The Sexperts: Fifty Grades of Shay

by Melinda DuChamp

  Hoyt raised an eyebrow. "Yes, young lady?"

  "Your... I mean it's... huge."

  Fanny closed her eyes. Damn it. How could she and Peter have forgotten to prep Chastity about the mega-dick? "Uh, maybe we should go over the plan to—"

  "Really," Hoyt said drily. "What tipped you off?"

  "Well, I mean it's just hanging there like it should be on an elephant."

  "Chastity." Peter spoke sharply. "New topic."

  "I'm sorry." She curtseyed hastily, flushing. "I'm truly sorry. I was just so amazed. I mean you don't see a dong like that every day."

  Fanny let her head drop into her hands.

  Hoyt put his hand on his hips, face set in stone. "What does she have on underneath the dress? Assuming she gets that far with Dick."

  "Show him." Fanny didn't lift her head. Why bother?

  "Oh, yes, okay." There was a rustle of clothing as Chastity took off the dress. Underneath they'd chosen a pink lace slip, slit thigh-high on one side. "This."

  Hoyt cleared his throat. Then again. He backed away a few steps from Chastity, nearly stumbling. "Good choice. And under that?"

  The nylon swished luxuriously as Chastity pulled it off. Under the slip she wore a lace pink and white bra and thong panties set that was so hot that the first time Fanny and Peter had seen her in it, it had been three minutes before either of them could speak again and tell her to get dressed.

  "I'm wearing this, sir."

  There was silence in the room. Fanny put down her hands, still afraid to look at Hoyt's stony face. She should have trained Chastity better. The insult to his dignity was her fault.

  Something navy blue caught her eye, rising slowly until it jutted straight out.

  Fanny froze.

  Beside her, Peter froze as well.

  Hoyt's leg. His entire leg, sticking straight out in front of him. He looked like a toy soldier about to goose step.

  Chastity had done it again.

  Oh no. Oh no.

  Chastity gasped. "My God."

  "She's getting more powerful," Peter whispered.

  More silence.

  "Fanny," Chastity whispered urgently. "Fanny! Should I put my dress back on?"

  Fanny nodded, totally humiliated. They'd just have to sit there and wait for it to go down.

  Seconds passed.

  More seconds.

  Many more seconds.

  Many, many, many more seconds.

  It wasn't going down.

  "Sir?" Still dressed in only bra and thong, Chastity walked serenely toward Hoyt, leaving the smell of baby powder in her wake.

  Horrified, Fanny shot up and made a grab for Chastity's arm. "No."

  "Shhh." Peter's hand restrained her. "I think she knows what she's doing."

  "How on earth can she—"

  "Look at her."

  Fanny looked. Chastity had walked boldly up to Hoyt and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. In a flash, Fanny figured out what was different about her.

  Chastity was totally, maturely, supremely self-confident.

  "I think I can help you, Mr. Siemann, sir."

  His lips barely parted. "Hmphrgh."

  "It's the least I can do, sir." She turned to Peter and Fanny, calm, in control of herself and, apparently, the situation.

  Fanny was in awe. And proud. And way hot for her.

  "I think you two should leave," Chastity said. She reached around for her bra clasp.

  "What? But we—"

  "Come on." Peter dragged Fanny out of the room and closed the door before she could object further.

  She whirled on him, terrified that Chastity would do something to damage her idol. "Are you sure about this, Peter? What if she—"

  "Wait." He held up his hand. "Give it time. I think she might be the only one who can solve a problem this big."

  The seconds went by. Five. Ten. Fifteen.

  A low rumble came through the door, growing louder, higher and more bizarre until it sounded like Chewbacca—from the Star Wars series in case you were born under a rock—howling at the moon.

  Fanny lifted her head and gasped. "What is that?"

  Brief silence, then a shriek and a loud thud.

  Peter and Fanny rushed inside.

  Hoyt Siemann lay against the wall, several feet from where they'd left him, head lolled to one side, eyes unseeing, mouth in a huge smile.

  "My God." Fanny bolted over to Siemann, relieved when she saw him still breathing. "Chastity, what happened?"

  "Gosh, it was something." She shrugged and drew her hand across her mouth, blue eyes shining, cheeks flushed. "The poor guy came so hard he shot himself across the room."

  "He shot—" Fanny shook her head. "Chastity, you are dangerous."

  "I guess I am." She giggled and clapped her hands. "But hey, guess what that means?"

  Fanny sighed. "I'm afraid to ask. What does it mean, Chastity?"

  "That I'm totally ready for Dick!"

  Chapter 10

  "Okay. She's in the hotel." Fanny pressed the iSet to her ear, peering anxiously at the iScreen in the Institute's control room. On it, Chastity was visible crossing the lobby of the Center City Luxe Hotel, where the Strapping Oxen Club was holding their annual regional meeting in conference rooms on the sixth floor. Fanny had been thrilled to find out Dick Ouad had rented a suite for the duration of the conference instead of commuting from the house he shared with his wife and seventeen children.

  Obviously he'd enjoyed sex at some point. Hypocrite.

  The Institute had plenty of former clients among hotel management, so Peter was able to arrange for the guests on either side of Ouad's suite to be upgraded to new rooms, so Siemann could take them over. Institute caterers had equipped one of the rooms with a lavish spread and full bar; Peter and Fanny had invited every newspaper in the state and most had sent at least one reporter for free food and booze if nothing else. In the other room, Chastity would wait for Ouad. As soon as the Oxen Club meeting started, an Institute tech crew had slipped into Dick's room to install a full range of iSurvellance equipment.

  Back at the Institute where they wouldn't be seen, Peter sat next to Fanny at the main control panel. Behind them stood Hoyt, watching anxiously. B.J. was there, too, eating a footlong hot dog, which had plumped when she cooked it. She was staring at the screen practically without blinking. All of them knew what was at stake. All of them knew the fate of the Institute could rest in Chastity's hands. And breasts. And ass. And between her incredible—

  "She's checking in," Peter said.

  Fanny nodded, listening over her iSet to Phillippa Trojan, their undercover employee stationed outside the Oxen meeting room door. "Sounds like the meeting is breaking up."

  Tense minutes passed. B.J. opened a package of Twinkies. Their little crew would monitor operations and help Chastity time her emergence into the hall so as to bump into Dick on his return to his suite from the Oxen meeting. After that, it was all up to Chastity.

  "Doors opening on floor six. Meeting is over." Fanny glanced over to find Peter staring at her. Was it her imagination or was his shirt a little wrinkled? His hair not quite in place? Were those real live shadows under his eyes? Whatever the case, he looked more human today, and even sexier.

  "Target sighted." Fanny turned back to the screen, listening eagerly to Phillippa's voice, repeating her words for the control room group. "Dick is chatting. Shaking hands. Bad toupee. Bad teeth. Much fatter than expected. Really stupid hat. They're all wearing stupid hats. Horns on top, tails in back. What is wrong with men that they become so ridiculous when they're together? Do they regress or something? Is testosterone a proven toxin?"

  The control room crew turned to look at Fanny strangely.

  "What?" Fanny shrugged, who-me? "That's what she said."

  "Look." Peter pointed at the screen. "We have visual."

  Chastity was walking primly down the sixth floor hallway, absolutely adorable in her pink and white virginal dress. They'd added white flats
—Dick wasn't very tall—white gloves, a white cloche and a darling white purse with a pink rosebud clasp.

  She was irresistible. Fanny let out a long sigh. Peter shifted on his seat. Someone kicked the back of Fanny's chair.

  Luckily Fanny realized who it was before she turned around to glare.

  Hoyt. He couldn't help himself.

  On the iScreen, Chastity let herself into her room. The door closed.

  Another minute ticked by.

  Fanny sat bolt upright, Phillippa's words in her ears. "Dick is walking out of the conference room with a few friends. He's heading toward the elevators."

  Peter and Fanny exchanged glances. Their plot depended on Dick going right to his sixth floor room. If he was going out with friends, it could be a long night.

  "Elevator doors opening. Friends getting on. Dick waving goodbye. Doors closing! Target heading for his room."

  The control room occupants breathed simultaneous sighs of relief.

  "Chastity, one minute warning."

  "I'm ready." Her musical voice came over the iCommunicator they'd planted in her room. Fanny grinned. She sounded calm and confident.

