Private Pleasures

by Janelle Denison

  He hadn't talked to her all week, not since the night she'd left his house with her photographer. And every night since, he'd lain in bed and replayed their conversation in his mind, wishing he'd been able to say all the things she wanted to hear. Wishing, too, that he could offer her all the things she yearned for and deserved. Like marriage and children.

  Thing was, he couldn't lie to her, and he couldn't make her promises that would never come true. He didn't know how to love, had only learned from his mother how destructive and desperate that emotion could be. And having had only his own father as a role model, he feared he'd make a damned lousy parent.

  No, he couldn't give her the commitment that was all too important to her, but he could give her the answers she sought. He owed her that much.

  But in order to do that, he needed time alone with her.

  Another ten long minutes and she finally stepped out of the front entrance and locked the glass door. She wore a dressy short outfit in a bright fuschia-and-turquoise print that displayed the incredible length and sexy shape of her legs. Purse and briefcase in hand, she turned and headed toward her car. Knowing it was now or never, he slid out of the Jeep and started toward her.

  "Grey?" Her steps slowed, and her gaze turned wary. "Is everything okay?"

  He probably didn't look okay, he thought. He wore faded jeans, a T-shirt and aviator glasses that concealed his thoughts and emotions. His stride was purposeful.

  "You're coming with me." Grasping her elbow, he escorted her to the passenger side of the Jeep and opened the door. "Get in."

  She hesitated, then climbed into the beige leather seat. Confusion and concern etched her features. Taking advantage of her bewildered state, he closed her door and jogged around to the driver's side. Sliding in, he turned on the ignition. Less than a minute later they were on the freeway, heading north.

  She looked at him as though he were a few slices short of a full loaf. He was beginning to think he was. "Grey, are you going to tell me what's going on?" Moving into the fast lane, he pressed his foot on the accelerator. He glanced at Mariah, a slow smile spreading across his face. "I'm kidnapping you for the weekend."

  Chapter Five

  Mariah's jaw dropped as she stared at Grey. Kidnapping her? "You can't be serious."

  "I'm very serious," he said, taking his eyes off the road long enough to glance at her. Even though he wore reflective sunglasses, she could feel his intense gaze as strongly as if the lenses were nonexistent. "Have you ever known me to lie?"

  Never, but she couldn't fathom why he'd go to this extreme. "Why would you want to kidnap me?"

  "So we can be alone," he stated simply.

  She frowned at his logic. "We're alone now."

  He sped up to pass an old Buick poking along in the fast lane. "It's not enough. I want the weekend."

  Three days and two nights of Grey's company. There was a time when she would have been thrilled to have him all to herself for forty-eight hours. Now, it would be pure torture. "This is insane, Grey." His crazy antic caused an equal dose of frustration and anger to course through her. "You can't just kidnap me off the street and whisk me away without anyone knowing where I am."

  A smug smile lifted the corners of his mouth, matching the arrogance in his voice when he spoke. "If you haven't noticed, I already have."

  With effort, she held her rising temper in check. "Take me back to the shop."

  "I will," he promised, "on Sunday."

  She tried a more rational approach. "Grey, even if I wanted to-" which she didn't, she tried telling herself "-I can't go somewhere with you for the weekend. I have no extra clothes, no makeup or shampoo-"

  "I'll buy whatever you need."

  She shook her head. "Jade is going to freak if I don't come home tonight. We were supposed to go out this evening."

  His body tensed, and she couldn't help but notice the way the muscles in his thighs rippled beneath the soft denim of his jeans. "To Roxy's?" His voice was tight and disapproving.

  She swallowed and lifted her gaze back to his face. "It doesn't matter where, only that I have other plans and Jade is going to worry if she doesn't hear from me."

  "We'll stop in a bit and you can call her," he offered.

  "How generous," she muttered, knowing it was futile to argue with Grey once he'd set his mind to something. "Where, exactly, are you taking me?"

  "Lake Arrowhead."

