Wicked Wolf

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  He understood that devotion and love, even envied it.

  He pushed all of that away though when he stepped into his master bedroom. Jesse had apparently been moved there when he’d been out, but it made sense. There were far too many wolves to fit into Jesse’s room now.

  “Thank you for coming,” Quinn said when he walked into the room. He was surprised his voice didn’t shake or turn into a growl, but he knew he needed to keep up his control.

  Each person turned toward him, their gazes burning holes into his skin. Jesse lay on the bed, propped up on pillows. He was awake, thank God, so Quinn smiled but didn’t move forward. He needed to get a few things out of the way first.

  Walker and Brandon stood off to the right. Walker had his hands out in front of him, stretching, while Brandon had his arms folded over his chest. They didn’t frown at him, but they did seem to check him out to make sure he wasn’t about to go on attack.

  He’d deal with that shame later.

  To the left, Hannah had her hands in a similar position to Walker’s. Her long brown curls went every which way and looked like she’d been in the wind.

  Reed stood behind Hannah, his hands on her hips. Quinn knew that the touch of a mate could enhance their powers, so he was glad the other man was there. Josh stood beside Reed. He didn’t touch Hannah but looked ready to do so if needed. The triad as a whole, it was said, was the strongest unit most had ever heard of when it came to magic. In fact, each of the Jamenson mating pairs—or triads—seemed to gain a certain amount of power from their bond.

  Something he’d never had with Helena.

  He quickly shoved that thought to the side and looked at the person on the other side of Josh.

  Gina had her hair back in a ponytail, which made her look younger than her years. Her cheekbones stood out, and from the dark circles under her eyes, she looked as though she’d slept as well as he had these past two days.

  Your fault, he reminded himself.

  From the way she held herself back, he wasn’t sure she had the energy to help Jesse. God knew Quinn didn’t have much left himself. He didn’t want Gina to be hurt because she pushed herself too hard, but he wasn’t about to say that aloud.

  He didn’t have the right.

  He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what I should be doing.” He looked at Walker then at Hannah, pulling his gaze from Gina’s. “Can you tell me where I should stand? What I should do?”

  He hated being helpless, but he’d do anything for Jesse.

  “Daddy,” Jesse whispered, and Quinn broke. He quickly knelt on the bed and reached over to grip Jesse’s hand.

  “Hey, buddy.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

  Tears burned, and Quinn blinked them away. He would not cry in front of his son. “For what? You did nothing wrong. Hannah and her crew are just here to see if there’s anything they can do. I’m going to be here for you, Jesse. No matter what.”

  That he vowed.

  “Jesse, honey, you’re doing good,” Hannah said, her voice melodic. “Walker and I are going to try to use that same Healing power he used on you before, but together this time.”

  Jesse turned his head toward her slowly, as if it hurt to move.

  Quinn’s wolf howled.

  “It feels warm when he does that. Will it hurt this time?”

  “No, honey, it won’t.”

  From the way Hannah said that, Quinn knew there was something else going on. He knew from talking with Walker that there should have been pain each time Walker tried to Heal Jesse, but he brought that pain into himself. Hannah, it seemed, would be doing the same. From the looks on Reed’s and Josh’s faces, the two men would be syphoning what they could off as well so Hannah wouldn’t be hurt.

  “I am grateful,” Quinn said, looking at the triad, then his Talons, then Gina. “Thank you for coming here and helping.” Thank you for taking the pain he could not.

  “We wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Gina said softly, and Quinn forced himself not to move toward her and beg for forgiveness.

  “Jesse, honey, I’m going to let your mind sleep for a bit so we can work,” Hannah said after a moment. “You won’t feel a thing, and before you know it, you’ll be awake.”

  His son looked frightened for a moment then nodded. “Daddy? You’ll be here when I wake up?”

  “Always.”

  Hannah and Walker held out their arms over Jesse, and his little boy’s eyes lowered.

