The Christmas Bride

by Susan Mallery

  As’ad moved his fingers away. She opened her eyes and stared up at him.

  “I want to do that again,” she told him.

  He laughed. “So you enjoy the lovemaking?”

  “Who wouldn’t? Can that happen again? Can it happen now?”

  He rose onto his hands and knees. “As you wish, Kayleen. We will try another game. But a gentle one. I don’t want you to hurt later.”

  Later was a long time away, she thought as he settled between her legs and gently parted her curls.

  It was obvious he was going to kiss her there, which was shocking and something she probably should refuse. Except what he’d done before had been so amazing. Could this be as good?

  She sank back onto the bed and closed her eyes. A soft whisper of breath was her only warning, then his mouth pressed against her and his tongue touched her more intimately than she’d ever thought possible.

  It was like kissing, but a billion times better, she thought as all the air rushed from her lungs. The steady flick of his tongue was impossible to resist. She gave herself over to the sensation, to the tension that quickly tightened all her muscles. Despite the awkwardness of the position and her lack of experience, she found herself pushing toward the pleasure goal.

  She wanted that experience again. She wanted the waves, but this time from his tongue. She wanted him to push her higher and closer and she wanted it now!

  She found herself digging her heels into the bed as she pushed her body against him. Impatience battled with arousal. The journey was exquisite, but the destination was—

  He slipped a finger inside of her. The action was shocking enough to make her gasp. She waited for pain or pressure, but there was only the need to push down on that finger, to have him fill her.

  He continued to lick her, making her body tense more. Then he moved his finger in and out, matching the rhythm of his tongue, taking her up and up and up until she had no choice but to crash back to earth.

  The second journey down was even better than the first. She felt herself cry out and tried to stifle the noise. Her body shuddered as her release filled every cell and pleasured every nerve. It was too much. She hadn’t known that anything like this was possible.

  As’ad straightened, then moved next to her. He touched her all over, caressing, but perhaps reassuring. She stared into his dark eyes.

  “I didn’t know,” she whispered.

  “There is more.”

  That made her laugh. “Not possible.”

  “I will show you.”

  Would he? Could they explore this together? “I’d like that.”

  He stroked her face. “What is your wish, Kayleen? For me to leave now? You remain an innocent.”

  “Technically,” she murmured, although she knew a whole lot more than she had an hour ago. She gathered her courage and put her hand on his bare chest. His skin was smooth, his muscles hard. “Be in me.”

  “You are sure?”

  She smiled. “Very.”

  He pulled her into a sitting position, then stood beside the bed. After removing his slacks and briefs, he stood in front of her.

  She’d never seen a man naked before. Art really didn’t count. He was bigger than she’d expected.

  She stroked the length of him, liking the velvety smoothness of the skin and the way he felt like a rock underneath.

  “You’re not going to fit,” she told him as she wondered if women did to men what he had done to her. Touching with their mouths. Would that be nice?

  He chuckled and reached for his slacks. “It will fit.”

  He removed a square of foil, then sat on the bed. She was going to ask what he was doing, then remembered that the act itself had consequences. He was making sure she had nothing to worry about.

  She was about to ask him why he had a condom in his pocket, then he eased her onto her back and slipped between her legs.

  The position felt a little strange and she didn’t know what to do with her feet or her hands. Did she just lie there? Was she supposed to move? Should she keep quiet or did people talk?

  “This will hurt a little,” he warned. “You are prepared?”

  She nodded and braced herself.

  He smiled. “Perhaps you could pretend you are excited.”

  “What? Oh, sorry. I’m just nervous.”

  “Perhaps I can distract you.”

  He reached between her legs and began to rub her again. She immediately relaxed as the familiar tension started. If he kept that up for very long, she would come again.

  But before she could get far along the path, he stopped and she felt something hard pushing against her. She took a deep breath as he slowly, slowly filled her.

  The pressure was unfamiliar and a little uncomfortable, but not bad. There was more and more until at last he said, “I am in.”

  She opened her eyes and smiled at him. “I’m wild now.”

  He smiled in return. “It will take a little more for you to be wild, but this is a start. I would like you to touch me.”

  Oh. “All right,” she murmured, not sure where or how.

  She stroked the length of his arms, then put her hands on his back. He withdrew and pushed in again. This time she tilted her hips slightly, taking him more easily.

  By the fifth time, she didn’t have to think about the touching—it just happened on its own. And there was a subtle tension between her legs. Different from what happened before, but still compelling.

  She closed her eyes and lost herself in the rhythm of him making love to her, filling her, pushing deep inside of her, making her ache and want. He moved faster and his breathing increased. More and more until he groaned and was still.

  He murmured her name as he held her. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling the weight of him, a stretch in her hips, and knew that everything had changed forever.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Kayleen spent the following morning not sure what to think. Her evening with As’ad played over and over in her mind like a very naughty movie. Every time she remembered him touching her, she felt all squishy inside.

