Lost in the Moment (A Savioe Family Novel)

by Ginny Atkinson

  Roxy gasped in shock and smacked his arm. “Dude, really?”

  His mouth dropped open in feigned surprise. “I wasn’t talking about that, Roxy. Gawd girl git ya mind outta da gutter.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him and poked a finger at his chest. “Sure you weren’t.”

  The bell rang signaling the beginning of the school day. I took a step away from the car and trailed behind the loving couple. A thread of resentment stabbed at me. Why can’t I have that type of relationship with the woman I want? My upper lip curled a bit when I passed the alcove before I walked into the commons and saw the decorations littering the room. I raised an eyebrow and caught the eye of Marie briefly. She shrugged and nodded over to Charles, who was standing by the wall beaming like a proud father.

  The art teacher and a group of the drama freaks held a sign up with intricate lettering welcoming Roxy back. A few of the cheerleaders ran over to Roxy and gave her an oversized card and balloons.

  “Welcome back, Roxy.” Someone shouted from behind the sign that started a cacophony of well wishes and greetings.

  Roxy just stood there in shock during all of it. Her cheeks started to flush before she ducked her head pushing her hair behind her ear. She looked back up shrugged her shoulders slightly and bit her lip. “Thanks everyone.”

  The vice principal walked over to us trying to shoo everyone so they’d get to class on time. “Glad to see you are well, Ms. Saintshill. Now hurry up and get to class.” She smiled at Luke and Roxy before she started issuing orders to clean up the commons.

  As everyone started to disperse, that tarty blonde from the party grabbed hold of my arm and leaned up to whisper in my ear. “Since you’re single now, why don’t you meet me in the bathroom in twenty minutes?”

  I shook my head, extracted my arm from her, walked into the main building and headed toward my class. Even if I wasn’t hung up on Marie, there was no way I’d entangle myself with someone so dodgy. There was no chase with girls like that. They just gave it away freely and still expected to get respect afterwards. How could I respect them if they didn’t respect themselves? I grabbed my books out of my locker and headed to class.

  *****

  During first and second period, the only thing anyone wanted to talk about was the attack, even the teachers. My government teacher even changed her lesson plan to discuss ‘rape culture’ in today’s society and scheduled a debate for later in the week for us to take a stance on it. I was more than willing to toss in my opinion on it and was the first person to volunteer to go first on whichever day we had it. In my mind, there was nothing more abhorrent than someone trivializing or exploiting taking away a woman’s right to say no to sex. There was no middle ground for me.

  Beau texted me right before lunch telling me to go to Frank’s today when all I wanted to do was curl up in Grace and take a nap. I stopped by my locker and put my books inside. A small pink note floated to the floor. I picked it up and raised an eyebrow as I read it.

  You didn’t meet me in the bathroom. Maybe another time? If so I’m looking forward to it. ~Bailey.

  Huh, so that was her name. Easy and pushy, yeah, that’s two strikes against her. She can just forget about another time. I crumpled the paper up and tossed it in the rubbish bin on my way out the commons.

  I pulled up at the Drive In and parked at the back of the building. Our usual table was crowded. Luke and Roxy were seated with their backs to the road. Marie sat beside them with Jess taking up the seat to her left. Charles sat on Luke’s right with Scott and Payne flanking Beau. I sighed and took up the only seat left, right in between Scott and Jess.

  “Hey, brother. How’s it going?” Scott nudged my arm as I sat down.

  “S.S.D.D.” I mumbled leaning against the metal tabletop.

  Jess cracked a smile shaking her head. “My dad says that all the damn time.”

  Charles poked his head up from a book. “What does it mean?”

  Jess pulled her frizzy hair back. “Same shit different day.”

  Marie sent me a small glance across the table before turning her attention to the menu. Yeah, this was going to be difficult. I clenched my fist under the table and looked at the menu, trying to resist the urge to look back up at her. She looked stunning today. Her hair was curled adding a softness to her. She had on a simple button up long sleeved plaid shirt. Those fucking legs of hers were in black denim that clung to her like a second skin.

