Rejection Runs Deep (The Canleigh Series, book 1: A chilling psychological family drama)

by Carole Williams

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Vicky. What could be more natural that a member of the family being there with her … and anyway, I want to. I have to. She’s promised a nice little sum of money for supporting her but even if she hadn’t, she’ll be really grateful if she gets off … and I receive far more physical satisfaction from her than I ever have from you … she’s damned good in bed, I have to say.”

  Every word he spoke struck a dagger through Vicky’s heart. He was wounding her far more than he could ever realise. The man she had fallen so heavily for was nothing but a rotten cheat and he was loving every minute of humiliating her. It hurt so badly, she didn’t know whether to cry, scream, or hit him.

  “I would have done anything for you,” she said quietly, remaining composed. “I loved you so intensely … and yes, I wanted your baby. But not anymore. You’ve finally killed anything between us. I loathe you now and if you do go to Oxford to be with Delia, I’ll … I’ll divorce you.”

  It had been a frightening mistake and one which she wouldn’t forget in a hurry. In one sudden movement, Barrie threw himself at her, gripping her arms tightly and bending her over the back of the sofa. Vicky was scared to death as his eyes flashed angrily and couldn’t believe this was the man she had loved and cherished for so long.

  “You, madam, will never … never … divorce me,” he growled. “I worked long and hard on you my girl and it worked, didn’t it? You silly little bitch. Yes …,” he laughed drunkenly as he saw how terrified she was. “I really got you worked up … just so you’d marry me. You really didn’t see that all I wanted was the prestige of being married to a Duke’s daughter and the doors it would open … and your money, of course … and anything else I could get from your precious father.”

  “No, Barrie … please … please … let me go. You’re hurting me,” she cried, having known for a while that what he said was true but hearing it spoken aloud was too much to bear. “When I tell father about this ….”

  Barrie licked his lips and curled her hair around his fingers, tugging tightly and bringing tears to her eyes as she cried out in pain.

  “You’ll not tell anyone. We will stay married whatever happens. I don’t even mind if you have an affair … I’m no longer interested in you … but whatever you do my darling, don’t threaten or even attempt to divorce me. I’ve too much at stake in this marriage and for that matter, my relationship with your sister. It could all prove rather lucrative if you keep your mouth shut … but if you do try and do anything silly ….” his eyes narrowed. “Remember who gets the insurance money if you have a little accident.”

  He let go of her sharply and she fell to the floor unceremoniously.

  “Don’t worry, darling,” he continued. “I shan't do anything if you play ball. Just leave me alone to do as I wish and we’ll get along famously.”

  He had left for Oxford the next morning. Vicky didn’t see him go as he had slept in the guest room but she heard him banging around as he packed and then the crash of the door when he left the flat. Vicky lay in the marital bed, feeling fragile and utterly devastated now all her dreams were brutally shattered. Emotionally sore and bruised, his words and their meaning reverberated through her head time and time again. She had loved Barrie so much but he had never truly loved her, which she knew everyone close to her had thought but never dared to mention and now he had finally revealed that he was superficial and callous and only wanted her for what she could bring in monetary terms . . . and he really preferred her avaricious and devious sister. Vicky was a broken woman. If Barrie was to be believed, her life might be in danger if she tried to disentangle herself from her rotten marriage ... and she could also never have children, which was another humiliating defeat. Deep depression engulfed her.

  Everything had changed so dramatically since they took over the club with such high hopes. It had been the most exciting time of her life as the business went from strength to strength, especially with Alex and Barrie beside her. Vicky had been so proud of him, watching his exuberant charm as he flattered and fussed over their guests which increased the business tenfold as word got around that all who entered the doors were treated to an evening they wouldn’t forget in a hurry. At first, she was concerned he might be enjoying his role a little too much when surrounded by a bevy of beautiful women, agog at his wit and sparkling conversation, but Barrie was adept at pulling away from them at the end of the evening and always came to bed with her, although he took to rolling on his side and falling asleep immediately. They had decided that once the club was doing well, they could consider buying a proper home to live in and raise a child but Vicky wondered how she was ever going to get pregnant if Barrie was too exhausted to want sex.

