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A Pair of Aces

Page 14

by Joe R. Lansdale


  Brian squats down, holding the nozzle with one hand. With the other, he forces Pop's jaws open, pinching his cheeks. Pop's false teeth fall out. Brian jams the nozzle in Pop's mouth.

  BRIAN

  Afraid you're going to have to put this on our bill, old man.

  Brian squeezes the nozzle, and gasoline squirts into Pop's mouth.

  BRIAN

  Fill'er up!

  Pop writhes in agony.

  After a moment, Brian removes the nozzle. Pop coughs and spits.

  BRIAN

  Old man, I'm going to ask you a question. I'm looking for this teacher. Good looking bitch. Likely has a husband with her. Had this fellow draw me a map to the cabin up here, but the sonofabitch didn't pinpoint it for me. Might have got confused…Loony, wasn't Jimmy carving on the old lady about then?

  Loony laughs, grins in Jimmy's direction. Jimmy tries to look away.

  BRIAN

  Bet you know the Beaumonts, and where their cabin is. Am I right, old man?

  Pop, scared but defiant.

  POP

  Fuck you, sonny.

  Brian lifts Pop up by his belt, sticks the nozzle down the back of his pants.

  BRIAN

  Hey, have it your way.

  Brian jerks the nozzle out.

  BRIAN

  Loony, Stone, anyone got a match? We're going to play a little game, old man.

  Loony reaches in his pocket and pulls out a box of matches, passes them to Brian.

  BRIAN

  Used to catch armadillos around the house. Get me some gas from the lawn mower can, pour it on their ass and chase 'em round tossing matches at 'em. Ready, set? You're the armadillo…

  Pop somehow manages to pull himself up and limp away. Brian grins.

  BRIAN

  Cheater. I didn't say go.

  Pop gets about three feet, and Brian casually opens the match box and takes out a match, strikes it lit, and then very carefully tosses it at Pop, striking him in the seat of his well-gasoline soaked pants.

  Pop's ass bursts into flames and the flames lick up his back and grab his hair and take it away in a burst of illumination.

  Pop limps a few feet, falls into a stack of tires in front of the store, lays over them screaming. He falls off of those and rolls around on the ground. Flames lick out of his mouth. He rolls over and over on the ground, comes to rest against the tires. The rubber catches and goes up slowly, sending black smoke to the heavens.

  Pop tries to roll some more, putting out some of the flames. But his back and butt and legs are still blazing. He lays face down after a moment, making a strange noise.

  Loony laughs.

  LOONY

  Cute, ain't he?

  BRIAN

  Precious….Jimmy, you two go in there and get something for us to eat. Get some kinda beer, make sure it's cold.

  Angela vomits. Brian frowns.

  BRIAN

  You're getting it on the goddamn car. Get the fuck away from there! Both of you, go get the food. Do it now. Before the whole store catches on fire.

  Jimmy and Angela scramble away. As they pass Pop, we see he is smoking and the tires are lit good and the flames are licking skyward.

  ANGLE LOONY AND BRIAN

  LOONY

  What about them? You aren't going to just let them go, are you? Get away with that shit?

  BRIAN

  Get in there, hurry them up.

  MOMENTS LATER

  Jimmy and Angela return with sacks of goods. Loony trots out grinning like an idiot with both hands full of Halloween masks.

  LOONY

  Hey, look at these? Ain't tonight the night?

  BRIAN

  Yeah. Stone. You drive.

  THE CHEVY

  speeds away.

  EXT. COUNTRYSIDE NEAR POP'S–NIGHT

  Moses Franklin wanders through the trees and brush. He wears a helmet with a light on it. He carries a shotgun and a hunting horn. He pauses. Buffy is in the trail in front of him, squatting to shit.

  MOSES

  Damn, Buffy. Gonna have to change your food That's three times since we got out of the truck.

  His attention is caught by a light through the foliage. He crosses the trail and pulls back some brush by a tree.

  MOSES' POV

  Across a stretch of field, across a little road. Pop's store. It appears to be wearing a wavy red and yellow dunce hat of fire.

  BACK TO SCENE

  MOSES

  Damn, Buffy. POP'S is on fire.

  Moses shoves through the brush, takes off toward the blaze.

  ANOTHER ANGLE

  Moses and Buffy running across the field, Buffy giving out with that hound yodel as she runs.

