Parker Bennett sat down at the table, in the seat that his daughter had occupied, and rearranged the chess pieces back into place. Thomas hoped he didn’t want to play. His mind certainly wasn’t into it.
“Jane says you’ll be leaving soon.”
“I thought I’d head back in the morning.” He guessed that since Parker was his mother’s husband, that made him his father. He squirmed in his chair and then finally sat back in it fully. “Well, I know Jane has made it perfectly clear, but you are family. You’re welcome in our home anytime.” Parker lifted his eyes toward Thomas and he saw the sincerity in them. That was something he’d never seen in his own father’s eyes.
“I appreciate that. I really do.” He smiled as Parker sat back, draping his arm over the back of the chair, and looked at Thomas.
“She’s missed you. I almost couldn’t convince her to marry me because she missed you so much.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t . . .”
Parker’s hand rose, cutting off his apology. “I’ve known your mother a long time. She’s never been happier than she has been with you here. She worried about you. She knew you were hurt.”
Thomas shifted in his chair again as Parker leaned forward and rested his arms on the table.
“Will you be going back to—I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten her name.” Parker’s silver eyebrows furrowed.
“Carissa,” he said on a sigh.
“Yes, Carissa.”
Thomas shook his head. “I’ll go back, but I don’t think she’ll have me.”
“Well you could ask, couldn’t you?” He stood and patted Thomas on the back as he passed by.
Everyone else seemed to have faith that she’d take him back. Why didn’t he think it was possible?
He knew why. He’d done the one unthinkable thing that Carissa had assumed he’d do and he’d promised not to—he’d walked out.
He’d left her after having told her he wouldn’t. When he’d called his mother, he didn’t even give a thought to telling Carissa he’d be back. Probably, he realized, because he wasn’t sure he would be. He had taken all of his belongings, hadn’t he?
A sinking feeling hit his stomach when he realized he had to go back. He’d made a commitment to Carissa’s school of music. He’d made a commitment to the students that would come into the school that he would teach them what he knew so well. He’d made a commitment to Sophia.
Whether Carissa would still love him, that would be another area to explore, and after seeing what his mother had done with her life, perhaps it was worth trying. After all, if everyone else saw good in him, maybe it was there. Maybe if he pushed away the thoughts that he was just like his father, they would go away.
Thomas sucked in a deep breath. If Carissa still loved him, maybe it would be enough. Maybe just asking for forgiveness and honoring the commitment he’d made to her would be enough to start a new life with—without having to run away.
It was time for Thomas to go. He’d packed his few things and sat alone on his childhood bed. He hadn’t anticipated the rush of joy that came when he thought about his childhood, looking at all the things his mother had kept. She’d preserved something he’d thought he’d lost to bitterness and grief, but in actuality there were good times, and that was all thanks to his mother.
“So you’re ready to go?” She materialized at the door as though he had summoned her. He nodded, and she walked toward him and sat down next to him on the bed.
Thomas breathed her in, thankful that she’d happened upon him in the cemetery, because he knew he’d never have made the trip otherwise.
“Madison invited me for Thanksgiving.” He smiled as he looked into his mother’s familiar eyes. They weren’t young anymore, as they had been when he’d seen her laughing at him and Sarah playing that silly song before . . .
“Will you come?” Her voice shook and he knew she was on the verge of tears, but she was holding them back.
He looked away. “Yes, I’ll be here.”
Jane touched her son’s cheek and directed his eyes back to hers. “Thomas, bring her back with you. We’d love to have her too.”
“I made a horrible mistake, Mom. I thought I couldn’t love, but seeing what you’ve built after what was taken from you . . .”
“It wasn’t easy, Thomas. It’s not supposed to be. And letting you go now is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.” A tear fell and she wiped it quickly away. “As a mother who has lost everything, I want to hold on to you like you’re still my little boy and keep you in this room safe and happy. I want to start all over again and make sure nothing bad ever happens to you again. But I can’t do that. You’re not a little boy anymore. You’re a man. You’re a man venturing into something very big.”
“What is that?”
“You’re in love. Not one part of it is easy, but the reward of it is great.” She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a small black box. “Here.”
“What’s this?” He opened it and saw a wedding ring he’d seen once when he was a small boy.
“It was my mother’s,” she said, watching him examine the ring in its box. “I told Sarah I would give it to her, but under the circumstances, I think you should give it to Carissa.”
He was a grown man, but the sentiment brought tears to his eyes and he couldn’t help shedding them. “Mom, I . . .”
“Love her more than you can admit. And you want to keep her forever and make her happy.”
The tears that had welled in his eyes blurred his vision. She was right. He wanted Carissa forever. He wanted to make her happier than she’d ever been. She wanted her school, her career, a marriage, and four children. And he wanted to be the man who fulfilled those dreams with her.
“Thank you.” He kissed his mother on the cheek. “If she says yes, we’ll both be here for Thanksgiving.”
“We have a lot of time, Thomas. A lot of time to make up for the time we lost.”
