Hard To Love

by Tina Rose

  Chapter Seven

  The drive back to Moonshiner’s to get Ella’s car was awkward and silent. All she wanted to do was get as far away from Carter as she possibly could. She had let herself get carried away last night. Ever since Ella was four years old, she had always been the one to take control of everything. When her father was killed in a motorcycle accident, her mother lost her will to live. Four year old Ella had been the one to step up and play the parent to her mother. Once her mother had met Ella’s stepfather, and her baby sister Liv, had come into this world, Ella had been the responsible one for her too. Letting Carter take the lead in the bedroom should’ve scared her, but it seemed so natural, and that is what actually scared the shit out of her.

  Inconspicuously looking at Carter from the corner of her eye, Ella noticed the muscles in his forearms, the thick veins that popped up as he gripped the steering wheel, on the same arms that held her so tightly this morning. His skin was tan, making his beautiful blue eyes sparkle in the sun, and his unshaven stubble made him look so much older than he was. What in the world would such a sexy young man want with her? Ella wasn’t stupid, she knew women followed Carter like a dog chased its tail. Young gorgeous women at that, ones like the cowgirl last night. Ella flinched at the thought. An itch he needed to scratch, that’s what she figured last night had been about.

  As they pulled into the parking lot, Ella saw Carter’s jaw began to tick. He was probably just as uncomfortable as she was. Before the truck came to a complete stop, Ella was unbuckling her seatbelt to make a mad dash to the safety of her own car. Too bad she couldn’t figure out how to unlock his damn doors to accomplish her goal.

  Hearing him taking a deep breath, she felt Carter shift in his seat, but didn’t want to make eye contact with him.

  “El,” he said her name so soft and sensuous, it set off a spark down deep in her soul, and she loved that he called her El.

  “Thanks for the ride, Carter,” she said, trying desperately to open the door so she could bolt from his truck.

  “Why are you always trying to run from me?”

  “I’m not,” she said nervously, biting her bottom lip, still not making eye contact.

  “No? So you’re not trying to rip my door off its hinges so you can run to your car and get away from me?” he asked, chuckling.

  “Carter,” she said, taking a deep breath, finally turning in her seat to face him. His piercing blue eyes took her by surprise, and she couldn’t think straight for a second. Turning her head, Ella said, “Let’s just call a spade a spade, okay?”

  “A spade a spade?” He was confused as hell. What was this woman talking about?

  “I know last night was just an old itch you needed to scratch. It’s okay, I needed to scratch it too. Let’s not make this anymore awkward than it already is.”

  “I’m not trying to make this awkward. I was trying to make a time to see you again.”

  “What for?” she blurted, confusion written across her face. “Wasn’t last night bad enough?”

  Well, that certainly wasn’t the reaction Carter was expecting. “Bad enough? What is that supposed to mean? You sure are rough on a man’s ego, sweetness.”

  “I didn’t mean you were bad, you were great.” Heat rushed up her cheeks as she realized the words that had just slipped out of her mouth. “I mean, last night was great. I just mean, oh hell, I don’t know what I mean.”

  Carter chuckled again, reaching up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Ella’s ear. He was in a new place himself. Usually, spending more than a twelve hour time span with the same woman gave him the hebbie jebbies, but here he was trying to figure out a way to get this woman to spend more time with him. It had to be the thrill of the chase. Once she gave in and stopped fighting him, he’d be back to normal.

  “When do you want to get together to discuss your sister’s charity event?”

  Now Ella really felt stupid. Here she thought he wanted to see her again, and all he wanted to do was discuss the charity event. Dumbass. Of course he didn’t want to see her again. Men like Carter were love’em and leave’em kind of men. Why did it hurt so much to think about that thought?

  “Carter, you really don’t have to do this. I will find someone else. It’s not your responsibility, it’s mine.”

  “Ella, not everything has to be your responsibility. I want to do this. I told you already, this is something that means a lot to me too. Here,” he said, reaching for her phone sticking from the side of her purse in her lap.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, watching him dial a number from her phone.

  “I’m exchanging our phone numbers. I’ve called my phone, so now you have my number, and I have yours. Call me when you know more details about the show, okay?”

  “Okay,” she replied, watching him climb out of the driver’s side of the door. God, everything he did was breathtaking, even something as menial as climbing out of a truck. Ella watched as he came around to her side and opened the door to help her out. As her feet hit the ground, he pulled her to him with one strong arm wrapped around her back. Cupping her chin with the other, he tortuously kissed her, parting her lips with his tongue, probing the inside of her mouth in a methodical way, leaving a flame burning deep in her soul as he pulled away.

  “And kitten, for the record, I’m still itching.” Slapping her on her backside, he winked as he walked away, leaving her craving more.

  ********

  “So, you and Carter have a good time last night?” Liv asked as Ella walked into the kitchen of her house.

  “Ugh, do you have to talk so loud?” Ella groaned. “My head is killing me.” Making her way to the coffee pot, she pulled a coffee mug from the cabinet above the machine and filled her mug with the hot drink before taking a long sip.

  “Yuck! How do you drink that shit, much less without cream or sugar?” Liv asked, scrunching up her face in disgust. She was not a coffee drinker herself. “And don’t pretend you didn’t hear me.”

  “Carter Dawson is an arrogant asshole, and now, because of you, I’m stuck dealing with him until after this benefit is over.” Ella said, shaking her head. “I swear, he makes me act like a damn two year old.”

  Liv laughed, “A two year old? What are you talking about?”

  “He drives me to drinking, then causes me to have temper tantrums and has the nerve to call me down. I can’t handle his immaturity. I’m too old for the bar scene.”

  “I don’t know why you always talk about yourself like you’re sixty years old, Eleanor.”

  “Well, I’m older than he is, and definitely more mature. He’s in a permanent state of puberty. He’s the exact same now as he was when I first met him six years ago. And stop calling me Eleanor,” She scowled.

  “Oh my God, he’s the one!” Liv squealed.

  “Olivia,” Grabbing the sides of her head, Ella called her sister down, as her shrill voice echoed through her throbbing head. “I told you my damn head is hurting. Where is the ibuprofen?” she asked, looking through the kitchen cabinet that housed all their medications.

  “I’m sorry,” Liv snorted, jumping up from the bar stool and pulling a white pill bottle from her cross body purse and pushing them toward his sister. “Here, take mine.”

  “Thank you. Remind me to buy more at the store would you?”

  “Stop changing the subject. He’s the one, isn’t he?” Liv asked wild eyed. “You told me about the younger guy you hooked up with after you found dumbass humping his secretary in your room. It was Carter, wasn’t it?”

  Releasing a long sigh, Ella admitted to the secret she had been holding in for six long years. “Yes,” she confessed.

  “I knew something was up between you two yesterday at the stables. He was way too intimate with you.”

  “Intimate? You call that intimate? He’s a caveman.” Ella
rolled her eyes as she thought back to the way Carter had thrown her over his shoulder, and locked her in the tack room. Tantalizing sensations ran up her spine as she thought about the spanking he had given her, bringing out a yearning in her she had never known existed.

  “Well, apparently you like cavemen, sister,” Liv laughed, patting Ella on the back as she made her way to the refrigerator for a bottle of water.

  “He’s a man child. A child stuck in a man’s body. He thinks he can just take what he wants without any thought to how it affects the other person. Last night was just another mistake to add to my long list of stupidity.”

  “Yeah, but what a body he has, damn,” Liv whistled. “So spill it, is he as good as he thinks he is, or is his ego bigger than his dick?”

  Ella spit out the drink of coffee she had just put in her mouth at her sister’s perverted question. Yes, they were related. Ella tried to think where they had picked up such foul mouths.

  “Come on, I said spill it, not spit it,” Liv said, wiping the coffee her sister had spit off the front of her shirt.

  “I’m not having this talk with you.”

  “Why not? I tell you all about my conquests.”

  And she certainly did. Always showing Ella her ever growing collection of pecker pictures from the parade of perfect men that texted her daily, making Ella green with envy every time she saw one.

  Grinning like a possum, Ella’s eyes lit up as she thought back to the way Carter had blindfolded her and given her round after round of mind blowing orgasms. “No, they’re about the same size. I don’t have that many men to compare to, but he sure made me forget any other man’s name that’s ever left my lips.”

  “Hell yeah, sister, I’m happy for you. You needed those cobwebs cleaned out.”

  “Olivia!” Ella shrieked, but grinned as her cheeks reddened from embarrassment.

  “So, when are you seeing him again?”

  “I need to set up a meeting with him later this week, after we decide on a date for the benefit.” Ella said, emptying her coffee into the sink, and rinsing out her cup.

  “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

  “We’ve scratched that itch, now we can move on. The only reason I need to see Carter Dawson is to raise money for your horses. After that, I can go back to avoiding him like the plague, and he can go back to his young fangirls.”

  “He’s not that much younger than you El. What, three years maybe?” Liv asked sarcastically.

  “Try five,” Ella answered dryly. “And, he still acts like he’s twelve.”

  “That’s still not that much of an age difference. And it didn’t matter when you were screwing his brains out six years ago.” Liv said, coyly. “Or last night for that matter.”

  “That’s not fair Liv, I was hurt and drunk that night. I wasn’t thinking straight. All I could think about that night was how damn sexy he was. And he was talking to me, Ella Reid, the woman who wasn’t good enough for her husband, so her husband went out and found someone else.”

  “El, Derek was an asshole. Still is. And a dumbass to boot. You were the best thing he ever had. Don’t let his stupidity effect how you look at yourself. You always sell yourself short. You are beautiful, smart, and successful. You don’t need a man to take care of you.” Liv said, hugging her sister tightly. “And you sure as hell don’t need to let a loser like Derek Brown make you feel any less of a woman.”

  “Yeah, but having a twenty-one year old sex god sure helped make me feel better. And now, I’m thirty something.” Ella could never bring herself to say her actual age. Turning thirty had hit her hard. She had gone out drinking on her thirtieth birthday with her best friend Becky, and cried on her shoulder all night. “What on earth is wrong with Carter to even be looking at me when he has a dozen beautiful young girls falling at his feet?” Ella asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

  “Sis, you are a beautiful woman. He sees what you don’t. Just go with it for once. If he makes you feel good, why the hell not get as much of that as you can? I sure as hell would.” Liv snorted as she laughed.

  “Speaking of getting as much as you can,” Ella grinned. “You and Gabe were getting pretty cozy out on the dance floor last night.”

  “He’s a good time. We like each other, and have great chemistry in the sack. He’ll do for now,” Liv shrugged, as she put her shoulder bag over her head. “Now, I’m going to go see the only man in my life that I truly love.”

  “That damn horse gets better treatment than the humans in your life.” Ella laughed.

  “Yeah, too bad I can’t marry my horse. He’s always there to listen, and he never talks back or tells my secrets. He’s always there to carry me when I can’t carry myself. He’s my best friend.” She smiled fondly, thinking about the horse she had gotten on her eighteenth birthday. Buckshot had been a rescue horse and the reason Liv had always wanted to start a horse shelter. The beautiful bay horse was the love of her sister’s life, and now the reason Ella was stuck dealing with Carter Dawson.

  Chapter Eight

  Carter could not get Ella out of his mind. Driving back to his cabin on the lake, he replayed their conversation back in his mind. She acted like she could care less if she ever set eyes on him again. This woman was grating on his nerves. Stop thinking about her then, dumbass! Easier said than done, obviously. It was that dirty mouth of hers, had to be. Or that curvaceous body he loved to run his hands over, or her amazing green eyes he saw every time he closed his. Slamming his hand down on the steering wheel, Carter cursed himself for his asinine behavior. Last night was supposed to get Ella out of his system, not imbed her in his memory. But now all he could think of was how he was going to get to see her again, and when.

  Pulling up to his cabin, Carter saw Gabe digging in his diamond plated tool box on the back of his pick-up truck.

  “Hey man, what’s up?” Carter called, as he climbed down from his seat.

  Gabe turned, holding a black Mossberg .270 rifle in his hands. “Hey bud, look at my new toy. Thought we could go out on the four wheelers and sight this sucker in.”

  “That’s nice, man, let’s go fire it up,” Carter said, smiling at his longtime friend.

  “Glad to see you smiling this morning. Must’ve had a good night, huh?” Gabe grinned.

  “Yeah, I guess you can say that,” Carter answered with a frown.

  “Dude, what is with you? You’re mean as the devil when you don’t get laid, and miserable when you do? What the hell?”

  “Shut up Gabriel. I’m not miserable. I just don’t want to talk about this,” Carter said, stalking off toward his front porch.

  “What? Couldn’t get the flag up the pole? It happens man, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

  “Gabe, I’m warning you, shut the hell up.” Carter warned.

  Knowing he was getting Carter’s goat, Gabe continued poking the bear. “Seriously man, you are getting older. It happens to the best of us.”

  “Gabe, I swear to god if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna shoot you with your own damn gun.” Carter growled.

  “Okay, okay. Edgy much?” Gabe snickered. “Well, I don’t know about Ella, but her sister is a damn freak. That girl rode my dick like she was barrel racing at the rodeo.”

  Carter chuckled at his friend and shook his head. “You’re a pig you know that?”

  “What?” Gabe shrugged looking confused.

  After loading the ATV’s down with everything they thought they’d need, they rode out through the middle of the wooded area by Carter’s house, and came to a clearing where they set up a steel gong about one hundred fifty yards away. By the time they shot off a couple of rounds, they decided a beer was in order.

  “Damn, I like this lightening trigger. I think it’s the best trigger of all my guns.” Gabe bragged.

  “Maybe you
’ll get that ten point buck you’ve been belly aching about this season.” Carter teased.

  “Maybe. I do think she’ll be my favorite one this season. Maybe the favorite of my whole collection.”

  “Do you ever think maybe you’ll want to settle down with just one girl?” Carter asked seriously.

  “Do you ever think maybe you’ll always want to eat vanilla ice cream?” Gabe hooted. “Hell no I don’t want to settle down with one woman. And I sure as hell don’t want a bunch of hellions running around. Is that what’s going on with you?” he asked in disbelief, disgust written across his face. “Snap out of it man. You have a record deal coming up. The last thing you need is a damn woman hanging around your neck, weighing you down. They don’t call them the old ball and chain for nothing man. You are twenty-seven years old, you have a lifetime to think about settling down.”

  “I don’t know man. I love the nightlife, don’t get me wrong. But I love being at home too.” Carter took a long pull from his beer, looking out at the serene picture in front of him. “The thought of waking up to the same woman every morning for a while might be nice,” he declared.

  “After you make your first million, then you can wake up to the same woman every morning if that’s what you still want, and in any damn house that you want. Right now, you need to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, and stop thinking about a woman.”

  “You know that’s my momma’s dream, man, not mine. I’m happy right where I am.” Carter argued.

  “Yeah, but you promised her on her death bed that you’d at least give it a shot. You can’t give up now. She’ll come back and kick your ass.” Gabe chuckled. Being Carter’s best friend for years, he’d seen Carter’s momma in action, and she had been a force to reckon with. It had been hard on everyone around to see her deteriorate with stomach cancer the way she did, especially her baby, Carter.

  “I know what I promised, Gabe. You think I don’t remember?” Carter grated.

  “Well, if you’re talking like this, I think you need a reminder. And you forget, I made a promise too,” Gabe said creasing his eyebrows. “I promised her I’d keep you outta trouble, and that’s what I plan on doing. I ain’t having her come back from the grave to kick my ass, no sir brother.”