Denial

by Jackie Kennedy

  Groaning loudly, Amy’s eyes lost focus then closed.

  Celeste pressed into Amy. This was a relatively new position they had found. “Amy look at me,” she whispered.

  Amy slowly opened her eyes, and reaching up, cupped Celeste’s breasts. Celeste smiled knowingly. The blonde was fascinated with her breasts and whenever they made love, to Celeste’s amusement, she gave them her full attention. She particularly liked to knead them when coming.

  Pressing down, Celeste groaned. She loved this, adored the sensation of sensitive wet flesh against sensitive wet flesh. She wasn’t surprised anymore by how quickly she was ready to come. Often, just touching Amy was enough to make her ready. Her breathing shallow, Celeste slid back and forth. Her eyes rolled back when Amy moaned loudly. Breathing heavily, she watched as Amy built to orgasm.

  Gasping, Amy whispered, “I missed you.” She stroked Celeste’s nipple. “I couldn’t think of anything else since I woke up this morning,” her breathing deepened, “but being with you like this.”

  Celeste listened as Amy told her how much she needed her, needed this. She adored her love chat. Amy often mentioned how it took her by surprise, her need to vocalize her desire for Celeste during their lovemaking.

  Watching Amy, Celeste smiled, knowing that over the last few months, Amy was discovering much about herself.

  The fire building inside her, Celeste let out a low moan and, needing release, pressed into Amy and brought them both to orgasm.

  Slowly, Celeste slipped off Amy and lay next to her. Stretching out, she sighed luxuriously, then pulled Amy to her and hugged her tightly.

  Amy laughed, and cupping Celeste’s face, whispered, “I have some fresh food and a few appetizers laid out in the kitchen for us, you know.”

  Celeste raised her eyebrows. “Well, I don’t know about you,” she teased, “but I’ve worked up an appetite.” She let Amy go and leapt out of bed. Standing, she held out her hand. “Let’s go eat, I’m famished.”

  Amy looked Celeste over. “Later,” she said seductively. Sitting up, she pulled Celeste to her. “We’ll eat later. Right now,” she whispered as she kissed Celeste’s shoulder, “I’m hungry for something else.”

  It was much later before Celeste convinced Amy to leave the bed.

  †

  The next day, Celeste and Amy spent the morning in bed, chatting and making love. By late afternoon, Amy insisted that Celeste model for her. She had, over the last few months, talked Celeste into allowing her to sketch her in various positions.

  Smiling, Celeste stretched out, only too happy to indulge Amy’s every whim.

  Eventually, in the early evening, Celeste coaxed Amy out of bed, and out for a stroll.

  Outside, the beach was quiet, and the evening sky was bright blue with no clouds.

  “Have you spoken to your mom?” Celeste asked as they walked along the beach.

  Amy looked at her, and folding her arms, replied, “Yes. But I’m not ready to talk about it.”

  Celeste nodded.

  They walked along the beach for a while. “Susan called me yesterday.”

  Removing her flip-flops, Amy held them in one hand. “How is she?” she asked as they walked.

  “She’s fine,” Celeste replied, taking Amy’s free hand. “They’ve set a date.”

  “Oh,” Amy said in surprise. Looking around, she pulled her hand away then placed a flip-flop in each. Suddenly taking a great interest in the water pooling around her feet with each step, she asked, “When?”

  Celeste stopped walking.

  Amy stopped beside her, and not looking at her, flicked wet sand with her toe.

  Trying to hide her irritation, Celeste kept her voice even, “The beach is empty.”

  “I’m sorry,” Amy responded, trailing her toe along the sand. Not looking at Celeste, she added, “I can’t.”

  After a moment, Celeste sighed and nodded. “I know.” She walked on.

  Amy quickly followed. “When are they getting married?”

  “In a few months,” Celeste replied. “But Ritchie isn’t happy, because the date coincides with the rugby world cup.”

  “He likes rugby?” Amy asked in surprise.

  “Yes.”

  “I never got a chance to tell him I’m a rugby fan.” Amy chuckled. “I think we were still working through his teenage angst that night.” She looked at Celeste and grinned. “Maybe he was saving that little nugget for the next session…I mean…eh…the next time we met.”