  "Thirty seconds."

  "Chastity." Hoyt leaned forward to speak into Fanny's iMic. "This is Hoyt Siemann. We at the Institute—"

  "Oh, hello, sir. How's your rear end today? You hit the wall pretty hard yest—

  "We, uh... " Hoyt cleared his throat self-consciously. "We at the Institute salute you and wish you the best of luck, the best of skill, and the best of sex."

  "Thank you so much, sir."

  "Ten seconds, Chastity."

  "Thanks, Fanny. I won't let you down, I promise."

  "I know you won't, Chastity." Fanny's throat tightened with a flood of affection. The Institute would be able to operate at full staff again, but it would be tough when Chastity graduated and moved on to share her gifts with the world.

  On the iScreen Dick Ouad's bulk was seen waddling down the hallway toward his room, wearing a Boss Hogg white suit with a black and silver bolo tie, toupee at least three shades redder than his graying hair and... Phillippa was right, the stupidest hat Fanny had ever seen. Horns and tail.

  "Five seconds, Chastity. Four... three... two... one... go!"

  The door to Chastity's room opened just as Dick was passing. Chastity practically ran into him. "Oh! Excuse me, sir. I'm so sorry."

  "Well, well." He stopped and smiled at her, showing blindingly white teeth. "That's all right, little la— "

  "I should have paid attention to where I was going." She looked him full in the face. Her blue eyes widened in convincing surprise. She gasped and put a hand to her chest. "Oh my goodness. Oh my gosh, I can't believe it. You're Mr. Ouad!"

  Dick blinked twice. He coughed into his hand. "Yes. Yes, I am. And you are..."

  "Chastity. I can't believe it. I was just coming to look for you!"

  "Today must be my lucky day." He winked annoyingly. "Or maybe yours."

  "Oh mine for sure." She breathed the words at him. "Do you... I mean I know this is asking a lot, but do you have a second? I came all the way into the city from Faith's Hope to see you. I really need to talk to you."

  "Atta girl." Fanny couldn't stop grinning. Chastity was magnificent. Everything was going as planned. She put through communication to another Institute employee. "Jack Dilder, ready in five. Three, two, one. Go."

  "Ah, Faith's Hope." Dick smiled smarmily, probably not meaning to be smarmy, but he couldn't help himself. "A good little community. Lots of very fine people."

  "I wanted to talk to you about—" She looked over his shoulder and caught sight of Jack Dilder approaching, then shrank back against the wall as he passed them. "Dick. Mr. Ouad. Is there... I mean do you... can we talk somewhere private?"

  "Hmmm." His features turned suspicious.

  The control room went tense. "Careful, Chastity," Fanny murmured.

  "I don't know where. I'd suggest my room, but I don't think that would be appropriate." She looked at him sweetly, utterly guileless. "I mean you being a very attractive man and me a single woman, I don't think it would be right. There's a bed in there and everything. We'd need a chaperone."

  Peter made a sound of frustration. "Dangerous to feed him the chaperone idea. He might go for it."

  Fanny bit her lip. "I hope she knows what she's doing."

  "Except." Chastity wrung her hands. "What I have to say is only for your ears, so a chaperone would be impossible. Oh, I don't know what to do!"

  "Miss Chastity." Dick Ouad drew himself up to his full height, except since he was short, nothing much happened. "You are entirely safe with me. I can assure you. But if you'd be more comfortable, we can talk in my suite, in the living room. No bed in there."

  "Yes!" Fanny and Peter exchanged high-fives. B.J. put down her Twinkie to clap.

  "Oh, that is so sweet of you! Thank you so much." Chastity beamed and took the arm he offered for the short walk to his door. "It's so hard to find real gentlemen these days."

  "Here we go." Fanny punched up the camera and sound systems in Ouad's room. The iScreen switched to his luxurious suite, full size couch and Queen Ann chairs, gas fireplace and a mini-bar. "Behold the deep pockets of the Purity Foundation."

  "Please have a seat." Ouad gestured Chastity onto the couch. "Would you like a drink?"

  "I never touch alcohol, but thank you, Mr. Ouad." She arranged her skirt primly, tugging it down over her knees.

