The Couple Most Likely To

by Lilian Darcy

  He managed to hold the words back, and heard John ask, Do you have Stacey there, by any chance? He sounded worried and impatient, and his voice was indistinct, cut across by static and background noise.

  Uhno, sorry, I dont.

  Because I couldnt get her at home and shes not picking up on her cell. Do you know where she could be?

  No, cant help you there, either. Is there a problem?

  Look, dont worry about it. Im pulled over on the interstate, and theres been an accident somewhere ahead. Were down to one lane, were crawling and its wet.

  Wet here, too. Jake could see the gray drizzle and poor visibility through his big windows, and the light had already faded considerably.

  The point is, Im going to be later getting to Staceys than I planned, and the twins are getting sick.

  Yeah? Jakes medical instincts kicked in at once and his level of concern notched up higher. Whats wrong?

  Its probably nothing. You know, theyre always teething, getting a fever for twenty-four hours and then it goes. Max was fretful earlier in the afternoon and he felt a little warm. Ella seemed okay. Now she feels warm, too, and Max is burning up. I wouldnt have started the drive if Id thought theyd get worse this fast. I didnt even think to bring medication.

  Are you thinking youll turn back?

  No, Im closer to Portland now so it doesnt make sense, but I just wanted to get hold of Stacey, warn her they may need the doctor tonight and make sure she has medication on hand to bring the fever down.

  Any other symptoms? Stomach pain or vomiting? Neck stiffness? Rash? Light sensitivity?

  I dont know. No vomiting. Neither of them have eaten much today. The other thingsI dont know. They dont seem too happy. Listen, Im going to get going again, because this traffic isnt clearing and its going to take a while. If you can get in touch with Stacey for me, Id appreciate it. He had to yell to make himself heard above static and traffic, windscreen wipers, fretful twins and rain. I left a message on her machine, but there was a lot of distortion. I dont know if shell be able to make out the message, but I dont want to keep trying while I drive. Not in these conditions.

  Dont worry about it, John. Ill handle it at this end.

  I really appreciate it, he repeated, then ended the call, leaving Jake uncertain about the rising level of his concern.

  Two-year-olds with fever, bad driving conditions, crawling traffic, Stacey out of contact. What did it all add up to? A slow, frustrating evening? Or something much worse?

  He tried Stacey at once but got the same result that John had. A machine at her house, and one of those maddening announcements about her cell being switched off or out of range. Frustrated at these electronic dead ends, he grabbed a jacket and his car keys and left the house. He could go to a drugstore and pick up some likely over-the-counter medications for Max and Ella and deliver them to Staceys. If she was expecting John soon, shed surely show up.

  When he arrived at her place, she was already there. He saw the lighted windows, and glimpsed her shadow moving. He pressed her doorbell, not knowing what shed think when she saw him standing there, not having a clue how he felt himself, or where this might end up.

  Jake Her face froze instantly into wariness, and he could practically see her heart speeding up, thudding in her chest.

  Or was that his own heart he sensed?

  Where were you? he blurted out, as if he had any rights over the way she spent her free time.

  Taking my sister to the airport, she answered blankly. She came for a surprise visit. We had a really great time together. But what? Shed seen the drugstore bag in his hand.

  I have a message for you from John, he said.

  From John?

  He tried to call you. He left a message on your machine, but thought it might have been too distorted.

  I havent checked the machine. I only just got home. She went white and sagged against the door. Whats wrong? Why would he call you if?

  Its okay. Let me come in.

  She moved aside, her body angular and tight and her hand still gripping the door handle like a life raft. You have to tell me! Is it the twins? ComeCome Where? It sounded as if shed forgotten the rooms in her own house. She circled unsteadily. Just tell me, Jake.

  He stepped forward and held her. Arm around her back. Hand under her elbow. Because he seriously thought she might fall to the floor if he didnt. Theyre fine. Well, they have a fever, and Johns stuck in traffic on the interstate. Thats all, I promise.

