The Christmas Bride

by Susan Mallery

  “Badly,” she admitted. “The horse and I never figured out how to talk to each other.”

  “That’s because horses don’t talk,” Pepper told her, then turned to As’ad. “Kayleen falls off a lot. I try not to laugh, because I don’t want her to hurt herself, but it’s kinda funny.”

  “For you,” Kayleen murmured.

  The main door to the suite opened and a tall, gray-haired man strode into the suite.

  “As’ad. There you are. Oh. You’re having dinner with your family.”

  “Father,” As’ad said as he rose.

  Father? Something nagged at the back of Kayleen’s mind, before bursting free. Father? As in the king?

  She jumped to her feet and motioned for the girls to do the same. Once they were standing she didn’t know what to do next. Bow? Curtsy?

  As’ad glanced at her, then the girls. “Father, this is Kayleen, the girls’ nanny.” Then he introduced each of the sisters. “Ladies, this is my father, King Mukhtar.”

  Three mouths dropped open. Kayleen kept hers shut by sheer force of will.

  The king nodded graciously. “I am delighted to meet all of you. Welcome to the royal palace of El Deharia. May you live long, with happiness and health in abundance. May these strong walls always protect you and provide solace.”

  Kayleen swallowed. As greetings went, it was a really good one.

  “Thank you so much for your hospitality,” she murmured, still trying to accept the fact that she was in the presence of a real live king. Which meant As’ad really was a prince.

  She knew he held the title, but she didn’t think of him as royal or powerful. Yet he was.

  The king motioned to the table. “May I?”

  Kayleen felt her eyes widen. “Of course, Your Highness. Please. We weren’t expecting you, so the meal isn’t exactly…traditional.”

  The king took a seat. As’ad motioned for them to resume theirs. Mukhtar studied the various serving bowls, then scooped some macaroni and cheese onto a plate.

  “I haven’t had this in years.”

  “It was my pick,” Pepper told him. “It’s my favorite. They make it really good here. Sometimes, at the orphanage, Kayleen would sneak us into the kitchen and make the kind in a box. That’s good, too.”

  The king smiled. “So my chef has competition.”

  “Not really,” Kayleen told him. “His food is amazing. I’m honored just to eat it.”

  As’ad looked at his father. “In an effort to fill her day, Kayleen went down to the kitchen and offered to help. It did not go well.”

  Kayleen felt herself flush. “He was a little insulted. There was a crash. I’m guessing he threw stuff.”

  “Was that the night my soufflé was burned?” the king asked.

  “I hope not,” Kayleen told him.

  He smiled. “So what conversation did I interrupt?” he asked.

  “We were talking about horses,” Nadine told him. “We rode and took lessons at the orphanage.”

  The king looked at his son. “Horses. I believe we have a stable, do we not?”

  As’ad glanced at the girls. “The king is teasing. The palace stables are world famous.”

  Dana leaned toward him. “Do you have horses that go fast?”

  “Faster than would be safe for a novice rider.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “If we took more lessons, we would be experts.”

  “Exactly,” As’ad told her.

  The king nodded. “I agree. All young princesses should know how to ride. I will speak to the head groom myself and arrange lessons.” He glanced at Kayleen. “For all of you.”

  “Thank you,” she murmured, because it was expected.

  “You do not look excited,” As’ad whispered to her.

  “Pepper wasn’t kidding about me falling. It happens all the time.”

  “Perhaps you need more personal instruction.”

  She stared into his eyes as he spoke and found herself getting lost in his gaze. It was as if he had an energy field that pulled her closer. She had the oddest feeling he was going to touch her—and she was going to like him touching her.

  “Riding is an enjoyable way to get exercise,” the king said.

  “Has anyone asked the horse about that?”

  She spoke without thinking—something that had often gotten her in trouble back at the convent. There was a moment of silence, then the king laughed.

  “Very good,” he said. “Excellent. I like her, As’ad. This one may stay.”

  “I agree,” As’ad said, still looking at her in a way that made her thighs feel distinctly weak. “She will stay.”

  Would she? Kayleen wasn’t so sure. She still had her life plan to fulfill and that included leaving El Deharia in a matter of months. A situation complicated by As’ad and her promise to the girls.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  After the king left and dinner was finished, Kayleen sent the girls back to their suite while she lingered behind to speak with As’ad.

  “There are just a couple of things I need to discuss with you,” she told him when they were alone.

  “I’m learning that with you, there always are.”

  She wasn’t sure what he meant by that, so decided to ignore the comment. “It’s only about six weeks until Christmas,” she said. “We have to start planning. I don’t know what happens here at the palace, but this is the girls’ first Christmas without either of their parents. We have to do something.”

  He studied her for a long time. “El Deharia is a very open country. All faiths are celebrated here. No one will object if you wish to set up a tree in your suite.”

  “It’s more than that,” she said, telling herself there was no reason to be afraid, even though As’ad was much taller than her and having to look up to meet his gaze gave her a crick in her neck. “You need to participate.”

  He looked shocked. “I do not.”

  She’d had a feeling he would be difficult.

