What Love Sounds Like

by Alissa Callen

  ‘Was Sarah Tilly’s mother?’

  ‘Yes. It seems they got married on the top of a mountain in Canada and soon after had Tilly. They were visiting Sarah’s elderly aunt in New Zealand’s South Island when the helicopter they took for a scenic flight crashed.’ He swallowed. ‘Thankfully Tilly had been in the care of a neighbour. I don’t need to tell you where she ended up next.’

  Mia smiled. ‘She came to live with her Uncle Kade.’

  ‘She did.’ An answering smile briefly crossed his lips. ‘I still don’t know why Brad chose me. Sarah has a sister who would have been a much better alternative.’

  ‘You were his brother, Kade. He loved you.’

  ‘We just don’t do love in our family.’ Bitterness scoured his words.

  ‘Brad gifted you his most precious thing – Tilly. In anyone’s family that is a sign of love.’

  ‘Maybe.’ Kade pushed his half-drunk coffee away. ‘There was a letter addressed to me amongst Brad’s papers. One day I might read it and find out why he and Sarah chose me.’ He came to his feet. ‘I’m no cake expert but I think those cakes are done.’

  Mia stood too. Even as she watched, hardness again claimed his features. Like waves upon the sand, his gentleness and softness disappeared. With one blink of his blue eyes, Kade Reid, unemotional CEO, returned.

  If only he could as easily block out thoughts of Mia like the vine’s leaves screened out the late-morning sun from the veranda. Kade frowned as the hot breeze stirred the broad, green leaves of the ornamental grape that formed a living screen beside him. As a child he’d taken sanctuary in a tree-house at the end of the garden but the wooden fort wouldn’t provide any breathing space now. He knew from visits in the past week that from its high platform he’d still see the burnished sheen of Mia’s hair as she walked in the garden with Tilly and still hear the distant notes of her laughter. So he’d taken refuge behind the grape vine. He’d be invisible to anyone inside the house as well as in the garden.

  After their kitchen conversation last night, thoughts of Mia didn’t just plague him, they hounded him. Not once, but twice, had she been hurt. First by her hard-hearted father and then by a fiancé who sounded little better than Langford. Of all people, Mia deserved to be treated with respect and decency. He knew firsthand her unselfishness and courage were qualities that weren’t easily found. Without hesitation, she’d stepped outside her speech pathologist role to ease a grieving child’s pain. She’d also gone toe-to-toe with him to ensure that Tilly would lead the best life possible.

  He stretched out his legs to ease the restlessness building within him. As much as he admired the strength of her spirit and her kind-heartedness, he needed to keep his distance. Last night she hadn’t been the only one to disclose personal information, yet again he’d opened his big mouth. But expressing his pain at being separated from Brad had come at a cost. His revelations had left him feeling raw and vulnerable and he now needed a chance to to regroup.

  A faint cry sounded. He looked out over the green carpet of lawn. He’d seen Mia and Tilly from his office window looking like pirates dressed in red and white bandanas. Tilly must have found what they were searching for. A scream cut through the air. Heart in his throat, he shot off the wide veranda and ran into the garden to where the cry had come from. He burst through a gap in the hedge. And stopped.

  Before him, Mia stood frozen, chalk-white, with Tilly in her arms. A basket lay at Mia’s feet, its coloured cards strewn on the gravel. To their right, sunlight flashed off reptilian skin.

  His blood chilled. A snake.

  ‘Stay still, Mia,’ he said, not sure if the words would make it past his lips. ‘Just. Stay. Still.’

  Her head nodded slightly but otherwise she remained immobile. His hands fisted. His instincts shouted at him to protect the woman and child before him, but he dared not move. He was no match for the speed of an aggressive western brown. Silence closed around him, broken only by Tilly’s sobs, an occasional distant cluck of a hen in the chook pen and the harshness of his breathing. The seconds stretched into an eternity. Then the snake’s head turned. Its scaly skin glistened as it slithered into the undergrowth.

  Adrenaline detonated within his code-red muscles. He covered the ground to Mia in three strides. His arms encircled her and Tilly. ‘It’s gone,’ he said, his voice nothing more than a hoarse croak.

