Not wanting to get sidetracked, and knowing that Celeste didn’t talk about herself much, Amy grasped her hand, “And…”
“And,” Celeste answered, amusement flicking across her eyes, “when I graduated, a friend gave me a book on the founder of Médecins sans Frontières and when I read this incredible story, I remembered that was why I went to med school in the first place.”
Amy smiled at her. “As simple as that?” she whispered. “No big complicated story?”
Looking at Amy, Celeste whispered, “Yes.” She kissed her. “As simple as that.”
Amy smoothed Celeste’s hair from her face. “I cry at the drop of a hat,” she shared. “Even more since I had the boys.”
Celeste placed a hand where she had bitten Amy earlier and, stroking the faint marks, asked, “Have you always needed that to bring you to orgasm?”
Surprised by the question, Amy drew in her breath. Aware that they were being open, she made the decision to answer her. “No,” she replied. “I have never needed that…before…before…you.”
Celeste hesitated then asked, “Why do you like it now?”
Amy looked at her. “I like a lot of things I didn’t know I liked.”
“Why that?”
Amy gave it some thought. “I think I like it because the first night it added something.” She eyed Celeste. “I’m not into pain or anything like that, you know.”
Celeste laughed. “I know. That’s not what I’m asking.” She ran her fingers along Amy’s neck and shoulder. “Added something. What?”
Amy’s pulse quickened and her stomach tensed. “It added something to my orgasm.”
“Do you ask Josh to do it?”
Amy’s eyebrows rose in surprise.
“Does he?” Celeste asked, eyeing her intently.
Amy hesitated. “No.”
“Why?”
Amy stared at her.
Celeste repeated, “Why?”
Unsure where this line of questioning was going, Amy replied slowly, “Because I don’t want him to.”
Amy noted relief flicker across Celeste’s features.
“Why do you think that is?”
Amy shrugged and hesitated. Should we be discussing this? Hadn’t we agreed that this was a no-go area? Hadn’t we agreed that we wouldn’t talk about Josh, never mind how we made love?
Amy cringed at the thought of discussing how she and Josh made love. The reality of who Celeste was, in relation to Josh, was always lurking around in her mind. It’s bad enough what you’re doing, her inner voice muttered. Don’t start comparing notes!
Amy closed her eyes, wanting to be honest with Celeste, but knowing she couldn’t.
Celeste cupped Amy’s breast lightly and began kissing her throat.
Opening her eyes, Amy moaned. She was being driven to distraction by this woman. She was feeling hot, very hot. To her surprise, she really had to fight the urge to place Celeste’s hand between her thighs.
Celeste asked again, “Why?”
Unwilling to give a detailed response, Amy muttered, “Josh and I…it… Well…it’s just different.”
Celeste pushed. “Why is it different?”
“Celeste, I can’t talk to you about that.” Her jaw clenched. “I need you to touch me.”
“Talk to me.”
Amy fought with her internal voice, which was cautioning her to say nothing. Worried that Celeste might leave, and the need for her to stay too strong, she stuttered, “Celeste…I…Josh and I…we’ve…I’ve never felt….” She sighed and ignoring the warning bells in her head said, “I’ve never been this….” She didn’t know what to say. Blanking her mind, she let the words form. “I’ve never been this sexual with him, with anyone.” Her brows rose. “It seems I have no control over my body when it comes to you.”
Amy’s internal voice choked with her disclosure.
A look of satisfaction flickered across Celeste’s eyes. Reaching out, she stroked Amy’s face. “Tell me what it feels like.”
Amy whispered, “Why don’t I show you?”
Celeste kissed Amy deeply then replied stubbornly, “Tell me.”
“Och.” Annoyed, Amy balled the bed sheet in her hands.
Celeste rose on her elbow, and propping her head on her hand, drew her thigh over Amy. Deliberately, she made a show of pressing her breasts into her as she stroked up and down Amy’s trembling stomach.
Eyes smoldering, Celeste waited for a response.
Annoyed, Amy huffed. “You’re enjoying this,” she said, kicking her feet out.