  A hand clamped down on Beau’s shoulder. Hunter patted it briefly as he walked by. “You the man, Beau.” He then winked at Marie and took a seat at the table next to us.

  I narrowed my eyes at the git. If she thought she was off their radar she was fooling herself.

  *****

  Marie

  This was killing me being this close to him and having to ignore him. Why did I break it off again? Oh yeah, I love the guy and knew that he’d stomp on my heart. I sighed placing my usual order of a large fry and a mint chocolate shake. Jess glanced at him then back to me, pulled out her pen scratched something on a napkin then slid it over to me. I looked down at it. Her messy writing asked if I was okay.

  I shook my head no at her. She frowned at me leaning forward. “Then why did you do it?”

  The side of my mouth tilted up in a sad smile. “I didn’t want to get hurt.”

  Her eyes widened a fraction as she sat back. “Huh.”

  I sat there staring down at the table slowly picking off little pieces of the napkin. I could feel his eyes on me. Yet every time I looked up, he turned his head away. I longingly took in his appearance. His shaggy dark dirty blonde hair covered his forehead messily. He had faint bags under his eyes and it looked like he hadn’t shaved in quite some time. His normally neatly trimmed chinstrap beard had at least four days growth creeping in it.

  He looked up at me and our eyes met. A storm of emotion swirled in those silvery depths. I was sucked in again. My heart swelled with longing as he wordlessly pleaded with me.

  Just as I was about to get up and go to him, Scott nudged his arm. “So brother, who was that big tittied blonde hanging on your arm this morning?”

  My mouth dropped. That was quick, not even a full week before he moved on. What the hell was that look about then? My heart ached and throat threatened to close on me. I quickly closed my eyes biting the inside of my cheek to keep from reacting externally and effectively keeping the tears at bay. My leg started bouncing causing Jess to clamp her hand on my knee.

  She whispered. “There is no need to jump to conclusions.”

  I gave her my ‘yeah right’ look and snorted. “It’s whatever. We’re not together so he can do whatever he wants.” It’s better to deal with this pissed off than to weep like a child.

  She looked over my shoulder at Hunter as her sly grin started to light up her face. “I say he cares for you more than you think and I know of a way to prove it.”

  “How?” Could that be true? I glanced over at Drez who was furiously whispering to Scott.

  Jess leaned forward. “We know he hates Hunter. So just go over to him and flirt with him in front of Drez. If he doesn’t react then we know he doesn’t give a shit, but if he does what I think he will. Well, you just might get him back.”

  I looked over my shoulder at Hunter then back at her. “Okay, I’ll do it. Here’s my money in case I’m over there when they bring out my food.”

  I stood up, brushed my hair away from my face and walked over to Hunter. He looked startled to see me as I took a seat beside him facing him. I leaned over to his ear and whispered. “Don’t take what I’m about to do the wrong way. I’m just doing this to piss off Drez.”

  He smirked when I leaned back. He grabbed my hand and started rubbing the back of my knuckles. “Do what you want. I’ll do anything to piss him off.”

  I ran my hand over his check before settling it on his shoulder. He scooted a little closer as I pulled him forward. My breath brushed over his cheek before my lips touched his. I heard his quick ind
rawn breath and kissed him fully. I had to keep myself from gagging. He was all tongue and no technique. I pulled away and turned my head away from my table quickly rubbing the back of my hand across my mouth to wipe off his slobber.

  He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. “You didn’t get anything out that either, huh?” I laughed at him and shook my head. He smiled back. “Good, I was worried I was the only one. Here take my number. If you need to piss him off again give me a shout.”

  “I’ll do that. Thanks for playing along.” I ran my hand across his jaw as I stood up and walked back over to the table. Everyone at the table sat there in shock. I bent down to say to Jess. “Let’s see how he likes that. I’m headed to the bathroom.”

  She barely nodded at me as I walked passed a seething Drez. When I got to the back of the building, I poked my head around the corner and saw him clench his fists before he stood up heading back in my direction. I quickly slipped inside the bathroom before he rounded the corner and locked the door.