  Mia looked at him. Her skin was translucent and lips bloodless. For an instant, her body leaned against his before Tilly’s desperate fingers plucked at his shirt and she launched herself into his arms. He hugged her against his chest with one arm and kept his other around Mia’s shoulders.

  ‘It’s okay,’ he said, as Tilly buried her head beneath his chin. ‘You’re safe now.’

  Tucked against his side, he felt Mia tremble. ‘I’m used to s–s–’ She stopped and swallowed. ‘Snakes. But that was so close. Tilly almost trod on it.’

  His arm around her tightened. ‘Everything’s all right.’ His lips brushed her silken hair above her ear. ‘There’s been no harm done.’

  No harm done.

  Mia choked on a laugh that was sure to emerge more hysterical than humorous. If there was no harm done then why was she attached to Kade’s side like a limpet? Why did she register every breath he took? Why did she feel so unforgivably safe and secure?

  She pulled away. His arm dropped from around her shoulders. Cool air replaced the heat of his body. She bent to retrieve the basket of pirate treasure hunt clues. Her hand shook. She was supposed to be concentrating on her job and staying behind the professional line. She was supposed to be content with shouldering life’s burdens on her own and with the solitary path she’d chosen.

  No harm done. Infinite harm done.

  Thanks to her carelessness, Tilly had almost been bitten by a snake. Mia should have been paying attention to where they were strolling instead of allowing thoughts of Kade to distract her. So what if last night she’d experienced a connection she hadn’t felt in a long time? So what if she understood a little more about why he’d struggled so much to share his life with Tilly? For the little girl’s safety, as well as her own sanity, she couldn’t afford to be sidetracked again.

  She straightened and returned to Kade’s side to rub Tilly’s rigid back. ‘The snake’s long gone.’ Despite her reassurance, fear rippled through Tilly’s fragile frame.

  ‘Now where were we up to?’ Mia spoke in a normal tone as though their game hadn’t been interrupted. ‘Do you remember? We were supposed to walk to the other side of the garden and look for a tree where a possum might like to hide.’

  ‘A possum?’ Kade said. ‘I think I know which tree that could be.’

  Tilly lifted her head from his chest. She looked at Kade, then at Mia, and then at the basket of already read clues. Mia passed it to her. ‘Maybe your uncle will join us on our treasure hunt?’

  ‘Of course.’ Kade extended a brown boot for Tilly to see. ‘These are the best snake scaring boots in the whole of Australia.’

  Tilly grinned through her tears, clasped the clue basket against her chest and pointed to the other side of the garden. ‘Possum tree is over there.’

  Still carrying his niece, Kade started walking. Mia didn’t immediately follow. She looked in the direction the snake had slithered and shivered. She didn’t need a psychic or a set of tarot cards to know the reptile was a sign. Forget about the warmth of Kade’s smile. Forget about sweet little Tilly.

  Forget about finding a treasure worth far more than any stash of chocolate pirate doubloons.

  Chapter Ten

  A SUDDEN twitch of her muscles woke Mia. She squeezed her lids closed against the glare of her bedside light. The book she’d been reading thudded from her chest to the floor. She pushed herself onto her elbows and checked the clock.

  Midnight.

  She rubbed at her eyes. So much for staying awake in case Tilly had a nightmare. She’d only read a few pages before sleep had sabotaged her good intentions. She leaned out of
bed to scoop up her book. A child’s cry disturbed the night’s silence. She threw back the bed covers and ran from the room. Floorboards protested under her bare feet as she rushed down the moonlit hall.

  But as quick as she was, Kade was ahead of her and had almost reached Tilly’s doorway. An inside-out black tee had been hastily reefed over his tousled head and didn’t quite meet the back waistband of his grey cotton boxers.

  She stopped. Kade was ready to deal with Tilly’s nightmare. Last night, while watching the fairytale DVD, he’d proved he could cross the bridge into Tilly’s world. The wall between him and Tilly had been dismantled and he was now prepared to play an active role in rebuilding her life. There was no more reason for her to be anything but Tilly’s speech pathologist. She edged backward. A speech pathologist who needed to stop trespassing beyond her professional boundaries.

