Last night Amy and Josh had dined out in a newly opened restaurant in South Venice. Josh had arranged for a work colleague and his wife, who were new in town, to dine with them. When they arrived at the restaurant they were seated on a large sofa made of antelope skin. Amy liked the look and feel of it, and mentally positioned it in various rooms in the house. They hadn’t been in the restaurant for more than five minutes before Josh became agitated and decided to call their guests. He was a real stickler for good timekeeping.
While he called, Amy sipped her gin and tonic and perused the menu on her knee.
Josh hung up the phone and slid close to Amy, putting his arm around the back of the sofa and pulling her into him. “They took a wrong turn,” he said. “They’ll be here any minute.” He kissed her lightly. “Have I told you how beautiful you look this evening?”
Amy smiled and nodded. She had bought a new outfit—a tight-fitting, low-cut, cream dress and new shoes, with three-inch heels. She had bought them when she was out shopping with Maggie earlier that week. She had dithered whether or not to buy the dress, as it was more risqué than what she usually wore, but Maggie had encouraged her.
Getting ready, Amy was pleased that she had bought it. Ever since her return from New York, she was increasingly feeling adventurous and the outfit reflected that. When Josh saw her in the dress, it had taken all her powers of persuasion to get him out the door.
Josh murmured, “Do you know how fantastic you look in that dress? I can’t wait to get you home tonight,” he said and kissed her.
“Hi.”
Amy broke the kiss and looked up. The color drained from her face. It was Celeste.
Josh, resting his hand on Amy’s thigh, grinned up at his sister. “Hi Cel,” he replied in surprise. “You got reservations here too?”
Celeste looked at Josh’s hand, then directly at Amy. “Yes,” she answered, eyes ablaze.
Josh looked around. “That’s great,” he replied, trying to catch the eye of the maitre d’. “We’re waiting for another couple but we can easily organize for you to join us. He caught the maître d’s eye and gestured to him. “Who are you with?”
Amy stared at Celeste in shock, unable to believe she was standing over them. She took in a sharp breath when a beautiful, dark-headed woman approached. Standing next to Celeste, she linked her arm through hers.
“Robin,” Celeste said, “I would like you to meet my brother, Josh, and his wife, Amy.”
†
“Amy?”
“What?” Amy replied. She picked up her garden tools then looked at Celeste. “Is she your lover?”
“No,” Celeste replied.
Amy looked at Celeste for a moment, and sounding unconvinced asked, “Maybe not. But you’re not denying that you’ve slept with her?”
Celeste didn’t respond.
Amy angrily tried to push past her, but Celeste grabbed her arms, and held her tight.
Amy looked at her. “When?” She tried to pull away. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to know.”
Celeste held her. She opened her mouth, about to explain when Amy broke in, “Don’t bother answering,” she said angrily. “There’s probably a string of us,” she said accusingly. “How could you, Celeste? For God’s sake, isn’t it complicated enough?”
Celeste shook Amy gently, aware that the pressure of hiding their relationship over the last four months was more than getting to her. “Listen to me. There is nothing going on with her or anyone.” She desperately wanted to tell Amy that her night with Robin was a mistake. “Amy, it was one night. It was a—”
Amy pulled out of her arms and slapped Celeste hard across the face.
Staring at Amy, Celeste moved her jaw back and forth. Unable to believe that in less than twenty-four hours, she had received two of those.
Since the trip to the Keys Robin had telephoned a few times but Celeste had made it abundantly clear she wasn’t interested in pursuing anything other than a friendship.
Robin had originally arranged to spend this weekend with Alex, but Alex had bowed out with a lame excuse leaving Celeste with no choice but to entertain her.
When Robin arrived yesterday morning, Celeste picked her up from her hotel and they spent the day shopping. She had to admit she did enjoy Robin’s company; the air always seemed charged with energy around her, and she had attitude—swinging her hips when she walked as if she had a game plan for every step.
Celeste couldn’t help but admire the woman; she knew exactly who she was and where she was going.