  Celeste laughed, and not able to resist, pulled Amy to her. “Felt like a therapy session did it?”

  Amy smiled and nodded. “A bit.” She looked at Celeste. “He can really talk, you know.” She winked. “I mean, really talk!”

  Celeste leaned her forehead against Amy’s and teased, “It’s a tough world out there, kiddo.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Amy replied. Casting her eyes around, she pulled out of Celeste’s arms and walked on. “Did I tell you that Maggie’s thinking about proposing to Sean?”

  “No!” Celeste answered, walking alongside. No longer surprised that Amy confided in her, she asked, “I bet you told her that you thought it was too soon?”

  Amy stopped walking and stared at Celeste, her mouth hung open slightly. “Am I that transparent?” she managed eventually.

  “I hate to break it to you,” Celeste said as she reached out and smoothed windswept hair from Amy’s face. “But when it comes to those sorts of things you’re a bit old-fashioned.”

  “Hell, no way am I old-fashioned.”

  “Really?” Celeste raised an eyebrow challengingly. “I bet you told her to give it a year. Settle in. See what he’s like first.”

  Amy’s eyes widened. “How do you know that?”

  “I bet you even went as far as to say that the reason she should wait a year was because she was impulsive by nature and she should listen to the voice of reason. Your reason.”

  “I…Well…I didn’t say that exactly. Not in so many words.” Amy scowled. “How did you know?”

  Celeste laughed then winked at Amy, before walking on.

  “I didn’t say it like that,” Amy said, catching up. “I just asked why she was in such a rush.”

  “You didn’t tell her to wait?”

  “Okay,” Amy said. “Okay. Maybe, I did say she should wait.” She squeezed her thumb and forefinger together, “a wee bit.” She pulled on Celeste’s arm, for her to stop. “What’s wrong with a little patience,” she asked. She threw out her arms. “Why is everybody in such a rush?” She stared at Celeste. “For all we know, he might be a complete fruitcake.”

  “What? And Maggie isn’t?” Celeste asked, laughter danced across her eyes. “Admit it, Amy. You don’t want her to rush.”

  “Why aren’t you being supportive,” Amy huffed then folded her arms.

  “Because,” Celeste replied as she reached out and rubbed Amy’s arms, “Maggie could line a runway with the number of lovers she’s had. She’s been in the dating game for a long, long time.” She pulled Amy to her. “She knows better than anyone what the real thing is when it comes along.” Just like I do, and just like you would, if you opened your eyes.

  At that moment, Celeste desperately wanted to kiss Amy but knew she would literally pass out if she tried. Increasingly, over the last few months, Amy was wary of them being seen together in public, and worried often about how tactile they were. It amused Celeste that no matter how on guard Amy was, she was unable to hide the hunger in her eyes when they were together. Celeste knew that sometimes the intensity of that hunger frightened Amy.

  “So, you think she shouldn’t wait?” Amy asked.

  The need to kiss her was strong. Celeste sighed. “Let her do what she wants,” she replied. “Maggie’s a big girl.”

  “Josh doesn’t think she should rush either.”

  To stop herself from kissing Amy, Celeste stretched. To her amusement, whenever they debated, when Amy was pushed into a corner, she would occasionally defend he
r point of view by saying that Josh thought that way also.

  “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Celeste replied then walked on.

  “You think we’re wrong?” Amy asked, walking alongside.

  “Not necessarily, but I think Maggie knows her own mind.”

  After a moment, Amy placed her hand on Celeste’s elbow. Celeste watched uncertainty show in Amy’s eyes. She caught her bottom lip and bit it lightly.

  Smiling reassuringly, Celeste took Amy’s arm and folded it through hers.

  “Do you think I should encourage her?” Amy asked.

  Celeste walked on, in contemplation. “I think you should give Maggie whatever support she asks for.”

  Amy looked at Celeste then nodding, said, “Maybe you’re right.”

  Celeste smiled at her. “Trust her, Amy.”

  Amy smiled back. “Okay.”

  Holding Amy’s arm tightly, Celeste headed for a quiet bay she knew. When they arrived, she rested against sheltered rocks and pulled Amy to her. Sliding down the rock, she wrapped her arms around Amy. They settled to watch the herons and egrets stalk the beach.