Amy knew that Celeste was using her power over her. Her internal chatter turned up the volume and told her to back away, to stop the conversation, stick to the arrangement, avoid the emotional detail; otherwise, closure would be difficult. She opened her mouth to tell Celeste that she’d had enough and wanted to sleep, but instead she whispered, “I’ll tell you, if you’ll touch me.”
Amy’s inner voice sighed.
Celeste ran her fingers lightly down Amy’s hips, down her leg and up the inside of her thighs.
Instantly, Amy opened her legs to allow her access.
Celeste stroked Amy’s clit lightly, teasingly.
Amy groaned.
Celeste’s hand stilled. With her head resting on her palm, she leaned her face close to Amy. “Tell me,” she whispered.
“For God’s sake, stop this!”
Amy was close to losing her temper, but Celeste insisted. “Tell me.”
Amy wanted to scream with frustration, but instead uttered, “The first time with you it should have hurt, but it didn’t.” She reached for Celeste’s breast. Stroking her nipple, she muttered, “It seemed so…”
Celeste groaned. Her breath caught when Amy pinched her nipple. “No, Amy,” she said, pushing her hand away. “No distractions. Answer the question.”
Ignoring her, Amy continued to cup and stroke her breast.
Celeste slid her fingers inside Amy.
Amy’s hand abruptly stilled. She drew her leg up when a jolt passed through her. Moving her hand to grasp the bed sheet, she closed her eyes and pumped her hips.
Celeste slid out of Amy and began stroking her clit, slowly, lightly.
Amy’s eyes fluttered open. She focused on Celeste.
Celeste purred. “You were saying?”
Amy murmured, “Uhmmm…it seemed to heighten my orgasm.” Letting go of the bed sheet, Amy pulled Celeste to her until their lips touched and whispered, “And make it more—” She abruptly stopped speaking when her groin clenched.
Celeste’s hand stilled.
Amy groaned. “Powerful,” she finished then sighed. “Uggghhh.” Forcing herself to speak, she pleaded, “Please, Celeste. Go inside me again.” She kissed her hungrily.
Celeste pulled her mouth away. “Not until you tell me,” she replied, dancing her fingers lightly around Amy’s clit.
“Uhmmm,” Amy said quickly. “Highly aroused,” she whispered against Celeste’s mouth. “My orgasms are powerful with you. Aagghh.” Celeste’s teasing was unbearable. She begged, “Inside me, please. Please, Celeste.”
“Tell me more.”
Amy didn’t want to talk anymore.
Celeste’s hand stilled.
In frustration, Amy covered Celeste’s hand with her own. Desperate to keep the momentum, she pressed both their hands into her clit. She stared at Celeste and with her voice deadly serious, said, “Please, Celeste…this is torture.”
Celeste moved Amy’s hand away then rubbed her thumb lightly over her clit, keeping her on the edge.
Amy’s hips rose high with each slight touch.
Celeste asked, “Why do you think there is a such as strong attraction between us?”
Amy didn’t respond.
Celeste stilled her hand.
Amy continued to move her hips.
Celeste asked again, “Why?”
Amy stopped moving and, looking directly into Celeste’s eyes, said in anger, “Celeste, I really d
on’t know. All I know is that right now I need you.”
Celeste groaned heavily. She stretched out and pressed her full length into her. With her fingers, she opened Amy up and slid inside. Sliding down, she anchored Amy’s thigh between hers, then took a nipple in her mouth and bit it lightly.
“Celeste I—”
Amy’s words were cut short when Celeste pressed into her. She groaned heavily when Celeste flicked her nipple back and forth with her tongue. “Oh God.”
Celeste gasped when Amy pushed her thigh into her, rubbing it deliberately against her clit. Groaning, she made her way up and kissed Amy deeply, her tongue thrusting into her mouth. Eventually, the kiss slowed and stopped. Their eyes locked. Breathing each other’s air, Celeste rode Amy’s thigh as she thrust into her.
“Oh God…” Amy arched against Celeste.
Celeste could barely catch her breath. Keeping eye contact, she moved against Amy, sweat formed between them.
“Ohhh.” Amy’s hands tightened painfully in Celeste’s hair.
Overcome by the sensation of feeling Amy’s internal muscles contract, Celeste groaned into Amy’s mouth and told her how much she loved being inside her.
