Dice Mage: A GameLit Adventure

by Andrew Beymer

  Windows ran along one end letting sunlight in. Windows that looked out on the ground level up above. The windows on the outside were mirrored so no one could see in and creep on all the people working out. Mike figured there was an interesting story there somewhere, because they hadn’t been mirrored when he started and there’d been a few months freshman year when the place was closed for renovations that amounted to replacing those windows.

  The practical upshot was people in the gym could see people walking past out there. Or things walking around out there.

  Mike thought he must be seeing things, or maybe there was a club somewhere on campus that was having a cosplay event or something. He could’ve sworn he saw a goblin skittering past the window. Like it looked like an honest-to-God goblin with floppy ears and a long nose and green skin and everything. It looked around furtively, like it didn’t realize people could see it through the mirrored windows.

  Then it dove into some bushes and was gone. Mike shook his head. Had he actually seen what he thought he just saw, or was it simply a matter of having a little too much the night before?

  Drowning his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey while playing Mario Kart and remembering the bad times with Christine was a little pathetic, sure, but it’s not like he had anything better to do in the empty apartment.

  Mike shook his head and turned to face Lisa.

  “I’m sorry, but did you see that?” he asked, nodding to the window.

  Her mouth turned down in a frown as she looked up at the whole lot of nothing going on up there on the other side of the windows. “What are you talking about?”

  He looked up at the windows again, and decided he wasn’t going to say anything. What he’d seen couldn’t be real. That or it was someone playing a prank, and he wasn’t going to show up on someone’s shaky smartphone video while they laughed about how he fell for their bullshit.

  He did glance around the gym to see if there was anyone surreptitiously filming with their phone, a big no-no in the gym, but all he saw were the usual suspects exercising.

  And that girl. Again. She was in a leg press which showed off the curve of her ass in a pair of very short shorts, and Mike had to struggle to pull away. She was staring at him again, and that was almost as weird as seeing a fucking goblin walking around outside.

  “Never mind,” he said. “I must still be dealing with the aftereffects of last night’s whiskey.”

  “Christine?” Lisa asked, this time frowning like she meant business. She’d never been a fan of Mike’s ex.

  “You know it,” he said. “But I really have to get going if I’m going to make it to class.”

  “Of course,” Lisa said. “Gonna hit some cardio, but I’ll see you tonight!”

  He made his way to the exit, but not before stopping to look back one last time. First to the windows, then to Lisa, and finally to that pretty blonde with the curly hair and the amazing body. Who was still looking at him.

  She smiled and gave him a little wave before turning and walking deeper into the gym. Away from the entrance. Damn. No engineering a meet cute with her, but if he saw her again he might have to say something.

  If he saw her after he’d had time to process all the bullshit with Christine, that is. He couldn’t help but feel like even looking at another woman was cheating, and he knew he had to get that zap off his head before he considered getting with another girl.

  Still, he found himself in one of those situations where he hated to watch her go, but boy was it fun watching her leave.

  He forced himself to pull away from the gym and all the hardbodies on display in there. One thing was for sure. Seeing a fucking goblin creature running past the gym windows wasn’t the only impossible thing that’d happened today. At least not to hear his inner fat kid which was busy telling him there was no way a girl like that would be interested in him.

  Or that Lisa would be low key flirting with him like he was pretty sure she had been.

  Mike shrugged it off and looked at the time on his phone. He was going to be late to class if he didn’t get a move on.

  2

  Class

  “And so when he says that the women are talking of Michelangelo, what is Eliot trying to tell us?” Dr. Thomas asked, looking out over the room expectantly.

  “Probably that they agree Michelangelo is the best ninja turtle,” Mike muttered.

  Gwen snorted next to him, then slapped him on the shoulder when Dr. Thomas hit them with a severe look that said she wasn’t happy that they were screwing around in her class.

  Not that she was ever happy when anyone acted halfway happy in her class. No, she was the kind of prof who wasn’t happy until she’d sucked all the fun out of reading poems and stories written by a bunch of long dead white dudes.

  Which wasn’t all that difficult considering reading those stories was already about as interesting as watching paint dry.

  “Do you have something to add to the conversation, Ms. Howard?” Dr. Thomas asked.

  “Nothing,” Gwen said, blushing and looking down.

  “Very well then,” Dr. Thomas said, turning to the rest of the room. “Does anyone else have anything to add to the conversation? Anything that doesn’t have to do with reptiles who have mutated and gained martial arts abilities?”

  This time it was Mike who nearly choked as he tried to hold in a laugh. Dr. Thomas turned and favored him with a rare thin smile.

  “Besides,” she said. “Everyone knows that the best turtle is Donatello. He values a good education, and he always had the best reach in video games.”

  Mike managed to barely get over his coughing fit. Okay then. Maybe Dr. Thomas wasn’t as humorless as he’d thought.

  Thankfully they were saved from any more discussion of Eliot by the bell. Though they were in college so it’s not like there was a bell to save them, but it was the same principle. The clock said ten ’til which meant it was time to go.

