Her heartbeat settled when she realized Pablo wasn’t the kind of man to ask her to join him if he didn’t think her talent was good enough.
The school wasn’t open. She had no man in her life and her family supported the opportunity. She would be a fool to not take it.
Carissa lifted her head and sucked in a breath.
“Pablo, exactly how long would I be in Italy?”
Pablo lifted his wine glass in a salute. “Ah! She comes to her senses. We leave in the morning and rehearse for two weeks. Then we give the concert.”
“Why now?” Sophia asked. “Why did they relent after all these years and ask you back?”
A pained expression flickered in his eyes. “New pope.”
Sophia walked Pablo to the limo that waited for him. Only Pablo DiAngelo would think he’d need a limousine in Kansas City when a rental car would have done, she thought. The sun had set and the temperature had taken a dive. She held tight to his arm and rested her head against his shoulder as they walked.
“I’ve missed you,” she said softly.
“Ah, bella, I’ve missed you too. Pierre misses you as well.” He turned to her as they reached the car and gathered her hands in his. “Are you sure you won’t come too?”
“I can’t. I shouldn’t have gone the last time you came for me. I’m needed here, Pablo. I hope you understand.”
“Of course I do. Love is an amazing thing.”
“It is.” When he pulled her to him she let herself fall against him. “Who will you use in your ensemble?”
“I have a couple others in Rome. It won’t be the same,” he said with a painful sigh. “But it will be good. To have Carissa will be amazing. To tell all that this is Sophia’s daughter . . . well, that alone will be brilliant marketing.” He laughed.
“Why not Pierre? You said he couldn’t play?”
Pablo shook his head violently. “I don’t speak of it. He was hurt. He’s not in the best shape, bella.”
“I didn’t know.” She gently touched Pablo’s cheek.
“Well, then you live under a rock.” His statement was angry and Sophia knew better than to ask about it.
“What about Thomas? He was the best and—”
Pablo’s hand came up between them and even in the dark of the night, she saw his eyes grow black in fury. “That name is dead to me.”
“Pablo . . .” Her eyes opened wide as she gasped his name.
“Good night, bella.” The driver opened the door and Pablo climbed into the car and shut the door without another word. The driver tipped his hat to Sophia and they drove away.
Sophia stood on the sidewalk watching the taillights of Pablo’s car disappear. She needed more time with him. Something had transpired between those she loved, and she didn’t know anything about it.
Carissa walked down the front steps and to her mother.
“Are you okay?” Carissa rested her hands on Sophia’s shoulders.
“I’m fine.” She turned and saw Carissa had her jacket on and her purse on her shoulder. “Are you leaving?”
“Yes. I guess I have a lot of packing to do before tomorrow.” She smiled but Sophia saw through it.
“Are you sure you want to go?”
“I have to go. I have to leave and see that I can survive the one thing I’ve always been afraid of.” She wiped away the tears that rolled down her cheeks “I have to know that Thomas is gone and he’s not coming back and that I can go on. That you’ll all be here when I get back. I have to know I can survive.”
“Is this the way to do it?” Sophia laid a gentle hand on her daughter’s shoulder. She felt her shake as she fought back emotions that Sophia knew she struggled with.
“I’m going. I have to do this. I told him I loved him and he ran. He’s not coming back. We made a mistake, Mom. Thomas Samuel wasn’t the man for the job.”
Sophia shook her head. She didn’t believe that.
“Carissa, don’t give up on him yet. You don’t know what he’s going through.”
“What I know is he’s not here to celebrate this moment with me.” She tossed back her head and her hair fell back behind her shoulders. “All I know is he’s not in my house, his room is empty, and he couldn’t even tell his mother I was more than just the daughter of an old friend.”
Sophia cringed and pulled her hand back. “Oh, Carissa, I’m so sorry.” She was so much more than that to Thomas and Sophia knew it. It pained her that he’d have chosen his words so that Carissa would hurt so badly.