Amy pulled on Celeste’s hip, pushing her thigh into her hard. She whispered, “Come with me.”
Celeste’s eyes shuttered down. Amy’s words drove her over the edge. She threw her head back. Their movements frantic, they cried out, bodies arched, they came hard.
Slowly, Celeste kissed Amy’s throat and lips. She kissed her gently, until she calmed.
“I want to touch you,” Amy said. Breathing deeply, she slid Celeste’s hand from inside her. Moving onto her side, she pressed Celeste flat on her back, then quickly buried her fingers deep inside her.
Surprised by the maneuver, Celeste moaned.
Holding her gaze, Amy slowly moved inside Celeste.
Celeste’s eyes widened when Amy slid down her. She moaned when hot, wet lips sucked on her clit.
After a few minutes, Amy kissed Celeste’s thighs gently. Looking up at her, she whispered, “Are you ready?”
Celeste groaned and tried to focus. “Yes…”
“Not yet,” Amy said. “Don’t move your hips until I tell you.”
With difficulty, Celeste stilled her hips.
Amy reached up and cupped Celeste’s breast. “You have the most beautiful breasts,” she said, pulling on a nipple and pinching it.
Celeste moaned and thrust her hips forward.
Amy stopped touching her. “Don’t move until I tell you.”
Celeste’s breath caught. Her muscles trembling inside, she whispered, “I’m not sure how long I can hold on.”
“Not yet,” Amy replied. Thrusting gently, she explored as she kissed her way up to Celeste’s throat.
“Amy, baby… Please,” Celeste whispered with quiet desperation.
“Don’t move,” Amy said, her voice low and charged with sensuality.
Completely surprised by Amy’s actions, Celeste surrendered entirely.
Amy changed pace from slow to fast then back again. She bit Celeste lightly on her stomach, her shoulder, her side; the gentler the thrust, the gentler the bite; the deeper the thrust, the harder the bite. Some were created to leave their mark, but all were deliriously hot, designed to take Celeste to the edge then tear her back.
Celeste tried to hold on, but couldn’t, her voice rose. “Now… I need to come now… Please.” Celeste convulsed forward, then shuddered. “Please.”
“Not yet.”
“Please!” Celeste said, her voice ragged. She reached for her clit.
Amy whispered, “Touch. But don’t move your hips.”
Celeste’s mouth opened and she sucked on her bottom lip as her groin tensed sweetly in gratification.
Amy positioned herself between Celeste’s legs. “I want to watch you,” she said, running her hands slowly up and down Celeste’s inner thighs.
Groaning, Celeste’s eyelids closed.
“Look at me.”
Slowly opening her eyes, Celeste focused on Amy.
“Don’t move your hips,” Amy instructed. “Touch yourself slowly.”
Nodding, Celeste swallowed visibly, then moaned repeatedly as she tried to follow Amy’s instructions. Eventually, unable to stand the intensity, she said, in a strangled voice, “Now, Amy!”
Smiling wickedly, Amy slid her fingers deep inside Celeste. “Not so easy, is it?”
Leaning over Celeste, and holding her gaze, Amy thrust inside her.
Blood pounded in Celeste’s ears.
“Tell me what it feels like?”
Celeste tried to focus on Amy but was forced to close her eyes. Sweet revenge! Certain she would pass out, Celeste groaned. She couldn’t stand it; she was consumed by a rush of excitement so strong she could barely draw breath.
Amy increased her speed. “Come for me,” she said huskily.
Celeste cried out. She stretched out taut as Amy thrust into her. Within seconds, she released a long, wonderfully slow, strangling guttural cry, as her orgasm swept through her.
Breathing raggedly, it was a few moments before Celeste slowly opened her eyes.
Looking at Celeste hungrily, Amy moved on top of her. Gripping Celeste’s left hand, she pushed it between her own thighs. “Now, Celeste,” she said urgently. “Now!”
Amy kissed Celeste passionately. Their teeth gnashed together with the intensity of the kiss.
Celeste ran her fingers over Amy’s clit and stroked it. She groaned when Amy, shuddering, thrust her hips forward and instantly came.