  The Redwood Pack Healer let out a breath. “Now that he’s asleep, I’m going to explain what’s going to happen. Okay?”

  Quinn nodded. “Anything. Just tell me what I need to do.”

  Hannah looked pained for a moment then nodded. “We’re going to try to Heal him, or at least keep the pain from growing worse. The fact that this is happening at a fundamental level due to the bond break means there might not be anything else to do.”

  Quinn growled then backed off at the look in Reed’s and Josh’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hear that.”

  Hannah gave him a sad smile. “I don’t want to hear that. What I do think we can do is create a web of energy to try and fortify what he has. Meaning we can take away his pain and let him lead a normal life. It won’t be permanent, but it might give him enough time to find a mate of his own when he grows older.”

  Hope filled him. “That could Heal him?”

  Hannah shook her head. “I don’t know. That’s one way. Another way is if you mate again.”

  He felt as if he’d been shot. He could feel Gina by his side but refused to look at her.

  “You’re saying if I mate again, I could save my son?”

  Hannah held up her hand. “I’m saying that it could happen. Your son is sick because Helena performed the worst kind of betrayal imaginable. Walker and I have been talking, and we think that if you create a new bond, there’s a slight possibility it could attach itself to Jesse.”

  Quinn turned to Walker. “You knew? And you didn’t say anything?”

  Still, he didn’t look at Gina.

  “We weren’t sure,” Walker said softly.

  “Quinn. We can deal with that later,” Hannah cut in. “First, let me explain what is going to happen now.”

  He nodded, forcing his gaze to Hannah while his mind whirled. If he mated with another wolf, he could save his son. He knew he wasn’t ready for a bond, but to save Jesse? He’d do anything.

  Yet he didn’t deserve Gina’s bond.

  He’d fucked himself over so well he didn’t see a way out of it.

  “We’re going to take his pain and Heal him as best we can for now,” Hannah continued. “But to create the web, Brandon and Gideon will act as conduits for Walker while Reed and Josh do the same for me. We can enhance our magic that way.” She met Quinn’s eyes full on. “You’ll need to hold Jesse’s hand and create a point of magic yourself. However, you can’t do it alone. You’ll need a witch to aid you.”

  He swallowed hard then finally looked at Gina. Her eyes were wide, and she looked shell-shocked.

  “Tell me what to do, Aunt Hannah,” she said, her voice strong.

  He could love her if he’d let himself, if he was willing to go down that path. He honestly couldn’t think of that though. He couldn’t think of himself. This was all for Jesse. He needed to remember that.

  Hannah gave her niece a nod. “Sit on the bed next to Quinn and hold his hand. Gideon will put his hand on Quinn’s shoulder while Josh will do the same to yours. We’ll create our circle, our web, and then we will try for the best.”

  With that, everyone got into position. Gina’s leg rested against his, and he did his best not to groan.

  “Gina…”

  She shook her head. “No. Not now. Later. We can talk about everything later. Right now, this is for Jesse. It’s all about Jesse.”

  He nodded, swallowing hard. He didn’t deserve a woman like her, and they all knew it. He also didn’t know what the future held, but he’d do whate
ver he could to protect his son.

  He held out his hand, and Gina paused for only a moment before placing hers in his. The heat shocked him, and he sucked in a breath, his wolf raging at him.

  “For Jesse,” she whispered.

  For Jesse.

  Chapter Seven

  “Begin.”

  At the sound of Hannah’s voice, Gina threw her head back. Power slammed into her, and she gripped Quinn’s hand. She hated herself for craving his touch, craving his need. Then she pushed that away, knowing this wasn’t about her and Quinn, but about a little boy who needed them both.

  Magic filled her body, scraping along her skin before wrapping around her organs. The hair on her arms rose¸ and she tried to swallow, only to come up dry. She’d never felt this much power before. It wasn’t as if she was a strong witch. No, she was a strong wolf who happened to spew fire from her palms when she thought real hard about it. There was a difference.

