Sunflowers
Page 30
Dr. Gachet seems an eccentric character with a nervous disposition. His face shows the lines of grief from his wife’s death some years ago, but any mention of painting brings a smile. He has an extensive collection, which he has already been good enough to show me: a very fine Pissarro, two fine flower pieces by Cézanne, among many others. He invited me to paint at his house Tuesday; he has a fine garden which will offer good effects, and I hope I can induce him to pose for a portrait.
When I asked about my illness, his response was that I should work boldly on and not think at all of what went wrong with me. He is a homeopathic doctor, knowledgable about tinctures and herbs, and said if I find the melancholy too much to bear he can lessen its intensity. But at the moment all is well, and I have no need of anything.
There is a great deal of color here. Middleclass country houses covered with flowers, more modern villas, and for me the prettiest of all, moss-covered thatched cottages which sadly grow more rare with the passage of time. It does not take much effort to imagine une petite famille van Gogh living in one of them, and I work boldly on (as Gachet says) with that vision planted firmly in my mind. I wait in eagerness for your letters, which will brighten my days and bring the South up to me. Here is the address:
V. van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)
With a kiss in thought,
Vincent
PS. I have heard nothing from the Ginoux regarding my furniture, this despite the fact I wrote them twice and made clear I shall repay any expenses. I may prevail upon you to visit Madame Ginoux and see about it.
28 May 1890
M. Vincent van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)
Mon cher Vincent,
Françoise and I just returned from Saintes-Maries-de-la-Mer, where we took part in the yearly pilgrimage festival in honor of Saints Marie Jacobé and Marie Salomé. We traveled by diligence for five hours through the Camargue, along a desolate road that trails through marshes and sandy plains of grasses. Thousands of people filled the village for the festival, attending Mass then gathering on the beach as the statues of the saints were launched onto the sea in their little boat. I’ve never seen anything like it, the singing, the weeping, the hope in the eyes of the faithful. I lit candles in the church and prayed that the blessed ladies might touch you in Auvers and your healing continue. I send you a carte postale from the festival so that you may keep it in your room. Perhaps you think it superstition—or perhaps you don’t—but I figure, any help we can muster is good help.
Then what do I find when I return to Arles? A letter from you that fills me with joy! I’m so happy you’re finding Auvers a peaceful place, and feeling strong and well. It sounds like Dr. Gachet is confident in your recovery, which makes me wonder if the Maries are already listening.
At Saintes-Maries I walked to the beach in the middle of the night to stand alone with my feet in the sea. I looked up to the stars to think of you far away, my longing to be with you so strong that it was a pain within me. I feel it even still, and I count the days until we’ll stand together to watch the stars above Auvers and our own little mossy cottage.
Ever yours,
Rachel
5 June 1890
Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône
Ma petite Rachel,
Your letter moved me near to tears, the thought of you bouncing in the diligence over that rough road so you could pray for me being more touching than I could bear. I placed the carte postale on my desk so I may think of you whenever I sit to write. My Pietà hangs in my room as well, so I have a trio of blessed ladies in Auvers, and one very dear girl back in Arles, to look after me. Which makes me a blessed man indeed.
Ideas for work come to me without stopping. I rise each morning around five and am in bed by nine. The people where I am staying are most kind, and I eat well of nourishing food.
I have become great friends with Dr. Gachet. Last week I painted two studies at his house, an aloe with marigolds and cypresses, then last Sunday some white roses, vines, and a white figure in it. I presented these to him to show that even if I cannot pay him in money for help he gives me, he can be compensated in pictures.
Sunday we dined with his son, about sixteen, and his daughter, a little younger than you. Dr. Gachet insists on having the housekeeper prepare elaborate four- and five-course dinners, although I tell him it is not necessary to go to such lengths. As I desired, I completed a portrait of the good doctor: the head with a white cap, the hands a light flesh tint, a blue frock coat and a cobalt blue background, leaning on a red table, on which are a yellow book and a foxglove plant with purple flowers. He was most pleased with it, and I think I will make a copy for him to keep.
Theo, Johanna, and the baby will spend a week of their holidays here before proceeding to Holland. Dr. Gachet visited Theo at his gallery to tell him I am entirely recovered, and to say he sees no reason why the attacks would return. I feel so calm and so much a master of my brush that I cannot help but believe him.
Two days ago I painted a picture I know you would like very much: a study of the village church, an effect in which the building appears to be violet-hued against a sky of a simple deep blue color, pure cobalt. The stained-glass windows appear as ultramarine blotches, and the roof is violet and partly orange. In the foreground some green plants in bloom, and sand with the pink glow of sunshine on it. This very old church sits on a hill above the town as if presiding over it, while above it still lie wheatfields on a plateau.
How I look forward to sharing this place with you, ma petite! The more I see Theo this summer, the easier it will be to broach the subject of our marriage with him. When the opportunity presents itself, I shall seize it.