“No, no. I don’t want to be sorry for myself anymore. I’ll be back in a few weeks. I’ll have lived a wonderful dream. How many people can say they played at the Vatican? I’ll be able to say that. I will be able to hold my head high, come home, and teach those who want to learn how to make music. And I can do it without a man. I can do it without Thomas.”
Carissa huffed out a breath. “I’m a warrior, right?”
Sophia nodded, remembering the bond they had made eight years ago when each of them had shared their physical scars with the other.
Carissa pulled at the Saint Nicholas medal that hung from her neck and held it in her hand. Sophia felt the twisting of her heart when she watched her daughter hold tight to the medal her own mother had given her to protect her. Carissa cherished it as she had.
Carissa squeezed her eyes tight then looked at Sophia. “This is just another scar to bear. Right?”
Sophia took her into her arms and held her.
She’d said she could do it without a man, but was that really what her daughter wanted? Sophia didn’t think so. All signs led to Carissa being miserable without Thomas, and if she knew Thomas, he was miserable without Carissa.
As the matchmaker, she had learned, the pain felt by the pair was felt by the one who put them together.
CHAPTER TWELVE Thomas woke in his childhood bed for the third time, and yet he’d still not swallowed the fact he was in his mother’s home. A nightmare had crept in the first night he slumbered under her roof. She’d heard him, and so had her husband. They had come to him, held him, and comforted him.
“I have them too,” his mother confided in him. “I’ve been through therapy. I’ve been on medications. I’ve had people sit by my side on suicide watch.” Thomas’s eyes flew open at the mention of suicide. “I had nothing, Thomas. I lost my husband. I lost my daughter. I lost my son.”
Thomas dipped his head like a small child who was in trouble, but his mother lifted the face of the man with her finger and kissed his cheek. “But he’s home now and I’m going to take care of him.”
“I don’t know how to accept any of this.”
“First things first. You know you are welcome in our home. We are your family. You have a sister who wants to know you.” She took a breath. “Next you’re going to go back to Kansas City and help that beautiful woman get her school open.”
Thomas shook his head. “She isn’t going to want me.”
“Then,” she continued, “you’re going to learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness yourself. You love her.”
“I didn’t tell her that.”
“No, but you do. You love her very much.”
He nodded. He did love Carissa. His heart wouldn’t ache so badly if he hadn’t fallen completely in love with her. Now he’d walked away. He’d left just as he’d promised he wouldn’t. How was he going to go back and expect her to understand when he had done to her just what she feared he would?
Thomas sat on the front porch and soaked in the sounds. Back in Kansas City, if he were sitting on the porch of the house Katie grew up in and Carissa now lived in, he’d hear music. Cellos, violins, piano, and even one little girl who tried her hardest to hold onto to her tuba would be making music. Chicago, however, was silent, void of all of those sounds he’d become accustomed to.
“I brought you some hot chocolate,” a small voice in the doorway said.
Thomas turned to see Madison standing there in her pajamas, slippers, and heavy winter
coat, holding two cups with marshmallows dancing on top. The smile that spread over his lips was genuine.
“Thank you.”
“It’s really cold out here,” she said, handing him one mug.
“It is. I didn’t realize just how cold until you brought me this.” He held the hot drink between his hands. It warmed him almost as much as the gesture from his sister had.
“Mom says she liked lots of marshmallows in her hot chocolate.” Madison inched closer. “Sarah, that is. Mom said she really liked sweets.”
He nodded. “She did. Her favorite was chocolate Easter bunnies.”
“I love chocolate Easter bunnies too.” She moved to the chair next to him and sat down. “I have a picture of the two of you in my room. Would you like to see it
sometime?”
“I would.”
“Mom said it was taken on Halloween before she died.”
His breath hitched. Thinking about Hope dressing up for Halloween and the beautiful gypsy that Carissa had transformed into, he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.