As it turned out, Robin had expensive tastes and throughout the day Celeste watched her swipe her credit card until it was threadbare. More than once, Robin offered to buy her an expensive gift, and regardless of how often she refused, Robin, it seemed, was only ever used to getting her own way. She insisted to such a point that Celeste’s mood darkened and she cut their shopping spree short.
When Celeste dropped Robin off at her hotel, she refused her not-so-subtle advances to join her for a drink in her room. Instead, she arranged to pick her up later that evening.
At the restaurant, during the meal, Josh had asked how they knew each other. Celeste explained that Robin was a friend of Alex and she was playing host, as he was out of town.
To Celeste’s astonishment, Robin let out a deep throaty laugh, and clasping her hand, looked at Josh, then directly at Amy, and almost purred. “Yes,” she said, winking at Amy. “It’s just as well, because, you know the old adage: two’s company and three’s a crowd.”
Not amused, Celeste quickly removed her hand and said coldly, before changing the subject, “I don’t think that applies here.”
From then on, the rest of the evening seemed to unfold like a nightmare. It wasn’t so much what Robin was saying—her innuendos were cleverly disguised—but it was the subtleness of her challenging looks at Amy that caused Celeste concern.
Josh, thankfully, didn’t appear to pick up on anything. For most of the evening he chatted to his colleague and his wife, who were also software engineers, about some new prototype about to be released.
When she could, Celeste cut the evening short.
Once in the car, Robin, to Celeste’s surprise, seemed content to sit quietly.
When they pulled up outside her hotel, Celeste reached over Robin opened the passenger door and quietly said, “Out.”
Robin looked at Celeste intently for a moment before slapping her hard across the face.
Shocked, Celeste put her hand to her face. Looking confused, she asked, “Why?”
“That, my friend, is from your brother, for fucking his wife.”
Celeste rubbed her cheek. “How did you know?”
Robin grimaced. “Well,” she replied. “Let’s say it’s the fact that your little plaything seethed the entire evening?” She half smiled. “And the night we spent together you called me Amy.” She laughed when Celeste’s eyes widened. “Oh don’t worry, your brother, the fool, doesn’t have any idea, yet, that you two are lovesick puppies. But it won’t take him long to figure it out if you don’t show a little more discretion and learn to hide it better.”
Robin leaned across the seat. Bringing her face close to Celeste’s, she whispered, “I really, really like you, Celeste. When you tire of her, give me a call. There is a real spark between us.”
Robin kissed Celeste softly on the mouth then got out of the car.
Moving her jaw, Celeste watched Robin swing her hips for all she was worth.
†
Shaken out of her memory by Amy trying to pull out of her arms, Celeste refused to let her go.
Amy leaned in and nipped Celeste’s bottom lip, hard.
Celeste yelped but kept Amy close. “I was confused and drunk, Amy. It was a mistake.”
“When?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“When?” Amy insisted as she tried to pull out of Celeste’s arms.
“Before New York,” Celeste replied, holding Amy tight. “Before we a
greed.”
Relief filled Celeste when she felt Amy relax a little.
“She’s Alex’s friend. She would have been with him this weekend had he been here.”
Amy stilled.
“There’s nothing between us.”
“Is that so,” Amy said, eyeing Celeste. “Something tells me that she wouldn’t agree with you on that one.”
“There’s nothing.”
“She wants you.”
“But I don’t want her.”
Amy looked at Celeste. Her eyes closed briefly and she whispered, “Maybe you don’t want her…right now.” She shook head. “Why am I torturing myself?” she said, sounding confused. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does.” Celeste placed her hands on either side of Amy’s head. “Listen to me, it matters. You matter. Believe me, there has been no one else.” Celeste brought Amy’s mouth to her and kissed her. Immediately, she felt the fight leave Amy.
They kissed intensely.
As if needing to restake her claim, Amy pulled Celeste’s top out of her shorts and ran her hand urgently up and down her back before cupping her breasts.
Celeste groaned when Amy said, “Inside. Now!”