With a kiss in thought,
Vincent
13 June 1890
Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône
Ma petite Rachel,
Theo, Johanna, and my nephew came to Auvers this past Sunday for a luncheon at Dr. Gachet’s, and we spent a splendid afternoon. Dr. Gachet and his children got on well with Theo and Johanna as I knew they would, Theo having met the doctor before and Mademoiselle Gachet being old enough to be a good companion to Johanna. I introduced le petit to the animals in Dr. Gachet’s yard to his great amusement and mine as well. After luncheon we went for a long walk along the banks of the Oise, and Theo came to the auberge to look at my paintings.
I have done more studies of houses among the trees, a study of vineyards, and just yesterday a size 30 canvas of a landscape in the rain: fields as far as the eye can reach, all different kinds of green growth, a little carriage, and a train in the distance. Soon I hope to paint Mademoiselle Gachet, perhaps at her piano. I continue to feel strong and healthy, my mind more quiet than it has been in a long time.
I had a letter from Madame Ginoux. Monsieur Ginoux was seriously wounded by a bull when he was helping a friend unload animals from a wagon, which is why I had not heard sooner. Madame Ginoux assures me that my furniture will soon be on its way.
Take care, my girl, and I look forward to reading more of your news soon.
With a kiss in thought,
Vincent
16 June 1890
M. Vincent van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)
Dear Vincent,
How nice that you are able to enjoy these leisurely lunches and strengthen ties with the Gachet family. I imagine Dr. Gachet could prove quite useful with his art collection and Paris connections. Useful too that Theo and Johanna have made the acquaintance of the Gachets and are becoming friendly with them. Perhaps when th
ey take their holidays in Auvers, Dr. Gachet and his daughter would be interested in hosting them. I don’t suppose you’ve taken any chances to speak privately with Theo about the future?
I am surprised you wish to paint Mademoiselle Gachet—I thought you didn’t care for petites bourgeoises and their fripperies. I suppose she has lovely manners and lovely clothes, and plays piano most charmingly as a well-brought-up young lady should? Presides over the tea table with elegance, dressed all in white? No doubt she can speak quite intelligently about art and painting, having grown up surrounded by her father’s collection. That will surely make for a stimulating afternoon, when the time comes for you to paint her.
Rachel
20 June 1890
Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône
My dear girl,
I do believe your impatience is getting the better of you. Theo and I have not had the opportunity to discuss things privately, but I assure you I am sowing the seeds. Chérie, was it not you who urged patience this time? Said we must not thumb our noses at Theo?
In Arles I imagine the wheat in the fields is gold and ripened as harvest time draws near, but in Auvers the harvest is several weeks away, and the wheat only begins to turn yellow. Things must proceed in their own time, or we risk everything. Do you think I am not also impatient? I lay in my attic room every night, looking for the moon out the window and thinking about how happy we will be when the time comes.
As for my painting Mademoiselle Gachet, do I detect a certain rivalité féminine? I am not sure whether to be amused or cross at the implications—or pleased, if one takes the view that jealousy is a barometer of affection. Ma petite, to paint portraits one must have models. Did I not paint Madame Roulin and Madame Ginoux? Madame Trabuc at the maison de santé? I have just finished a portrait of the daughter of the people with whom I am staying (in blue against a blue background), and I should like to find a country girl to pose for me among the wheat. They are models, only models all.
It will please Dr. Gachet for me to paint his daughter, and I will offer him the portrait in thanks for his friendship. It is not for me. If I remember correctly, I asked you to pose many times before you agreed, and I still have not had the pleasure of finishing a painting of you.
All this to ask you to trust me.
My work and health continue well. I have begun painting in a new format, canvases 40 inches long and only 20 inches high, which excites me. Already I have completed a study of the wheatfields, another of the chateau at sunset, and the third an undergrowth with two figures passing through a forest, a man and woman with arms linked. As I painted this new study, I assure you Mademoiselle Gachet was nowhere in my mind.
With a kiss in thought,
Vincent
26 June 1890
M. Vincent van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)
Mon cher Vincent,
I suppose jealousy and impatience did carry me away, and for that I am sorry, but I cannot help it. I am five hundred miles away from you, and I worry more and more, every day, that something will go horribly wrong when we are so close to happiness. I do trust you, please don’t think otherwise, and I know you are doing what you can to plant the seeds in Theo’s mind before speaking with him outright. It’s just so hard, my dearest. It seems like it has been for far too long.
The day will come when you will have no need of another woman to pose. In the wheat, at a piano (although I have no notion how to play), on your bed…anywhere you want me, I am yours. I do not think Mademoiselle Gachet would say that!
With all my love,
your Rachel
2 July 1890
Mlle. Rachel Courteau c/o Mme.
Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône
Ma petite Rachel,
I have had a disturbing letter from Theo. The little one has been gravely ill, caused perhaps by an infection from cow’s milk. Johanna herself has been sick for over a week, too sick to nurse, and the surrogate milk seems to have acted badly on the baby. The doctor told them the child will not die, but nonetheless Theo and Johanna are most anxious, and so am I. Theo says le petit Vincent wails incessantly and cannot be comforted.
The rest of the letter is unlike my brother, normally so calm and composed. He is contemplating leaving his gallery and starting one of his own with financial help from Dries Bonger, Jo’s brother. What can he be thinking with this idea? It can only bring failure and ruin. I refuse to believe Jo supports this plan, although Theo does not say. I can only hope it is born of worry and will fade away as the little one’s health improves.
Theo does say something that for us is very interesting: “I have, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you too will someday have, a wife to whom you will be able to say such things.” Is this the opportunity we have been waiting for?
I would like to go to Paris to be of what assistance I can, but Theo says I should not visit until Jo at least is feeling better. I plan to insist again that they spend their entire vacation in Auvers, as travel to Holland may be too much for Jo and the baby.
I am glad things between you and me are where they ought to be, even if impatience overwhelms us both. I shall take you up on your promise to pose for me, so prepare yourself for many hours of sitting—or lying—perfectly still while I indulge myself in looking you up, down, over, and under, and painting your figure until we are both satisfied.
The portrait of Mademoiselle Gachet is finished. The dress is pink, the wall in the background green with orange spots, the carpet red with green spots, the piano dark violet. Her father has promised to make her pose for me another time at a small organ to continue the musical theme.
Take care, chérie. I shall keep you abreast of any developments with Theo.
A kiss in thought,
Vincent
5 July 1890
M. Vincent van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)
Mon cher Vincent,
How distressing, this news about your nephew. Perhaps he’s just teething, and it is nothing more sinister than that? I hope both he and Johanna recover quickly. Please try not to be too anxious about them or about Theo’s ideas of starting his own gallery. I know what must be in your mind, and I beg you again and again not to worry. We will manage no matter what Theo decides.
At the risk of sounding like a terribly jealous fiancée, could you indulge me by not painting Mademoiselle Gachet again?
Ever yours,
Rachel
7 July 1890
Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône
Ma petite Rachel,
Yesterday I went to Paris to visit Theo and Johanna, and while I am glad to say the little one is much better, it was a most trying and difficult day in other respects. I intended to stay for a few nights, but found myself needing to flee almost immediately.
Such storms hang over us all that I feel very sad, as if my life is threatened at the root and my steps are wavering. I fear more than ever that I am a burden to Theo, that I stand between their family and true happiness. I would tell you all of what happened, only it pains me to think of it, and believe me when I say it would only upset you.
Today I tried to work although the brush almost slipped from my fingers. I painted vast fields of wheat under troubled skies, and I did not need to go out of my way to try and express sadness and extreme loneliness.
What is to be done?
Vincent
9 July 1890
M. Vincent van Gogh
chez Ravoux, Place de la Mairie
Auvers-sur-Oise
(Seine-et-Oise)
M
y dearest Vincent,
I cannot bear thinking of you in such a state, and I am terrified of what may have taken place between you, Theo, and Johanna to cause it. Is it Theo’s idea of leaving his gallery? Or, God forbid, did you talk to him about us and have it go badly?
Shall I come to Auvers now? I can get the fare. Please don’t give in to this sense of despair, and know that I love you with everything I have.
Ever yours,
Rachel
TELEGRAM—14 July 1890
To:
Vincent van Gogh, chez Ravoux, Auvers-sur-Oise
From:
Rachel Courteau, Rue du Bout d’Arles no. 1, Arles-sur-Rhône
Message:
Have not heard from you. Fear another crise. Please send word.
14 July 1890
Mlle. Rachel Courteau
c/o Mme. Virginie Chabaud
Rue du Bout d’Arles, no. 1
Arles-sur-Rhône
Ma petite Rachel,
I am sorry to worry you, please forgive me. I have not suffered another crise, although I feared for a time one might be simmering. Jo and Theo have both written this past week about the matters we discussed in Paris, and although our problems are not resolved, we are drawing closer to an understanding.
Theo asked Messrs. Boussod and Valadon for a raise in salary, with the proviso that if it is not granted, he shall resign. That discussion took place on the 7th, so we all wait with bated breath to discover the outcome. It will determine many things. I did not discuss you with Theo during the visit to Paris, please alleviate yourself of that anxiety. It was not the time.
Selfishly I long to tell you to board the train for Auvers, but I beg you to remain in Arles until we learn what will happen with Theo’s position. He and Johanna are coming to visit for a week. I expect many things to be discussed and settled during that time, after which we can move forward as we planned.
I wait for the day when these storms have passed.