  Okay

  I picked up some medication for you, and Ill stay until he gets here and take a look at them if you want.

  He hasnt had them at the doctor? He drove, when they were sick?

  I think the fever came on more quickly than he expected. Max only got fretful after lunch, apparently. You know what kids are like. And John couldnt have predicted that hed have such a slow trip.

  Bizarre. Here he was, defending her ex.

  The argument that had sent her angrily out of his house and into a cab yesterday morning wasnot forgotten, exactly. Just biding its time. Theyd have to get back to those issues eventually.

  She sagged again. Against Jake, this time, not the door. How long before he gets here? They shouldnt be traveling when theyre sick. Did it really only start after lunch, or did he just not pick up on it? How come hes this late?

  He said thered been an accident and traffic was crawling. Shouldnt be more than another hour, at this point, lets hope. He was over halfway here.

  She nodded. So Ill just have to wait. Thanks for coming all this way, and for picking up the medication. You didnt have to, Jake.

  She took the drugstore bag from his hand and made a vague attempt at turning him back toward the door. He could easily take the way out she offered, and get back to his own life and the difficult, responsible stuff such as deciding which pizza toppings to commit to this evening, but something in him rebelled.

  No. Im not leaving yet.

  Its okay. Really. Youre right. These things happen. Kids get sick.

  Another bizarre reversal. Shed begun to reassure him, instead of the other way around.

  I want to stay until John gets here, Jake insisted. I want to take a look at them. And I dont want you to have to be on your own while you wait.

  What did he say? How bad does he think they are? What has he said to make you think?

  Relaxrelax. Is it so incomprehensible that Id want to stay? He ran a caressing hand down her back but she turned neatly out of reach before he could make his touch more intimate.

  Promises, Jake? she said lightly. Remember? Commitments and responsibilities and taking the bad with the good. You have trouble with all that.

  Dont lets go there right now. This isnt about whether I should make promises. Or whether I can. Its just about He stopped and swore. I care about you Stacey. That hasnt changed. Let it count for something, even if its only to help you through one difficult evening.

  Im sorry, this is making me tense. We didnt part very well yesterday.

  We didnt, he agreed.

  They looked at each other helplessly, and he wanted so badly to kiss away the stress and uncertainty he could see in the way she held her mouth, but maybe shed seen the intention in his face because suddenly she pressed her lips together and turned abruptly away once more. Do you want coffee, or something, while we wait?

  Thanks. He followed her into her wonderful, quirky kitchen. The warmth and color enveloped him like welcoming arms. Light bounced off the gleaming porcelain of her teapots and she must have heated cinnamon rolls in the oven for a breakfast treat this morning because he could still smell the mix of spice and yeast. You said your sister was visiting. How is she?

  He remembered Giselle as vibrant, outwardly sure of herself and spoiledTrisha Handleys favorite, because she found her younger daughters priorities and choices so much easier to understand.

  Not so good, Stacey answered. She has a baby due in six months but her marriage is on the rocks. Which meant for the first time in our
lives we had a great time together, because we had some common ground. Doesnt that sound terrible?

  Sisters in marital misfortune, united against the world.

  She winced, and he almost laughed at the endearing way she was so hard on herself, sometimes. I told you it sounded terrible. I dont expect you to understand.

  Relax. Youd be unbearable if you were perfect, Stace.

  She didnt really hear him, because she was still working out what she felt and what she meant. He wanted to smooth away her frown with his fingers, or his lips. but somehow we actually listened to each other this time, and I discovered that from her perspective it wasnt any easier being Moms favorite daughter than being the one who never did anything right.

  And what did she discover about you?

  That I care about her, and would so much love to be close. I think we will be, now, even if she patches things up with Stirling-the-Multimillionaire.

  Which you hope she doesnt.

  Not to make us more equal, Jake, seriously, but his financial status was always the best thing he had going for him, and my sister deserves more than a platinum credit card to make her happy. Speaking of patching things up, though, is there any news on your cousin Jillians quest to bring the family back together?