“She was Cinderella,” he reminisced. “I was Prince Charming.”
Madison nodded. “I’m always a super hero.”
He laughed. “Which one?”
“Oh, last year I was Wonder Woman. My dad picked her because she was his favorite. Do you know which one she is?” Her eyes had opened wider and her voice lightened.
“I do. My favorite was always the Incredible Hulk. He’s really strong.”
“Yeah, but he’s green.”
“But he’s strong.”
“Did you dress up for Halloween this year?”
He shook his head. “No, I was the candy passer-outer.”
“At your house?”
Thomas finally took a sip of the hot chocolate she’d brought him. He was glad it was hot enough to scald his mouth, giving him another moment to contemplate that he had indeed left her and their house, and their school.
“Yes, where I lived in Kansas City.”
The air was getting colder and the smell of snow began to fill the air, yet he didn’t want to go back into the warmth of the house. Sitting with his sister on the porch seemed to be warming him enough.
Madison took a sip of her hot chocolate and slurped up a marshmallow. She chewed on it then licked the chocolate from her lips.
“Did you live with that woman?”
Thomas shifted his eyes to the girl sitting beside him. Her hair was spun gold, just as Sarah’s, but cut shorter. She had small hoops in her ears, something his father would never allow Sarah to do. It was hard for him to remember that this was Madison and not Sarah. They were uniquely different and that was wonderful.
“I lived in her house. It was a boarding house once. Do you know what that is?” Madison nodded. “Her
grandmother lived there from the time she was a little girl until a few weeks back. Now Carissa lives there.”
“And so do you?”
“Well . . .” He didn’t have an answer for her so he sipped the hot chocolate again.
“Will you bring her back again to meet my dad?” Her eyes settled on him with a gentleness that made him want to gather her up and hold her tight to protect her from the world beyond her front door.
“Do you think he’d like to meet her?”
She nodded. “I think she’s pretty.”
“I think she’s pretty too.”
“Are you going to marry her?”
He’d forgotten how inquisitive an eleven-year-old could be. “Things are very complicated between us.” She sat close enough to him now that he could smell the fruity fragrance of her shampoo when the breeze caught it. It squeezed at his heart, just as it had when Hope had looked up to Carissa.
He’d missed long talks with Sarah, and though he realized she and Madison were very different, it still gave him solace to remember the joy in it. He’d forgotten that family could be a comfort.
Madison sat quietly and watched him with her big blue eyes as though studying him.
“Do you know how to play chess?”
The change in conversation had him laughing aloud. “Yes. I know how to play chess.”
“Want to go in and play? We have a chess set made out of Disney characters.” Her eyes were wide and she was already on her feet, holding out her hand for him to take.
He looked at her open hand and felt a rush of emotion that he couldn’t pin down. He’d fought for his father’s acceptance and he’d fought for Pablo’s and the ensemble’s as well. Suddenly acceptance was all around him and he didn’t know that he could trust it. How could he trust that Madison would want him in her life as her brother, or his mother would want the man as her son and not the boy? And Carissa, how could he accept the possibility that she was in love with him?
Life didn’t work like this. Not for him, anyway. There had to be long periods of proving yourself before you were accepted and taken in. Then again, what if they all decided they didn’t want him, like Pablo had? What if they all wanted him out of their lives when they realized he was no good for them?
It would be easier to just run away from it all again and start new. Why he’d thought taking Sophia’s offer was plausible he didn’t know. Hurt came only from those who knew you best, and she’d known him better than most. Now he looked up into the eyes of his young sister and she held out her hand to accept him. He swallowed hard. It was just a game of chess he was committing to. It was just another day he could spend and feel it all out.
He reached for her hand and gave her a nod.
“Well, who could pass that up?”
Carissa looked out over the water. They’d been over the ocean now for three hours, and the farther she flew away from Kansas City the more hollow inside she felt.