Exhausted, a deep laugh of pleasure escaped Celeste when Amy slumped on top of her. Tenderly, she wrapped her arms around her.
Eventually, Amy slipped off Celeste and moved to her side. Throwing a leg over Celeste’s lean thigh, she muttered as she positioned her head comfortably on Celeste’s breast, “Don’t move.” She yawned. “I want to sleep with you like this.”
Celeste smiled when Amy mumbled sleepily, “You’re insatiable.”
Kissing her head, Celeste responded affectionately, “You too.”
Amy chuckled. “So it seems.”
Celeste listened to Amy’s breathing even out. She felt fully awake. More awake than she had ever been. Tonight, everything had shifted for her and she had needed answers. The image of Josh making love to Amy had created a tidal wave of emotions inside her. Cuddling Amy, she touched the light perspiration on her back, and felt a protectiveness that she had never experienced.
Celeste bit her lip pensively, understanding that she wanted more than the physical; she wanted the emotional feedback. She looked down at Amy’s sleeping face and quashed an urge to wake her and ask what she felt about what was happening between them. She wanted her to talk about what it meant to her.
Celeste fought the urge to wake Amy and tell her that she was scared of losing what she didn’t have, that she didn’t want it to end, that the thought of it tore her apart.
Exhaling, Celeste finally acknowledged that she was deeply in love with Amy. Holding Amy tightly, terror swept through her when she realized that she could never have her, not only had Amy made it clear that there was no future for them, but Celeste could never ask for anything more than what they had. Anything more would be impossible, as openly loving Amy would tear her family apart.
Chapter 35
Amy pulled out a weed and, lifting her head, listened. She turned down the radio and waited to hear the doorbell ring again. It was Sunday morning and some months since her trip to New York. Frowning, she looked at her watch. It couldn’t be Josh; he had just left with the boys to watch a baseball game. It couldn’t be Maggie, she and Sean had dropped by about twenty minutes ago to take the dogs to the dog park on Venice Beach. The only person she was expecting was her mother. Irene had arranged to drop off some plant cuttings late in the afternoon, but it wouldn’t have surprised Amy if she decided to come by early.
Thinking she was wrong, Amy turned the radio volume up a
gain and continued to dig knowing that if it was Irene, she would know to come to the backyard.
Picking up again on the faint but definite sound of the doorbell, Amy heaved a sigh of frustration and got up to answer it. Making her way through the kitchen, she headed for the front door.
The doorbell rang again and Amy hurried to answer it. Opening the door, she saw that it was Celeste. Without a word, she turned around and headed back out to the garden.
Returning to her spot, Amy got on her knees to weed.
“Amy, we need to talk.”
Amy stopped digging. “Oh really, Celeste?” she replied, color creeping in her cheeks. “We need to talk about what exactly?”
Celeste moved closer. “We need to talk about last night.”
Amy sat back on her heels. “Okay, let’s talk!” she said. “Who should we talk about first? Let’s see, Laura?” She shook her head. “Oh, that’s right, you’ve dumped her, haven’t you. Maybe we should talk about your new girlfriend, Robin? Or maybe your other shag, me, your brother’s wife!” She stood up. “God, I don’t know what to admire more, your audacity or your stamina!”
Celeste lifted her hands then dropped them. “She’s not my girlfriend,” she replied, moving to stand in front of Amy.
“Are you sure about that, Celeste?” Amy asked, peeling off her gloves. Scrunching them, she threw them into the refuse bag. “Because, from where I was sitting last night, I could have sworn she was.”
Amy looked at Celeste. She gritted her teeth. It was driving her crazy, the thought of Celeste with someone else.
“Do you have any idea the dangerous position I’ve put myself in over the last four months?” Amy said. Her stomach churned as images of Celeste touching Robin Fernandez flashed through her mind. “Celeste, what is wrong with you? We are having a fucking affair, and I’m trying to keep my sanity together by keeping hold of the darkest secret I have ever had. And you come waltzing into the restaurant last night with your bit of fluff and sit with us, and let her drool all over you!” Amy threw up her arms. “What am I supposed think? That it’s a joke? That it’s all a bit of fun to you?” She stared at Celeste, and memories of the previous night flooded in.
†
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