The Other Side of Dreams (Nighstalker Novels Book 1)

by Jennifer Tilson

  I ball my fist to close off the open wound that drips down my bloodstained arm. “Then it looks like my choice is an easy one. When I’m done with you, please say hello to my mother.”

  “Give it time Nadia, you’ll see. Eventually, they all see.” He grips my shoulders, pulling me up. “But in the meantime, I’ll be watching you.” He pushes his right palm out towards me, and a gust of wind knocks against my chest like a battering ram. A bright flash of light and then more darkness. I land on the hard ground with frantic voices surrounding me.

  The pain in my head flashes hot, and my stomach heaves. Five different voices call to me, but I don’t recognize any of them. I’m unsure of where I am, but maybe if I keep my eyes closed, I can pretend this evening never happened. Even if only for a moment, it’s enough to calm my nerves. “Give her room, back away.” That voice I recognize, Gavyn. An arm reaches around my back, the wounds there burning against the contact, and another under my legs. Someone is carrying me, and we’re moving quickly. Wrinkles form at the corners of my eyes as I squeeze out the light and reality of my situation.

  “What the hell happened?” Another voice I recognize, Hanna. She sounds worried but mostly furious. I would hate to be the one she’s glaring at right now.

  “There’s no time for that. Just stay here with the shells.” Gavyn has his usual commanding tone.

  “What’s wrong with her?” She demands.

  “Nothing.” Any other time, I would enjoy watching these two battle it out.

  “Being unconscious is a regular occurrence for you guys?”

  “She’s not unconscious.”

  “I beg to differ.”

  Gavyn ignores her. The soft pillows of my couch cushion around my body as he lays me down. I wouldn’t have guessed he could be this gentle. “Nadia, we need to go back. It will be safer for you there.” There’s no hiding anymore, I have to let go of my denial.

  “Nadia, you don’t have to go back there. If you want to stay here with me, you can.” Hanna grabs my hand.

  “It’s not safe for her to be here right now.” I don’t need to open my eyes to see the look Gavyn is giving her.

  “I don’t believe I was talking to you. This is her decision.”

  “Hanna, it’s ok. I need to report to the Elders.” I open my eyes to see them glaring at each other. I want to smile, but can’t.

  “Are you ok?” I’ve never seen Hanna look so frightened. I nod, but a single tear falls from my eye betraying the lie. “I will be.”

  “We need to go back, are you ready?”

  I reach my hand out to Gavyn to grab the dust, and we all stare at the bloody cut on my hand. I pull it back, offering the other. “Dust?” Gavyn pulls out the small pouch, and before Hanna can object again, I grab a pinch releasing it into my throat. The warm sensation comes as a relief, and I let go of a few more tears before I land in Dream Haven.

  The clear blue sky and bright sun shine down on the soft grass in front of the Elder’s castle. It feels wrong, like it’s mocking me, like I haven’t just lost both of my parents, and my world isn’t crashing in on me. The thick air makes it almost impossible to breathe. I fall to my knees, letting the immensity of loss consume me. Tears soak my cheeks as my mind hits replay. I watch it all again in my mind, my mother, the Nightmares, Will, my father, watching my father take his last breath. I shudder, and the tears fall harder.

  Arms wrap around me, and I melt into them. Aeryn. He runs his fingers through my hair, and I nuzzle into his neck. The tears continue to fall. I give myself ten more seconds to grieve, then take a deep breath and pull away from him. He wipes the tears from my eyes, helping me to my feet. Gavyn stands there patiently waiting for me to pull myself together. Embarrassment flashes across my face. “Let’s get going,” I say, blinking away the pool of tears, and drying my cheeks.

  I absentmindedly follow them up to the Elder’s meeting room, who sit in silence waiting for us to return. I’m grateful it’s just them and not the entire group of sector leaders waiting to hear my recollection of tonight’s events. Not a word is spoken as we all take our seats. They don’t want to push me too hard, but I can see the eagerness in all of their eyes.

  “The portal took me somewhere, dark. Some kind of cave.” I pick at the dried blood in my hair.

  “Nadia, take your time. We will be here when you are ready to talk.” Gideon says leaning back in his chair.

