Fated to be Mine

by Larson, Jodie

  It’s a valid question really. How do I feel about this? Amazing. Fantastic. Best office non-sex I’ve ever had. Okay, only office non-sex I’ve ever had. I know I said no sex but after this, I may change my mind.

  “I feel incredible. You are amazing.”

  I help him button his shirt again while he straightens the sweater over my body. His fingers brush across my stomach, which growls loudly now that my euphoric high has worn off. Andrew laughs at the now familiar sound, holding my jacket out to me and helping me into it, like a perfect gentleman. Not that he was a perfect gentleman five minutes ago as he ravaged me on my desk. But I guess that all depends on what your definition of a gentleman is. After all, he did make sure I received my pleasure since he did.

  Once we’re put together, we head to my door. I pause after twisting the lock and turn to face him, throwing my arms around his neck. Andrew looks surprised but wraps his arms around my waist, holding me close to him.

  “Thank you for surprising me at work. That was one of the best surprises yet.” My lips seek out his, wanting to taste him one last time before we break out of the protective bubble of my office. “I’m so glad you’re here right now.”

  His head dips down again and his sweetness crosses my tongue. “There’s no place I’d rather be than right here with you.” My stomach growls again and we laugh. “Come, let’s go get some food before you waste away to nothing.”

  THERE IS A PEACE BETWEEN us as Andrew follows my directions to the grocery store by my apartment. It’s funny to see him sitting on the other side of the car since the only time I ever saw him drive was back in London, where the steering wheel is where I’m sitting. Andrew’s thumb is still stroking the hand he hasn’t released since we exited my building. His constant need to keep in contact with me in some way is so sweet. It’s making it difficult to have that temporary amnesia with him. So much of everything that he does makes my body remember his, makes my mind remember why I fell in love with him so quickly and why we feel so perfect together.

  We walk around the grocery store like any other ordinary couple. I push the cart while he wanders around, trying to navigate the aisles in search of whatever it is he’s looking for. He hasn't given me any clues as to what he has planned. The only thing I know for certain is that we will not be having my usual dinner of either soup or cereal.

  We pass by the floral display near the fresh fruit. The light fragrance wafts through the air as I lightly finger the petals of a Gerbera daisy while Andrew picks through the produce. With an assortment of colors before me, I look at them all, loving how the vibrant colors pop against the other flowers next to them. I notice Andrew’s eyes follow my hand as I continue to brush the daisies softly, not wanting to disturb them too much. His face softens as he smiles when I finally pull myself away from the beautiful bouquets on a quiet sigh.

  With our groceries in our arms, we walk through my front door, placing them on the counter in my kitchen. It didn’t seem like we had purchased that many items when we were filling the cart but as we started bagging them, one bag turned into four. Apparently he wanted to make sure that we were prepared for anything this weekend.

  We busy ourselves getting the kitchen back in order. I show him where the knives and cutting boards are as he rolls up his sleeves. My movements slow slightly as I stare at his newly exposed forearms. There’s something about a man wearing a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up that is insanely sexy. It’s such a simple thing really, not meant to be sexual at all, but the look of it is hotter than just about anything else on the planet. Okay, that may be a stretch but let’s face it, it’s hot.

  I pour two glasses of chardonnay from a bottle of wine that Kara left at my place the other night and slide one across the counter to Andrew, who pauses in his task. He raises his glass to mine, tapping them together as I relax against the countertop next to him. Thankfully he turned down my offer to help him cook. He probably remembers that cooking is not my strong suit and if we wanted to eat something that isn’t delivered or comes from a box, it’d be best if I just observed.

  “To surprises,” Andrew says with a twinkle in his eye. He’s apparently thinking of our little romp on my desk, and honestly, so am I. I flush slightly as I take a sip of my wine and continue to watch him work his culinary magic.

  “Are you sure you don’t need my help with anything? I feel bad just sitting here while you’re doing all the work in my kitchen. I mean, after all, you’re my guest this time.”

