Hard To Love

by Tina Rose

  “Maybe you’ll be the one to break me, baby.” he replied. “Promise me one thing?”

  Ella looked suspiciously at him. “What promise?”

  “Promise you won’t run from me anymore. That whatever is wrong, you’ll come talk to me, okay?”

  The sincerity in his voice melted her heart, and the look he gave her made her feel vulnerable and naked. She knew at this moment, she was all his, hook, line and sinker. And as much as he thought she would break his heart, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, it would be her heart that would be broken in the end.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Okay, now that that’s settled, go riding with me?” he asked.

  “Riding on what?” she inquired.

  “A bus,” he teased. “C’mon, on a horse.”

  “Oh, no thank you. Horses are Liv’s thing, not mine. I like to ride on things that don’t have minds of their own.”

  “Come on, don’t be scared. I’ll be right there for you.”

  “I’m not scared. I just don’t want to go. I tried to ride a few times, but never got the hang of it. The horse always went in the opposite direction that I wanted to go.”

  “You won’t need to worry about that. I want you riding my horse, with me,” his eyes gleamed with mischief.

  “I don’t know Carter. Why are you looking at me with that devilish smile?”

  “I’ve had a fantasy about you on my horse, since the first night I met you. So, guess, what? You’re going.” Grabbing her by the hand, Carter began leading her to his truck.

  “Carter,” Ella dug her heels in, trying to stop him while catching her breath from laughing so hard. “I can’t go right now. I have a meeting for the benefit.”

  “What are y’all doing out here?” Liv asked, stepping out of her office.

  “Screw your meeting, she’s coming riding with me,” Carter chuckled, picking Ella up by the waist, spinning her around and heading toward the exit again.

  “Eleanor, you’re right. He is a caveman. Dude,” Liv laughed. “Every time I see you, you’re trying to carry her off someplace.”

  Carter jokingly grunted like a caveman would, burying his nose in her hair, and inhaling deeply. “Mmm, my woman, don’t make me get my club.”

  “Yeah, for God’s sake, don’t give the jackass a damn club,” Gabe intervened, entering the room with a limp. “He’s already dangerous enough.”

  “Keep your hands off my woman, and we won’t have a problem, dickhead,” Carter huffed, pulling Ella tighter against his chest. He was being possessive, but he didn’t care, not one little bit. For the first time ever, he found a woman he wanted to spend all his time with, and keep her all to himself. And it didn’t scare him or make him want to run for the hills.

  Gabe hooted. “So, does this mean you’re off the market?”

  Carter met Ella’s waiting eyes. “Hell yes, it means I’m off the market,” he smiled.

  “Holy hell! This is a day for the history books. Who would’ve thought the elusive Carter Dawson would be in a relationship with someone other than himself. Think of all the hearts that will be broken.”

  “Shut up, dumbass.” Carter snapped.

  “It’s such a touching moment,” Gabe mocked, wiping tears.

  They all laughed at the bro-mance between the two men. Ella was blown away. Gabe was right. This was a historical day. The day Carter Dawson proclaimed himself a taken man. And she was the taker.

  Turning to Ella, Carter spoke close to her ear. “Finish up here and meet me at my cabin.” Before walking away, he brushed the briefest kiss over her lips, leaving her covered in chills and wanting more of him in his sexy, tight fitting jeans.

  ********

  Later that evening, Ella met Carter at his cabin by the lake. The view was breathtaking and serene, with the sun high in the sky, reflecting off the still water of the lake. It was soundless, except for the wind rustling through the leaves in the trees.

  Hearing the clopping sound of horse hooves, Ella turned to see Carter walking next to a beautiful Half-Arabian, buckskin gelding. His beautiful black mane shined in the glow of the sun, and his tail swayed beautifully as they approached Ella. He was a magnificent looking creature, no question.

  “Hey beautiful,” Carter smiled.

  “Hey yourself, handsome,” she grinned, like a school girl who just ran into her crush.

