Turn Darkly

by Heather McVea

  “I know. It’s just -” She stepped closer to Regan. “It was my birthday last week.”

  Regan smiled. “Well, happy belated.”

  Shaking her head, Lily’s eyes darted over to Trent again as she lowered her voice. “I’m twenty five now, and -”

  Seeing the anguish in the woman’s eyes, Regan reached for her hand. “What’s happened?”

  “I can’t tell you here. Meet me at the Cathedral Peak trail head in an hour.” Not waiting for Regan’s response, the woman quickly walked toward her truck.

  Regan was left standing in the middle of the sidewalk, alone and confused. Watching Lily drive off, a quote from one of Regan’s favorite books, The Great Gatsby, popped into her head, and she knew she would be in Howell for at least another hour. I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.

  ***

  It was almost seven, and Regan had been waiting in her van near Cathedral Peak for close to an hour and a half. Looking at her watch for the ninth time in the past half hour, the woman sighed, resigned that she had been stood up.

  Just as she was about to start the van, Lily’s blue truck appeared in the parking lot next to her. The woman looked over at Regan and mouthed “I’m sorry.”

  Regan pushed her irritation aside to make room for the genuine pleasure she took in seeing Lily. Hopping out of the van, she walked around to greet the dark haired woman.

  “I’m so sorry to be late. I got held up.” Lily pulled Regan to her in a tight embrace.

  Surprised by the sudden display of affection, Regan felt her breath leave her as the woman’s lean frame pressed to her. “I was beginning to worry.”

  Leaning back, Lily cupped Regan’s cheek with her hand. “Thank you for waiting.” She pressed her lips to Regan’s. The fullness and warmth of Lily’s mouth flooded Regan’s senses as she struggled to maintain her balance.

  A quiet moan escaped Regan as the tip of Lily’s tongue ran across her lower lip. “Clearly I made the right choice not to leave.”

  The two women stood, their foreheads pressed together and their arms around each other’s waists. Lily took a tentative step back. “Can we walk?”

  Regan hoped her legs would carry her. The adrenaline and desire coursing through her made the phrase “weak in the knees” all too real. “It’s getting dark.” Regan looked up at the sky. The sun had set behind the mountains, and the quarter moon was just above the eastern horizon.

  “It’ll be fine.” Lily took Regan’s hand, and pulled her toward the trail.

  Regan stopped. “Wait. What about -” She looked over at the moon.

  Lily’s eyes widened. “That’s one of the things I want to talk to you about.”

  Regan’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t want to be suspicious of Lily, but there were too many unknowns. “Why don’t you start by explaining why you’re not currently furry and on all fours?”

  Lily snapped her fingers, a mischievous grin on her face. “Right. That.” She stepped around Regan, and focused her attention on the moon. “I can control the turning during every phase except full.” She looked at Regan. “That’s why you found me in that cage.”

  Regan nodded as if she understood. The reality was she had no point of reference, and her scientific mind was telling her none of this was possible. The moon was simply a massive rock orbiting the Earth, and had nothing to do with turning people into wolves. Then again, Regan knew the very notion of a person transforming into an animal was ludicrous, regardless of the moon’s involvement.

  “Are you -” Regan wasn’t sure how to ask the question without offending Lily, but she needed to know. “Are you able to reason? Are you still you?”

  Lily turned toward Regan. Her face was cast in shadows, and Regan couldn’t see her eyes clearly as she spoke. “Less and less as the full moon approaches, and then not at all.”

  Regan’s breath caught. The idea of losing herself, of forgetting who she was and the people that mattered to her was terrifying. “It was you that night - by the road.”

  Lily hesitated before responding. “Yes. Trent and his boys were out hunting, and thought they would have some fun.” She shook her head. “I couldn’t have forgiven him if they had hurt you.” She gently rubbed Regan’s forearm.

  Regan was trying desperately to pace the barrage of questions that flooded her mind. But in spite of her best efforts, every one of Lily’s answers spurred more inquiries. “Can a human be turned? Ah, like in the movies?”

  Lily chuckled. “No. It runs in the family, so to speak.”

  “What does it feel like?” The idea of a human being folding, shaping, and transforming into a wolf was beyond Regan’s understanding. Every fiber of her being told her it was impossible, but she had seen enough to know there was clearly more to the world than even science could fathom, much less explain.

  Cocking her head to the side, Lily looked up out of the corner of her eye. “Hmm, it’s like when you wake up in the morning, and you have your first really great stretch. Your breath gets caught, and all the blood pushes into your muscles.” She looked back at Regan. “Like that, I guess.”

  Regan was relieved the change wasn’t painful for the woman. She assumed her life was made complicated enough without the added burden of pain. Looking at Lily, Regan caught a worried expression cross her beautiful face. She sensed there was something the woman wasn’t telling her. She suspected, though, that any attempt to rush Lily’s disclosures would only agitate her. Taking Lily’s hand, Regan walked toward the trail.

  “How’s your night vision?” Regan teased.

  “Pretty bad, actually. I wear contacts, and without them I’m legally blind in my left eye.”

  Regan stopped, sending Lily careening into the back of her. “Are you kidding?”

  Shaking her head, Lily shrugged. “No. When I’m human, I’m just as frail as anyone. Even in wolf form, I’m no more or less tough than any other wolf.”

  “I’ve noticed your brother always smells of licorice and whiskey. Is that because he’s -”

  Lily laughed. “That’s because he’s been hooked on black licorice since he was ten, and drinks like a fish.”

  Regan felt embarrassed as heat rushed to her face. “I guess I’ve seen too many movies and read too many books.”

  “It’s not sexy, and if managed right, it isn’t particularly scary either.”

  A question had been biting at the back of Regan’s mind, and she finally felt the courage to ask it push to the forefront. “Were your parents killed when they were - wolves?” Regan watched the woman’s expression closely. Tears springing to her eyes.

  “Yes.” An errant tear ran down the woman’s cheek, and Regan gently wiped at it with her thumb.

  “What happened?” Regan continued walking, her and Lily’s hands entwined.

  “It was a full moon. They were hunted and shot.” The sorrow in the woman’s voice brought tears to Regan’s eyes as she remembered the stabbing ache of loss when her parents were killed.

  The two women walked up the trail in a comfortable silence. