Fated to be Mine

by Larson, Jodie

  Andrew waves him off. “Quite all right. I’ll just head up to the counter to get one. Do either of you need anything?”

  I shake my head and smile. “No, I’m good for now.”

  “No, thank you,” Michael responds.

  Andrew stands and kisses the top of my head before going to brave the long order line. I turn back to Michael, who has a rather large grin on his face.

  “What?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “Nothing. It’s just, you look happy.”

  I take a sip of my coffee after blowing on it. “I am happy.”

  “So everything worked out between you two?”

  I nod. “It did. All misunderstandings have been cleared up and we’re moving on.”

  “Good. I’m happy for you. You deserve something to go right for once.”

  “I almost feel like I should hold my breath or something. It’s like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop because it seems a little too good to be true. Nothing ever goes this right in my life.”

  Michael twists his lips to the side. “That’s not true and you know it. What about your promotion? Or the fact that your dad has come around and is including you more and more in his life?”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Can you say that things have gotten better since you returned from London?”

  I pause to think about it. “Yes, they are substantially better than before I left, that’s for sure.”

  “So how does Andrew fit into things now?” he asks.

  I look over my shoulder at the man in question and smile. He’s talking to some random stranger behind him, laughing at whatever the man has said. If I know him like I think I do, he’ll more than likely buy his cup of coffee as well because that’s what he does. He gives without needing anything in return and always thinks of others before himself.

  “We haven’t talked about the future too much, but he did tell me over the weekend that he loved me, so I have to think that everything will fall into place.”

  Michael leans forward and places a hand on mine. “Congratulations. I know you were worried about him not returning your feelings before. It’s good to hear that it wasn’t true.”

  I shake my head. “No. As a matter of fact, if I had been listening I would have realized it a lot sooner.”

  “The important thing is you’re listening now. Things will work out. I have a feeling about you two. I just hope he doesn’t take you back to London because I would miss our almost daily coffee dates.”

  We laugh as Andrew approaches the table again. “What did I miss?”

  I smile at him and shake my head. “Nothing much. Just Michael’s addiction to caffeine.”

  “Hey, I’m a lawyer. It’s pretty much what my body runs off of most days of the week, along with most nights.”

  Andrew holds up his cup in salute. “I’ll drink to that.”

  Michael begins telling us the story of his latest case, flailing his arms around while talking animatedly. It makes the three of us laugh and I take a moment to appreciate this scene. Andrew is engaged in conversation with Michael, asking him questions about the American legal system and how it differs from the British one. It makes me happy that the two of them seem to get along. I was nervous at first because of the whole party incident, but Andrew knew deep down that there was nothing more between Michael and me other than friendship.

  “So, Michael, is there someone special in your life yet?” Andrew asks.

  Michael shakes his head. “No, unfortunately, I’m still playing the role of the lonely bachelor. I just haven’t found that special someone yet. When I do, I hope to have half the chemistry as you two seem to have with each other.”

  I tilt my head to the side. “What are you talking about?”

  Michael’s cheeks pink up slightly as he looks down at the table briefly. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you two have made it official, I guess there’s no harm in mentioning it. I saw you two dancing together at the party a few weeks ago. Even though I could tell there was some tension between you two, the looks you gave each other told me that it was all just a show. Your true feelings ran deeper than what was on the surface. I saw it again one other time while I was waiting for the elevator in the lobby. You both must have come back from lunch together and were laughing at something. But the furtive little glances you exchanged showed the amount of adoration and love you both hold for each other. I knew you would find your way eventually. Tess just needed to get out of her head and listen to her heart.”

  “You saw all that?” I can’t believe he witnessed all that and never once said anything about it.

  Michael nods. “I did. And it makes me want to find someone who will look at me the way you look at him. So if you happen to know anyone, by all means, send them my way.”

  He laughs, but I can tell there’s a hint of sadness in it. I guess I never realized he was lonely.

  “I don’t know many people so I won’t be much help. But if I see someone I will definitely send them your way.”

  “Thanks, Tess. I’m just kidding about that. You don’t have to play matchmaker for me. I’ll find someone eventually. Just need to keep my eyes open.”

  “It’s all about being in the right place at the right time,” Andrew adds, grabbing my hand.

  “Yes, it is.”

  We spend the next half hour talking sports and catching Andrew up on the latest football games. He says he hasn’t watched much American football before, but he’s going to have to learn to love it if he wants to stay in a relationship with me.

  Michael glances down at his watch and starts to stand from his chair. “I suppose it’s about that time. Time to hit the grind again.”

  We dispose of our coffee cups and exit the shop to head down the block to our building. Andrew keeps a hand to the small of my back as we walk down the street.

  “It is positively freezing out here. Aren’t you two cold?” Andrew asks when a large gust of wind kicks up. The warm weather from the weekend has disappeared and brought back the usual temperature for the season.

  “This is nothing. Have you ever experienced a Minnesota winter?” Michael asks.

  “Afraid not.”

  “Oh, you’re in for a treat then. A word of advice, though. Just because the sun is shining doesn’t mean it’s warm outside. Always dress as if there’s going to be a blizzard because it can pretty much happen at any given moment.”