  She forced herself to look down at Quinn’s son and what was happening in front of her. Hannah and Walker chanted over Jesse, their arms moving in unison as they pulled on their bonds to Heal him. Josh and Reed had their arms around Hannah’s waist, holding her steady. Brandon and Gideon had their hands on their brother’s shoulders, keeping him still. Quinn sucked in a breath next to her, and she braced herself. A wave of pain crashed into her, and she bit her lip. The fire in her veins blended with her magic and wove a spell around the pain, dissipating it.

  She didn’t know how she did that, only that it was inherent. Her birth mother had taught her enough to protect herself and other people, but they hadn’t gotten to the lessons about using her powers.

  She wasn’t a Healer, nor was she a witch who could help others. At least that’s what she thought. It wasn’t as if she’d seen any evidence to the contrary. She could only use what she knew, and that was to take whatever pain Jesse, and subsequently Quinn, held and make it go away.

  She kept her eyes open and on Jesse. If she focused on him, she could deal with the pain and anything that came afterward. She licked her lips, knowing if she broke her concentration she’d ruin it for all of them. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—be that weak link.

  The process took hours, and by the end of it, she was drained, emotionally and physically. Sweat covered her body, and she had a hard time staying upright. She blinked a couple of times, then sucked in a breath when Quinn leaned into her, thereby keeping her from passing out. She looked down and swallowed hard.

  Throughout it all, though, she never let go of Quinn’s hand.

  Hannah’s earlier words echoed through her head, but she ignored them, pushing them away. There would be time to make decisions and deal with the consequences of a woman’s betrayal. A woman Gina had never met.

  Gina’s pain and loss would be worth the life of a young boy.

  She knew that, but she didn’t want to think of it.

  Not yet.

  “That’s all we can do,” Hannah said softly, her voice tired.

  Gina leaned into Quinn, her hand still in his. She didn’t want to think too hard about it, the feel and scent of him against her. She needed only his strength so she didn’t pass out.

  “How is he?” Quinn growled out. His wolf sounded close to the surface, but Gina had a feeling it was only because of the exhaustion weighing on all of them.

  Walker sighed. “The bond between him and me as a Healer seemed slightly stronger, Quinn. That’s a good thing. He isn’t in pain right now.” He met Quinn’s eyes, and Gina squeezed Quinn’s hand. She might not know what she felt right then, but she knew the father, not the man who hated her, needed support.

  “I think, between this group, we gave him more time,” Hannah said slowly.

  More time.

  That was something at least. Time for what though? That was the question. Either it was enough time for him to find his own mate or for Quinn to try to mate on his own and provide another bond for Jesse to latch onto.

  Every single person in the room knew what the answer had to be.

  Every single person knew who would supply that answer.

  Anything else would be horrific for that little boy.

  She’d just have to deal with the consequences.

  She let out a breath then released Quinn’s hand. Her wolf whimpered, but she ignored it. This was not the time to deal with anything but sleep and her own thoughts. The loss of the heat of Quinn’s touch was something she’d have to push away for the time being.

  Maybe forever.

  “Thank you,” Quinn said, this time his voice sounding more himself. “Thank you for doing all you can.”

  “He’s a pup. He’s one of us,” Hannah said simply.

  The others gave her a look then quietly left after saying good-bye and giving Quinn instructions about when Jesse would wake up.

  Uncle Josh leaned down, kissed her temple, whispering so low that only she could hear. “We’re not leaving you. We’ll be right outside.”

  With that, she, Jesse, and Quinn were alone in the room. She got up off the bed, her legs shaky. She hadn’t been sleeping or eating right in the past couple of days, and with the added-on magic, her body was feeling it. She knew she needed to take better care of herself, but it had been hard when her heart hadn’t been in it.

  Now she didn’t have a choice.