  "Please call me Dick. And good for you." He perched eagerly on one of the chairs opposite her. "It's nice to see young people who know how to behave."

  "Oh, gosh, I definitely know how to behave." She spoke with conviction, but the picture she made was so innocent-sexy that Ouad froze again, and again released himself with the double blink and cough.

  "So what can I do for you, young lady?"

  "I heard about all the good work you are doing trying to raise public awareness of that horrible Institute downtown."

  "The Siemann?"

  "Yes! Oh Dick, that Siemann stuff gets me so worked up! I get so darn hot!" Her prim outrage robbed the words of any other possible meaning, but Dick had to blink again anyway.

  Good girl.

  "Yes, Chastity. Siemann is a terrible curse on our city. When I think of all the young people openly going in there to learn how to sin... it's more than I can bear."

  "Yes. Yes! Oh, yes, Dick!" Her cry was just this shy of orgasmic. "This is why I'm here! This is why you are the only man who can help me."

  He puffed himself up, so far falling easily into her brilliant trap. "Talk to me, my sweet girl. I'll help you if I can."

  "I need to know..." She clasped her hands in her lap, eyes down. "How to control myself."

  "Control yourself?"

  "Yes, Mr. Ouad—Dick." She glanced up, then back down, her blue eyes those of a tragic heroine. "I get these... feelings."

  "What kind of feelings?"

  "Tin-gly feelings."

  Fanny was 100% sure that every single person within the sound of that voice was experiencing his or her own tingly feelings. She sure as hell was. She couldn’t help it, she stole a glance at Peter.

  "Dir-ty feelings, naugh-ty feelings." Chastity gave a damsel-in-distress sob. "I almost can't bear them."

  "Can you tell me exactly when these feelings occur?" Dick drew out a handkerchief and passed it over his forehead. It came away with a bizarre orange-y tint.

  "I had a boyfriend for a while, but he made too many of these sinful feelings come up in me. Like..." Chastity sat up taller, thrusting out her breasts. "When he touched me... in places."

  Dick made a choking sound. "You... enjoyed that?"

  "No." She shook her head over and over. "Oh no no no, I did not enjoy it. That would be wrong. You've said so, I heard you. I felt so guilty and so ashamed because I wanted him to keep touching me, and because I wanted him to do more, also. Much more. But we weren't married, so it was wrong."

  "You were right to come." Dic
k's voice was high and strained. "Er, to come here."

  "You can help me?"

  "I... I... I will do whatever—"

  "I want to show you." Chastity stood up, her eyes wild. "Show you what he did to me. Only then can I feel clean, Dick."

  "Uh..." His piggy eyes were fixed on her breasts. His tongue swiped across his already wet lower lip. "I think that's a good … a bad … an idea."

  "You can help me. I know you can. You're the only person I trust to do this with. I know you respect me." She ripped the dress open and tossed it aside, then dragged the pink slip over her head, and stood before him in her teeny tiny underwear set.

  Everyone in the control room moaned. Fanny's chair took another kicking.

  Dick started shaking. He stood up, blinking repeatedly.

  "He touched me... here, Dick." Her hands landed on her breasts, plump and rounded, pushed together in a glorious offering by pink and white lace. "And it made me feel so tin-gly."

  Dick's shaking became violent. His color deepened. He looked like a volcano about to explode.

  "But it got worse!" Her face showed genuine agony. "He touched me here. Like this."

  One pale hand traveled down over her stomach to the tiny thong. She drew her fingers up and down over the tiny swatch of lace that covered her pussy.

  "Oh... no." Dick's dick was pushing out his pants. He covered the generous bulge with his hands, clearly dismayed. "Oh no."

  "Oh no is right!" Chastity looked around the room like a woman possessed. "It's worse than I told you. I'm so nasty and so terrible! I’m having those tingly feelings again right now."

  "N-now?" His face turned redder. "Why n-n-now?"

  "It started happening when we started talking about my boyfriend touching—no! That's a lie!" Her face showed nothing but bewilderment and shame. "I can't lie to you, Dick. The tingly feelings started when I saw you in the hall! I've never felt them this strong. What is it, Dick? What is happening to me? How can I get it to stop?"

  "You must... " He stood, clearly at a loss. "You must, um... not, uh..."