  The buckskin horse came up to Ella, moving her arms to the side with his nose, and smelled her jacket pocket.

  “Whoa, boy,” she laughed, backing away.

  “Smoke, cut it out!” Carter pulled on the horse’s nose band. “Sorry. He’s looking for peppermints. Damn horse has a sweet tooth.” Reaching into his pocket, Carter pulled out two soft peppermint puffs and handed them to Ella.

  “Be forewarned, you will have a new best friend.” Carter teased.

  Carter opened Ella’s hand and placed a piece of the candy in the palm of her hand. “Just hold your hand flat like this and let him take it,” Carter instructed.

  Smoke sniffed her hand and very delicately took the candy from her between his two gentle lips. Prickly whiskers tickled her hand as his velvety nose briefly skimmed her palm. Stepping back two steps, Smoke shook his head up and down in approval of the sugary treat.

  “He’s stunning, Carter,” Ella praised, raising her hand to stroke the horse’s forehead.

  “Yeah, well, he’s a pain in the ass sometimes.” Carter smiled coyly, when Smoke lifted his head and nipped at Carter’s cheek with his lips.

  “I love you too buddy, but you’re still a pain in my ass!” Carter laughed.

  Yet another mysterious layer to the complex man she was losing her heart to, she thought as she laughed too.

  “Okay sweetness, you ready?” he tested.

  “Are you sure it’s okay to ride him double? I hear it’s not good on their back if the weight isn’t distributed correctly?”

  “You’re seriously gonna question me? I’m the horse guru, baby. You don’t question the guru,” he replied arrogantly, with his eyebrow cocked.

  “Whatever,” she rolled her eyes.

  “Okay, reach up and grab the saddle horn,” he said, showing her where to put her hands. Funny thing was, she knew about horses, he just assumed she didn’t. It was the actual riding she had trouble with. But, that was okay. She enjoyed the extra attention she was getting.

  “Now put your left foot in the stirrup, and push up on your right foot, then swing your leg over.”

  Ella followed his instructions and relished in the feel of his warm hand pushing up on her bottom as he helped her up in the seat of the saddle.

  “Comfy?” he inquired.

  “I am, but how will we both fit?”

  “We’ll manage.” Throwing his leg over the back of the saddle, he climbed on the saddle with her, as Smoke side stepped and swayed from the movement. And it was a tight fit, as he settled in the seat behind her. Spreading her legs extra wide, she scooted so far up the seat rise that the horn was pushing against the seam of her jeans. Intimate pressure hit her right in the wrong spot. Or the right spot, depending on how you looked at it. This was going to be a long, distracting ride at this point, and hadn’t even begun yet.

  Carter squirmed in the seat until he got himself adjusted. Meaning, he adjusted the bulge in his jeans right up against the split of her ass.

  “Yep, that’s a nice fit, don’t you think?” he asked, close to her ear, as he reached around to get the reins.

  Now, Ella had the saddle horn rubbing against her very sensitive sex, and his semi-hard dick at her rear. Really? How much more could she stand?

  Clicking his tongue, Carter nudged Smoke with his knees, and directed him toward the lake. The slow rocking rhythm deliciously thrilled all the right places. Ella’s body tens
ed as she tried to fight the sensations shooting through her body.

  Sensing her body stiffen, Carter murmured in her ear. “Loosen up, kitten. This is supposed to be a relaxing experience.”

  “I can’t,” she whined, embarrassed by her own arousal.

  “Why not?” he pushed, wrapping an arm around her waist.

  “I just can’t, Carter. I told you this was a bad idea.” Awkwardness swamped her, she just couldn’t tell him how turned on this ride was making her.

  “Ella, unless you give me a real good reason why, we are doing this.”

  Another wave of desire ran through her as she rocked forward against the rise of the saddle and a soft whimper escaped her lips.

  Understanding dawned on Carter, and a salacious grin spread across his face. Moving her hair off her neck, Carter began nibbling on the fleshly part of her neck, then whispered in her ear. “Relax baby, I’m gonna take care of you.”