  Andrew pauses between chops, looking up at me through his lashes with a sensual smile. “No. I just want you to stand there being cute and adorable.” His smile begins to smolder and there’s a new gleam in his eye. “Or you can get naked. Either one works for me.”

  He wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh. “That’s not going to happen. If I get naked, I could possibly distract you, making you accidentally chop off a finger or something like that.” He just laughs, bending over to steal a quick kiss before resuming his task.

  “Best stir-fry ever,” I say, pushing my mostly finished plate away from me. If another bite lands in my mouth, I could very well explode at the seams. Andrew smiles and clears our plates from my small dining table.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it. It wasn’t much, though.”

  I join Andrew in the kitchen and begin rinsing the plates before loading them in the dishwasher. “Are you kidding? That was unbelievable. It was restaurant quality good. I know I could never do that in a million years.”

  Andrew laughs, putting the leftovers into my nearly bare fridge. He sighs while looking at it, closing the door with a shake of his head. I ignore it, knowing that he’s disappointed in my lack of groceries and food around my place. I just don’t buy food to keep around for me to snack on all day long. I get what’s necessary and that’s it. You don’t need anything more than that. It’s not like I’m constantly inviting people over to entertain.

  Once the kitchen is clean, we both flop onto the couch, deciding to watch a little mindless TV. My legs are draped over his, snuggling close to his side and allowing my head to rest on his shoulder. His arm drapes over my shoulders, securing me to him in a loving embrace.

  This is what I love. Just a simple night in with nothing fancy going on. Nowhere to go but the comfort of your own home, resting in the arms of a man who holds you like you are the most precious thing on this planet. Soon enough, the rhythmic beating of his heart lulls me into utter relaxation. I try desperately not to cross the border into sleep. But my eyelids feel heavy and weighted. Before I know it, a yawn escapes my lips. Andrew twists his head to look down at me, sweeping his lips across my forehead as he takes in my sleepy composure.

  “You’re tired, love. Come, let’s go to bed.”

  Andrew effortlessly picks me up, cradling me to his chest and walks us down the short hallway to my bedroom. My arms hang around his neck, praying that this isn’t some dream. I need to know that he’s going to stay with me and keep me safe in his arms.

  “Can you stand, love?” he asks.

  I nod my head against his shoulder. My feet hit the floor and I sway a little when he briefly releases me from his hold. Andrew smiles warmly at me, helping me strip out of my clothes again, only this time with no sexual context behind it. He keeps my modesty by holding my gaze while sliding a shirt over me as soon as my sweater is gone. It’s endearing the way he fusses over me, thinking of all the little things I would have neglected to remember. And truly it’s the little things that make the biggest impact.

  My body wakes slightly as he strips out of his own clothes, leaving himself in nothing but his boxer briefs. But even with the constant hum of attraction between us, my body feels spent and tired as if the activities of the week have finally taken their toll.

  Andrew pulls back the covers and then swiftly picks me up in his arms again. I laugh into his neck, thinking he really doesn’t have to do this but not wanting to say anything that will stop him. The mattress is soft but the sheets are cold and I shi
ver slightly at the sudden change in temperature against my warmed skin.

  Ever mindful, Andrew quickly crawls in beside me, allowing the heat of his body to warm me instantly. I snuggle into the firmness of his chest, my legs intertwining with his under the sheets. His lips find my hair, kissing me lightly before leaning over to turn off the lamp. My arm drapes over his body and I sigh, inhaling the sweet scent that I love.

  “Goodnight, Tessa. Sweet dreams,” Andrew says, kissing me once more.

  “Goodnight, Andrew,” I whisper back. His lips move against my hair with soft words that I’m unable to make out. My heavy lids close and the steady beating of Andrew’s heart lulls me into a peaceful night’s sleep.