  “Right. I know I’m not going to keep any of you for any longer, but it would be a good thing if you maybe read the poem I’ve assigned before class on Monday so we can have a discussion about it,” Dr. Thomas said. “If I feel like no one has read it then I might just have a pop quiz instead of a discussion!”

  She said that last bit in a tone that sounded like it could’ve been a joke or it could’ve been totally serious. Considering what he knew of the woman Mike was more inclined to think she was on the totally serious side.

  “Bummer that she had to interrupt the fun like that,” Gwen said.

  “Tell me about it,” Mike said. “But what can you do? She sucks the fun out of just about everything. Usually.”

  They stepped out of the classroom and into a bustling hall full of people who had the frantic look of college students who were on their way to anywhere but the next class. Which was a look that usually only happened at the end of the day on a Friday.

  “So you got any plans for the weekend?” Mike asked. “Any big ragers?”

  “I wish,” Gwen said. “I could use a drink after the week I’ve had.”

  “Tell me about it,” Mike said. “I know I need a drink.”

  He thought about that thing he’d seen earlier in the gym when he’d been staring out the window while trying to not look like he was staring at Lisa and her excellent form in the squat rack.

  “Tough time at school?” Gwen asked.

  “Something like that,” he said, not really wanting to bring up what he’d seen earlier.

  That was the kind of thing that would have Gwen thinking he was crazy, and that wasn’t something he wanted her bothering him about for the rest of the semester. Or the rest of their college careers, for that matter, considering they’d had a bunch of the same classes together over their two years in the English program.

  “What about you?” he asked. “Big plans for tonight?”

  “I wish,” Gwen said. “I have to work.”

  Mike sensed an opening. “Are we talking about this mysterious job that you ref
use to talk about?”

  “Shut up,” she said.

  “Sure thing,” Mike said, but he couldn’t resist getting in at least one more dig. “But if it’s at one of the local strip clubs you know you should just come clean about it, because that’s totally the kind of thing I could find out by visiting on a night when you say you’re working.”

  “You go ahead and visit all the strip clubs in town and see how far that gets you,” she said, winking at him.

  That got Mike’s attention. To the point that he had to stop and adjust some things, lest Gwen realize there was an awkward situation starting to develop.

  To say Gwen was an attractive woman would be a hell of an understatement, and the thought of her working at one of the several gentlemen’s clubs in town was intriguing. Sure she didn’t have the bubbly girl next door cheerleader look that Lisa rocked, she didn’t seem like the type to have six pack abs that showed up whenever she peeled off her shirt to reveal a sports bra and a pair of tight shorts that was both amazing and torture when he was at the gym.

  Hell, she didn’t even seem like the kind who would own a sports bra to work out in, but that didn’t make her any less sexy in her own way. She had a more slight frame and a cute face with striking blue eyes framed by dark hair that went down to her shoulders and was always cut in a retro sort of bob because that’s the sort of thing she was into.

  In short she was cute as a button and fucking sexy as hell because of the way she wielded that cuteness. A dangerous combination if Mike had ever heard of one.

  “So seriously, you doing okay?” she asked. “What have you got going on tonight? I know it’s been a week since everything with…”

  Mike frowned. The last person he wanted to talk about with anyone, let alone Gwen, was his ex-girlfriend. Especially when she was so recently his ex-girlfriend.

  “The less said about her the better,” he said.

  “You sure?” Gwen asked, reaching out and touching his shoulder in a very familiar gesture that his inner fat kid brushed off as him being overly optimistic about her interest. “You know if you ever need someone to talk to about what happened I’m here for you, right?”

  He took a deep breath. On the one hand his ex was the last thing he wanted to talk about, but on the other hand the thought of Gwen helping him get over her sounded like a pleasant way to spend an evening.

  “Yeah, I guess…”

  “That’s what friends are for, right?” she asked, smiling and ripping his heart out at the same time.

  Okay, so maybe not his heart. Maybe there was another part of his anatomy that was standing to attention at the thought of all the interesting ways Gwen might come up with to console him over his oh-so-recent breakup.

  But at the mention of the F word the inner fat kid was double fisting middle fingers at any confidence that might’ve been building. It didn’t help that his inner fat kid was joined by the ghost of Christine telling him how worthless he was.

  “Thanks,” he forced out.

  “Y’know I’m working late tonight, but maybe after…”

  Mike perked up again. He knew an invitation when he heard it. He might have the inner fat kid calling the shots when it came to talking to pretty girls, but that didn’t mean he was completely socially inept. He could tell when someone was looking for an opening.

  Unfortunately the universe intervened in that exact moment to remind him that he already had plans tonight. Plans that involved doing the sorts of things that cute girls like Gwen probably wouldn’t ever be interested in. Sure she was an English major, but something told him she preferred her storytelling to happen in a word processor and not over a game table.

  “What’s up man!” a familiar voice shouted out.

  Mike wheeled around. His moment with Gwen was about to be interrupted by none other than Ron and Doug, guys who’d been staples at an ancient game night that had supposedly been going on continuously with various players subbing in and out since the first edition of Games & Goblins hit the bookstore shelves back in the ‘70s.