  Were taking it slow. Im planning to test the waters with Dad the next time I see him. The rift was a lot wider and deeper than the one between you and your sister. But hey, hows that coffee coming? he added quickly, before all this talk of sibling rifts and sibling bonds could remind her of how worried she was about the twins.

  Hmm, its not, is it? She grabbed the coffeepot and went to rinse it out.

  Jake sat and watched her at workthe neat efficiency of her movements, the way her hair always fell forward when she leaned over a task. His heart twisted painfully as he contrasted what she deserved with what she had, and what he could undertake to give her.

  Not much.

  Complete attention and devoted spoiling every second or third weekend, and nothing in between.

  I want to marry you, Stacey, he rehearsed in his head. I want to be a second father to Max and

  Stop right there.

  He felt the blind panic setting in sharp and sudden, like a hard frost on a clear winter day. He felt the weight of responsibility like a millstone around his neck, and the possibility of hurt and loss and helplessness looming like the cloud of volcanic ash he remembered from the eruption of Mount St. Helens when he was a child.

  What if Im not strong enough? What if loving Stacey and her kids means never having another day of real happiness for the rest of my life because weve suffered some terrible misfortune and I have to carry the weight of her grief as well as my own? I was only eighteen when Anna died, but whats different at thirty-five? The heart is less resilient as it gets older. The damage would only be worse.

  Look at her. Shes strong and beautiful and she tries so hard. She deserves more than I can give. I promised to marry her once before, and look what happened. I cant do it to her again.

  I cant do it to myself, either.

  I wish hed get here, she said suddenly. She put her fingers to her mouth and chewed on a nail, and he remembered how she used to do that when her mother would make her feel inadequate about something.

  And the nail would get stripped to the quick.

  Jake went over to her at the sink. Hell get here.

  He didnt think about it, he just held her, buried his face in her hair and kissed any place he could reach. Ears and neck and forehead. Love burned in him like acid, so strong but doing neither of them any good. She was fabulous and he wasnt good for her, and he couldnt think of any way to change the situation.

  I love you, Stacey, he heard himself say.

  I love you, too, Jake, she whispered back. And I hate you for making me feel like this.

  I know.

  Whens he going to get here?

  Soon.

  The coffee

  Forget the damn coffee. He couldnt help it, he just had to kiss her, pouring everything he had into the contact of mouth on mouth. She kissed him back, lifting her face to meet him, holding him hard, kissing him with her heart more than with her body, giving everything she had.

  I hate you, Jake, she said, dragging herself back. Her voice shook. I really hate you.

  The doorbell sounded.

  Chapter Thirteen

  M ax feels so hot, John said. He hurried up Staceys steps with the little boy in his arms. Feel him, Stacey. I couldnt find the thermometer.

  It should be in the diaper bag. Stacey touched Maxs forehead and gave a hiss of shock at its dry heat. His cheeks were scarlet, Jake noted. The childs eyes were glassy and he seemed too silent in Johns arms. Sweetheart, youre feeling real bad, arent you? Hows Ella? She took her son from John as she spoke. The car had been warm so he was dressed only in corduroy trousers and a turtleneck. His whole body feels hot.

  I looked in the diaper bag, John answered. Shes not so hot, just listless. She said her tummy hurts.

  The outside pocket. It slips down sideways. Could you please at some point remember to buy your own supplies of this kind of stuff to keep at your place? Her voice was pitched too high, and when shed finished speaking, she bit her lip. This was hardly the time to make suggestions to John about greater efficiency in their shared care of the twins. Jake noted the usual double strand in the anxious exchange between the two parents.

  Ill get Ella, John said. And you can save the critique on my parenting for a better time, Stacey.

  Is there gear to bring in? Jake asked. He and John hadnt made the effort of greeting each other, theyd simply exchanged wary nods.

  Please, if you can.