  Other than that Lake Arrowhead was a quaint city in the mountains, she couldn't imagine why he'd take her there. "What's in Lake Arrowhead?"

  "Privacy."

  "I don't understand." And she truly didn't. Why would they need privacy when she'd made it abundantly clear over the past couple of weeks that they were no longer a couple? Not that he'd respected her many requests to keep his distance or let her get on with her personal life. "Why are you making this so difficult?"

  He cast her a quick glance. "All I want is one weekend alone with you. No one to bother us, no interrupting phone calls." A lopsided grin creased his face. "Hell, I even left my pager and cell phone at home."

  "I'm impressed," she said wryly.

  "You should be, considering I've never done this for anyone." Sobering, he reached across the distance separating them and rested his hand on her nylon-clad knee. "Please, Mariah?"

  Mariah couldn't breathe for the heat his hand generated, and the sparks created by the fingers lightly stroking the sensitive curve of her leg.

  "One weekend," he implored, his voice husky.

  Gathering her wits before she softened to his will, she lifted his hand and placed it on the console. "Why should I? It won't change anything between us, and I don't want to spend the entire weekend rehashing our nonrelationship."

  "No rehashing, I promise."

  "If you haven't noticed, any time we're alone lately all we do is argue, fight and dredge up issues that never get resolved."

  "Yeah, I've noticed," he said grimly. Taking off his glasses, he set them on the dash and looked at her for as long as was reasonable considering he was navigating the road. Only then did she see the weariness lining his features and the dullness in his eyes. "Mariah, I've been miserable. I was hoping if we spent the weekend alone, without any interruptions, we could work things out."

  A huge lump formed in her throat. More than anything she wanted their relationship to work, but their ideals for the future were too vast. She wanted and needed a husband and babies. He wanted the convenience of having her live with him without the total commitment of marriage. Their opposing views seemed cut-and-dried to her, and not something she was willing to negotiate.

  "There's nothing to work out," she said quietly.

  He stared straight ahead, his jaw tightening. He was silent for so long she wondered if her words had finally given him the jolt of reality he needed to face the truth-that their relationship was over. For good.

  His fingers gripped the leather steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. "Do you remember the day at the park when you said I don't share?"

  She remembered everything about that day in the park: his teasing, the press of his body against hers when they'd fallen, their heated debate about love and sharing and especially the anguish in his eyes just before she'd walked away. "Yes, I remember."

  "Well, you're right about me not sharing certain aspects of my life, especially my past."

  She tilted her head and studied his strong profile, wondering why he was admitting all this now. She didn't have to wait long to find out.

  "I've closed myself off to certain emotions for so long, I don't know how to share anything personal. But I'm willing to try…with you."

  His willingness to finally open up enough to confide in her surprised and pleased her, yet a part of her remained skeptical. She didn't want to be disappointed again when he found old memories too painful or disturbing to share, and ultimately failed to deliver on his promise.

  "Really?" she asked cautiously.

  He gave a short nod. "Yes. Can yo
u at least give me a chance?"

  Repairing their relationship would take so much more than Grey sharing his past; it would require that he share her goals for the future, goals he didn't envision as his own. A crushing pressure filled her chest, and confusion swirled in her mind. "Grey, I'm all tapped out emotionally-"

  "Please?" A desperation like none she'd ever seen flashed in his eyes. Gone was the self-confident, arrogant attitude he always displayed to the rest of the world. "And if it doesn't work out after this weekend, I'll leave you alone for good. I swear it."

  Leaning her head back against the seat, she closed her eyes, wishing things weren't so complicated. Dammit, she didn't want to care about Grey's past or the heartache attached to it, but she loved him too much not to. Didn't she owe him this one small favor? If not for them, then at least to give him the chance to purge himself of the bad memories that kept him from giving her his heart.

  The light touch of his fingers fluttered along her cheek. She opened her eyes and met his gaze.

  "Please?" he whispered.