  But then, with the business taking off in such a big way, she was always tired as well. Two massive rooms at one end of the building were set up to hold functions and in the last six months, that side of their empire grew rapidly. So, as well as seeing to the day to day administration, Vicky and Alex managed to coax more people to consider the club for wedding receptions, parties and business conferences and the place was humming with life for most of the day and night several days of the week.

  But even with so much work to keep her occupied and busy, the craving for a child of her own had become intense during the past year. Having assumed becoming pregnant would be easy, it was difficult to understand why nothing happened for her. The visits to the doctor, then the tests, were embarrassing and upsetting but discovering she was the one at fault was excruciatingly painful, leaving her feeling like a useless ornament, unable to perform the one function for which her gender was born. Barrie did his best to be sympathetic at first but she knew he wasn’t particularly concerned. Children, sadly, were not a priority for him and would even be an inconvenience and unnecessary expense. He had begun to change the subject whenever she tried to talk about it and her obsession became a hidden hurt as she spent hours pouring over mother and baby magazines in the privacy of her office. She took to strolling to the parkland surrounding Kensington Palace staring agonisingly at babies in pushchairs as their proud and happy parents or nannies wheeled them around. Her envy and sadness were overwhelming and she often returned to the club trying desperately to get to her office before anyone saw her face and she could apply more makeup to cover her distress.

  Needing someone to turn to and feeling Ruth would understand, even though recently a mother herself, the trip home to Canleigh had been helpful. Ruth was marvellous and little Stephen was simply gorgeous and it was wonderful being able to help look after him, have cosy cuddles and enjoy the comfort of his little body in her arms but even so, she cried herself to sleep every night, craving for a child of her own but which she would never have. Life was really too cruel.

  Somehow, Vicky managed to get through the two days of Delia’s trial, leaning on Alex more and more for support. He had been so good to her, she thought, staring at his photograph on the wall of her office, minutes after that awful journalist advised her what had occurred in Oxford. He had hardly let her out of his sight since Barrie had left for the trial, and even though she wanted to keep to herself in the office, he popped in frequently on one pretext or another to make sure she was okay and she was eating something. He had taken her across the road for breakfast yesterday and again today, to a charming little restaurant where the food was good and management and staff were all friends and patrons of the club. Vicky ate very little but the piping hot cappuccino coffee revived her and she came back to her office feeling just a touch better.

  It was just after they got back to the club this morning when she received that devastating call about Delia’s release and was asked where Barrie might take her. Would Delia return to Canleigh? Vicky thought about it, trying to push down the real terror that Barrie might bring her back here instead but no, Delia would surely want to return home. She had nowhere else to go after all … and then there was Demon. She wouldn’t want to leave him for long again. No, Vicky persuaded herself. Delia would return
to Canleigh. Barrie wouldn’t have the audacity or nerve to bring her here. Why would he? No, he would probably stay somewhere with her for a night of unbridled passion first and then take her back to Yorkshire.

  She sat down, pretending to work but only shuffled papers backwards and forwards on her desk. The type written words didn’t make sense to her. Her brain couldn’t take them in. It was a complete waste of time, as she couldn’t concentrate on anything, being so very frightened of what was going to happen now. With Barrie’s threat that she might have a little accident and the certain instinct that Delia had killed Richard, she was in real danger if they decided to dispense with her . . . and there was nothing to stop them.

  Vicky’s eyes rested on the handbag on the floor beside her. She had visited her doctor earlier in the week who prescribed valium for her depression. There were also two packets of paracetamol in her desk for the terrible headaches, which came over her so frequently nowadays. It would be so easy. She only had to open her mouth and force the tablets down with the contents of the vodka bottle and it would be over. No more humiliation, heartache or worry ever again. Her hand reached out, picked up the bag, and then dropped it guilty as someone banged loudly on the office door.