  “No, I need to get it all out.” I take a breath. “She’s dead.” I don’t need to explain who she is. I take another deep breath and tell them everything that happened. Aeryn pushes himself anxiously to the edge of his chair, and I know Will wasn’t lying. He will be able to find me whenever he wants.

  “You have been through quite an ordeal. Why don’t you rest for the night and we will meet again tomorrow to decide our best course of action?” Gideon stands and places a hand on my shoulder. “There is no worse tragedy than when we have to turn on our own flesh and blood.” He retracts his hand, and Faerah follows him giving me a sympathetic nod.

  I smile weakly. “We don’t sleep, how exactly am I supposed to rest?” Aeryn grabs my hand and locks his eyes onto mine. He’s the only person who can possibly understand how I’m feeling.

  Gavyn stands but hesitates before leaving. “It is, of course, your decision alone, but it is no longer safe for you in the human world. Especially now that the Nightmare Will can track you. You should let that weigh in on your decision heavily.” He nods to Aeryn and leaves.

  “Wow,” Aeryn says releasing my hand.

  “What?”

  “I’ve never heard Gavyn ask someone to stay.”

  “Is that what he was saying?”

  “In his own way.”

  “Does that mean he trusts me now?”

  “At least more than he trusts me.” It feels good to smile. It lessens the heavy weight crushing my chest just a bit.

  “Would you like me to walk you to your house?”

  “No, I can’t go back there.”

  Aeryn shakes his head. “Of course. I’m sorry.”

  “Follow me.” I grab his hand, leading him out of the castle.

  The roaring of the waterfall drowns out all noise, and finally, the replays stop. All I can focus on is the rushing water. Aeryn follows me across the old bridge and takes a seat, but that isn’t what I have in mind. Closing my eyes, I jump. This time my landing is much more graceful. I hit the water feet first, and the impact washes away the crushing weight of reality. For a few moments in this water, I can go back to being plain old Nadia, not the Nightstalker who killed her mother and watched her father die. I push myself up, breaking the surface of the water in time to watch Aeryn jump. His graceful fall is a clear giveaway of how many times he’s done this. I stop moving and let my body float on top of the water. This is how we rest. He swims next to me, and we drift in silence, taking in the atmosphere.

  “I understand now. Why you needed me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I thought you needed me because I was special or because my light was somehow stronger than everyone else’s. But that wasn’t it. You needed me because I could get close to her. And getting close to her was the only way to stop her.”

  “Nadia, I—”

  “Don’t. It’s ok. I understand why you felt you needed to keep it from me. Turning against your own family isn’t a simple task. I needed the fabricated boost in confidence. I just wish it would have been enough to save my father.”

  “You know he wasn’t my favorite person, and I wasn’t happy with him, but I never wanted this to happen.”

  “I know.”

  “And I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help. The portal was gone once you went through it.”

  A small smile pushes on my lips. For two people who dislike each other so much, they have a lot in common. “You have no reason to apologize. It wasn’t possible for you to be there. And even if you were, there’s no reason to believe it would have turned out differently.” We float i
n silence a little bit longer. “I just wish he and I had more time together. We were finally speaking again. I think about all the time we wasted.”

  “You can’t think about the regrets. Just reflect on the good times you did have.” He’s right. “He disliked me as much as I disliked him, you know?”

  “I noticed that, but I don’t understand. Why didn’t he like you?”

  “Because I never gave up on asking him to release you to us. I disagreed with Gideon. I thought you would be safer with us. Training and learning our ways. Your father was sick of me pestering him to change his mind. The last time I went to him was right after you two stopped talking.”

  “You do realize he stopped having control over my life when I turned eighteen?”

  “Yes, but Gideon had ordered me to wait until you were ready. Your father could disobey Gideon’s wishes. I could not. I disagree with how he handled the situation, but I know your father loved you. That’s what you should remember.”

  “I will.” I swim towards land, and he follows. “I need to talk to Hanna,” I say grabbing Aeryn’s pouch of dust. I’m supposed to meet with Gavyn and the Elders to decide on a plan, but I need to see her first.

  “Ok, but I’m coming with you,” He grabs the pouch from my hand.

  “No, I need to do this alone. I’ll be ok, I have control over my light now. For the most part.”

  “He’ll know you’re back there.”

