Denial

by Jackie Kennedy

  Still blinking, Amy said, “She’s home?”

  Losing his hold on the wriggling boys, Josh replied distractedly, “Yup.”

  Alarmed, Amy’s eyes widened in shock. Celeste is coming here? She can’t be! Sucking in air, she squeezed out, “What do you mean Celeste is on her way over? I didn’t even know she was home!”

  Grabbing the countertop, Amy breathed in deeply. This can’t be happening, not today.”

  Smiling, Josh tightened his grip on the boys then looked at his wife. His smile faded when he saw Amy struggle for breath. He let the boys slide down him then quickly he made his way to her.

  “Honey?” Josh said, grasping Amy’s shoulders. “Amy?” His grip tightened. “Calm down,” he instructed. “Take a few deep breaths.”

  Amy inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly.

  “That’s it,” he said. “Nice and slow.”

  Sensing an opportunity to play with the pups, the twins slid the glass panel back, and slipped out into the backyard to find them.

  Light-headed, Amy closed her eyes. Even after all these years, the mention of Celeste’s name generally gripped her. Never mind the thought of actually seeing her. She looked at Josh. He couldn’t have just arranged for her to come over like it was something she did all the time.

  “Why the hell didn’t you tell me she was on her way over this morning?”

  “Celeste is here to spend time with the family,” Josh replied, taking Amy into his arms. “She intends to stay with my folks for the next few months.”

  Amy stared up at him. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have prepared something!”

  “What?” Josh frowned. “What would you need to prepare?”

  “I…” Amy tried to think. “I don’t know.” Her eyes searched the room looking for a clue. “Something!” she added. “There’s always something to prepare.”

  Confusion flickered across Josh’s eyes at Amy’s logic. “Look, honey, what’s going on? I’ve only ever seen you like this once before, and that was on our wedding day when I thought you were going to run out on me.” He kissed the top of her head comfortingly. “I didn’t know she was coming home until a few days ago, and I didn’t tell you because I thought it would be a good surprise. Listen, it’s not a bad thing. We really do need help with the Terrible Two. It’ll be a nice surprise for the kids.”

  “Josh, how can it be a surprise when they don’t even know her.” Amy pushed out of his arms, and made her way to the large open glass panel leading to the backyard. Huh, she thought, if you knew what happened between us then for sure that would be one helluva surprise.

  Shouting to the boys to hurry up, Amy turned to Josh. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Shrugging, Josh threw his hands out questioningly. “What’s the big deal, Amy?” he asked, frowning. “I thought you would be glad to see her. She’s only visited once since we had the boys, and you didn’t see her then because you were visiting family with Maggie.”

  Amy’s aunt, Maggie’s mother, had died suddenly a few years ago, and when Amy called home after the funeral, she was told Celeste had made an ‘impromptu’ visit to see the boys. An impromptu visit, my arse, Amy thought at the time. From that moment on, she decided to reciprocate by deliberately avoiding anything that would involve taking an interest in Celeste. Up until now, that arrangement had suited her just fine.

  Obviously surprised by Amy’s reaction, Josh continued to appease. “She’s only coming this morning because I asked her to help me with the kids. I thought I would mention to her, after discussing it with you, of course,” he mollified, “about staying here for a few weeks instead of at my folks. It would mean having an extra pair of hands here while Maggie’s away, and a little female company amongst all these guys. I mean even the goddamn pups are male.”

  When Amy didn’t respond Josh added, “To be honest, honey, I really miss her, and want her around.”

  Amy knew he was right. Although she hadn’t seen her, Josh had, several times. His job increasingly took him abroad and whenever he could, he met up with his sister.

  Embarrassed at her overreaction, Amy ran her fingers through her hair. Keep it together, she thought. There’s too much else going on this morning.

  Trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, Amy breathed in slowly then distractedly shouted again for the boys to hurry up. She focused on Josh. “Of course it’s okay to have your sister around,” she said, removing her hair band from her wrist and this time efficiently tying her hair back. “I know how important Celeste is to you, but…well…it’s not like you to make arrangements and not let me know.”

  Puzzled, Josh looked at her. “Amy, she’s my sister,” he said, frowning. “I didn’t think it would be a problem.”