  “Coffee … and I’ve brought you a cream cake too,” announced Alex, with a wide smile on his handsome face. He looked at her stricken expression and trembling hands and felt a rushing anger towards Barrie, who was probably the cause.

  “What’s happened?” he asked, entering the room and placing the coffee and cream bun on the desk.

  “It’s Delia,” Vicky whispered, wringing her hands nervously. “She’s got off. What if he brings her here?”

  Alex strode around the desk, pulled her up from her chair, and hugged her hard, stroking her hair, letting her perfume fill his senses while she cried.

  “Oh, God, Alex. I feel so bloody low and he’s going to humiliate me and grind me down even further. I just know he is.”

  Alex kissed her brow and smoothed the hair away from her face. “You don’t have to stay here, Vicky. Why don’t we book you into a hotel … give you a bit of breathing space … or you can come back to my flat. You know you’re always welcome there.”

  “You’re so kind, Alex,” Vicky sobbed. “I don’t know what I’d do without you … but I can’t. I must stay here … for now, at least.”

  Alex raised her chin gently so that she had to look at him. “Okay, if you’re sure but just remember you can always come to me if things get too bad. Now, get your coat. You need to get out of here for a while; breathe in some fresh air and clear your head. It doesn’t look as if you’re achieving anything anyway,” he glanced at the pile of papers on the desk and then outside at the weather. “The rain has stopped. We’ll go into the park, have a long walk and then have lunch … and try and get everything into perspective.”

  It had helped. Alex was such good company and he truly cared for her wellbeing. If she hadn’t been so emotionally drained she would have thoroughly enjoyed their morning. The park was beautiful now the rain had freshened everything up. Green shoots were appearing on the trees and shrubbery and early daffodils brightened up the borders and encircled trees. After the earlier downpour, it was turning into a lovely spring morning and everyone in the park looked bright and happy now that the long, miserable, cold winter was nearly over. It was a happiness Vicky wished she shared.

  They wandered for a couple of hours, hardly speaking, although Alex linked her arm with his, which gave her more comfort than he would ever know. It warmed her heart to know how much he cared. What a lovely man he was. Why, oh why hadn’t she fallen for him instead?

  The sun was growing stronger as they left the park and strolled to the shops and businesses in Kensington High Street.

  “I have an idea,” said Alex. “Let’s have lunch on the river. We can go down to the Thames and have lunch on a cruiser … watch the world go by as we eat. Come on. What do you say?”

  His enthusiasm was infectious and Vicky actually grinned. She had no desire to return to the club in a hurry. “Okay. Let’s. It sounds lovely.”

  It was lovely. They took the tube down to Westminster and then a boat to Greenwich and back, a leisurely journey of a couple of hours with lunch included. Vicky actually managed a bowl of hot cauliflower and broccoli soup and a freshly baked bread roll accompanied by two glasses of wine while they watched famous London landmarks slide past. The tension began to fade and her spirits rose as Alex pointed out places of interest and made her laugh with his crazy comments. It was with great reluctance that she left the boat but it was mid-afternoon, they had a business to run and had played truant long enough.

  “Oh, heavens. Barrie’s back,” she said, all her fears returning swiftly when they walked to the rear of the club to their private entrance. His car was in the car park, streaked and grubby from flying motorway dirt.

  “Will you be alright?” asked Alex anxiously, sad to see how Vicky’s tension returned so quickly. “Would you like me to come up to the flat with you?”

  “No,” she sighed. “I’ve got to face him … them, maybe.”

  “Okay. But ring down if you need me,” Alex urged, watching her anxiously as she put her key in the door and entered the flat.

  She nodded. “Thank you so much for today, Alex. It’s been a real treat. I’ve enjoyed it so much.”