  Slowly, Carter unbuttoned her jeans, slipping his hand down between the apex of her thighs.

  “Carter,” she breathed, when he grazed his finger over her feverish clit. “I don’t think…” she struggled futilely, but he tightened his hold.

  “Shhh. I know, kitten. I’m gonna make it all better. Just sit back here, and let me make you feel good,” he said in that low, raspy, sexy as sin, voice of his that reverberated throughout her.

  Ella’s stiffened body wilted into Carter’s solid chest. Already so far gone from all the contact on her body, she no longer had the strength to fight, nor did she want to. Reaching her arms behind her, she twined them around the back of his neck, and ran her fingers through his dark hair.

  Carter slid his hand up under her shirt, and pulled her lacy bra down under one breast, releasing the weight of it. Kneading it in his strong hand, he paid particular attention to the nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. Sexy little mewling sounds escaped her lips as he dipped one, then two fingers into her slippery passage. Carter couldn’t wait to wrap his hands in her long hair and pound into her. To smell her desire as he stole her breath away with every beat of her heart. But right now, this was all for her.

  With the heel of his palm he rubbed her, while tremors of anticipation rippled through her to the recesses of her soul. Ella felt his breath prickle her skin and every millimeter of her body became hyper-aware of his growing erection pressing against her backside.

  Carter pushed deeper, spreading her as he added a third finger. Grinding down on his hand with each sway of Smoke’s steps, her body began to shake and quiver with each nip, suck and kiss he placed on her neck.

  Feeling the greed of her body and her muscles clenching around him, he drug his fingers in and out, slow and methodically. “That’s it baby, let go. Come for me.”

  Fire flowed through her veins as rapture overtook her body. At his command, Ella tossed her head side to side, having one of the most powerful orgasms she’d ever felt. Still paralyzed and panting, her body shivered as he pulled his finger from her, and his lips moved by her ear.

  “I fucking love feeling you come apart in my arms. It’s become an obsession of mine.”

  Carter unwound his arm from her waist and sat back in the saddle, while she adjusted her clothes. She turned her head, and kissed him on the lips. He had this way of making her feel special, young and pretty. Still feeling his hardness on her backside, she felt guilty. That could not possibly be comfortable for him.

  “I’m sorry, I…” Carter cut her off before she could finish her statement, reading her mind.

  “Don’t,” he insisted. “Don’t apologize to me. You needed me to touch you, and I like that you need me.”

  “But now, you need me to touch you,” she smiled mischievously, straining to kiss his neck.

  “Oh, trust me, kitten. You’ll be doing more than touching me before the day is done.”

  “Promises, promises,” she poked.

  Carter chuckled, “We’ll see kitten.”

  Ella realized they had made it to a grove of trees, where Spanish moss hung low over their heads, in a dark, shaded area. She hadn’t even realized until this moment that they were still jogging along. It was as if Smoke knew exactly where they were going, without being directed. The thought crossed Ella’s mind that maybe this wasn’t the first time he had made this trip, and how many women he must’ve taken with him.

  “Seems like he knows where he’s going?”

  “He does. We take this ride all the time.” Ella cringed when she heard the words. Well, so much for feeling special.

  Carter felt her mood shift as her body stiffened against him. “Whoa. What just happened?”

  “What?” she asked curtly.

  “Don’t what me. You just went from zero to sixty in less than a minute. So, what just pissed you off?”

  “Nothing,” she answered flatly.

  “Oh no, sweetness. I may not know much about women, but I know when a woman says there’s nothing wrong, there is definitely something going on.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Uh huh.” Carter pulled on Smoke’s reins to stop him.

  “What are you doing?” Ella questioned.

  “We’re gonna get something straight, right here, right now,” he said, pulling her chin around so they could make eye contact. “When I ask you a question, I expect an honest answer. Even if you think it will piss me off, Ella. I don’t do relationships, at least I never have before. And if this is going to work, we have to be honest.”