  She hadn’t expected to sleep, but after he’d gone back to his room, she’d fallen into her bed and the next thing she knew it was morning. She’d awakened happy and sore and just a little out of sorts. She didn’t regret what had happened, but she certainly felt…different.

  As’ad had been so great, she thought as she waved to the girls as they climbed into the Town Car that took them to school each day. He’d been gentle and patient and funny and sexy. He’d been everything she could have imagined a man being. More, she reminded herself. He was better than anything—or anyone—she could have imagined.

  And the whole being together thing had been amazing. Who had thought that up? Why hadn’t she understood before? Was this what her Mother Superior had meant about getting out in the world?

  Kayleen covered her mouth. She doubted that was exactly what the other woman had meant. Still, she understood now that there were possibilities. Things she’d never known about. Did she want to give up that kind of a relationship forever? Did she want to get married and have a family? Did she—

  “Good morning, Kayleen. How are you?”

  She looked up and saw Lina walking toward her. Kayleen had the sudden thought that the other woman knew. That everyone knew. It had to be obvious, didn’t it? Could they tell? Was her appearance different? Was there something in her eyes?

  The crash of guilt was as powerful as it was unexpected. Yes, her night with As’ad had been wonderful and exciting, but what was she thinking, giving herself to a man like that? They weren’t in love. She wasn’t sure she knew what being in love with a man felt like. So she’d just given herself to him? Why? Because he’d made her feel good? Would she give herself to anyone who asked?

  “Kayleen?” Lina frowned. “What’s wrong? Are you ill?”

  “I’m fine,” she said, trying to act normal, which was difficult. She suddenly couldn’t remember what normal was.
<
br />   “What happened? You’re flushed. Are you sure you feel all right?”

  Kayleen ducked her head. Guilt quickly turned to shame as she realized she was not the person she’d always thought. “I’m not sick. It’s nothing. I just… I can’t… I have to go. Please excuse me.”

  She turned and ran, but no matter how fast she went, she couldn’t escape herself.

  * * *

  As’ad finished with his tie and reached for his jacket. The door to his suite burst open and Lina stepped inside. He raised his eyebrows.

  “I did not hear you knock,” he said mildly, in too good a mood to mind the intrusion. Last night he had shown Kayleen the possibilities. She would quickly realize that returning to the convent school was not the right path for her. She would want to stay in the world—in his world. All would be well and very shortly she would come and thank him.

  Perhaps they could continue to be lovers, he thought absently. He had enjoyed his time in her bed. She had been passionate and responsive. Just thinking about her soft cries made him want her again. They could pleasure each other and—

  “I can’t believe it,” Lina said, stepping in front of him, her expression stern. “I can’t believe you did it.”

  He shrugged into his jacket. “Did what?”

  “You slept with Kayleen.”

  He shrugged. “It is not for you to criticize.”

  “What?” Her voice was high-pitched and carried a tone that warned him there was danger ahead.

  He decided to change tactics. “Kayleen is nearly twenty-five. While it is very kind of you to be concerned about her welfare, she is more than capable of taking care of herself.”

  Lina put her hands on her hips. “Are you kidding me? That’s it? That’s all you have to say? As’ad, you are a prince. You defiled a virgin under the king’s roof. You don’t get to escape by telling me she’s an adult and therefore responsible for her decisions.”

  Defiled a virgin? Did she have to say it like that? He shifted uncomfortably. “I did not take anything that wasn’t offered.”

  “Oh, there’s an excuse.”

  “Lina, you will not speak to me this way.”

  “Of course I will.” She glared at him, her outrage clear. “As’ad, I am Kayleen’s friend. I brought her into this house. I’m responsible for her.”

  “You wanted me to marry her.”

  “I considered it a possibility. I thought you would be a good match. You weren’t supposed to take her virginity. She was raised by nuns. She’s nearly twenty-five and has had what, a dozen dates?”

  He refused to feel guilty. He was Prince As’ad and because of that, whatever he chose to do was the right thing. And yet there was a nagging voice in the back of his head that pointed out he hadn’t thought things through.

  “She planned to return to the convent school,” he told Lina. “She was going to bury herself there.”

  “So you decided to change that? If you don’t want her, who are you to destroy her life?”

  “Her life is not destroyed.” He resented the implication. “I honored her.”

  “Oh, please. It was never for you to decide what she did with her life. It was never for you to judge. You took the one thing she would want to give her husband. Now she can’t go back to the convent school and you’ll have no use for her. Then what? She’s ruined, As’ad, and you did it. Kayleen isn’t the type to take that lightly. She had choices before. You’ve taken them away from her.”

  He turned from his aunt and walked to the French doors leading to the balcony. While Lina made things more dramatic than they needed to be, he understood her point.

  He’d wanted Kayleen and he’d taken her. It had happened before—dozens of times. Hundreds. Women were always delighted to be with him. But there was a large difference between them and Kayleen. The women he enjoyed were experienced. They understood how the game was played. Kayleen didn’t even know there was a game.

  She had given herself eagerly, sensually. She’d enjoyed their lovemaking. He’d opened her eyes to the possibilities, but he had also taken something that couldn’t be returned.