  I looked at myself in the distorted mirror. Come on, Marie. You can do this. He’s already moved on to that stupid bitch. Just make him think you have too. I flushed the toilet and ran the water splashing a little on my face before grabbing the paper towels sitting on top of the broken hand dryer. I patted my face and tossed the crumpled brown sheets in the overflowing trashcan before unlocking the door and walking out.

  He stood beside the door leaning against the wall with his hands shoved in his pockets. The moment the door opened, he pushed away from it and grabbed my shoulders holding me against the wall.

  “What the hell was that about, pet?” He hissed at me through clenched teeth.

  I raised my eyebrow at him swallowing the sudden nervousness that surfaced. His grey eyes were ablaze with anger and hurt. “What?”

  He narrowed those chips of granite at me. “You know perfectly well what. Is that why you broke it off with me? To go after that git. All he wants to do, luv, is get between those thighs of yours.”

  “So what if he does? I don’t see where it would be any of your business.” I snapped back at him.

  His fingers dug into my shoulders before he took a step away from me and ran a trembling hand through his hair. “That’s why you did it isn’t it? I wasn’t good enough for you so you had to go to the little golden boy.”

  “Oh please, get over yourself. I broke it off with you because I knew you’d lose interest in me. You proved me right. Not even a damn week before you had some busty skank rubbing on you.” I poked my finger in his chest with each word.

  “If you would have stuck around long enough instead of ramming your tongue down someone else’s throat, you would have heard that I had nothing to do with her. Easy women do not appeal to me.” He grabbed my hand to stop my simple attack.

  “Yeah right. Like I’m really going to believe that shit.” I rolled my eyes at him jerking my hand back.

  “Believe what you want, pet. It’s the truth.” He sighed closing his eyes. “Do you really…. Was I not enough for you?”

  His voice held a slight tremor. I ignored my heart in its attempt to want to comfort him. “I want someone who would burn for me the way I do for them. One who would not freeze me out and not tell me what’s going on. You…. You confused the hell out me. I could not deal with the ups and downs. Then we’d get so wrapped up in the artifice we created that I’d forget that that is what it was. I couldn’t let you break me because of that.”

  “So you broke me instead.” I could have sworn I heard him whisper.

  “Please. You’d actually have to care about someone in order to get broken.” I turned around to face the wall. What if he did care about me? I should just stop being a bitch and tell him that I was just trying to make him jealous.

  He stood directly behind me and purred in my ear. “If I didn’t care about you, luv. I would have pounded you into oblivion that night you were so willing to give it up to me. You’d have felt me days later still between your legs. I would have taken us to heaven.” My legs trembled and I had to force myself from leaning back against him. He brushed my hair away from my neck and clasped the side of my head continuing his assault on my senses. “Your silky voice would have called out my name before calling me a god from the pleasure I could have shown you. Now you will have the fumbling of that selfish prick to deal with. Let me know how that works out for you.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. This was not going how I had intended it. Why did I listen to Jess? I took a step away from him and turned around to stare in the eyes. “Do ya want me ta describe it in detail ta ya or would ya rather I just record it so ya can critique his techniques at ya leisure?”

  His jaw clenched as he grinded his teeth. “You are not seriously thinking about letting him fuck you?”

  I shrugged my shoulders at him. “At least I know he’d finish the job if he was given the chance.”

  “He’d shag a goat if it stood still long enough!” He shouted at me before he took a step toward me.

  “I’m done talking ta ya.” I stormed off toward the table and plopped down in my seat. I heard his car door slam before he fired up the engine revving it a few times. As he drove by us, he barked the tires peeling out of the parking lot.

  Beau, Luke and Charles all turned their head to me in question. Beau sighed at me before giving me the look that screamed ‘do not ignore me’. “We need to talk when we get home. Just the four of us.”

  I hung my head no longer hungry as I played our argument over and over in my mind. I’m such a damn fool.