  Ashamed that he had no clue why she was upset, Amy blushed and, feeling guilty, assured him, “It’s not.”

  His voice softened. “Look, honey, it makes sense. Maggie isn’t here and everyone else is on vacation, your folks, my folks.” He smiled. “No one else is around. Even Sophie cleared out, frightened we might ask her to help.” Shrugging, he held out his hands. “Celeste’s here and, for now, has plenty of time on her hands.” Clearly unsure why Amy was so resistant to his sister helping out, Josh’s frown deepened. “And until Maggie gets back, she’ll be a great help around here.” His frown cleared. “You know it makes perfect sense.”

  Unable to explain her reticence, Amy conceded. Nodding, she smiled at Josh.

  Grinning, Josh moved toward Amy just as she lurched forward, thrown completely off balance by the force of two strong puppies hurtling past her.

  Josh grabbed Amy, steadying her.

  Amy gasped as the pups, with lolling tongues, clambered up her legs looking for attention. Her jaw dropped and she watched in horror as they slapped morning dew, mixed with mud, all over the cream skirt of her brand-new designer suit.

  Unable to believe the number of things that were going wrong this morning, Amy gritted her teeth and grabbed her suit jacket and workbag. “I need to get to work. Could you please get the boys organized and into the Jeep before I lose it completely!”

  Moving out of the house quickly, Amy threw her stuff into the passenger seat. Pulling baby wipes from the Jeep she frantically tried to remove the muddy paw prints. For better advantage, she unzipped her skirt and tried to remove the marks of a disastrous morning.

  Josh successfully managed to get the boys out of the house, and into the Jeep.

  Working at getting the marks out, Amy listened to Josh chat to the boys as he fastened them into their seats. Her lips twitched then she grinned when she heard the boys’ laugher as Josh tickled them senseless.

  Not happy with the results, but desperate to escape before Celeste arrived, Amy stopped wiping down her skirt. Thank God, she thought, there’s a spare suit at the office.

  Amy held her breath when tires crunched their way up the driveway. “Shit,” she muttered.

  Holding her loose skirt in one hand and baby wipe in the other, Amy felt a tingle on the nape of her neck. She turned around slowly, and watched Celeste get out of her car. The brunette was dressed casually in jeans and a black T-shirt with her hair in a ponytail. Still as beautiful as ever, Amy thought.

  Their eyes locked.

  “Hey, Cel,” Josh said. Sweeping his sister up in his arms, he hugged her tight.

  Unable to break eye contact, Celeste gazed at Amy over Josh’s shoulder, and wondered what was going on behind those amazing turquoise-blue eyes. Her heart twisted when a cautious look crossed the blonde’s face

  “It’s great to see you,” Josh said, letting Celeste go. He looked at Amy. “Believe it or not, I’ve worked very hard to get her here.”

  Celeste smiled. “I’m glad to be here.”

  Over the last few years, Celeste’s job had been more than demanding with little time to visit home. But, if she was honest, it had taken her a long time to accept what had happened between her and Amy. The betrayal factor alone had kept her away; so much so she
had only come home once in the last few years, and only when she found out Amy was out of the country.

  Looking at Amy, Celeste was forced to admit that back then she wasn’t comfortable with the idea of meeting up with her ‘sister-in-law’. But now, four years on, she was home for a couple of reasons, one of which was to bury the past with Amy.

  Breaking out of Josh’s embrace, Celeste approached Amy. Her voice full of warmth, she whispered, “Hi.”

  Lifting her chin, her voice guarded, Amy replied, “Hi.”

  “It’s good to see you,” Celeste said. Stepping closer, she took Amy’s hand and squeezed it.

  A look of surprise flitted over Amy’s face and she quickly pulled her hand back. “I am so late,” she said. “Josh, there’s no way I can drop the boys off and get to my meeting on time.”

  Sensing the panic in the air, Celeste offered, “If it helps, why don’t I take them?”

  Josh and Amy looked at her. With relief, Josh replied, “Great idea, sis.”

  Amy zipped her skirt. Hurriedly, she thanked Celeste before fetching her workbag from the Jeep. Quickly, she said goodbye to the boys and got in her car. As she pulled out of the garage she rolled down the window.