  POP'S STORE

  Moses and Buffy charge up. Flames flick up from the roof and crackle into the night sky, the windows are bursting. Tires are nothing more now than coils of flame. Pop, pretty well cooked and smoking, lies nearby.

  Moses lays down his shotgun, darts for the pump island, grabs a hose, turns it on, and pulls it out on its runner. He starts spraying it onto pop, who though no longer burning, gives off a cloud of black smoke. Done with that, Moses turns the hose on the store. It's like trying to piss a volcano eruption out.

  Buffy sits and watches. This beats chasing a possum.

  EXT. THE PATROL CAR

  Ted and Larry are on the highway, cruising back the opposite direction from when Pop saw them. In fact, they're about in the same spot, but the opposite side of the highway.

  TED

  I doubt we're gonna just run up on them. They've had a day to rethink things and cruise.

  LARRY

  God, highways, and women work in mysterious ways. Tonight, I'm praying to god, hoping for women, and depending on the highway.

  TED

  Well, good for you.

  Ted gets a glance out of the side window.

  POP'S, being eaten by flames.

  TED

  Goddamn. Turn around.

  Larry hits the brakes and–

  THE PATROL CAR

  spins completely around, and Larry guns it bumping across the clearing that leads to Pop's store.

  ANOTHER ANGLE

  as they slide up to POP'S pumps and jump out, dash toward Moses, who is now using the water hose on pop again. Pop gives off smoke like a doused camp fire.

  Moses, Ted, and Larry, and Buffy stand over Pop. Ted has picked up Moses's shotgun. He reaches out pushes the hose aside, knowing it's not doing any real good. What's happened to Pop has happened. He's alive, but it ain't pretty.

  Moses turns to them. He's still got his hunting head lamp on.

  MOSES

  I was up there in the woods. Saw the flames.

  Larry leans down over Pop.

  LARRY

  Wooo–eeee. Burnt to a cracker.

  TED

  Larry. Call an ambulance. Okay? Fire department.

  Larry hustles back to the car.

  TED

  Might be a good idea to get away from these pumps, or turn them off.

  MOSES

  Switch is in the store somewhere. And ain't nobody going in there.

  Ted squats down beside Pop. Ted tries not to make a face, but the burnt meat and the smell are obviously uncomfortable. Pop opens one eye. The other. Well, it's cooked shut.

  TED

  Ambulance is on the way. We're gonna move you back from the flames, away from the pumps. It won't be very comfortable.

  Pop opens his blackened mouth. A puff of smoke comes out.

  MOSES

  Think he's trying to tell you something.

  Ted leans down close to Pop. Pop tries to speak. Ted listens, lifts up, looks at Moses.

  TED

  Kids. He says kids did it. And he said…bow something.

  MOSES

  Beaumonts. That's what he's trying to say. They got a cabin up around the lake somewhere. I've met 'em.

  Ted nods as Larry comes up.

  TED

 
; Let's move him.

  Larry bends down, looks closely at Pop.

  LARRY

  He's done gone to the great bake sale in the sky. Ain't no use bothering moving him back now. He'll just come apart on you.

  Ted doesn't like this, we can see it in his face. But there's truth in it. He stands up and looks at Moses.

  TED

  What's your name?

  MOSES

  Moses.

  TED

  You can show us this cabin?

  MOSES

  Been awhile, but can show you there abouts. But I'm a citizen.

  TED

  And we need a citizen's help.

  MOSES

  What about my dog, Buffy?

  TED

  Load her up. And take that stupid light off.

  Moses takes the light off his head as they start toward the car, and we–

  CUT TO:

  EXT. THE CABIN–NIGHT, A WIDE SHOT

  Calm, woodsy setting. Warm light in the windows; the moon peeks through the surrounding trees; the sound of a loon calling on the lake. Peace at last…

  CUT TO:

  MONTY

  Monty's night-fishing from the dock with a rod and reel. And not very well, either.

  INT. THE CABIN

  The TV is on, tuned to a funny sitcom. The laugh track laughs. Becky has gotten up to refill her tea. She grins, along with the track.

  She walks back to the couch, curls up, sips her tea.

  CLOSE ON BECKY

  We haven't seen her this relaxed before.

  And then there is a flash. It's the old business again, but this time it is so fast, it's almost subliminal, not actually identifiable, but we can pretty well assume it isn't an Easter parade.

  A whisper.