  *****

  I had felt horrible ever since lunch. Drez never showed back up at school. Beau said he wasn’t scheduled to work today, but anyone could go in and request more hours. He wasn’t answering anyone’s calls or texts. I only hoped he wouldn’t stay away from the house because of my stupidity. This was the second time I’ve listened to Jess and her advice turned out to be crap.

  I leaned my head against the back window in the truck. None of my brothers had spoken to me since lunch either. I did hear Luke tell Beau that after he dropped off Roxy he’d head straight home so they could ‘get to the bottom’ of things. Don’t they realize that I feel like shit over this anyway?

  Yes, I messed up. I just screwed up the only relationship I have ever wanted and then burned any bridge I might have had in getting back together with him. My chest hurt with that knowledge. The pain I saw in his eyes will haunt me for a long time. There was nothing I could do that could change that. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from making a sound as I wiped away a tear.

  His Charger wasn’t at the house when we got there. I quickly got out of the truck and rushed inside. Maybe if I locked myself in my room I’d escape their unwelcomed lecture.

  Beau stopped me at the bottom of the steps. “Marie. When Luke gets here we will talk.”

  I ducked my head and went to my room. I passed mom at the top of the stairs ignoring her hello and closed my door. I dropped my bag in the floor, stumbled over to my bed and plopped down on it face first.

  A soft knock sounded on my door before she walked inside. “Pumpkin? Are you okay?”

  I buried my face in my pillow trying to mask the sound of my tears falling. I felt the edge of my bed sink down as she sat there. “Marie?”

  I lifted my head up and sniffled. “I’m fine, Momma. I just did something really stupid.”

  “How stupid?” She hesitantly asked rubbing my shoulder trying to comfort me.

  My bottom lip trembled before I let out a soft sob. My shoulders shook as I buried my face back in my pillow. My voice was muffled. “I’m such a fool. I threw away what I had with Marcus on the chance that he might have broken my heart.”

  “Aw, baby. Shh. Don’t cry. I’m sure things aren’t as bad as you think. Have you talked to him about this?”

  “We ended up arguing and some things were said that I’m sure hurt him as much as me. I don’t think there is a way I can fix it.” I sat up and rubbed my hand against my nose.r />
  “Pumpkin, if you care about each other there is always a way to fix it.”

  *****

  I heard the rumble of Luke’s Harley coming up the driveway. This talk was not going to be fun. They’d probably sit me down, Beau would play the ‘we told you to stay away from Hunter’ card, Luke would agree with him and Charles would crack a joke. I sighed as I moved off my bed and headed down to the firing squad.

  As I went by the kitchen, Mom stood by the sink holding her cellphone to her ear with a deep frown marring her face. She let out a huff of exasperation. “Marcus, honey, it’s Eva again. Just wanted to know if you are going to be here for dinner. Just let me know okay?” She hung up and put the phone in her back pocket. Great, now mom was worried.

  I bit my lip ducking my head and headed down to dad’s study. The door stood wide open as I approached it. Beau sat behind dad’s desk, Luke was seated on the couch. Charles stood by the window. Shit, that means I get the hot seat. Damn, I knew it. I closed the door before walking over to the oversized chair.

  I plopped down in the seat, leaned back and propped my elbow up on the arm of it. I chewed on my fingernail as I waited for one of them to start. Beau sat across the desk shaking his head at me. He tried to start only to snap his mouth shut and go back to shaking his head. Luke sat with his arm slung over the back of the couch mirroring Beau’s expression. I sighed deeply resting my head on the back of the chair.

  Charles cleared his throat to get my attention. I turned to look at him as he harshly criticized. “Are you insane? Seriously, Marie, you have to be out of your freaking mind. We spent how long trying to keep you away from Hunter only for you to hook up with him and in front of Drez too! Jesus. I’m beginning to think that those tight ass pants of yours are cutting off circulation to your brain.”

  I closed my eyes shut and murmured. “I’m not hooking up with him.”

  Beau snorted. “Then what the hell was that?”

  With my eyes closed, I rested my forehead against my hand. “Me being a fool.”