His hand took hers. It wasn’t like he was pushing himself on her. He was just offering a little comfort. Just giving her somebody to lean on.
“Aren’t the test results due today?” he asked.
She looked away and it took a while before she answered. “Dr. Sears said they’d be in late this morning.”
“Want me to go with you?”
The words were out of his mouth before he’d really given them any thought. But he wasn’t being some jerk of a knight in shining armor. He was just one of the few people that she knew in the city. And just about the only one who knew all about her. He was someone she didn’t have to pretend with.
“I’m sure you have more important things to do.”
“Not really.”
“You have your own job.”
“Why be your own boss if you can’t play hooky once in a while?”
Her smile returned.
“Come on.” He stood and pulled her up by her hand. “We’ll check out the results, then I know this great place we can go for lunch.”
“And this time I’d better eat, huh?”
“You damn betcha,” he replied and put her arm in his.
It wasn’t like he was going to hang around all the time. He was just giving her a little support. Just enough to get her through the day. A little boost until her own natural strength kicked in. Then, once she was solidly on her feet, he’d just fade away. Like an old soldier.
“Man!” Fiona exclaimed. “How can you find your way around this maze? Did you grow up in here?”
“I was a scout for the army in another life,” Alex said.
The doctor had left word to meet him on the oncology floor, but it was obvious when the nurse gave them directions that Fiona was quickly lost. It was a good thing he was there, Alex thought.
Fiona squeezed his hand a bit tighter. “I’m indeed fortunate to have someone of your caliber leading me.”
“I should warn you.” They came to the south elevator bank and he pressed the button for up. “My last job was leading Custer into the Little Big Horn.”
She laughed and made his heart dance. He wished he could keep her laughing forever. The elevator door opened and he guided her inside before pressing the button for the seventh floor.
“She didn’t even give us a hint,” Fiona said as the door closed. “I couldn’t read anything in her face.”
“Maybe the doctor didn’t tell her,” Alex replied.
“I doubt he has to. She probably sees the reports before he does.”
“Yeah, I guess.” The elevator stopped and opened for their floor. “But it is the doctor’s responsibility to tell you the results.”
“I know,” she grumbled. “But I wouldn’t mind a teeny tiny hint.”
This time it was his turn to laugh as he took her arm in his.
Dr. Sears was just down the hall and came over to greet them, then nodded toward a conference room. “We can talk in here, Miss Scott.”
Alex was about to head for the waiting room, but Fiona’s hand slipped around his. “Can Alex come too?” she asked.
The doctor shrugged. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
They preceded the doctor into the room. He closed the door, then dropped into a chair, watching Fiona in silence for a long moment.
“Your test results were good,” he said. “You matched on more than the minimum number of counts.”
Fiona’s hand clutched Alex’s even tighter. “So I can donate?”
The doctor nodded. “If you want to.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” Fiona said as she threw her arms around Alex.
He just held her. For a few minutes there, he’d wondered why she’d wanted him in here. He wasn’t involved in this; he wasn’t needed. But now, with her head buried in his chest, he could see that he’d been wrong. He was needed. And, based on the tension that filled her body, very much so.
He could do this. He could let her lean on him. He’d just have to be really careful not to let their emotions get too entangled. Fiona pulled away from him and he slowly let her go, moving carefully like she was just learning to walk on her own.
Fiona turned to the doctor. “What do you mean, if I want to?” she asked. “I didn’t think the procedure was dangerous. Certainly not for the donor.”
“Not significantly,” Dr. Sears replied. “Although there’s always a risk when going under a general anesthetic.”
“Life isn’t zero risk,” she said.
“No, but things can happen. That’s why you need to think about this carefully. If you have any doubts or hesitations, we’ll just say you weren’t a good enough match. Kate’s situation isn’t critical yet. We could still find another donor.”
“We don’t need another donor. I want to do it.”