He was glad to hear her say that. Sixteen years was a long time, but it didn’t have to be forever. Things could change, people could change. He’d finally seen it with his own eyes. You could move on from where you’d come from. Carissa had. His mother had. It was time for him to become who he wanted to be—and he wanted to be more than Carissa’s lover. He wanted to be her husband.
Carissa had heard about the temper that Pablo DiAngelo possessed. Sophia had never kept that a secret. However, his anger today wasn't directed toward her; it was just the way he worked. The demeaning tension he caused in every musician either broke them or forced them to dig deeper into themselves and find the notes that would sound like angels singing. Or when necessary, demons and their destruction.
His wrath was worse if a note was missed or a musician didn’t know the music.
She knew her material, from years of practice inspired by admiration for Pablo DiAngelo and her mother. She’d learned every song Pablo’s ensemble had ever played so that she could play with Sophia, and they had done so routinely for eight years.
Pablo’s tantrums had the pianist in tears. His timing was off or his entrance was too slow.
Had he done that to Thomas? Had this been why Thomas didn’t speak about his time with Pablo often?
The flutist yelled in Russian, the violinist didn’t speak Italian, and Pablo’s partner had an opinion on everything Pablo said.
She sat among them, the ensemble that Pablo DiAngelo had handpicked, in the rehearsal hall and wondered how her mother had endured such torture for ten years. Had it been different, since they had all toured together for so long? Were they a family whereas the ensemble that she played with had been recently put together?
The thoughts weren't important when she thought about the opportunity that lay ahead. She’d never have had the chance to play for an international audience. In truth she’d never taken the chance. She’d holed herself up in her house taking care of Millie and Katie so that she’d never have had to put herself on the line for rejection.
; And just as the violinist’s bow hit a note that had the entire ensemble stop and Pablo rise from his seat, throwing music in the air, she realized it had been that rejection that she’d always feared. It had stopped her from ever dreaming of grander things, because what if she’d failed?
Carissa straightened her back as Pablo called for them to start from the beginning. That’s what she needed. A new beginning for herself. A new start to her life where she wasn’t afraid of rejection, but saw it as a new challenge.
It was time for her to shine.
She pulled her bow across the strings, thinking of what a wonderful opportunity it would be for her and for the school. She and Thomas could showcase their
accomplishments in Rome under the tutelage of Pablo DiAngelo. She finished the song with a note of pure beauty that had Pablo beaming at her and she herself feeling dizzy from the excitement of bigger and better things. The thought warmed her throughout, but then when it settled it stung.
Thomas wasn’t part of her dreams anymore. She had to remember that. Their relationship was like a cord that was played flat.
He’d walked out on her like others before him. He’d promised he wouldn’t, but he had. He was just another piece of music she had memorized and never performed.
She took a deep breath and looked at her music as Pablo moved into position after yet another argument with Pierre. It was time for her to play. It was time for her to shine. And dammit, when she returned to the States, it was her time to move on.
The air in the car felt thick as Thomas tried to suck in as much of it as he could to calm his nerves. It wasn’t working.
He’d parked out front of the school, but Carissa’s car wasn’t there. Perhaps she’d parked out back.
His palms were damp, his heart raced, and his head spun. He’d never been so nervous in his entire life. He reached across the car and grabbed the bouquet of flowers that sat on the passenger seat. Balancing the flowers in the crook of his arm, he raked his fingers through his hair, climbed out of the rental car, and closed the door with his hip.
There was a bell on the front door of the school now. It rang as the door shut behind him.
“Thomas!” Sophia’s eyes grew wide with her smile as she approached him from the back. “You came back.”
“Yes.” It was all he could say, because the sinking feeling in his gut was that he should have taken Carissa with him to meet his family. It shouldn’t have been just him walking through that door, it should have been them. She should have been part of that joyous occasion, but he’d left her out, left her just as she’d feared he would The thought made him dizzy.
He tried to refocus by taking in the new look of the school. It had come together in the short amount of time that he was gone. Walls were up and the floor was finished. The rooms had doors and were awaiting glass for windows. Carissa had to be so proud.
Sophia hugged him. “Did you bring me flowers?”
Thomas looked down at the flowers still in the crook of his arm that Sophia had pressed between them when she’d hugged them. He’d nearly forgotten he was holding them, but he was grateful he had them. They hid his shaking hands.
Sophia was staring up at him, studying him the way a dear friend did when she knew something was wrong.
She laughed. “Thomas, I’m kidding. I know they’re not for me. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, um, is Carissa here?” He looked down the hall Sophia had come from. “Maybe you could just give these to her. I’m sure she doesn’t want to see me.” He pushed the flowers toward her, but she didn’t take them. The concern in her eyes made guilt twist his stomach.
“Are you okay?” She reached for his arm.
“No. I’m not okay. I messed everything up and I know she’s going to kick me to the curb.”
“Then you don’t know my daughter very well at all.” She took him by the arm and sat him down in one of the chairs in the parents’ area. “I’m going to get you some water.”
“I’m really not thirsty. I should go.” He started to stand, but Sophia placed her hand on his shoulder.