  Bright sunshine floats into the room, filling the dark space with light and warmth. And I’m warm, so warm. Almost sweltering hot. Why am I so hot? The floor is usually cold, or at least I am because the covers are never around me at that point. My eyes blink awake slowly, confusion clouding my brain. I’m warm, my face and head don’t hurt and I’m still in bed. This is not my typical morning. My eyes fully open and I stare at the source of my comfort. Andrew’s still asleep, allowing me the time to admire him closely without being embarrassed. Even in slumber he’s impossibly handsome. The fanning of his lashes against his cheeks, the way his nostrils flare slightly as he breathes. There’s even a little curl of his lip, clearly dreaming of something pleasant. Silently I hope that it’s me.

  My fingers twitch, wanting to touch him so badly yet I know I should let him rest. The poor man must be exhausted after what I had put him through these last few weeks. Was it really only three weeks ago that we met and found each other by some twist of fate? It seems like just yesterday yet at the same time it’s as if we’ve known each other our entire lives. Can it be possible to know a complete stranger?

  But my body has a mind of its own, letting my fingers roam over his features; a light brush of his eyebrows, watching them furrow slightly at the contact before relaxing again. I wiggle closer to him, needing the additional contact as I continue my journey, tracing the slope of his nose, rounding over his cheeks to caress the hair above his ear. My fingers maintain their loving strokes, continually threading the silky strands through my fingers. I hardly notice when his lips fully quirk into a smile.

  “I will give you a million years to keep waking me like this.”

  I can’t help the giggle that escapes from being caught. Bright blue irises greet me, the morning sun shining on them, casting a glittering spell over my own. Our heads move closer until we’re nose to nose and our lips are able to reach in a slow kiss, not overly passionate but not lacking in luster. My legs move restlessly against his, my foot running up and down his calf. Andrew breaks free, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. Warm lips surround my lobe, dragging it slowly into his mouth and a soft moan can be heard from the back of my throat.

  “Good morning, love,” he says. Andrew’s teeth graze against my neck making me gasp, but I hold him close so he doesn’t stop. My fingers resume threading through his hair as we enjoy this peaceful moment before we fully wake.

  “Good morning, handsome. Did you sleep well?” I pull back, needing to look at his face. I trace the outline of his jaw with my fingers before running them over his bottom lip. Andrew flashes me a smile and pulls me closer to him, letting me feel his morning erection at my hip. My hands travel around to his back, lightly stroking the bare skin, tracing each and every muscle I can find.

  He turns his eyes to mine, making my heart flutter in my chest. Those eyes have the power to see right through me, see me for who I am and who I can be. Eyes so loving and gentle they make up the portal into this beautiful man’s soul. And those eyes are firmly fixed on me.

  “It was the best sleep I have had in two weeks. I love waking up next to you, seeing the dreams still floating behind your eyes. And I love how soft your lips are first thing in the morning.” He leans in to verify his theory and kisses me. My lips mold to his as I lose myself in everything that is Andrew; not wanting to wake up if this is some sort of cruel dream.

  But it’s not. It’s real. He’s real. And he’s here, with me, for me, wanting me. It’s what I’ve been asking for, hasn’t it?

  Then why am I fighting this?

  My bladder is screaming at me so I pull back to kiss the end of his nose, a gesture that he always does to me and give him a warming smile. Andrew looks confused, but I smooth the worry lines from around his mouth with my thumb.

  “Don’t worry I’m not going anywhere. I just need to freshen up first. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

  When I emerge from the bathroom, I turn toward my bedroom, thinking we could resume our cuddle session. The noise coming from my kitchen has me turning that way instead, clearly indicating that cuddle time is over. The smell of coffee floats through the apartment. When I turn the corner, I’m gifted with the sight of Andrew’s nearly naked body standing in front of my refrigerator, clad only in his boxer briefs. It should be a crime to be just as good looking from the back as you are in the front. Yes, washboard abs make girls drool but there’s something about a well-defined back that is regularly overlooked. Every muscle is smoothed over with tanned skin, not a trace of imperfection on it. My eyes drift lower, admiring his firm ass and thighs. One can always appreciate someone who takes care of themselves. It lets you know that they can put just as much effort into other things.