The doctor got to his feet. “Then you’ll need to come with me. You have to sign forms and I should go over some procedures with you.”
“That sounds like a lot of boring stuff,” she said to Alex.
“I can wait for you,” he told her.
“You don’t have to.”
“I will,” he said. “I’ll wait in the lounge up here.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. Then she left with the doctor, leaving behind an empty silence and a hint of her perfume.
Alex walked over to the window and leaned his forehead against the pane. Although seven stories wasn’t all that high, he felt like a bird sitting on a cliff. Down below was the tiny Lakeshore Park. And off to his right was the wide empty expanse of Lake Michigan. The rest of the space was filled with other tall buildings.
Things were getting deep. He was getting into waters that he couldn’t swim. But he couldn’t get out. Not now. He just had to be sure he didn’t go down and never come up. Or worse, took somebody down with him.
He went to the lounge down the hall and flicked on the television. After the midday news, he got an apple from a vending machine to tide him over until Fiona was ready for lunch, then sat through a complete cycle of news on cable television. The Andrewses arrived just as he was sitting through the reading of the last night’s basketball scores for the second time.
“Mr. Rhinehart,” Mr. Andrews said. “Dr. Sears told us Miss Scott is a good match.”
Alex nodded. Why couldn’t they call her Fiona? Hell, she was the kid’s biological mother. And here she was, giving the girl a second gift of life. Or at least a good chance at it. Why did they have to be so damn formal?
But then they stepped farther into the room and he saw how drawn and tired they looked. He felt a sudden burst of sympathy for them. Maybe they had to keep their relations with Fiona formal. Their daughter’s illness was probably enough for them to handle at the moment.
“I hope it all works out,” Alex said. When the silence settled back down, he added, “I figured I’d take Fiona back to South Bend tonight.”
Mr. Andrews cleared his throat. “Ah, we wanted to talk to you about that.”
He looked at them. What were they going to say—let Fiona find her own way back home? Alex found that hard to believe. They had been more than generous with him.
“We really don’t want Miss Scott to leave,” Mrs. Andrews said.
Alex shook his head. “I thought they needed about two weeks to get Kate ready for the transplant.”
“Ten days to two weeks,” Mrs. Andrews confirmed.
“But we’d really like her to stay here in Chicago,” Mr. Andrews said.
“We’re just so worried about this,” Mrs. Andrews went on. “Once they start Kate’s chemotherapy, she’ll be so vulnerable. She won’t have any of her own bone marrow left. She’ll have to have a transplant, but if something should happen to Miss Scott—”
Mr. Andrews took his wife’s hand. “We’d like Miss Scott here, and cared for, so that nothing happens to her.”
“Things happen to people no matter where they are,” Alex said. “A small town might be safer than a big city like Chicago.”
Mrs. Andrews brushed a nervous han
d through her short, straight hair. “We know we’re asking a lot.”
“We’ve talked to the principal at Miss Scott’s school about the possibility that she might miss a week or so,” Mr. Andrews said. “And she was very supportive. We offered to pay for the substitute but she said that wasn’t necessary.”
Alex thought they really should have talked all this over with Fiona first. It was her decision to make—not his, not her principal’s. “This is something for you to work out with Fiona.” He got to his feet.
“We’d like you to take care of her,” Mrs. Andrews said.
That stopped his trek to the door. “Me?”
“I have access to a corporate apartment,” her husband said. “It’s just a block or two from here. Right on Lake Shore Drive.”
“Why me?”
“You two get along so well.” Mrs. Andrews shrugged. “It’s obvious she trusts you.”
He was usually good on his feet, but Alex felt himself groping. “You want me to stay in the apartment with her?” There was a sudden tightening of his breath and a hunger seeping into his blood.
“It has two bedrooms,” Mr. Andrews said. “And. two baths.”
He looked from one to the other. They were serious.
“And you want me to keep her in the apartment?”
“Oh, no,” Mrs. Andrews replied.