“Sit. Take some deep breaths. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Sophia walked to the back of the school, where she would get Thomas a glass of water, but also where she could speak with her husband. David stood on a ladder, hanging the last of the shelves Carissa had asked him to put up while she was gone.
“Delivery?” He looked down at her. “Of sorts.” She filled the glass and turned to him with a smile. “He came back,” she whispered.
“Who? The delivery man?”
“No.” She laughed. “Thomas.”
David shot down the ladder, his brows furrowed and his lips pursed. Sophia reached for his arm and he stopped.
“If you need me—”
“I know.” She smiled to let him know she understood his protective instincts, then started back toward the parents’ area. David fell back and waited.
“Here,” she said, handing Thomas the glass. His hand shook as he took it and she tucked her lips between her teeth to keep her excitement from surfacing.
Thomas sipped at the water and then let out a breath. “Thank you.”
“Now, do you want to tell me where you’ve been?” She raised her eyebrows and waited for his answer.
“I went home.”
“To your family?” Her voice now shook and she sat down next to him and inched her chair closer to him. “You saw your family?”
He took another sip of water. “I’ve been staying with my mother for the past few days. Her and her husband and their daughter.”
“You have a sister?” Her tone softened and she reached for his hand.
Thomas nodded. “She’s the spitting image of Sarah. Her name is Madison.”
“Oh, Thomas.” She covered her mouth to stop the sob that tightened in her chest and moved up through her throat. It threatened to burst out when she thought of him having a family. His family.
“Anyway, I thought if my mother could piece her life back together, so could I.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. He handed it to Sophia. “My mother gave me this to give to Carissa. I want to be more than just a teacher in her school, Sophia. I want to put my life back together and I want her to be part of it.”
She opened it and the tears she’d held back released.
“Are you asking my wife to marry you?” David stood just beyond them watching.
“Oh, no sir.” Thomas shot out of his seat.
“I’m kidding, Thomas.” He stood next to his wife and looked down at the antique setting in her hand. “What is this?”
“It was my grandmother’s wedding set. I’d like to give it to Carissa and ask her to marry me.”
David ran his tongue over his teeth and studied Thomas. He nodded. “And you want my blessing?”
“It sure would make things smoother if I had it. I’m not sure I’ll even have Carissa’s blessing.”
“I’m not sure you will either.”
“David.” Sophia looked up at him then back to Thomas. “I’ve known you for a long time, Thomas. I think Carissa would be lucky to have you.”
“Thank you.” He shifted his eyes to David. “Would it be okay if I asked your daughter to marry me?”
“You planned to do that anyway, didn’t you?”
“Well, yes, I did, but . . .”
“Well, when you do, you can tell her you have my blessing.”
“Well, I guess there is only one more person to ask.”
Sophia exchanged a concerned look with David, well aware that Thomas knew something was wrong.
Thomas cleared his throat. “Where is Carissa?”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN Carissa stood before the mirror in her dressing room. The dress Pablo had chosen for her was exquisite. She’d never looked so beautiful. He’d sent her roses. Beautiful, long-stemmed, red buds that felt like silk under her fingertips as she lifted one to her nose to smell its fragrance. He’d made it clear he wouldn�
�t see her and the other members of the ensemble until moments before they stood together to perform.
When the door opened, she looked up to see Pierre slowly make his way in the room, his eyes shielded by dark glasses, his hands extended to help lead him to her.
“Ah, I smell the sweet perfume of roses.” Carissa stood and moved to him. His extended hands were invitation for her to take them so he could embrace her, and he pulled her into his arms.
“He will never tell you, so I thought I would. He couldn’t have been more pleased that you came with him. He really wanted Sophia, but he thinks you are as talented, if not more so,” he added, moving back from her as though to study her face. “But I will deny that if you repeat it.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she said, smiling at her new friend.
The door opened again, and to her surprise, Sophia stuck her head around the door. Pride swelled in Carissa’s chest. Her mother had refused the invitation to play the venue she’d lost, choosing her role as a wife and mother over restarting her career, but she’d come to share it with her.
“Mom!” She let go of Pierre’s hands and ran to her mother’s waiting arms. “You’re here.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. After all you took my place,” she teased.
“Is that my beauty?” Pierre turned and waited for Sophia to come to him.
“Pierre, oh Pierre.” She went to him, his arms open to her. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Enough to have visited me in the past eight years?” he asked with a straight face.
Sophia sighed and bowed her head.
“I’m kidding, my beauty. You got the man you loved, the most talented daughter, and had a baby waiting for you when you got home. Oh, Sophia, what a wonderful life you’ve been given.”
“It has been wonderful. It has.” She gave Carissa a grand smile then she turned her attention back to Pierre. “What about you? Pablo told me you’d been in an accident. I didn’t know about it. I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head. “Oh, he blames . . . well, it’s not important. Truth is we’d had too many, the streets were slick, and the press was after us. I hate that press. We were trying to outrun them. It wasn’t his fault. Pablo did what he could to shift the attention of the press away from us. I’m not surprised you didn’t hear.”
ENCORE PERFORMANCE (THE MATCHMAKER TRILOGY) Page 18