  Which was a lot less impressive on a college campus than it might’ve been somewhere else considering there was a steady stream of virginal college dorks cycling in and out over the years looking to have a little fun of a weekend evening that didn’t involve the traditional college party scene.

  Heck, these days there were actually people who were clamoring to get into the game group. Their table and the ongoing campaign was sort of well known in the area, and pen and paper games had been gaining enough mainstream visibility thanks to things like Stranger Things bringing it out of the dorkness that they had to turn people away.

  Still, gaming might be more mainstream these days, but that didn’t mean he was exactly happy about Gwen finding out he was into a bit of pen and paper gaming.

  Not to mention these two dorks coming along meant an end to any fleeting thoughts he might’ve had about spending an evening consoling himself with Gwen rather than going to game night. He got the feeling cats were about to come out of bags here, and he wasn’t sure that was a good thing. Especially with Doug doing his usual creeper thing on anything with a pulse and a pair of tits.

  Yeah, he considered Ron a friend. A really good friend, at that. Doug? Well, Doug was that guy who seemed to show up in a lot of gaming groups. The socially inept dude whose encyclopedic knowledge of the game and willingness to do the thankless work of GMing earned him a place at the table.

  Though for Doug the petty authority he got from running the game seemed to be more than enough to satisfy him. Much to everyone else’s annoyance. Unfortunately he was the one who’d been entrusted with the “sacred texts,” a series of notebooks from the previous GM who graduated last year, so they were sort of stuck with him if they wanted to continue their long running game.

  “Hey guys,” he said, seeing his interesting night with Gwen evaporating before it even started because he’d totally spaced game night while the pretty girl was talking with him. “What’s up?”

  3

  Plans

  "So what's going on here?" Ron asked. "I don't believe I've made your acquaintance my lady."

  He slipped into a bow. It would’ve looked weird on anyone else, but somehow Ron, scruffy beard and wild hair with his utility kilt, basically the walking embodiment dorky guys on college campuses around the nation, managed to pull it off.

  He had that sort of charisma for all that he was a walking hunk of solid of muscle surrounded by a healthy layer of fat that said he was no stranger to the variety of fried delights on offer in the various cafes around campus. His most distinctive feature, aside from his sheer size, was a ginger beard and wild ginger hair that he never bothered trying to tame.

  Somehow it worked for him.

  "Hello there," Doug said.

  The way his eyes went up and down Gwen’s body left no doubt what he was thinking as he looked at her, and it wasn't anything near so chivalrous or romantic as what Ron was trying to pull. Gwen shivered under his gaze and then looked at Mike as though she blamed him for bringing these two crazies into her life.

  "Um, are these friends of yours Mike?" she asked.

  Mike recognized that look. It was the look of a woman who’d been pulled into Doug’s orbit and was trying to be polite even as she wanted nothing more than to get away from him. It was the look of a woman who blamed Mike for pulling her into that orbit even though he would’ve had nothing to do with the dude if he had any say in it.

  He figured it also didn’t help that Ron was being his usual charming and friendly but slightly odd self. The two of them took some getting used to, but fully one half of them were okay dudes, even if they did take a little getting used to.

  "Oh don't mind Arnold here," Doug said, smiling a supremely satisfied smile that he always wore when he made one of his lame jokes that only he appreciated.

  He even reached out and gave one of Mike’s biceps a squeeze. Which always annoyed him, and he ripped that bicep away before Doug could paw at him
any more.

  "Arnold?" Gwen asked, taking the bait.

  "Well yeah,” Doug said, reaching out and pinching on one of Mike's biceps. "A little nickname we have for him ever since he decided to betray his roots and start working out like the Chad he is."

  "He didn't betray his roots idiot," Ron said, flashing Doug an irritated glare. "And stop saying things like Chad. It makes you sound like you're a jealous asshole who doesn't like people who do better in life than you.”

  "What the fuck ever," Doug said. “So what's your name m’lady?”

  "Never you mind," Gwen said.

  Mike couldn't help but cheer for her. On the inside. Cheering her on the outside would only set Doug into a pout, which would make game night a real annoyance.

  Rule one of the game: never piss off the person running said game. Even if they totally deserved it.

  "So are you looking forward to tonight man?" Ron said, pointedly ignoring Doug. He also did a little wiggle of his eyebrows that Mike had come to recognize as his "sorry, but I couldn't get rid of him" look.

  "Wait a minute," Gwen said. “So you do have plans tonight?”

  Inside Mike groaned. He really didn't have time for the pretty girl from English class to discover game night with his dorky friends. His inner fat kid was screaming at him that game night was the sort of thing that would make a girl like Gwen never want to talk to him again, for all that the rational side of his brain was telling him it’s not like it was a big deal considering how mainstream that sort of thing had gotten in recent years.

  "You know it!" Ron bellowed, just loud enough that everyone around them turned to look at the ginger monster who sounded like he was angry about something. "It's the destination for a good time and it's been running for more than thirty years now!"

  Gwen's eyebrows shot up. "A party that's been going on for thirty years? That is impressive considering none of you were even alive when that started."