“We don’t want to make Miss Scott a prisoner,” Mr. Andrews assured him. “In fact, we would want you to take her out, see some plays, go to the finest restaurants, anything. We’ll pay for it all.”
“We would just hope that you don’t do anything dangerous,” Mrs. Andrews said.
“How about skydiving?” But they suddenly looked so stricken that Alex hastened to calm the couple. “It was a joke.”
“Then you’ll do it,” Mr. Andrews said.
He looked away for a moment. A little voice in the back of his mind tried to scream a warning but Alex shut it out. It was just a job. He turned back to the couple. “That’s up to Fiona. If she agrees with you, that’s fine. If not—” he shrugged “—then I’m out.”
The couple exchanged looks again. Now what? Then suddenly Alex saw the light. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s your idea. It’s your responsibility to talk to Fiona.”
“But she trusts you,” Mrs. Andrews said.
And he was expected to use that trust to manipulate her? Just what kind of man did they think he was?
“Mr. Rhinehart—” Mrs. Andrews laid a hand on his arm “—we’re really thinking of Miss Scott.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Yes,” she replied. “How do you think it will be for Miss Scott? Trying to carry on with her life while carrying a burden of worry? She could easily have an accident.”
He hated to agree with the woman but there was some truth to her words. People who were preoccupied were more likely to have accidents.
“I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have Don to lean on,” Mrs. Andrews said.
Fiona had a big family back in South Bend, lots of people she could lean on, but in this case that could be more of a problem than a help. Hiding Fiona from all distractions might be the best thing for her.
“All right,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll talk to her.”
“Oh, thank you, Mr. Rhinehart,” Mrs. Andrews said.
They shook his hand and started for the door.
“Mr. Rhinehart,” Mrs. Andrews said. “Please remember, Miss Scott can do anything she wants while she’s here. See things. Maybe sit in on some classes at the universities. Anything. As long as it isn’t dangerous.”
Then they were gone and Alex flopped down into an overstuffed chair. How about if it might be dangerous for him? They hadn’t said anything about that.
Alex leaned his head back and closed his eyes, letting himself go. Feeling as if he were caught in a whirlpool that he was powerless to extricate himself from. What had he gotten himself into now?
“Hey, are you like some kind of doctor?”
His eyes slowly opened. A young girl wearing a sweat suit, thick socks and a baseball cap on her head was standing in the doorway staring at him. It was Kate. Alex had seen her picture in Mr. Andrews’s office.
“I was being funny, you know?”
“Hi, Kate,” Alex said. “Are you supposed to be out of your room?”
“What are you gonna do?” she asked, flopping down into a chair across from him. “Turn me in?”
“Only if there’s a reward.”
“I’m bored out of my gourd.”
Alex nodded. “Yeah.” He straightened in his chair. “I can see that kind of thing happening.”
“And then, starting tomorrow, I’m gonna be in isolation for the rest of my life. I like, get chemo for ten days and then I get the BMT. Then who knows?”
“Going to be some rough days,” Alex murmured.
“Yeah.” Kate took a moment to stare at her feet as she swiveled them back and forth. “You’re the one who found my donor, aren’t you?”
“Pretty much. But a lot of other people helped.”
“Can I meet her?”
Alex paused only a minute. “What makes you think it’s a her?”
Kate looked up at him, blinking. “I just thought—” She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“The donor has to be compatible with you,” Alex said. “That means blood type and other stuff. Gender has nothing to do with it.”
“I guess.” She made a face and looked down at the floor. “But I’d still like to meet her/him/them/it. Whatever.”
“They don’t like the donor and the recipient to meet for a year or so,” Alex said.
“I don’t think that’s fair. Do you?”
Alex slouched down as if a five-hundred-pound bird sat on his shoulders. Kate would like to meet Fiona. Fiona would like to meet Kate. And he was supposed to explain to each of them why they couldn’t.