“You have a man on your mind.” Pablo handed her a drink and then occupied the seat next to her.
“Guilty.” She accepted the drink and set it on her tray.
“Ah, the last time I flew with Sophia she sat next to me sobbing over your father. Damn him.”
Carissa’s head popped up. She looked into the gorgeous, chocolate eyes of Pablo DiAngelo, and he laughed. “She’d never stopped loving him. Oh, she cried over him, said she hated him. Once she wished him a plague.” That made them both laugh. “But she loved him always.”
Carissa nodded and sipped the drink he’d brought. She coughed when she realized it wasn’t just orange juice. Pablo laughed. “I thought it would loosen you up.”
“I guess so,” she said, setting it back on the tray.
“Tell me about this man you love.”
“How do you know I love him?” She didn’t want to tell him who she was in love with. Thomas hadn’t spoken of Pablo much, and when he did, the conversation seemed to have a hitch. She’d also seen Pablo’s reaction when her mother had mentioned Thomas’s name.
“I know.” He patted her hand. “It wears on your face.”
“Well, I was wrong. I thought I could love him, but he doesn’t love me. I don’t think he knows how to love anyone.”
“Ah, I know a man like this.” He nodded and took her hand in his. “That man was me.” He rested his head against the back of the seat. “I loved a man so much I would have died for him. He completed me in every way. However, I wouldn’t admit it beyond the small circle of people I kept close. I’m not sure I admitted it to them either, but I was more at ease around them.”
He turned his head to look at her. “I used Sophia mercilessly.”
“Used her?” She’d never heard Sophia say such things.
“Yes. I kept her close to me so the world would think I was in love with her, and he’d walk behind us. Always behind us.” He shook his head. “But it was him I loved.”
“What happened?”
“Oh, we fought. He’d leave. I’d apologize and we’d make up. He wanted me to tell the world I loved him, but I was too afraid to risk it. What if the world stopped loving me? I was wrong.”
Pablo suck
ed in a breath and continued, “The night your mother decided to return to you and your father was the night Vatican decided we were not worthy of their audience; he got into a fight with a paparazzo and ended up in the hospital.” He took a sip of the drink he held in his other hand. “I swore to him if he got out of that bed I’d walk right out in front of the press and kiss him and profess my love.”
“And I remember, that’s what you did.” It had been in the papers and she’d seen it. He’d made his statement.
Pablo nodded. “I should have done it from the moment I told him I loved him. I shouldn’t have waited until someone attacked him.” He sat silently for a moment, looking past her and out the window. Then he focused back on her. “It wasn’t easy for us after the Vatican canceled us and the world learned that I loved a man and had never had a relationship with Sophia. We all fought to keep our careers on track. The ensemble wasn’t important to me anymore. I needed to understand what was happening in my life, but there were others in the ensemble to think about. My career was fine, but Pierre wanted to only be at home and wait for me to return. I agreed to that.” His eyes were getting darker, and the lines around his lips tightened. “Then he was almost taken from me by someone I trusted and helped.” He shook his head as if to ward off the tears that had started to form in his eyes. “He’s almost blind now because of the stupidity of another . . .”
“I’m so sorry,” she said, softly laying her other hand on his arm.
“Oh, I’m the only one who cries about it. Pierre wears it like a badge of honor. Says that he was in that car by his own choice and it was as much his fault as that buffoon’s who landed him in the hospital. Blames the wet streets of Paris.”
He raked his fingers though his hair and let out a sigh. “Well, I still love him and I would shout it if I needed to.” He turned his head toward Carissa. “You’ll be back soon. You tell this man you love that you love him, again, and maybe this time he’ll listen.”
“He doesn’t even know I’m gone.” She shifted her attention out the window.
Madison beat Thomas at chess four times before her father made her head upstairs and clean her room.
ENCORE PERFORMANCE (THE MATCHMAKER TRILOGY) Page 17