  She melted, her heart softening just for him. Jade would call her weak and foolish for giving in to Grey, but what was one last weekend with him compared to an eternity without him?

  "I'll stay…on two conditions," she finally said.

  "Anything."

  A small smile touched her mouth. "That we spend the time talking and getting to know one another. I want complete openness and honesty between us."

  His dark brows pulled together in a frown. "I've always been honest with you."

  "Honest, yes, but not open, especially about your family and your past."

  He winced slightly. "Yeah, well, family ties aren't a favorite topic of mine."

  "Regardless, that's part of the deal."

  "Fine," he said. "And the second condition?"

  "We don't make love." Because if they did, she knew they'd spend the entire weekend in bed and not get anything resolved or accomplished.

  "You drive a hard bargain, sweetheart," he muttered in disgust.

  She smothered a grin. "Deal?"

  He drew a deep reluctant breath, but when he looked at her there was a glint in his eyes she didn't quite trust. "Deal."

  She never said anything about touching or kissing in her stipulations for spending the weekend with him. Grey might have agreed not to make love to her, but he sure as heck didn't plan on being on his best gentlemanly behavior. He'd always found foreplay-mental and physical stimulation-to be the most exciting part of sex. He enjoyed bringing Mariah to a slow, escalating peak of want and need with nothing more than sexy words, the slide of his hands on her body and the caress of his mouth in all the places that made her shiver and moan. No, they wouldn't make love in its purest sense but he planned to heighten her awareness of him every chance he got.

  Touching his fingers to the base of her spine, and hiding a smile at the subtle catch of her breath, he walked beside her on the cobblestone path leading to the custom-built cabin overlooking Lake Arrowhead. The trees around them were green and lush, the lake beyond a clear blue. The area was peaceful and quiet, a perfect, private retreat.

  "Whose place is this?" Mariah asked curiously.

  Retrieving the single house key from his front pocket, he slipped it into the lock and opened the door. "It's Mark's."

  Hesitantly she stepped into the foyer and looked around. "I didn't know he had a mountain place."

  "It was part of his divorce settlement," he explained. "His wife got the Mercedes and the house in Laguna Niguel, and he was awarded this cabin. He still brings his boys up occasionally."

  She strolled into the cozy kitchen and set her purse on the dinette table situated in front of a bay window. "It was nice of him to let you use the place."

  Mark had been more than happy to hand over the key, along with the suggestion to heat up the spa and take advantage of the romantic atmosphere. Grey intended to do both. "If you'll open up the place, I'll bring in the groceries and other things."

  "Okay," she said, moving into the living room and toward the sliding doors that led to a redwood balcony.

  Jogging back to the Jeep, Grey opened the rear door and hefted a couple of bags of groceries into his arms. They'd stopped at the market for some basic staples and the necessary toiletries for Mariah. The market's deli special of lasagna and garlic bread was their dinner. When she'd gone to call her sister on a pay phone, he'd slipped into an exclusive boutique a couple of doors down and bought her a few outfits for the weekend, along with some underthings and a pair of leather sandals.

  Once the car was unloaded and a cool breeze flowed through the house, Grey warmed their dinner in the oven and they sat at the kitchen table to eat. Outside, dusk moved- in, bringing with it the serenade of crickets. He kept the conversation light, establishing an easy, comfortable setting.

  Once dinner was finished and the kitchen cleaned, he turned to Mariah, ready to put his plan of seduction into action. "How about a dip in the hot tub outside?" he asked.

  She folded a dish towel and placed it on the counter, suspicion filling her eyes. "I thought we were going to use this time together to talk."

  He grinned to put her at ease. "No reason why we can't do that while relaxing in the spa."

  "I didn't have time to pack a swimsuit," she said sardonically.

  "You don't need one." She opened her mouth to protest, and he cut her off. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't bring one, either."

  She crossed her arms over her chest, though a half smile curved her mouth. "This sounds just a little too convenient."