  “You’ve always had family,” she pointed out. “Your brothers, your aunt, your father. These girls have no one. The holidays are going to be sad and scary and they’re going to feel so alone.”

  Kayleen spoke from experience. She still remembered waking up on Christmas morning and feeling an ache in her chest. No matter how many presents had been donated to the orphanage, no matter how the nuns tried, there hadn’t been family.

  She hadn’t even had the dream that a wonderful couple would find her and want to adopt her. She had plenty of relatives—just no one who wanted her.

  “They need traditions, both old and new,” she continued. “They need to feel welcome and loved.”

  His expression tightened. “Then you will take care of that.”

  “But you’re their father now.”

  “I am someone who agreed to let them live here. Kayleen, these girls are your responsibility, not mine. Do not cross this line with me.”

  “I don’t understand. You were so great with them at dinner. Are you telling me that was just an act? That you don’t care?”

  “I have compassion. I have honor. That will be enough.”

  Was he kidding? “That’s not enough. It will never be enough. We’re talking about children, As’ad. Lost, lonely children. They deserve more. They deserve to be loved.” She wasn’t just talking about the children—she was talking about herself. The difference was she’d already given up her dreams.

  “Then they will have to find that love in you.”

  She took a step back. Her throat tightened and her cheeks were hot. “You’re saying you don’t plan to love them?”

  He might as well have said he was going to kill them in their sleep!

  “I will honor my responsibilities. In doing so, it is necessary for me to be strong. Emotion is weakness. You are a woman—I don’t expect you to understand. Just trust me, it is so. I will see to the girls’ needs. You can take care of their hearts.”

  She didn’t know what to say or where to begin to argue with h
im. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard,” she told him. “Love isn’t weakness. It’s strength and power. The ability to give means you can be more, not less.”

  He actually smiled at her. “Your passion is a testament to your caring. That’s excellent.”

  “So it’s okay for me to have emotions, but not you? Because you’re a man?”

  “More than a man,” he reminded her. “A prince. I have responsibilities for others. It is my duty to stay strong, to not be swayed by something as changeable as feelings.”

  “Without compassion, there can be no judgment,” she snapped. “Without feelings, you’re only a machine. A good ruler feels for his people.”

  “You cannot understand.”

  “And you can’t mean this.”

  “I assure you, I do.” He took her arm and walked her to the door. “Celebrate Christmas however you wish. You have my permission.”

  “Can I have your head on a stick instead?” she muttered as she jerked free and walked out into the hallway.

  Of all the stupid, annoying things she’d ever heard. He wasn’t going to feel anything because he was a prince? But it was okay for her because she was a woman?

  “No way,” she told herself as she headed back to her own rooms. “Something is going to change around here and it isn’t going to be me.”

  * * *

  “It’s so egotistical,” Kayleen ranted the next morning as she paced the length of her living room. “So two hundred years ago. He gets to be in charge because he’s a man? What does that make the rest of us? Chattel? I’m so angry, I want to throw him in the dungeon until he begs. I’m smart. I’m capable. And I have a heart. Why can’t he see that emotions give us depth? They define us. Are all men so stupid? I have to tell you, Lina, the more I see of the world, the more I long for the convent.”

  Her friend smiled at her. “Is it possible your energy and intensity on this topic is one of the reasons you weren’t called to serve in that way?”

  “That’s what I was always told when I was growing up. I was too passionate about things. Too willing to go my own way. It’s just when I see an injustice, I can’t stop to think. I act.”

  “As you did with Tahir.”

  Kayleen remembered the tall chieftain who had wanted to take the girls. “Exactly.”

  “Life does not always move on your timetable,” Lina said. “You need to be patient.”

  “Don’t act impulsively,” Kayleen said, knowing she’d heard the same advice a thousand times before.

  “Exactly.” Lina patted the seat next to her. “As’ad is a product of his world. His father taught all his sons to avoid emotion. To think logically. While my brother grieved after his wife died, he chose not to show that to the boys. In front of them, he went on, as if unmoved by her passing. In my opinion it was the wrong lesson.”

  Kayleen agreed. “Because of that, As’ad won’t care?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “He’s not stupid. Why can’t he see the truth all around him?”

  “He has been trained for a specific purpose. His is a life of service, in a way, but with ultimate power and ego. You haven’t met his brothers, but they are all like him. Strong, determined men who see little virtue in love. It’s probably why none of them have married.”

  “But love is strength and a great gift,” Kayleen said as she sat on the sofa. “He has to love the girls. They need that. They deserve it. He would be better because of it. Happier. Besides, there’s a ticking clock here.”

  Lina frowned. “You’re still leaving?”

  “I can go back on my twenty-fifth birthday. That’s less than four months away.”

  “But you have the girls now.”

  “I know.” Kayleen hadn’t worked that part out. “They’ll get settled and then As’ad can bring in someone else.”

  She spoke bravely, but the words sounded a little feeble, even to her.

  “I’m surprised,” Lina admitted. “When you asked As’ad to adopt the girls, I thought you were taking on the responsibility with him. This isn’t like you, Kayleen. To retreat from the world.”