  “Really?”

  Michael and I both nod our heads. “Really.”

  “Remember the blizzard of ’91?” I ask Michael.

  He laughs and holds the door open for us. “I remember my mom talking about it. It was Halloween and you guys up north got around three feet of snow dumped on you overnight, right?”

  I nod. “I was little so I don’t remember much of it. According to my mom and dad, the snow was so high it covered half of our living room windows to the point we couldn’t see out of them.”

  Andrew shudders as we step into the elevator. “You are not making a good case for this state right now.”

  I look up at him and smile. “Don’t worry. That was a fluke blizzard. We haven’t had another one like that yet.”

  “Some have come close, though,” Michael adds. I send him a glare and he just laughs.

  “Not helping.” I turn back to Andrew and smile. “You’ll love winter here. It’s so beautiful when it snows.”

  “I can’t wait to experience it and see the difference between a London winter and a Minnesota winter.”

  “Be prepared to be shell-shocked,” Michael says. The elevator stops on our floor and we move forward to exit.

  “Enjoy your day in court,” I say, waving goodbye to Michael.

  “I will. You enjoy your corporate life down here. Coffee again tomorrow?”

  Andrew nods and quickly shakes his hand. “We will be there.”

  “Great. See you then,” Michael says as the elevator doors close.

  Andrew turns to me and smi
les. “You were right. He’s a good gent and funny to boot. I can see why you’re friends with him.”

  I kiss his cheek and link my arm through his. “I knew you two would get along.”

  We walk down the hall and stop outside the conference room.

  “Lunch again?” I ask.

  He shakes his head. “Not today. Chris and I will be tied up during lunch so I won’t see you until after work. But that also means that I get to pick you up and take you home.”

  I smile at the thought. “Home. I love the sound of that coming from your lips.”

  He leans down and gently brushes his lips across mine. “Good. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Andrew kisses me one last time before entering the conference room. I turn and walk toward my office, thankful that Michael seems to be right. Everything is working out as it should for once in my life.

  IT’S THE WEEKEND BEFORE THANKSGIVING and everyone is getting ready for the big holiday, making travel plans or arrangements for family to visit them. And since Andrew moved into my apartment a few weeks ago we don’t have to worry about travel plans anymore. Surprisingly it’s been a seamless transition incorporating both our lives into one. And his arguments for moving in turned out to be entirely valid, like taking one car to work instead of two. It’s good for the environment and saves on gas. Brilliant. It also has saved me from physical pain since I have stopped falling out of bed altogether.

  Luckily he didn’t have many things to move over from his hotel room. And I’m afraid to bring up the dilemma of what is going to happen once his project is done here and he has to go back to London. I try not to think about it because it makes me sad. We’ll deal with it when the time comes and so far it’s still several months away.

  Andrew is at the grocery store, picking up some essentials for dinner tonight. He still hasn’t warmed up to my version of dinner. Apparently breakfast food is meant for breakfast and not for any other time of the day. But since he does the majority of the cooking, I’m not going to complain. It’s like having my own personal chef sometimes.

  Wanting to keep myself busy, I plug my phone into the stereo dock and start swaying to the music as Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” blares through the speakers. Picking up my duster, I alternate between dusting and singing into it, bouncing to and fro as I drown out everything around me except the music.

  “I love the way you sing.”

  Andrew’s voice in my ear startles me, making me scream and damn near jump out of my skin. I twirl around to face him, clutching my chest and willing my heart to resume its normal rhythm.

  “You scared me half to death!”

  He laughs as the last few notes of the song fade and transitions to “Your Song” by Elton John. Andrew pulls me close, tossing the duster to the side and wrapping his arms around my waist. Looping my arms around his neck, I press my body into his as we sway in the middle of the living room. Unlike the last time we danced together, we’re not in fancy clothes or shoes. Jeans and sweatshirts can be just as sexy sometimes. Andrew presses his lips to my ear, whispering the chorus to me softly.

  I take the words to heart, loving that he’s communicating to me through music. My body melts into his, becoming putty in his hands as he holds me upright and guides me across the room. The love song swirls around us, reminding me of how important he is to my life.

  The music dies and is replaced by the shrill ringtone of my phone, breaking our spell and impromptu dance. I reach up on my tiptoes and gently kiss Andrew before grabbing my phone from the dock to answer it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Tess.”

  “Hi, Dad.” He sounds funny and the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “You seem different. Is there something wrong?”

  He clears his throat and lets out a breath. “Tessa, I just got a call from the institution. Your mom apparently became ill a few weeks ago. The doctors have been giving her all sorts of treatments and medications, but her body was resisting them. Some complications arose and …” he pauses before going on again, “they ultimately claimed her life. I’m so sorry honey, but she’s gone.”