  Kade caught sight of her. ‘You heard Tilly too?’ The relief washing over his face held her still like no words could have. ‘She’s cried out twice now, but she still looks to be asleep.’

  Mia hesitated, then approached Tilly’s doorway to look in at the tiny figure huddled beneath the bed covers. ‘Poor darling. After the snake this afternoon, it’s no surprise she’s having a nightmare.’

  Kade moved away from the door frame. ‘You go in, you’ll know what to do.’

  ‘No, you go.’ She smiled a reassuring smile. ‘You were great with her on the treasure hunt. By the time we found the melted chocolate coins, she was too busy laughing to think about snakes.’

  He shook his head. ‘I know I survived the Sleeping Beauty movie but you know my track record for dealing with tears. What happens if I make Tilly more upset?’

  ‘You won’t. You’ll be fine.’

  ‘You go. I’m not sure if I can.’

  ‘Yes, you can.’ Without thought she touched his warm forearm. ‘Just put your arms around her. Tell her everything is all right.’

  Like you did to me.

  She snatched her hand away. She had no right offering Kade comfort. No right remembering how safe it felt to be held within the circle of his strong arms.

  He cast her an uncertain look and entered Tilly’s room. Mattress springs creaked as he sat on the edge of his niece’s bed. The nightlight threw a golden glow over his strained features. In her sleep, Tilly again cried out. Kade caressed her cheek. Her eyes flew open and she reached for him.

  ‘It’s just a bad dream,’ Mia heard him say before he gathered Tilly into his arms. ‘Everything’s all right.’

  The little girl answered in a rush of incoherent words that even Mia couldn’t understand. He lifted a hand and smoothed the hair off Tilly’s brow. ‘There are no snakes in your room.’ He smiled down at her. ‘Go back to sleep. I’ll stay with you.’

  Tilly gabbled some more unintelligible words that ended in a drawn-out sigh. She rested her head against Kade’s chest.

  Mia took a step away from the doorway. She’d seen enough. Kade had come a long way from the man who’d been unable to comfort his sobbing ward in her office. She rubbed at her upper arms as if chilled and took another step away from the doorway. So why then did the sight of him hugging Tilly fill her with such sadness instead of relief?

  Tilly lifted her head from Kade’s chest and peered around the dimly lit room. ‘Mia?’ Fresh anxiety thinned her voice.

  ‘She’s here, too,’ Kade said.

  Mia stilled. Two sets of eyes turned to her. Tilly’s soaked with tears, wide with terror. Kade’s sombre, intent.

  Her hands clenched by her sides. Self-preservation forbade her to enter the room. Her unofficial duty was finished. She wasn’t part of their family. Emotion propelled her forward. She couldn’t not go, Tilly needed her.

  ‘I’m here.’ Mia walked through the doorway, crossed to the bed and grasped the small hand Tilly thrust out to her.

  ‘Stay?’ Her voice trembled.

  ‘Yes, I’ll stay.’

  Mia let go of Tilly’s hand and gathered up the bed covers. ‘How about you lie down and I’ll tuck you in.’

  With her favourite bear beneath her arm, Tilly snuggled into her pillow. Mia drew the covers to her chin. ‘Now close your eyes. Kade and I will be right here.’

  When Tilly did as she was asked Mia sat at the end of the bed. She placed a hand on Tilly’s foot to reassure her she was still with her. Kade kissed Tilly’s cheek and then moved to sit on the opposite bed corner to Mia. Tilly’s lids lifted to check both Mia and Kade were with her and then closed. Seconds merged into minutes. Tilly’s rhythmic breathing filled the room.

  But Mia had trouble hearing anything except the blood thrumming in her ears and had trouble concentrating on anything but the man who sat silently across from her. The awareness that had unnerved her in the conservatory again fluttered in her stomach. She already knew what happened to her defences when she was around Kade in a dimly lit room. She had to leave. Or he did.

  She risked a sideways glance at him. ‘I don’t mind staying.’

  ‘I said I’d stay. Go get some sleep. There’s no point the two of us being like zombies tomorrow.’

  ‘Okay.’

  With only the narrow width of the single bed between them, even in the gloom she could see the glitter of emotion in his dark eyes. ‘Thanks.’

  His sincerity warmed her cheeks.

