The Sexperts: Fifty Grades of Shay

by Melinda DuChamp

  "Ooooooh." Chastity opened her blue eyes wide at him, puckering her rosy lips around the syllable. "This is so exciting. I'm all, I don't know... quivery or something."

  "A forced enrollment can be stressful for all parties involved," Peter said. "Would you like me to hold you until your fear subsides?"

  Fanny kicked Peter again. "She's fine. Let's move."

  They advanced cautiously into the suite and encountered a shaved-head white male of the large-muscled, tattooed, no-neck variety, approximately thirty years old, wearing a light green fleece jogging suit with a triple white stripe. He was lying on a pink sofa, watching professional air wrestling.

  As soon as Peter entered the subject's peripheral vision, Shay jerked to sitting. "Who th'hell are youse?"

  "Stop right there." Peter took a strong stance and held up his hand, impressively tough in his black leather. "You is already plural. There is no such word as youse."

  "What the—" Shay narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

  "We're from the Siemann Institute." Fanny gestured at him with her taser. "We're taking you in under Chapter Six, Article Two of the Company Statute, Unspecified Failure in the Bedroom."

  "WTF?" His face twisted into incredulity, he bounded off the couch with agility that spoke of considerable power and fitness. Peter and Fanny braced instinctively for a fight. "Failure? Whadya talkin' about? I came like four times."

  "Oh, really?" Fanny stared at Shay with contempt. "How many times did your fiancée come?"

  "It's not my fault if she's frigid." He jammed his hands on his hips. "I worked her all night long. Nothin'. She won't come no matter what I do. It was like boffing a sack of potatoes. And I should know. I grew up in Idaho."

  "Is that true, Chastity?" Fanny asked.

  "It is. He's from Idaho."

  "I meant about you never coming."

  "Actually..." Chastity's eyes were downcast, though it kind of looked as if she was checking out the impressive bulge in Peter's black leather. "He's right. I've never... had an orgasm."

  Fanny and Peter couldn't suppress their gasps. Chastity was Code Red. She needed their help immediately.

  "Don't worry. You'll be coming with us too, Chastity." Peter laid a hand on her shoulder. "We'll soon find out what's going on."

  "Oooh." She clasped her hands in delight, which made her large, creamy breasts crowd together, straining out of the low neckline of her dress. "You mean you'll make me come, Peter?"

  "It's my job, Chastity. And for you, I'm willing to put in overtime. I'll work tirelessly, day and night, going without food or sleep to… ow!"

  Fanny was getting quicker with the kicks. She pulled out her iBoard. "What's your full name, Shay?"

  "I'm not sayin' nothing."

  "Shay is short for Shanus." Chastity beamed at Peter. "His last name is Bungholls. Middle name Rex."

  Fanny nodded, wishing Chastity would stop giving Peter the eye. Ten years of working with him, he'd never once looked like the village idiot until now. She almost expected his eyes to pop out, like in a Tex Avery cartoon, complete with wolf whistles and his heart popping out of his chest.

  Men. Ptooey.

  "So your full name is Shanus Rex Bungholls."

  "Hey!" Shay made his meaty hands into fists. "You gotta problem with that?"

  "Not at all." Fanny gestured Peter to be ready with the taser. "It's straining a little too hard to be funny, but we'll overlook that this early in the story. Now let's go."

  "I'm not going anywhere with youse—you people. I know what they do in that Institute. They shove things up your ass. No one is going to shove anything up my ass."

  Chastity grimaced apologetically. "Shay has a thing about that. Really, he mentions it like four times a day."

  Peter whistled. "Butt-centric. Could mean a lot of things."

  "Don't worry, Shay." Fanny was losing patience. "No one will shove anything up your ass unless you want them to."

  "What?" He turned an alarming shade of purple. "You calling me a homo?"

  Fanny signaled to Peter. "We prefer the term 'same-gender-attracted.' But no, I'm not."

  "And I'm not going to no Insti—" He dropped like a stone.

  Tasers were wonderful things.

  "Oh, goodness!" Chastity wrung her hands. "Is he okay?"