  “See you later, hon,” Josh said. Reaching in through the open window, he kissed Amy lightly on the lips.

  Celeste looked on amused when Amy blushed heavily.

  “Thanks for your help, Celeste.”

  With humor, Celeste looked into the blonde’s vivid blue eyes and nodded. “You’re welcome, but Amy, you should know…” She moved her hand up and down the front of her body.

  Looking confused, Amy frowned.

  “You’re…” Celeste pointed at Amy’s breasts.

  Amy looked down; her wrongly buttoned shirt was gaping open at the cleavage. She turned bright red. “I’ll sort it later,” she said. Smiling awkwardly, she revved the engine, and drove off.

  Waving goodbye, Celeste wondered why Josh hadn’t told Amy her shirt was wrongly buttoned. She watched him wave goodbye then smiled knowing full well her brother was mischievous enough to let his wife go to work without telling her that her shirt was undone.

  After Amy’s car disappeared from view, Josh turned to Celeste. “Let me reintroduce you to the Terrible Two.” Pointing both hands at the Jeep, he spoke as if narrating for an old western movie. “You might have served in battle-torn countries, dodged bullets, survived hurricanes and saved countless lives. But,” his voice timbered as he took her hand and pulled her gently toward the Jeep, “I’ll be amazed if you last a week with these two.”

  Enjoying the playful glint in Josh’s eyes, Celeste winked at her brother and laughed freely when he dropped her hand, and beating his chest, roared. She grinned when she heard gleeful giggles coming from the Jeep.

  Chapter 13

  “It’s great to be home,” Amy said, smiling widely at Celeste.

  Celeste glanced at her watch. It was nine o’clock. “Here, have this.” She handed Amy a glass of red wine and smiled warmly at her.

  Celeste picked up her own wine and took a seat across from Amy. For the last two weeks, Amy had worked late most evenings, and for the last few days was locked up in business meetings with a bunch of solicitors in New York, finalizing, according to Josh, a lucrative, long-term contract.

  Celeste watched Amy as she sat contentedly on the sofa with Christopher in her arm, gently rocking him to sleep. Ryan was already sound asleep with his head on Amy’s lap. As it was Friday, the boys were allowed to stay up later than usual to welcome their mom home.

  Celeste smiled as she watched Christopher fight to keep his eyes open.

  Taking a seat on the sofa beside his family, Josh asked, “Are you hungry, honey?”

  Smiling, Amy shook her head. “No, thanks, I ate earlier.” She sipped her wine. “Has Maggie called? I haven’t managed to get hold of her in the last few days.”

  Josh chuckled. “Every friggin’ day.” He raised his eyebrows. “Hasn’t she tried to call you?”

  “Yes,” Amy replied, her husky Scottish burr lilting in Celeste’s ears. “But because of the length of time the meetings went on, I kept missing her.” Amy looked at Celeste, and included her in the conversation. “Apparently, some old friends from New Zealand have paid a surprise visit, and because Uncle Jim’s feeling better, she’s taken off into the hills with them, but it’s practically impossible to get a signal there.”

  Josh nodded. “She talked to Celeste recently.”

  “We spoke yesterday,” Celeste said, making eye contact with Amy. “She knows you’re due back this evening, but she wasn’t sure if she would catch you tonight as she’s off to bag her last Munro.”

  Celeste’s eyes widened with pleasure when Amy smiled at her. She held her breath when Amy bent her head, and brushed her lips over Christopher’s forehead.

  “Maggie is a keen hiker and has bagged all but a few of the Munro Mountains in Scotland,” Amy explained. “Munros are climbed by hikers with near-religious fanaticism, and Maggie’s dedicated. I’ll give her that.” Looking at Celeste, she added with a touch of humor, “She bags those things with the same kind of dedication that wee, spotty adolescent comic collectors have.”

  Celeste smiled at Amy’s description of Maggie. Sipping her wine, she listened as Josh questioned Amy about her trip. Unobserved, she allowed her expression to become open. Exhaling slowly, she carefully appraised Amy, liking her professional look. She looked great in her white, long-sleeved cotton shirt with onyx cufflinks, and smart tailored black trousers with heeled shoes. Celeste looked at Amy’s suit jacket. She liked the way the blonde had thrown it over the sofa when she arrived home.