  I’m caught off-guard when he turns to face me as if he knew I’m admiring his perfect body. He smirks and shuts the door before slowly striding over to me as I stand there in my ratty old nightshirt. It’s faded to the point of being almost see-through and has holes in places that it probably shouldn’t. But it’s my favorite thing to sleep in because it was the first thing I bought when I moved into my first apartment. After sleeping in my clothes for years, for lack of money or various other fearful reasons, it was nice to have something to change into at night. An overlooked luxury for some but for me, it was so much more.

  I’m pulled from my past by warm hands running down my arms, pulling me close to the hard body I was admiring mere seconds ago. Soft lips connect with mine, tasting and teasing as he smiles at me. My arms find their place around his waist as I cling to him. The kiss becomes hotter, needier, and I find myself pressed against the wall behind us. Andrew’s hands cradle my face as our tongues move together at a frantic pace. His hips pin my own, allowing me to feel how much he wants me, causing my own body to react in the most delicious ways. My legs tremble, my nipples harden and the pulsing throb between my legs sends a shiver up my spine as want and desire threaten to make me break my rule.

  This is how a kiss is supposed to be, showing the other person how much passion there is between the two of them, how need and want are in fact the same thing. My hands travel up his back, gripping his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. I begin to pick up my leg to wrap around his waist, but he slows us down, cooling the heated air between us. It’s almost as effective as dropping an ice cube into a volcano. The passion and need are still there, still crying out for him to touch me, to claim me, mark me as his. But Andrew pushes back, letting his mouth run over my jaw and down the column of my throat.

  “You look so sexy standing here in that little nightshirt. I just couldn’t help myself.”

  His words are not helping to diminish the pulse inside me as my hands travel the expanse of his back again, slightly grazing over the top of his ass before tracing along his sides.

  “I could say the same thing about you.”

  He makes a low groan as my hands continue roaming about his body, reacquainting themselves with muscles that haven’t been accessible for weeks. My lips brush against his again, causing us both to smile.

  “You know this no sex agreement is killing me, right?”

  Andrew’s tongue traces my collarbone, making my head fall hard against the wall with a loud thud. The pain doesn’t even register as he continues licking at my skin. My fingers entwine in his hair, holding
him to me as my breathing speeds up, becoming more erratic and shallow.

  “I know. Me too,” I say breathlessly. “But we have to do it this way, even if it kills us right now.”

  And right now I feel as if I’m in front of a firing squad, begging to just have one last taste of pleasure before I die. And what a way to go, death by Andrew. Our lips connect one last time, slow and sweet, warm and soft before he rests his forehead against mine. Our combined breaths come in short pants, our hands moving to cup each other’s face. He’s my addiction, my drug, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to stop him.

  We pull away from the wall, hand in hand, and walk back to the kitchen area to finish what Andrew had started before we got distracted with each other’s bodies. Filling two mugs with steaming hot coffee, I give one to Andrew and I lean against the counter to watch him. His biceps flex as he brings the cup to his lips, his eyes staring intently at me over the rim.

  I clear my throat and shake my head, needing to keep my mind clear. “So what were you searching for in my fridge?”

  “Well I was going to cook up some bacon and eggs, but since your refrigerator is almost bare, I can’t exactly do that. What do you eat in the mornings?”

  I shrug my shoulders and look down into my coffee. “I don’t usually eat breakfast. It just never crosses my mind. I’m usually rushing out of here most days of the week so all I have time to grab is coffee. The caffeine keeps me going all morning.”

  Andrew frowns, tilting his head slightly as he looks at me. “That is not going to do, love. You need to eat more.”

  I look down at myself and scoff quietly. Eat more? If anything I need to eat less. Can he not see the excess lining around my stomach and thighs?

  “I eat enough. I don’t want to get any fatter than I already am.”

  I know my depreciating self-image isn’t accurate and everyone always tells me the opposite of what is in my head. But the years of neglect and various other issues haven’t helped in seeing me for anything other than what’s in my mind’s eye. Andrew must realize this because he places his mug on the counter and closes the short distance between us. He pulls me close to his body, arms protectively wrapping around my waist as he kisses the top of my head.