  What are we doing? Stacey came in. Leave their gear. I want to take Max to the hospital. Both of them.

  The hospital? John seemed shocked.

  Jake took a deep breath. Stacey and John were both all over the place, the failure of their marriage more evident than hed seen it before. They hovered on a knife edge of tension and blame and defensiveness with each other, practically biting their tongues every time they spoke. It was up to him to stay in control, he could see.

  Will you let me take a look at both of them?

  Stacey turned blindly in his direction, with Maxs hot little head still pillowed limply on her shoulder. Yes. Please. Yes. Forget about their gear.

  Put him on the couch. Find that thermometer. And grab me a teaspoon?

  He made a quick, professional examination, while she scrabbled in the side pockets of the bag, cursing under her breath. Maxs glands were up. Jake used the spoon as a tongue depressor but it was too slippery and Max fought it. The rooms general lighting wasnt focused enough, either, so he couldnt get a good look. From the brief glimpse he managed to get, he thought the throat and tonsils looked red.

  Temperature was way high. He guessed the reading would hit between 103 and 104 degrees. He switched on the floor lamp beside the couch and Max turned his head away and hid his eyes with his hand, but the reaction wasnt conclusive. Most kids didnt want light in their eyes when they were ill. No neck stiffness, from what Jake could tell, and no sign of a rash, but on the other hand

  When did you first notice he didnt seem well? he asked John, who stood in the doorway, holding limp little Ella. She didnt seem like the same child who had catapulted onto Jakes swing set, two weeks ago, a whole ten seconds after discovering it was there.

  Half an hour or so before we set out.

  And he got quickly worse in the car?

  Yes.

  Responsibility kicked him in the gut again. He didnt think this was meningitis or any other potentially life-threatening illness. It could be strep throat, or maybe just one of those nasty, spiking fevers that heralded a common cold and needed to be brought down with medication and tepid water, but if he called it wrong

  Im too close, he knew. Doctors are told, Listen to the mother, and Stacey is scared, but Im picking up on her fear too much. I cant step back. I cant judge this, and I shouldnt
let it rest on my opinion.

  Take him to the hospital, he said, and saw Stacey press her hands to her mouth as she nodded. Just to be on the safe side, Stace. Theyll test for strep throat and a couple of other things. Theyll have antibiotics on hand.

  John?

  Put them back in the car?

  Yes. Jake, thank you for giving your opinion. Would you be able to lock up before you leave? II want to get going right away. Again, she was trying to send him home because he didnt belong.

  Sure. Then Ill follow you to the hospital, he said.

  You dont have to

  Please do not tell me that I dont have to come. He controlled his voice with difficulty. I know that. Im coming because I want to be there. I know most all of the pediatricians now, and that may help you get answers faster and clearer.

  Stacey just nodded, and he was left with no idea where their relationship currently stood. They loved each other. She hated him. They couldnt go forward, and they definitely couldnt go back. He was still so scared about the responsibility and the promises, but he was absolutely flaming terrified of losing her.

  In a flurry, she grabbed the diaper bag and jumped into Johns car. Jake followed them down the street, seeing the shape of Staceys head in the front passenger seat and Johns behind the wheel. Once or twice she looked in Johns direction as if they were talking but far more often she turned around and checked the twins in the rear seat.

  It felt so wrong to have her there in her ex-husbands car instead of here with him that Jake felt physically ill.

  At the hospital, they went through the usual progression. He rarely experienced it from the perspective of a member of the public and he was torn by another gut-twisting shock at how much he wanted to pull rank, yell at the triage nurse, No! Im not a family member, but I am a doctor at this hospital, and I want some medical attention for these kids now!

  With Maxs fever officially pegged at 104.4 degrees Fahrenheit, he didnt have to pull rank. The twins were both taken in to the pediatric section of the E.R. very promptly. Stacey went with them, while John stayed to fill in the paperwork. Hed parked in a five-minute zone just beyond the ambulance entrance, and theyd been here longer than that already.