  I stare at Andrew for a moment, but I don’t really see him anymore. It’s as if I’m having an out of body experience. Nothing is registering in my mind. No sounds, no movement. Everything is blurry, blending together into one giant black hole. The phone slips from my hands, landing at my feet with a soft thud. I hear someone quietly crying, not sure where it’s coming from. My body goes limp and falls to the floor. Somehow Andrew’s arms wrap around me and guide me into the safety of his body. Bringing my knees to my chest, I curl up into a tight ball and begin to cry gut wrenching sobs that wrack my whole body with pain.

  Andrew’s voice tries to break through the ringing in my ears. He must be talking to my dad because he’s not asking me any questions.

  My mom is dead.

  My mom is dead.

  My mom is dead.

  This is all my mind can focus on, the only thing it knows for certain. She was fine and then she wasn’t. She was alive and now she’s dead. And worse, she died alone, thinking that no one cared about her. No one was by her side when she left this world. But someone had to have been there with her. She was placed in the hospital so a nurse must have been there, right?

  But the one person that should have been there wasn’t. I wasn’t there in her final hours when she needed me most. I did the best I could to take care of her when I was growing up after my dad left. Even though she was sick and hated me for his departure, I still loved her. And now she’s gone. And I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.

  Time … space … everything falls away with that thought. My body moves, but I’m not in control of it, as I’m lifted into the air. Tears fall from my eyes, pooling onto Andrew’s shirt as I continue to cry. Andrew’s voice breaks through again, pulling me back into the present. The words are still jumbled in my head, but the worried tone of his voice can be heard. I can feel the press of his hand as he strokes my hair lovingly.

  Somehow I gather enough strength to pull away to look into his worried face. He’s pale and scared and I can only imagine what I look like if I’m the reason he appears this way.

  “I’m so sorry, love. Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I’m here,” he soothes, trying to relax me. His thumbs brush away some of the tears that continue to fall and I take deep, gasping breaths, attempting to get air back into my lungs.

  “My mom,” is all I can say before another round of tears breaks through again. Cradling my body, he holds me close while continually pressing his lips to my forehead.

  “I know. Your dad told me. It’s going to be okay, I promise.” I stare blankly at him, wanting to believe in what he’s saying. “She wasn’t in pain, love. She passed in her sleep.”

  I nod against his chest, half paying attention, half processing everything that’s happened since my world crumbled within the last ten minutes.

  “Tessa, look at me.” Andrew pushes me gently from his body, framing my face with his hands. I blink twice in partial recognition, but everything blurs with another round of tears. His voice is fading again and I feel weak as if all the energy has been zapped from my body. Soft lips kiss mine, coaxing me back from the edge of consciousness, but the tears continue to fall on their own.

  “Your dad needs us to leave right away. We’re heading to his house. Can you stand?” His voice sounds pained, scared. Why is he scared? I don’t understand.

  He sets me down on the couch, making sure a pillow is under my head before he moves around the apartment, darting in and out of rooms and stuffing things into a bag. He then grabs his keys and my purse before putting my tennis shoes on my feet. I’m lifted back into his arms, where I nuzzle my nose into his neck, pulling in deep breaths to calm me down. His strength amazes me as he covers me with a jacket and locks the door behind us, never once putting me down.

  Cold leather meets my back as he places me in the front seat of the car. He g
uides my face to meet his, bringing us nose to nose. “Love, you’re frightening me. I need you to stay with me. Can you do that?”

  I blink several times as I try to focus on his face. Blue eyes stare at me.

  My mom’s eyes were blue.

  Were blue.

  My mom is dead.

  Mommy.

  I start crying again as Andrew buckles the seatbelt for me. My head falls back against the headrest, suddenly feeling very tired. The scenery around me moves fast beyond the window I’m staring out of. Blurs of barren trees and tall buildings fly by without fully coming into recognition.

  Andrew’s hand squeezes mine, but I can’t squeeze it back. It hurts too much. Everything hurts. My eyes hurt, my head hurts, my heart hurts.

  I never even got to say goodbye. She never heard me say that I loved her one last time. Yes, she was neglectful for most of my life, showing me more emotional pain than love, but she was my mom and I needed her. And now she’s gone, forever.

  The car slows to a stop outside my dad’s house. I stare out the window, blinking repeatedly but not crying anymore. Somewhere along the way I stopped crying, as I listened to Andrew's voice constantly telling me that everything will be all right while never letting go of my hand. But it’s his face that pops into view as my car door opens. He’s crouching down next to me, releasing me from the confines of the car.

  I look over his shoulder and see the house. Daddy. I need my daddy. Daddy will help me. The overwhelming urge to see my dad has tears flowing again, but not out of sadness. Warm lips brush against mine, contrasting against the cold wind beating against my face. I turn my head slightly and finally see him, my Andrew, kneeling in front of me, helping me deal with everything I’m going through.

  “Andrew?”

  My voice sounds hoarse, almost distant, and my throat feels like sandpaper due to all the tears I have cried already.

  “I’m here, love. I’m going to take care of you, I promise. And so is your dad. We’re both here for you.”

  He helps me out of the car and I wobble on my feet as they hit the ground. With his arm wrapped around me as support, we climb the stairs to the front of the house. A gust of wind wakes me up further and I focus on the person standing in the doorway with outstretched arms, looking at me with sad eyes.