  Taking a sip from her wineglass, Celeste watched her brother and his family. Six months ago, having a family was the last thing on Celeste’s mind, but while working in Sierra Leone a four-year-old boy, Daniel, had come to her attention when treating his mother, who was dying of AIDS. His grandparents were old and, given the crisis, wouldn’t be alive much longer. This meant that Daniel and his four-month-old baby sister were vulnerable.

  Years of experience made Celeste fully aware of how bleak their future was without a family to protect them. She had seen it before, been exposed to similar types of situations over the years. But this time, it affected her. Normally there was some sort of network of extended family for the children, but not in this case. There were no relatives. The orphanages were their only hope, and life there was nearly always grim.

  Daniel was extremely bright. Something about the boy and his vulnerable baby sister touched Celeste. When she made the decision to plan for a future that included them, she was surprised at how certain she felt she was doing the right thing. She thought of Felice, who had told her often it was only a matter of time before a child would reach in and touch her heart. She smiled ruefully. Felice was right.

  Focusing on Amy, Celeste’s fingers tingled when Amy laughed at something Josh said. Her pulse quickened when he reached out and loosened Amy’s dark blond hair from its hair band. Celeste’s eyes widened appreciatively when Amy’s hair fell around her shoulders. She focused on Josh and watched him look adoringly at his wife. Her eyes narrowed and her stomach twisted as new feelings of jealousy swamped her.

  Surprised and frightened by the intense emotions running through her, Celeste stood, put her glass down and excused herself, uttering as she left the room that she had an early start.

  Startled, Amy watched Celeste leave. Concerned, she queried Josh, “Is she okay?”

  Josh squeezed Amy’s shoulder. “Nothing’s wrong with her.”

  Amy smiled up at Josh then sipped her wine.

  Over the last two weeks, Amy had noticed that Celeste singularly sought out Josh’s company. It warmed her heart they were so comfortable and good fun around each other. The boys too, Amy admitted, adored their aunt. Her lips quirked, knowing that the reason was mostly due to Celeste giving in to the boys’ every whim.

  To Amy’s surprise, Celeste was a fabulous c
ook, and was happy to prepare meals for them most evenings. To her further surprise, Amy realized she liked having the brunette around; she was easy company.

  Josh stroked Amy’s cheek lightly. “There’s been a change of plan.”

  Surprised, Amy looked at him. “What?”

  “I won’t be able to come with you to my folks tomorrow."

  Seeing the disappointment in her eyes, Josh explained there was a problem with the software due for release.

  Amy sighed then listened patiently as Josh explained the situation, telling her it would take a maximum of two to three days to sort out. This week, they had planned a break as Fraser and Camille were returning from their tour of Australia.

  Amy really liked Josh’s parents and over the last few years had developed a strong relationship with them. She loved that they doted on the children. Recently, the couple had chosen to retire and move to Jacksonville; a few hours’ drive away. Fraser preferred north Florida, as the climate was different—the winter months tended to be chilly—and there was easy access to places like Atlanta. The attraction, he told Amy when she queried, was being able to escape to the Georgia mountains in August when tourism got heavy. The couple promised that it wouldn’t impact on time with the children, and to date it hadn’t. All it meant was the kids tended to spend entire weekends at their grandparents.

  “Thank God, Celeste has been here over the last two weeks,” Josh said, rubbing his forehead. “Given the pressures you’ve been under and the problems with the software release, we would’ve really struggled if she hadn’t been.” He stood then picked Ryan up. “Why don’t we turn in?” He looked at Amy. “Let’s put the boys to bed and,” his tone suggested something, “have an early night.”

  Amy nodded then stood. She thought he was right, overall, Celeste had turned out to be a great help. But, she reflected as she hugged Christopher to her, although Celeste was friendly enough, there was a definite distance between them. Celeste only seemed to relax fully when her brother and the children were around.

  Amy resolved that what happened between them, if not forgotten, was now very much a part of the past. Celeste, she concluded thankfully, was only here to strengthen her relationship with her brother and build a relationship with the twins.