  “The world isn’t always a fun place. I want to go back to where I belong.” Where she’d grown up. It was the only home she’d ever known. “I can teach there.” That was the deal. She had to stay away until she was twenty-five. Then she could return to the convent school forever.

  “You can be a mother here.”

  “Not really. It’s just a game. When the girls are older, As’ad will have no use for me. Besides, if he doesn’t want to get involved, maybe I can take them with me.”

  “I assume my nephew doesn’t know about your plan to leave.”

  “I haven’t mentioned it.”

  “When will you?”

  “Soon. It’s not as if he’ll miss me or anything.”

  Kayleen had always wondered what it would be like to be missed by someone. By a man. To be cared for. Loved, even.

  “Things change,” Lina told her. “You have a responsibility to the girls.”

  “I know.”

  “Would you walk away from them so easily?”

  Kayleen shook her head. “No. It won’t be easy. Sometimes I do think about staying.” She didn’t know what was right. Her plan had always been to go back. Being here with the three sisters had changed everything.

  Was Lina right? Did she, Kayleen, have a responsibility to the children? Should she give up her dreams for them? Could she go back later? When the girls were older?

  Three weeks ago, she’d known all the answers and now she knew none. Her instinct was to go talk to As’ad about all this. But that made no sense. He was a man who didn’t listen to his heart and she had always believed the truth could be found there.

  “My head is spinning. Enough about this. Let’s change the subject.”

  “All right.” Lina smiled slowly. “Hassan is coming here.”

  Kayleen stared at her friend. “The king of Bahania? The one you’ve been talking to all this time?”

  “I can’t believe it, either. I just… We were talking and he said he liked the sound of my laughter and now he’s coming here.”

  Kayleen hugged her. “That’s wonderful. I’m so happy. You’ve been shut up in this palace for years. Good for you.”

  “I’m scared,” Lina admitted. “I thought my life was all planned out. I helped my brother raise his sons, I have my charity work. I was waiting to be a great-aunt. Suddenly there’s this wonderful man offering me something I thought I’d lost. There are possibilities. Am I too old for possibilities?”

  “Never,” Kayleen said fiercely. “The heart is never too old. At least it isn’t in all those romantic movies.”

  “I hope not. I married young and I was so in love. Then he was killed and I never planned to love again. I’m the sister to the king. It’s difficult to date. After a while, I stopped wanting to. Then Hassan and I started talking and suddenly I’m alive again.” Lina took Kayleen’s hands. “I want this for you. I at least experienced falling in love when I was young, but you’ve never had that.”

  Kayleen squirmed. “I’m not good with men.”

  “You don’t try. How many dates did you go on before you gave up? Five? Six?”

  Kayleen cleared her throat, then pulled her hands free. “One and a half.”

  “You’re too young to lock yourself away in that convent school of yours.”

  “Because I would meet so many men here at the palace?”

  “You’d meet some. More than you would there. There are many young men in the palace. I would be happy to introduce you to one or two of them.”

  “I don’t know…  I work for As’ad. As nanny to his children.”

  “Why would he mind you dating?”

  “He wouldn’t.” Not that she enjoyed admitting that truth.

  “Then think about what I said. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to fall in love?”

  * * *

  As’ad looked up as his brother Qadir walked into his office. “I
must speak with Neil about keeping out people who don’t have appointments.”

  Qadir ignored that. “I am back from Paris, where the city is still beautiful, as are the women. You should have come with me. You have been locked up here working for far too long.”

  As’ad had spent two sleepless nights unable to rest for the need burning inside. Worse, when he closed his eyes, the woman he saw satisfying his ache was Kayleen. An impossible situation. The nanny and a virgin?

  “You are right, my brother,” he said as he rose and greeted Qadir. “I should have gone with you. There have been changes since you were last here.”

  “I heard.” Qadir settled on a corner of his desk. “Three daughters? What were you thinking?”

  “That I had been placed in an impossible situation and this was the easiest way out.”

  “I find that hard to believe. There had to be another solution.”

  “None was presented.”

  Qadir shook his head. “To raise children that are not your own. At least they are girls.”

  “There is the added advantage of our father now believing I am occupied with my new family and therefore cannot be expected to look for a wife.”

  “Lucky bastard.”

  “Indeed. Perhaps now he will focus more of his attention on you.”

  “He has already begun,” Qadir grumbled. “There is to be a state function in a few weeks. Several likely candidates are to be paraded before me, like very attractive cattle.”

  As’ad grinned. “I, of course, will be busy with my family.”

  * * *

  As’ad turned the corner to walk to his rooms and saw all three girls huddled by his door. They wore riding clothes and boots. When they saw him they ran to him.

  “You have to help!” Dana told him.

  “It’s terrible. Please!” Nadine begged.

  Pepper simply cried.

  He stared at the three of them. “What happened?”

  “We went riding,” Dana told him, her blue eyes wide and filled with fear and guilt. “We might have been gone longer than we were supposed to, but we were fine. We were only a little late. But Kayleen got worried and came after us, even though we had a groom with us. She went out by herself and she’s not back yet.”