  Peter took her arm. "He's fine, Ma'am. The hotel will have an iGurney outside. We'll slide him into Fanny's Vulvo and take him to the Institute where we can treat him."

  "You're amazing, Peter." She smiled up at him.

  Peter clenched his teeth together, holding his body rigid. "Th'nks."

  "Both of you." She stepped over to Fanny and touched her arm. "I'm so grateful."

  Fanny unexpectedly shuddered at the woman's touch. There was something blatantly sexual about it that made Fanny's body respond. Chastity was certainly beautiful, but one of the Institute's many rules was to never get personal with a client. What they did was science.

  Still, after the unsuccessful masturbation in her office, and her inability to quit staring at Peter's erection, Fanny was horny as hell. And Chastity's touch was making it worse.

  "You okay?"

  Peter was talking to Fanny. Fanny stared at him, then at his bulge, and managed a nod.

  "You look… different," Peter raised an eyebrow.

  That's because you've never seen me this aroused before, Fanny thought. If you kissed me right now, I'd come in my panties

  "Let's go!" Chastity leaped over the prostrate body of her fiancé and danced toward the room exit, her breasts bouncing, incredible ass swaying back and forth. "I can't wait to have lots and lots of really good sex!"

  Peter and Fanny stayed frozen in place.

  Peter made no move to kiss her.

  Fanny didn't come in her panties.

  She needed to get into the Masturbation Break Room, pronto, or she was sure her vagina was going to melt. Or explode.

  "She's… something," Peter said.

  Fanny considered kicking him again, but she didn't.

  Because she agreed.

  Chapter 2

  "Don't... need see... more." Fanny reached to stop the sex video Chastity provided of her and Shay's non-wedding night at the Cosmo, grateful that she'd darkened her office so Peter couldn't see her face. With clothes on, Chastity was enough to knock out an elephant. Without them...

  Fanny shuddered. I REALLY need some Break Room time.

  "No... more." Peter shook his head; drops of perspiration flung off of his forehead and nose. He looked as if he'd been through a marathon. Watching that bumbling hulk pounding away at Chastity's absolutely incredible body hour after hour in the same position, while she stared up at the ceiling with bewildered eyes...

  This was the kind of horror the Institute was out to prevent.

  And yet, as lousy as the sex had been for Chastity, seeing her naked was incredibly erotic.

  Fanny pulled herself together, determined to rise above her disturbingly powerful reaction to the sight of Chastity's full breasts and come-hither pussy, and to try to forget that she and Peter were alone in her dark office, both turned on out of their minds...

  "iPuter, light on." The light went on and the iScreen went dark. Peter's hands flew to cover his lap, which was... mountainous.

  If he'd just give her the chance to relieve that lovely ache...

  She cleared her throat, all official business in spite of the dampness staining her panties. "As long as men Shay's age still have no clue how a woman's body and brain work, as long as there are still those learning about sex by watching non-Institute porn, we still have work to do."

  "Yes." Peter mopped his brow with trembling fingers. "After all this work we should probably take a break, don't you think?"

  "Probably a good idea," she agreed, thinking about the Clit Buzzer in the Break Room.

  "I'm usually more professional than this," Peter said. "I'm sorry."

  "Me, too."

  He raised an eyebrow. "You too?"

&
nbsp; Can't he tell I'm as turned on as he is?

  Fanny knew arousal was much more obvious with men than with women, but she was sure she was exhibiting all the signs.

  But then, even with all the hours they'd put in together, Peter had never seen her like this. And how could he? For the most part, Fanny kept her sexuality hidden. She was the Executive Director, so she had to set the precedent. She was also a woman, and even though the Women's Rights Amendment passed ten years ago, sexism still existed in this future society. Many men would like to see Fanny fail.

  "Even though I'm your boss, I'm a sexual being, just like you are, Peter."

  "So you became aroused watching Shay pump away?"

  "Shay… is lacking."

  "So Chastity turns you on?"

  Same-gender sex had been part of Fanny's Institute training, but she hadn't enjoyed it all that much. Kissing women was hot, breasts were way hot, but the rest...

  Swampy and confusing.

  But that was BC— before Chastity. The idea of licking between her innocent, pale thighs...