He didn’t like being caught in other people’s games, playing by other people’s rules. He looked over at Kate and saw the need in her eyes—the exact same look he’d seen in Fiona’s eyes.
Damn. He was being sucked in, deeper and deeper.
Fiona jabbed at the floor-selection button and then, as the elevator door closed, glanced quickly at her watch. She’d been gone hours. According to the doctor, she’d just had to sign a couple of forms.
Well, he’d been close on the number. She’d had to sign three forms, but it couldn’t be done at the nurses’ station. She’d had to go to some administrative area where the hospital’s legal counsel could witness it. Then she’d had to visit with a social worker and a minister.
And everywhere she turned, someone was telling her that she didn’t have to do it. Showed how much they knew. Of course she had to do it. If she didn’t donate the bone marrow, her child could die. There was no choice to it. Not that she had any qualms.
The elevator stopped and the door opened, letting her shoot out like a bullet. She didn’t know if Alex would still be waiting for her. He’d said he would, but she wouldn’t blame him if he’d left. He had to have better things to do with his day than wait around for her.
She didn’t really need any help to check out of the hotel; the room was paid for. All she needed to do was take a cab to the train station. But still, it would be nice to be with him a little longer.
Fiona reached the door to the lounge and saw him there. Her heart gave a skip of happiness as she hurried inside. “Alex, I’m so glad-”
Fiona stopped in her tracks, her heart falling from the sky with a thud. A young girl was sitting across from Alex. A young girl with Sam’s smile and Cassie’s nose. And Fiona’s own blue eyes, except they looked so bright and strong and confident.
“Hi, Fiona,” Alex said.
She tried to respond, but nothing worked. Not her tongue, not her brain. Not anything. All she could do was stare at the girl.
Kate got to her feet. “I’m Kate Andrews.”
Fiona nodded as her ey
es drank up every detail of Kate. She was so beautiful, this child Fiona had given up. She could not believe how perfect the girl was, even in illness. “I’m Fiona Scott,” she finally said.
Kate nodded. “You’re my donor, aren’t you?”
Fiona glanced at Alex, panic filling every inch of her, but he was just watching her blandly, as if they weren’t breaking all the rules. She turned back to Kate. “We’re not supposed to meet.”
“Jeez.” Kate made a face. “What are they gonna do? Shoot us?”
Fiona broke into a smile. She was so like Cassie. “I guess they won’t.”
Kate looked at her thoughtfully. “So how come you’re doing this? Isn’t it gonna hurt?”
“A little,” Fiona replied. “But that doesn’t matter if it’s going to help you.”
“That’s what I don’t get,” Kate said. “I don’t think I could do it for some complete stranger.”
Of course. That’s what they would have told the girl. Dealing with the transplant was hard enough. They wouldn’t pile her biological mother on top of it. And they shouldn’t. It was enough just to see Kate. The girl didn’t have to know everything.
“I bet you would,” Fiona said. “You’re not so scared of being hurt when you get older.” Maybe because life has shown you that there’re so many other ways to hurt so much more.
“I guess.”
Fiona just smiled at the girl. Looking into her eyes made Fiona feel as if she were looking into a mirror. A mirror that was slowly clouding up. Her smile waned and her throat tightened. Fear squeezed at her heart. The last thing she wanted was to burst into tears, but she wasn’t sure that she was going to be able to do anything about it.
“Well, kid,” Alex said. “Time to get back to your room.”
“Sez who?”
Fiona laughed and the tears retreated.
“Sez the armed guards that prowl these halls,” Alex replied. “And if you don’t get a move on, I’m going to turn you in.”
Kate made a face at Fiona. “I’m gonna be in isolation, like forever.”
“But when it’s over, it’ll be worth it,” Fiona said.
“Yeah.” Kate just looked at Fiona a long moment. “Well, you know, thanks.”
On Mother's Day (Great Expectations #1) Page 8