  His aunt’s words echoed in his head. That he had defiled a virgin under the roof of the king. There was a time when, prince or not, such an offense would result in his death. Virginity was a prize to be given to a husband. It was a gift of honor. Something she had no more.

  He turned back to Lina, intent on explaining, once again, that he’d only had Kayleen’s best interests in mind. That it was important that she not lock herself away and ignore the world. But was that his only motivation?

  Had there been some part of him that had wanted to be her first time? Some part of him that had wanted to claim her for himself because he knew he could?

  “I will marry her,” he said firmly, the words surprising him. He paused, waiting for the sense of being trapped to rise up inside of him. Waiting for the protests he must feel, but there was nothing.

  It occurred to him that because he did not plan to love his wife, Kayleen was an excellent choice. As good as any other he could think of. He already liked her. She was spirited and beautiful, he enjoyed her company. She was good with children and had a sharp mind. While she knew nothing of the lifestyle of a royal bride, she would learn quickly. She would provide him with strong sons. And just as important, she was not the type to make unreasonable demands. She would be grateful for his proposal and treat him with respect.

  Lina stared at him. “You’ll what?”

  “I will marry her. I accept my responsibility in what has occurred. Kayleen deserves more than having her gift taken in a thoughtless manner. While she gave herself to me willingly, I do not believe she had thought through the ramifications of our night together.”

  “That’s why they call it ‘swept away,’” Lina murmured, then nodded slowly. “You are sure?”

  “I will speak to her this morning. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes, but after that I will explain what has to be done. She is a sensible woman. She will understand the great honor I bestow upon her and be pleased.”

  “How I wish I could be there for that conversation.”

  “Why do you say that?” he asked.

  His aunt smiled at him. “I would tell you to phrase things differently, but you won’t listen. For what it’s worth, I think you have chosen well, As’ad. I hope things work out the way you want them to.”

  “They will. I am asking Kayleen to marry me. What more could she want?”

  Lina’s smile widened. “I can’t think of a single thing.”

  * * *

  Kayleen ran and ran until she found herself outside. The bright, sunny morning seemed to be mocking her as she wandered through the curving paths. How could everything here be so beautiful when she felt so awful inside?

  What had she done? How could she have slept with As’ad? A few kisses and she’d given in? What did that make her?

  She found a bench and sat down. The stone was warm to her touch, almost as if it were trying to offer comfort. Her eyes burned as she longed for someone to talk to. Someone to advise her. But who? She didn’t feel comfortable discussing something so personal with the other teachers she’d worked with. Especially after moving to the palace. She was too ashamed to call her Mother Superior back home. Normally she would go to Lina, but how to explain to her what she’d done? As’ad was Lina’s nephew.

  Besides, Kayleen couldn’t bear to see disappointment in her friend’s eyes.

  All the regrets she’d been so happy not to feel seemed to crash in on her. Not regret for what she’d done, but for the consequences, which made her horribly weak. Her regrets were about her future, not her past.

  How could she return home now? How could she walk into that place where she’d grown up and had longed to return, knowing she had given in to the first man who had asked? It wasn’t that she feared punishment, it was that she didn’t know who she was anymore.

  She stood abruptly and started walking. An odd sound caught her attent
ion.

  She turned toward it and saw a large cage filled with doves. They were beautiful, so white and lovely in the sunlight. She watched them hop from perch to perch.

  Her dream was gone, she thought. Her plans, her hopes. Now she was trapped here. Nanny to the girls until they were too old to need her or until As’ad replaced her. She was at his mercy. And then what? Another job? Where? Doing what?

  She didn’t know who she was anymore. What she wanted. What she should do.

  Impulsively she leaned toward the cage and opened the door. The doves chirped in excitement, then in a rush, flew out and up, disappearing into the brilliant blue sky.

  “Fly away,” she whispered. “Fly and be free.”

  “I do that myself.”

  Kayleen jumped and turned toward the speaker. She was stunned to find the king standing on the path.

  Horror swept through her. She’d just set free royal doves.

  “I… I…”

  King Mukhtar smiled kindly. “Don’t worry, child. It’s difficult to resist setting them loose. There is no need for concern. They always return. It is their nature. This is their home. They can’t escape their destiny.”

  She knew he meant the words to be reassuring, but they cut through her. Yesterday she had known her own destiny, but today she was less sure. What was her place? Where did she belong? What happened now?

  “Are you enjoying living at the palace?” the king asked. “You are treated well?”

  His question nearly made her laugh. But she was afraid that if she started to laugh, she wouldn’t stop and then she would start crying. Hysterics would lead to a lot of questions she didn’t want to answer.

  “Everything is lovely,” she said, doing her best to keep her emotions in check. “The palace is beautiful. I’ve been studying the history of the building and of your people. There is a long tradition of bravery in battle.”

  “The desert runs in our blood. We were warriors long before we were rulers.”

  “It must be difficult to leave the desert,” she told him. “The beauty, the wildness, the tradition. The nomads live as they always have.”