  Fanny bit down on her lip, the pain reminding her she owed it to Hoyt Siemann to keep the Institute all about science. Before this, she always had.

  Well, okay, there was that one incident involving those bodybuilding Schlotzky twins. But it had been for their benefit. Plus it didn't really count because Fanny didn't swallow.

  Fanny finally replied. "Chastity is… an interesting case. There's something about her that is undeniably sexual, even if she didn't respond to Shay's primitive attempts at seduction."

  "He's a caveman," Peter said, his upper lip curling in disgust. "He might as well have been humping a mattress."

  "Agreed. Chastity didn't even need to be part of their lovemaking. If she'd left, he probably wouldn't have noticed."

  "So why are we both aroused after watching bad sex? Not to be improper, but I'm really thinking about going to the Break Room right now."

  Fanny desperately wanted to ask what equipment he planned to use, but reminded herself that was inappropriate.

  "Let's get back on track here," Fanny said, forcing professionalism. "I think Shay would be a good candidate for The Womanizer. Do you agree?"

  "Absolutely." Peter seemed to have himself back under control. "Rod or Willy?"

  "Rod for this one." She pulled out her iPhone and called the control room. "BJ please prep Rod Plunjir for the Womanizer. Shanus Bungholls, in examination Room 21. A hostile. As soon as possible. Thanks."

  "And Chastity?" Peter asked.

  "I'd like her to watch a basic porn video array. Hetero first, then if there's no response, we try lesbian and light bondage. Assuming we get her to masturbate successfully to orgasm, we can—"

  "I can help her," Peter offered, his expression akin to a puppy begging for a treat.

  "Excuse me?"

  "If she's never had an orgasm before, it's likely she doesn't know her own body. I just got my Level 7 Degree in Advanced Cunnilingus."

  "You did?" Fanny wasn't sure what else to say. In her private life she'd slept with a Level 5 before, and her neighbors had called the police because her screaming sounded to them like she was being murdered. "Level 7?"

  "Night school," Peter said.

  He moved closer to her, close enough for Fanny to smell the cinnamon gum on his hot breath. His eyes were so big, Fanny felt as if she could get lost in his gaze. Corny as hell, but true.

  "Night school is good," she said.

  "Don't think I'm gunning for your job or anything. I know you’re the most educated person on staff here. It's just I wanted to… I don't know… keep up with you… in case…"

  Fanny felt her heart flutter. "In case?"

  "In case you got fired or something."

  Fanny quelled the urge to kick him again. Instead, she remained cool and businesslike. "It's against Institute policy to get personally involved with clients."

  "Was that policy in effect when you spent that weekend with the Schlotzky twins?"

  The blush crept up Fanny's neck. "That was a special case."

  Peter put his hands on his hips, defiant. "So you can practice your Level 7 fellatio technique on two weightlifters in a non-controlled environment, but I can't put my advanced education to use in the lab?"

  Fanny was still wet from watching the Chastity video, and she came very close to ordering Peter to perform his Level 7 on her, right there on her desk. Then she could show him her Level 7, along with a few of her Level 8 and Level 9 skills.

  "In the case of the Schlotzky twins, it was my professional opinion that a surrogate was needed in order for them to achieve the level of confidence needed to take their newfound skills and use them in a real life setting. And there was no surrogate available with the required training."

  "It looked like they were sword fighting in your mouth, and you loved every second of it."

  Fanny couldn't have been more surprised if Peter had slapped her. "What did you say?"

  Peter turned a bright shade of red. "I… apologize, Fanny. That was entirely out of line and unprofessional. I don't know why I said that. Of course, you were only doing what their therapy required."

  She nodded. "No more, no less."

  Peter nodded. "No less, no more."

  But Fanny wasn't convinced either of them really believed that. She'd bent the rules, and even if she insisted to Peter that her Schlotzky twin weekend was all about therapy, she'd known, even at the time, that her motives weren't so scientific. She'd slipped up, and ever since, she'd been careful, very careful, not to cross that line again.

  But Peter was right about something else. Even though it was irregular for one of the executives to act as hands-on surrogates, occasionally there was a need.