  He couldn't deny her claim. The suggestion was convenient, one he'd be a fool not to take advantage of. "No funny stuff, I promise." He held his hands out in a show of trust. "We'll even sit across from each other."

  Mariah stared at Grey, weighing his sincerity. The man could be so charming and persuasive, she found it difficult to deny him something so casual as sitting and relaxing in a hot tub together. It was the "naked" part she had a problem with. But it was getting dark outside, and they were both adults capable of keeping their desires on a tight rein. At least, she was.

  "Well?" he prompted. "Should I go heat up the spa?"

  She could do this and be totally unaffected by Grey. She needed to learn that particular discipline, and this was as good a time as any to show herself just how much willpower she possessed. To prove her determination, she lifted her chin and said, "Go ahead. I'll be out in a few minutes."

  With a triumphant grin Grey slipped out onto the redwood deck. Seconds later the sound of the spa's jets could be heard as they sputtered and chugged to life.

  Grabbing her purse, Mariah enclosed herself in the bathroom and stripped out of her shoes, outfit and underthings. She wrapped a towel around her and tucked the end securely, covering herself decently from her breasts to just above the knee. Finding a barrette in her purse, she piled her hair on top of her head the best she could. There was nothing she could do for the shorter strands that fell free and wisped around her face and neck.

  By the time she returned to the deck, steam curled from the rapidly bubbling water. Grey sat on a redwood chair, bare feet propped on the railing and his hands clasped on his belly as he gazed out at the full moon that had risen above the lake over the past hour. He looked altogether too sexy and tempting and he'd yet to shed his clothing. Awareness unfurled within her, spreading a pleasant tingling along her nerve endings and making the towel around her body feel coarser against her skin than it actually was.

  She shifted restlessly on her feet. So much for being unaffected. So much for willpower.

  Picking up one of the two glasses of wine on the small round table beside him, he took a deep swallow of the drink, then refilled his glass before glancing at her. "Beautiful night, isn't it?"

  All of a sudden she felt like a schoolgirl, which was ridiculous considering how intimate she and Grey had been. Absently double-checking the knot holding the towel in place, she looked up at the twink
ling stars in the clear night sky. "Uh, yes, it is."

  His warm and lazy gaze did a slow, appreciative perusal, from the haphazard knot of hair on her head to the tips of her bare toes. "You gonna get in or are you gonna stand there all night?" Amusement tinged his voice, but his eyes were all golden heat.

  Her stomach fluttered. "I'm, um, not dressed."

  Standing, he set their glasses of wine on the rim of the tub, then stripped off his shirt and tossed it on the chair he'd just vacated. "I won't be either in a second." Unbuckling his leather belt, he unzipped his fly and hooked his fingers into the waistband of his jeans and briefs.

  She sucked in a breath, though his boldness shouldn't have surprised her. The man didn't possess an ounce of modesty. "Grey!"

  "What?" The look he gave her was a stirring combination of innocence and sin. "It's not like you've never seen me naked." The jeans and briefs whooshed down his legs, and she averted her gaze, though from the corner of her eye she saw a flash of smooth, muscled skin and the toned curve of his buttocks as he stepped into the spa.

  "Ahh." He sighed contentedly as he stretched his arms along the rim. "This feels great. Your turn."

  She wasn't about to give him a free show. "Close your eyes."

  The rogue laughed, the sound deep and throaty. "I thought I'd stripped you of all inhibition long ago."

  He had, and she'd be the first to admit that she'd done things with him that had shocked her sensibilities in the beginning. Eventually, though, she'd gained enough confidence to freely explore her sensuality and desires. But that had been before, when she'd believed they had a future together. The uncertainty of their relationship made her more discreet.

  "Eyes closed, Nichols."

  He grunted a complaint but complied. "For crying out loud, Mariah, I've been intimate with that cute little mole on the inside of your thigh and that bunny-shaped birthmark on the curve of your breast and you're worried about me seeing a glimpse of…oh, man," he groaned as she stepped into the spa, completely naked.