  “I’m going to go home and eat and rest,” she said finally. Quinn had his eyes on his son, not her, so it made it easer for her to speak.

  He turned toward her, and her mouth went dry.

  His wolf was in his gaze, the gold rim around his irises glowing. “Thank you,” he said, his voice strong. “Thank you for coming here when you didn’t have to and saving my son. I will never be able to repay you for that.”

  She raised her chin, her heart pounding even as her soul died just that much more. “I wasn’t going to let a pup be hurt because of my—no, your—issues.” There. She felt a smidge better. Not much, but at least she wasn’t lying to herself.

  Quinn’s jaw tightened, and he nodded. “Thank you anyway.” He let out a breath and looked down at his son. “Gina…”

  He was going to ask her. After all he’d done to her, after all he’d said, he was going to ask her about the mating. She knew they would have to in order to save Jesse’s life, but she didn’t know if she could handle hearing it in her weakened state.

  She raised her hand and stopped him. “I’m going home to sleep and to eat. We can talk about everything that was said here and previously after we’re rested.” She paused and looked at Jesse. “He’s more important than anything, Quinn. I get that. But right now? I’m not in the right state of mind to talk about anything. I hope you get that.”

  Hope and something else she couldn’t quite place flittered through his gaze before he nodded and stood.

  “I’ll come to you this time,” he said softly. “Tomorrow?”

  She shook her head. “We’ll meet in neutral territory.” She shrugged at his look. “My family isn’t in your fan club right now, and I don’t want to test them.”

  He nodded. “I understand.” He let out a breath. “Tomorrow okay though?”

  “Yes. In neutral territory after sunrise, so we can get it over with.”

  Not the best way to talk about mating someone who was supposed to be her soul mate, but at this point, she couldn’t put too much emotion into it. If she did, she’d lose whatever part of herself she had left.

  “We can talk about what we need to talk about,” she said, being vague. “Council matters can come later.”

  He let out a breath. “It’s getting complicated.”

  She gave him a sad smile. “It was always complicated, Quinn. Don’t lie to yourself.”

  With one last look at a sleeping Jesse, she left the room and then the house. She passed the Talons, not looking at them. She didn’t want to see the questions in their eyes, or the pity.

  Her family waited for her on the front porch, and she moved out of the way of their touch. If she
let them hug her, console her, she’d break. She only had to make it to the car outside the wards, and then she could cry until she made it into the Redwood wards.

  She could do that.

  She was far stronger than she felt.

  At least she hoped so.

  By the next morning, she was slightly more energized and ready to get this talk over with. While she might have stayed up all night thinking, Hannah and her mother hadn’t let that happen. Instead, her family fed her then made her drink tea that would make her sleep deeply. Thank the goddess she did because she wasn’t sure she’d have made it here this morning if she’d stayed up all night tossing and turning.

  What she was about to agree to was going to kill a small part of her. She knew that, but she didn’t see another choice. She ran a hand over her hair, trying to center herself.

  When she was a young girl, she’d been afraid of mating, though she’d never said it out loud. She’d been afraid of finding a wolf, falling in love, and creating a bond. Because once she did that, she’d have children, and those children could be left alone if she died.

  Her birth parents died because a traitor had used them to try to frame another wolf for their deaths. The traitor had died painfully, as had the wolves that had used him in the first place, but in some ways, it would never be enough.

  She’d never be held by her mother, never be lifted off the ground by her father again. She’d had more years with the both of them than Mark ever had, but those years hadn’t been enough.

  Melanie and Kade had brought her into their home without a second thought. They’d helped nurture her wolf and her soul while trying to find a way to balance the magic within her veins. They’d never judged her for what she could do if she lost control.

  She was a fire witch. A deadly one if she ever tried to use her powers for dark, rather than light. She could use the flame to burn those in her path or, if she focused hard enough, control a flame already made.

  She’d used that inner flame to help Heal Jesse, and yet that magic hadn’t been enough to save him fully.