  His honesty shocked her, and pierced her through the heart, knocking the last of the barriers she’d built to protect her from ever getting hurt again. Now, she knew with a certainty, this man would break her. But she also knew she had fallen completely, head over heels in love with him, and it was scaring the hell out of her.

  “So, I’ll ask again. What. Just. Happened?”

  Hesitantly, she asked in a small voice. “How many woman have you taken on this ride?”

  “Hmmm, let me think. Counting you?” he asked, musingly. “One.”

  “You said be honest,” she challenged.

  “I am being honest!”

  “Seriously? I’m your first?”

  “Cross my heart, darlin’,” he said, making the cross marks over his heart. “Why would you even question that?”

  “I don’t know. Smoke was taking us on this path, like he knew where he was going. I just assumed,” she shrugged.

  Shaking his head, he kissed her on the back of the head. “Stop assuming, Ella. I’m not perfect, but I’m trying here.”

  “I know, Carter. I’m sorry.”

  With a click of his tongue, Carter nudged Smoke, and once again they were off.

  Chapter Seventeen

  As they walked, she began noticing the pine scrub and the light getting brighter in the shade. Once past the clearing, they came upon one of the most beautiful sights she’d ever seen. Sugar white sand lay before her, with patches of sea oats sprouting from the sand dunes and in the distance, an old dilapidated pier stood in the gulf waters, looking like ancient ruins in the sunset. Colors of orange, reds and yellows swirled in the sky painting the most romantic ambiance.

  “Oh my God, Carter! This is gorgeous.”

  “This is my favorite place to be,” he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders in a tight embrace. “Outside of being buried inside you. That’s my new favorite place, by the way.”

  Ella bit her bottom lip to keep from letting out her little secret, and nodded her head, afraid if he knew, he’d go running with his tail between his legs. A man like Carter Dawson didn’t fall in love. This may be the closest thing Carter would ever come to being in love, and right now, she was just happy to be part of it.

  “After my momma passed away, I spent a lot of time riding, just Smoke and me. I always foun
d myself here. For some reason, I feel closer to her when I’m here.”

  Oh. Dear. Lord. Her panties melted with her heart. This tough as nails man had the biggest heart of anyone she’d ever met.

  Hopping off the back of Smoke, they stood there, staring out at the sun setting over the vast ocean, while Carter held her in a tight embrace. It was a surreal experience, as they stood there, watching the sunset, listening to the waves crash against the shore while the cool wind caressed her face. Ella had never felt more relaxed and at home than she did right here, wrapped in Carter’s tender arms.

  “Look,” he said quietly, pointing directly in front of them. A large, white tailed deer lay in the white sand, eyes closed, basking in the remaining sunlight.

  Ella spoke softly. “Carter?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Your father is wrong.”

  “About?” he asked, confused.

  “You’re not hard to love.”

  Words caught on the lump growing in Carter’s throat. Turning her in his arms, he framed her face with his wide hands, staring intently in her eyes. This felt so right. She felt right, here in his arms. But, was he ready for this? Tenderly, he began kissing the tip of her nose, her chin, her forehead, still not able to speak. His feelings were stuck in his throat, causing physical pain. He continued to rain kisses on Ella’s face, gently, trying his best to show her what he wasn’t ready to say. That he truly cared for her, and that all his feelings for her were growing faster than he knew what to do with them.

  “Thank you,” he said thickly. “Stay the night with me? I want to wake up to see your beautiful green eyes looking at me with that sexy, sleepy look you get after I’ve spent the night buried deep inside you.”

  No words were needed, the look in her eyes said it all. The feral look she gave him was all the incentive he needed. Carter turned, hopped on Smoke’s saddle, and pulled Ella on his lap, straddling him. Wrapping his arms around her, he sat back, adjusting her over him so her stiff nipples brushed against his chest. Her sex pulsated in reaction, as his eyes stayed focused at her lips before lowering his head, covering her lips and taking them viciously with a moan of pleasure.