  “I love this place,” Amy said. “This is a magical place to watch the world go by.” She looked over her shoulder and, eyes glowing, said, “It’s especially beautiful today.”

  Celeste nodded. Amy smiled then snuggled in.

  Hidden by the rock, they watched a dog and its owner run past. Amy whispered, “Do you know, that I didn’t know the inside joke about Bud?” Wide-eyed, she turned her head to look at Celeste. “Nobody told me that the family dog was a ‘talker.’”

  Celeste snuggled her head into Amy’s neck and buried her laughter.

  “Just after I moved here I went for a walk along the beach at your folks, and he tagged along. I didn’t know that, when he wanted to play, he would show me by gnashing his teeth and growling.” Amy tried pushing Celeste out of her neck. “Most dogs just drop the ball and wag their tails.”

  Laughing, Celeste buried her head further into Amy’s neck.

  “And,” Amy said as she pushed Celeste gently from the crook of her neck. “Nobody told me,” she bracketed her fingers, “that the more excited he got, the louder he ‘talked,’ and the more teeth he displayed.” She chuckled. “So, when he dropped the ball in front of me and I picked it up to throw it, he started gnashing his teeth like a deranged loony!”

  Celeste laughed so hard her body was shaking and she had tears in her eyes.

  Amy laughed. “I didn’t know that it was his act. I didn’t know that he was saying, ‘Yeah, yeah, lady. C’mon, hurry up and throw the ball.’ Instead, I translated it as ‘move and I’ll kill you.’ So, I didn’t move.” She grabbed Celeste’s hand and brought it close to her heart. “I thought my heart might beat out of my chest. I stood frozen with my arm in the air for ages until Bud got fed up and wandered off.”

  Eventually, controlling her laugher, Celeste cupped Amy’s cheek. “I can’t believe that nobody told you.” She tenderly kissed one cheek, then the other, before staring deeply into her eyes. “God, I adore you.”

  Chapter 38

  That evening Celeste insisted on cooking for Amy. This was a pleasure often denied them. Their times together tended to be too short, and only sometimes would Amy indulge Celeste and allow her to cook for her.

  “Sit,” Celeste said when Amy entered the kitchen. She pointed to a kitchen stool at the breakfast bar next to where she was cooking. She poured a glass of red wine. “I’m cooking for you tonight,” she told Amy, handing her a glass.

  “Don’t you want me to help?”

  Celeste smiled. “I want you to sit there and talk to me.”

  “Just talk?” Amy asked, seductively “Not touch?”

  Celeste lifted her eyebrows. “For now.”

  Amy stuck out her bottom lip.

  “Put that away,” Celeste said, eyes dancing. “Don’t you want to know what’s cooking?”

  “Yes,” Amy replied, then sipped her wine.

  “Tonight, I’m going to whip up an extravaganza of risotto and nuggets of langoustine tails, followed by a to-die-for chocolate dessert.”

  Amy’s eyes opened wide. “I don’t have anything like that here.”

  “I know,” Celeste replied, opening the fridge. “I brought the stuff I need with me.”

  “Oh,” Amy responded. A look of pleasure crossed her face as she sipped her wine. “I wish I could cook,” she said, watching Celeste. “I can barely boil an egg.” She sucked on her bottom lip for a moment. “Maybe, I should stop being a takeaway queen and sign up for a cookery class.”

  “Maybe,” Celeste replied as she stirred the risotto. “Doesn’t Maggie do most of the cooking?”

  “Yeah, but she’s not much better than me.” Amy smiled. “And fortunately, the kids don’t have much taste, so they don’t notice how bad our cooking is.” She laughed. “We don’t have to force feed them just yet.”

  “I thought Josh cooked?”

  “He does, but he’s not much better than me either. The chicken he cooked the other night was so tough, it asked me if I wanted to fight.”

  Celeste laughed. “You might not be able to cook, but you are one helluva artist.” She looked at Amy. “How’s the painting coming along?”

  Amy swallowed a mouthful of wine, then licking her lips put the glass down. “Well,” she replied, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I bought a six-foot canvas.”

  “Why?” Celeste asked, as she focused on the risotto she was stirring.