†
Surprised that the front door was open, Irene entered the house carrying plant cuttings for Amy. She made her way through the house to the garden, stopping in the kitchen to put the cuttings on the work surface.
About to shout out hello, Irene was surprised when she looked out the patio doors and saw Amy and Celeste in the backyard, arguing. Frowning, she watched.
Irene couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she could tell that it was an intense argument. She watched her daughter peel off her garden gloves and yell something at Celeste.
Unsure what to do, Irene watched them continue to argue, until, unable to believe her eyes, she saw Amy slap Celeste hard across the face. Irene started toward the door, only to stop when Celeste pulled Amy into her arms. She moved again when Amy tried to pull away, but Celeste held her tight, and let out a gasp when Celeste kissed her. Stunned, her hand flew to her mouth when her daughter kissed Celeste with a hunger that astounded her.
Swiftly, Irene turned her back on them and left the house. She got into her car and sat for a moment trying to gather her thoughts. Her baby girl. My God, she thought in shock, Amy with Celeste!
Irene rested her head on the steering wheel. She had always thought that Amy and Josh were an extremely happy couple and never once thought there was a problem with their marriage. To see Amy kiss Celeste like that completely floored her. Why? she thought. Why has this happened, and how long has it been going on?
Feeling a sense of dread wash through her, Irene couldn’t believe her daughter and Celeste were… She couldn’t bring herself to put a name to it. Needing time to think, she started the car and drove to the beach.
Watching waves crash against the rocks, Irene decided she needed to find out what was going on. The best place to start, she thought, was with Celeste. She knew, after speaking to Camille, that she was working this evening. Whether Celeste liked it or not, Irene decided she was going to pay her a visit.
†
After a few pleasantries with Celeste, Irene got right to the point. “This morning, I saw you and Amy together.” She hesitated. “You kissed.”
Celeste sat back in her chair. When told she had a visitor, the last person she expected to see was Irene.
Irene continued, “To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I’ve always thought Josh and Amy were happy. It never entered my head that she needed something outside her marriage with a man, never mind,” she stopped, looked at Celeste and added gently, “a woman.”
Feeling extremely uncomfortable, Celeste lifted her coffee cup and drank from it.
Looking solemn, Irene asked, “What’s going on Celeste?”
Gathering her thoughts, Celeste continued to drink her coffee.
Irene waited.
Celeste knew she owed Irene some kind of explanation and decided to be frank. “We’re involved.”
Irene sat back. “When? Why?”
Celeste wished she could spare Irene this. Over the last few months Amy had confided about her past, about how difficult it was not having her mother in her life. She knew they were building a relationship and was only too aware how much Amy loved getting to know her younger sisters.
“We’ve been together for a few months,” Celeste replied. “Why? Well, we’ve been,” she paused when Irene’s face paled, “we’ve been attracted to each other from the beginning.”
“I didn’t even know you were gay.” Irene said. Her eyes narrowed. “How did this happen?”
“Irene, this has not been easy for either of us. If I told you how hard we tried to fight it…” Celeste looked at Irene intently. “I haven’t been home in four years, mostly in order to try to put some distance between us. But, when I came back, it…well…” Celeste struggled, not wanting to explain too fully. “We couldn’t stop it.”
“Four years ago?” Irene said astonished. “And now?”
Celeste frowned. She looked at her pager when it buzzed. “It seemed simple. A brief affair would burn it out.” She stood. “I need to go.”
Irene grabbed Celeste’s arm and asked, “And for you, Celeste. Has it burned itself out for you?”
Surprised by the softness in Irene’s tone, Celeste looked at the older woman.
Irene sighed then asked with a note of sincerity, “Are you in love with Amy?”
Celeste meant to shake her head and say no, but instead she nodded. She said slowly in recognition of the truth, “Yes…yes, I’ve been in love with Amy for a very long time.”
Irene looked at her intently. “And Amy?”
“I don’t know how she feels.”
“Does she know how you feel?”
Celeste looked at Irene quizzically.