  ‘No worries.’ She slid to the edge of the bed. ‘But you would have coped fine without me.’

  ‘Mia, don’t let your father, or your ex-fiancé, stop you from living the life you deserve.’

  She’d lose herself in the pull of Kade’s soft words if she wasn’t careful. She looked toward Tilly.

  ‘I won’t and I don’t. My life is exactly how I want it.’

  ‘Are you sure about that?’

  ‘Absolutely. I have everything that I need or want.’

  Kade’s hand lifted and he curled a lock of her long hair around his finger. She stiffened. She knew she should break the physical bond between them but her legs ignored all instructions to stand.

  He turned his finger and the nightlight shimmered in the auburn strands of her hair. ‘You might share Langford’s hair colour and his spirit but that doesn’t mean you too have to live your life alone.’

  ‘Langford isn’t alone. His girlfriend-of-the-hour is always paraded across the Sydney social pages.’

  ‘You know that’s not what I meant. Langford may look like he’s not alone but the reality is he never connects with anyone on more than a superficial level.’

  Kade’s quiet voice strummed every chord of her quivering senses.

  ‘Well, I’m not alone. I have my clients. I have my friends. I help out in the Whylandra community.’

  Kade didn’t immediately answer. Instead he again turned his finger to watch the light dance in her hair. ‘You need someone other than your clients to cook cupcakes for.’

  Her breath caught in her throat. The path leading toward the personal line shone like stars in the darkness. Leave. Now. But she remained frozen in place on the edge of the bed, a lock of her hair still wrapped around his finger. The best she could do was to keep her words smooth and not let her stammer betray her defencelessness.

  ‘No. I don’t. There’s no time.’

  ’No?’

  Warning bells drowned out the heartbeat drumming in her chest. Kade curled her hair around his finger, shortening the thick strand until his hand brushed her jaw in a whisper-soft caress.

  ‘No,’ she whispered.

  His eyes darkened before he allowed her curl to unravel from round his finger. Her hair slid back into place. They were no longer joined. She should move away. But she couldn’t. Not when his eyes stared into hers with a solemnity, she’d never seen before. Not when his gaze then dropped to explore her mouth with an attentiveness that robbed her of all purpose.

  Her breathing grew shallow. Kade’s features moved out of focus as his mouth lowered to speak against hers. ‘Are you sure you don’t need anyone?’

  The husk
y timbre of his voice washed over her like his breath caressed her skin. Her lungs forgot to inhale. A fragment of a reply formed. But even as the letters blended into syllables, his mouth slid over hers. Gentle, seeking, tender, his lips stole hers in a deep, slow kiss.

  All time stopped. Senses melted. Lips parted.

  His fingers tangled in her hair and pulled her closer. She leaned into him, her hands skimming the hard line of his jaw before entwining around his neck. His low groan vibrated through the pads of her finger tips.

  She relaxed against him and gave into the bliss of Kade kissing her. Kissing her as though she were a princess he had to awaken from a hundred-year sleep and as though he’d never let her go.

  Fear burst into life, dousing all pleasure, extinguishing all hope. But he would let her go. Just like night following day, rejection followed emotional investment. She didn’t need yet another life lesson on abandonment. Her father and Jack had taught her all that she needed to know.

  The tremble of her heart transferred to her limbs. She couldn’t be vulnerable again and glimpse happiness only to have it snatched away. She couldn’t trust anyone. No matter how much she wanted to. She pulled herself out of Kade’s embrace and fled from the room. The hoarse rasp of him calling her name echoed in her ears.

  One minute Mia perfectly fitted into his arms.

  The next he was alone, left with nothing but the memory of her mouth, the taste of her sweetness upon his lips and the brutality of the pain that scored her words.

  He drew huge, ragged breaths. Like a spark to bone-dry tinder he’d combusted beneath Mia’s kiss. Like a match to a keg his life had exploded. He came to his feet. He had to go after her but he needed the universe to right itself first. Chest heaving, he stared unseeingly at the darkened ceiling.

  He’d felt their worlds merge and felt his own longings speak to hers. He’d felt the anguish of her withdrawal as though it were a physical wound.

  He speared his hands through his hair. Raw and insistent, a simple truth ripped through him.