  Becky turns, as if someone might be standing behind her. She turns back and the whisper becomes harsh, and then it becomes a babble. She jerks back against the couch as if pushed, and we–

  CUT TO:

  MONTY FISHING

  He slaps a mosquito, looks up as birds burst from nesting and hit the sky; a dark cloud rolls lickity-split across the face of the moon, dragging rips and rags of black clouds after it. The wind ripples the lake and the ripples move on across the lake as if something was beneath the surface.

  Monty studies this, confused.

  CUT TO:

  BECKY

  She's in the throes of a fit. Lights in the room blink. The TV scrambles.

  CUT TO:

  MONTY FISHING

  Slaps another mosquito. He's had it with fishing. He reels in his line, starts back toward the house.

  INTERCUT

  CABIN/MONTY

  Becky convulsing, lights blinking, room reeling.

  Monty approaching the house.

  The TV it's flickering. But something dark is moving behind the static.

  Monty puts down his fishing gear, slides back the glass door and steps inside, stops, rigid with fright.

  MONTY'S POV

  Becky is fully convulsed, in spasm, arms and legs jerking out of control, sweat on he face, hair tangled, spittle on her lips. She leans forward suddenly and makes a kind of grunting sound, looks directly at the TV. And when she does, we–

  CUT TO:

  TV SCREEN–CLOSE

  The snow blows away into the world of lost static, and what we see on the screen is what Becky sees in her head.

  Dream symbolic. Seen through cracks and sizzles and spots of static. Figures with demonic faces creeping forward, the lake and woods in the background, and between that and themselves, lurking over them like a poison cloud, a huge top-hatted shadow.

  MONTY'S POV

  The TV. The images.

  Then he looks at–

  BECKY

  who suddenly goes limp, falls backwards and unconscious.

  BACK TO TV

  The images jump away and the screen goes black.

  FAVOR MONTY

  He's frozen by the door. Now he comes undone and rushes to Becky, grabs her hand, starts slapping it, trying to bring her awake.

  MONTY

  Becky. Jesus. Honey.

  EXT. VW–MOMENTS LATER

  The VW ROARING out of the driveway, tossing gravel, heading onto the main road in front of the cabin.

  INT. VW

  Monty is driving; Becky jerks, shivers in the passenger seat. From the way Monty's hunched over the wheel, and the whine of the engine, we know he's going too fast.

  MONTY

  We're out of there, Becky, we're gone, okay, you do not have to go back, we're going home, we're all right–

  Becky is weak, but coming around.

  MONTY

  I've been such a sanctimonious prick. I didn't know…

  BECKY

  Head hurts….God, head hurts.

  Lights hit his windshield and a car passes coming the other way. For an instant, he is even with the car. The other driver turns his head toward them.

  Brian. Whispers and babbles.

  FAVOR BECKY

  She stares past Monty at the car, turns and looks back through the rearview glass.

  BECKY

  It's them.

  MONTY

  What?

  BECKY

  Them. Them, goddamnit! Them.

  Becky starts pounding on Monty, in sheer panic.

  BECKY

  It's–them, it's THEM! They've seen us.

  INT. CHEVY

  BRIAN

  That's the cunt's car! Shit!

  EXT. CHEVY

  Churning up dust in a turn that takes puts them in pursuit of the VW. Loony yells and laughs hysterically.

  LOONY

  Mother–FUCKER! It's on now.

  INT. MONTY'S CAR

  The pair are horrified, as the lights of the Chevy explode into view in the rearview mirror, flood the VW with light.

  INT. CHEVY

  Stone is still, as always. Jimmy and Angela are terrified. Brian and Loony are ecstatic.

  BRIAN

  I'm the one gets to cut her heart out.

  LOONY

  Go, baby, go!

  CUT TO:

  PATROL CAR

  It comes bumping down an almost non-existent road and pauses where it meets a larger road.

  INT. PATROL CAR

  Larry at the wheel, Ted beside him, Moses and Buffy in the backseat. The back left hand window is rolled down and Buffy has her head out of it, panting.

  LARRY

  You sure you know where you're going?

  MOSES

  I don't remember so good. But this is a shortcut to somewhere.

  LARRY

  Didn't want to go somewhere. Wanted to go to the cabin.

  MOSES

  It's out in this direction.

  LARRY

  China is in this direction.

  EXT. ROAD

  Right in front of the patrol car. Monty's car, then Brian's car shoot by so fast it shakes the cop car.

  INT. PATROL CAR

  LARRY

  Shit. That's them. The fucking Chevy.

  PATROL CAR

  blows out onto the highway and the cherries start and the siren whines.

 

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