“Have you told her?”
“No,” Celeste replied. “And she doesn’t want to know.” She picked up her empty coffee cup and crumpled it. “We agreed this would happen for a brief time only. Amy has it planned out. Soon it will be over.” She looked down at Irene and exhaled deeply. “I know you must think that I am an appalling person. Josh is my brother. Believe me, Irene, I had no choice. I love Amy and I…couldn’t fight it any longer.”
“I understand, Celeste,” Irene said, looking at her with a pained expression. “I understand only too well. I still carry the scars from decisions I’ve made.” Still holding Celeste’s arm, she asked, “But if you knew you felt this way, why didn’t you continue to stay away? Why come back?”
Celeste’s eyebrows drew together. “I couldn’t stay away forever. I have plans. And,” she hesitated, “when I came back, I had convinced myself that it had passed. I didn’t recognize that it was love.”
“What are you going to do now?”
Celeste’s voice broke slightly and raw pain flashed across her eyes when she replied quietly, “What else, but stick to the arrangement.”
Turning, Celeste walked away from Irene.
Chapter 36
It was early evening and Amy was running late. She had promised Maggie that she would quit early. Her cousin was taking the twins camping this weekend and the boys were barely able to contain their excitement at the idea of camping
Amy felt a twinge of guilt. Josh was in Seattle for a few weeks. Although her workload was heavy, the reality was that her client wouldn’t be in town until next week. Unable to resist the opportunity to spend a few days with Celeste, she had let her cousin think that she needed to work this weekend.
Standing at her car, Amy searched through her bag for her car keys. She scratched her head; she could have sworn that she had picked them up from the office. Emptying the contents out on the ground, she searched through the pile.
A hand tapped her shoulder.
Losing her balance, Amy toppled. Sprawled against the car, she looked up to see her mother.
“For Go
d’s sake, Irene,” Amy said. “You almost gave me a heart attack. What are you doing here?”
“Amy, we need to talk,” Irene replied, helping Amy up.
Looking down, Amy saw all her things scattered around her feet. Sighing, she bent down to gather them up. Packing her shoulder bag hurriedly, she promised herself that she was going to stop using bags that could easily hide small countries. Collecting the last item, she asked. “Is everything okay? There’s nothing wrong with Bruce or the girls is there?”
“No. Everyone is okay,” Irene hesitated. “It’s about you and Celeste, actually.”
Standing slowly, Amy stared wide-eyed at her mother.
Blood pounding in her ears, her mind worked frantically. Oh my God, she knows! How does she know? What does she know? Who else knows?
“The park is close by. Let’s find a quiet spot there and talk,” Irene said gently.
Stunned, Amy followed her mother as she headed quickly toward the park.
After they settled on a park bench, Irene, always a straight talker, explained how she knew. Amy sat quietly and listened. Unable to make eye contact, she looked straight ahead. Color periodically stained then drained from her face as Irene explained what she witnessed in Amy’s backyard.
Head bowed, Amy felt ashamed. Her jaw dropped fully when her mother told her that she had met with Celeste.
Not ready to talk to Irene about Celeste, Amy asked her mother for the first time, “What happened between you and dad?”
Irene’s jaw slackened in surprise. She realized that her daughter had never really asked her about her marriage. Why now, she wasn’t sure. “Amy, we were young, so very young. I was only fifteen when I fell pregnant with you, and I was only sixteen when we married. I was a wee lassie. I didn’t know my own mind. What child does at that age?” She shook her head. “There was an extreme amount of pressure put on me to marry.” Irene ran her fingers through Amy’s hair. “Don’t get me wrong, Amy. Your dad was a good man. Not much older than me and he stood by me the whole time.”
Irene looked at Amy and felt a surge of pride that they had produced such a beautiful daughter. “The one good thing to come from our marriage was you, jellybean.” She reached out and touched Amy’s chin. “But like all childhood crushes, it quickly passed. I wasn’t in love with him, Amy. And as time passed, I loved your dad more as a friend.”
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