  “And there’s nothing we can do about that, but he’s not going to stop me from seeing Hanna or living my life,” Aeryn growls and thrusts the pouch back towards me. “Thank you.”

  “If you’re not back in one hour, I’m coming for you.” I agree, grabbing a pinch of dust. Hanna’s snoring at my feet when I return. I nudge her awake, and she embraces me in a rib crushing hug. I flinch from the pressure of her death grip. She dressed the wounds my shell received, but that doesn’t lessen the pain any.

  “Gideon filled me in, you don’t need to say anything.” I appreciate that, but telling her about tonight’s events isn’t why I needed to see her.

  “Hanna...” I don’t even know how to say it.

  “Don’t. I know what you’re going to say, and I understand. From the moment they told me who you are, what you are, I knew I would lose you sooner or later.”

  “You’re not losing me.”

  “They won’t let you come back, Nadia. Especially not since he can track you when you’re here.”

  “That doesn’t matter. It’s my choice, and I’ll come see you anytime I please. You’re the only family I have left. I love you.” Hanna resumes her rib crushing hug. “You know, if you don’t loosen up, you’ll beat Will to the punch.” She releases me, narrowing her eyes. Too soon for jokes. “Hanna, I should be heading back, but I need to ask for a favor.”

  “Anything.”

  “Will you stay here? I know you’re only my guardian, but would you watch over all of our shells?” I glance over to the unconscious forms of Aeryn and Gavyn.

  “Of course. That way I’ll be right here when you come back. And this house is twice the size of my tiny apartment.”

  “Thanks, Hanna.” She gives me another hug then hands me my pouch of dust.

  “Promise me you’ll keep better track of your dust. I won’t be there to find it for you.”

  I grab a pinch and place the pouch back into my pocket. “My life would surely fall apart without you.”

  “Then I guess you’re lucky I’m basically bound to you for the rest of my life. She gives my free hand a squeeze. “Now take that dust before you lose it. And Nadia,” I barely hear the rest of her sentence as the warm sensation spreads through my body. “I’m sorry, but I have to say it. I told you so.”

  I laugh as I land in Dream Haven. Both Hanna and Aeryn reserve the right to say it. They knew there was something wrong with Will, but I wouldn’t listen. I refused to see it, and it cost my father his life. I pull the folded photograph out of my pocket and stare at the sad eyes. Now I know why they looked so familiar, they’re the same sad eyes I’ve been seeing in Corner Brew for the last year. Was he already on the path to darkness when they took this photo? Is it the darkness I’ve mistaken for sadness in his eyes? I rip the picture into small pieces and let the wind carry them away.

  I meet Aeryn, Gavyn, and the Elders in the meeting room. They’re hurried voices cease when I walk in, and I wonder if that’s something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life.

  “Nadia, we were just discussing what the best plan of action would be,” Aeryn speaks while the others continue to stare.

  “Well, that’s an easy one. We find the other portals, capture the Nightmares that have breached the worlds, and take out Will before he has a chance to open more portals or turn anyone else.”

  “Nadia...” Aeryn starts but looks to Gideon for help.

  “Actually Nadia, we thought you would be most helpful here in Dream Haven.” Gideon finishes for Aeryn.

  “You still don’t trust me? After everything, I just went through?” I can’t believe they are trying to keep me locked down in Dream Haven.

  “It’s not that we don’t trust you.” Gavyn pauses to consider his words. “We know how strong the Nightmare Will is, and since he’s after you, it would be best to keep you protected.”

  “I’m not my mother.” I protest.

  “We know that,” Aeryn says.

  “And you should also know I won’t be kept from the fight. He played me for a fool and killed my father in front of me. I will be the one to end his miserable existence.”

  “Finding the Nightmare Will won’t be easy,” Gavyn warns.

  “Which is why you need me now more than ever. I’m a direct link to him, we use me as bait and end this war once and for all.”

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  My deepest gratitude to Josh, Sarah, and Stefanie for offering their opinions and support throughout the entire process, making this novel possible, and to Rebecca @atrtink for the beautiful cover and endless advice

  MORE BY JENNIFER TILSON

  Nightstalker Novels

  The Rise of the Nightmares

  See more at Jennifer Tilson’s Author Page