  And in that situation, Seimann's policy was clear. Where there was a hole, find something to fill it.

  Fanny was a woman of science. A leader in the national movement for pleasure and enlightenment. She couldn't let her jealousy detract from doing what was best for Chastity Zoffal.

  "If you think Chastity requires your Level 7 cunnilingus technique, then I will back up your assessment."

  "Uh." He didn't move. Well, his feet didn't. His cock on the other hand, moved quite a lot, until it was sticking straight out, parting his lab coat and pushing against his fly. "On second thought, how about you monitor Chastity and I'll take Shay?"

  "Peter." Fanny fisted her hands on her hips, looking stern. "You're right. I'm sure your oral skills will be good for Chastity. Really good." She closed her eyes. "So, so, very good …"

  Fanny kicked herself this time. She really needed to get to the break room. And fast.

  "Are you okay?" Peter asked, looking as distressed as she felt.

  "I'm fine. I know it can be tough out there, Peter. But subjecting ourselves to extreme conditions and maintaining control is a professional requirement."

  "Yes. Of course. But…"

  "But?"

  "I have trouble every day around—"

  Fanny's eyebrows lifted. "Around...?"

  "Nothing." Peter shook his head. "Sorry. A moment of weakness. It won't happen again. I'll do Chastity—er take Chastity—uh, treat Chastity."

  He retreated to his customary impassivity, except he looked exhausted.

  Fanny frowned. As senior officer, it could be argued that she should be taking on the most perilous assignments. Maybe they should stick to procedure. "Of course you could also use more experience with the Womanizer."

  "Yes?" Peter lifted his head. "I mean yes."

  "Okay." Fanny sighed, feeling a bit better. "You take Shay. I'll monitor my original prescription for Chastity."

  "Thank you, Fanny." Peter's eyes came to life. In fact, they actually twinkled. "I'll make sure I remain professional from now on. I'll also make sure Shay gets something shoved up his ass."

  Fanny snorted. "You enjoy that. Good luck, Peter."

  He gave a short bow. At the door he turned for a lingering smile, and then left the room.


  Yikes. Fanny had been all anxious for Peter to become more human, now she wasn't sure it was a good idea. Much more of that fun and warmth, and she'd be ripping off his clothes and riding him like a biker chick astride a Harley.

  And that wouldn't be scientific or professional at all.

  But impossible fantasies aside, right now she had to watch Chastity and Chastity had to watch porn.

  Taking a deep breath, Fanny flung open the door to her office and strode back down the hall between the two buildings, up the elevator, then once again through the control room, waving to B.J., who was in the midst of eating a beef summer sausage, and into Monitor Module 5.

  Every examination and treatment room had a corresponding monitor module, and through the one-way portal into Examination Room 5 she could see Chastity wearing the Institute robe she'd chosen—loosely belted mid-calf silk so pale pink it was hard to tell where the robe left off and Chastity's skin began. She was perched on the edge of a powder blue iCliner, hands clasped, legs crossed, staring rather apprehensively at the iScreen mounted on the wall opposite her.

  Fanny took her seat at the control panel, and put on her iSet. "In place, check."

  "Check." B.J.'s voice came back at her. "Subject has been fully briefed."

  Fanny powered up the iScreen on the wall opposite Chastity. It began glowing vibrant blue, as did Chastity's eyes, wide with excitement. "Did she have any questions, B.J.?"

  "She wanted to know what was happening to Shay."

  "You gave her the standard answer?" Chastity would have been told that Shay was fine and getting the best possible care.

  "Yes."

  "Excellent." Fanny selected a Class 2TF video, hetero, mostly foreplay, emphasis on cunnilingus, with the intention of proving to Chastity she was not frigid and showing her that sex consisted of more than being pounded into numbness by a male gorilla. To accompany it, Fanny chose a throbbing female vocal soundtrack. "We have video in three... two... one... go."

  Picture came onto the iScreen gradually, a fade in of a man and woman in gown and tuxedo gazing into each other's eyes. The actors, Kent Getunov and Doumi Tillihertz, were married in real life, a wildly passionate couple, brilliant on film. All instruction videos were made at the Institute to guarantee quality and sound scientific and educational principles.