  She left him. His dear, kind face, looking so worried. Why, oh why hadn’t she fallen for him instead of the rotten rat she had so stupidly married? Her heart beat loudly as she walked up the stairs, abject terror of Barrie and what might be ahead of her, making her clench her hands tightly around her handbag. She wanted to flee back downstairs but what would that achieve? No. She had to face him. Somehow, she had to find the courage to confirm that she was going to go ahead with a divorce, whatever he might say or threaten. She had no wish whatsoever to remain married to him any longer. He had killed any love she had for him and she couldn’t bear to live with him for another minute. And no, she wasn’t going to kill herself. Why should she? Alex had shown her today that life could be worth living … maybe with him at some point. She was young, not bad looking and had a future and Barrie wasn’t going to rob her of that … and he wasn’t going to get any insurance money from her death. She was determined on that. She pulled herself upright, trying to boost her courage, determined not to show Barrie how scared of him she was.

  Her courage and determination dissolved as soon as she entered the flat. Parcels and packages were strewn all over the hall floor indicating that someone had been enjoying a wild spending spree. Seconds later, Delia appeared at the doorway of the marital bedroom, wearing nothing but a see-through black negligee.

  “Oh, Vicky, darling,” she purred, twirling around showing off the skimpy garment and reeking of cognac. “What do you think of this, little sister? Darling Barrie bought it for me. Isn’t he so very generous?”

  Barrie ambled unsteadily from the bedroom dressed only in his underpants and waving a full glass of neat whisky in his hand, which he thrust under Vicky’s nose.

  “And where the hell have you been? You should have been here, ready to wait on my every whim … but no, you’ve been out with the delectable Alex … we saw you just now, down in the car park. He was desperate to kiss you goodbye.”

  Vicky, appalled and terrified, opened her mouth to speak but she hesitated a second too long.

  Barrie laughed grimly. “Oh, I know how he is besotted with you, my dear. I’ve seen him, watching your every move down in the club. So, where have you been? Had a sexual adventure, have you, darling? Has he made love to you? Has he made you feel wonderful? Do tell. Actually, should we invite him up? Have a foursome. That would be good, wouldn’t it, Vicky. But then, I don’t suppose you would want to do that, would you? It would a bit too much for you, wouldn’t it? You just want straight, uncomplicated sex … to get a bloody baby.”

  He lurched away from her, throwing an arm around a grinning Delia. “Now this,” he said, w
ith one quick stroke pulling off Delia’s negligee, his hand roaming over her breasts and down to her belly. “This is a real woman. Beautiful, sexy, wild. A real tiger in bed, aren’t, you, my love?”

  Delia didn’t protest. She just stood, completely naked, allowing Vicky’s husband to do as he pleased and grinned mockingly at Vicky.

  “God! You two make me feel sick,” Vicky spat.

  “My, oh my. I believe my wife must be a little jealous,” Barrie giggled, nuzzling Delia’s neck.

  “That’s one thing I’m not!” Vicky’s voice trembled. “I want you out of my flat, Delia, and I am seeing my solicitor first thing in the morning, Barrie. Whatever you say, I am going to divorce you.”

  Shaking more than she had ever done in her life before, Vicky pushed past them both and dashed into the bathroom. With trembling hands, she locked the door and sank onto the toilet seat, wondering why she hadn’t just made a bolt back down the stairs. She was trapped now. Tears poured down her cheeks. She had never been so petrified in her life and wished there was a phone in the bathroom so she could call Alex. Now she would just have to wait until her evil husband and her debauched sister either pleasured themselves in the bedroom or fell asleep so she could creep out undetected and when she did, she was never coming back. She would never feel safe in this flat again.

  “Vicky … Vicky! Come out of there! I want you,” shouted Barrie, banging his fists on the bathroom door.

  “Go away,” she yelled back unsteadily

  “Come on, little wifey. I want to make mad passionate love to you. Perhaps we’ll make a baby,” he giggled hysterically, his full body weight slumping against the door. Vicky jumped and clutched her chest, not knowing how much more of this she could take. With heartfelt relief, she could hear Delia coaxing him away towards the bedroom. Vicky sat on the bathroom floor and tried hard to still her fear, trying to decide what to do, wishing she had allowed Alex to accompany her. To tell him not to had been a stupid decision but then she was always making stupid decisions, the biggest being to marry Barrie. What a complete idiot she had been.