  “Because, I want to give you something as a parting—”

  Celeste looked up sharply, and not wanting to hear it said, “Don’t.” Her eyes pleaded. “Please, not tonight.”

  Amy looked at the brunette then nodded. She picked up her glass and twirled the wine for a while. “I got it because I want to paint you naked.”

  Celeste stopped stirring the risotto. “You’re joking?”

  Amy shook her head and pointed at the risotto. “Keep stirring.”

  “I’m flattered,” Celeste said as she stirred. “But really?” She stopped stirring and stared at Amy in disbelief. “Are you crazy?”

  “Of course not,” Amy replied then laughed.

  “Don’t you think that it would be seriously wrong for you to have a painting of me draped over something,” she looked down at herself, “naked?”

  “The bed,” Amy responded with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

  “What?” Celeste asked, in confusion.

  “I want to paint you buck naked, stretched out on the bed.” The tip of Amy’s tongue slid out and touched her top lip. “I’d paint you lying there, with no inhibition, disheveled from our lovemaking, heavy-eyed, full-breasted…sated.”

  Celeste stared at Amy then blew out air before shaking her top, allowing some cold air to circulate.

  Amy laughed. “Feeling the heat?”

  “Yes,” Celeste replied. Walking around the breakfast bar, she took Amy in her arms, and kissed her passionately.

  “Isn’t risotto tricky to cook?” Amy mumbled against Celeste’s lips.

  “Mmmm,” Celeste answered, letting Amy go.

  Celeste returned to the stove and stirred the risotto before throwing in the langoustines. “I love the idea of you painting me.” She looked at Amy as she worked. “But it’s dangerous.”

  “I know. But, I want to.” Amy looked at Celeste for a few moments. “You’re a painter’s dream, you know. You’re a beautiful, sassy, sexy Goddess.”

  Celeste stared at Amy, then looked at her wineglass. “It’s only one glass you’ve had so far, right?”

  Amy laughed and held up her glass. “So far.” Sipping her wine, she gave Celeste a sultry look. “Let’s play our game,” she said. “I thought up some more things I like.”

  “More?” Celeste’s lips twitched. “Okay.”

  “You first.”

  Celeste looked around then held up the wooden spoon. “I like kitchen utensils.”

  “That’
s lame, Celeste!”

  Celeste laughed. “I know, but I’m not in the zone yet.” She eyed Amy playfully. “Anyway, just go with the flow.”

  “Okay,” Amy replied, wiggling her eyebrows.

  Celeste smiled. “I like…uhmmm…sleeping out, under the stars, in the desert, in a sleeping bag, with the wind howling around me.”

  Amy gave Celeste a cheeky grin. “I like sunrises, then I like to sleep late.”

  “I like sun downs,” Celeste responded, grinning. “I like seeing the sun set over different horizons.”

  “Hmmm,” Amy replied. Over the lip of her wineglass she eyed Celeste. Sipping some wine, she put the glass down and circled the rim with her finger. “On your own, Ms. Cameron?”

  Their eyes locking, Celeste replied as she stirred. “Maybe.”

  Amy smiled, then caught her bottom lip and thought for a moment. “I like making hot drinks on cold nights.”

  “I like taking cold swims on hot nights.”

  Amy picked up her glass. “On your own Ms. Cameron?”

  “Maybe,” Celeste responded, then smiled fully.

  Amy eyed Celeste for a moment, then raising her eyebrows said provocatively, “I like making love with a brunette who has a body to die for.”

  Surprised, Celeste sucked in air and held it for a moment. “Isn’t it my mind you’re supposed to adore?” she asked eventually.

  Amy smiled seductively.

  “Jeez, Amy, and here I was thinking that all this time it was my conversation that titillated you.”

  Amy reached for her.

  Celeste pulled away and growled playfully. “Amy, if you want to eat tonight, you’d better stop teasing me, or I’ll switch this off and we’ll finish,” she pointed to the door, “in bed.”

  Sitting back, Amy put her hand to her mouth and pretended to zip it. She picked up her wineglass. “Not another word.”

  Celeste lifted the spoon to Amy’s mouth. “Taste.”

  Amy’s eyes widened with pleasure as she chewed. “Mmmm. It’s delicious.”

  “Let’s eat,” Celeste said. She switched off the stove and served up their meal.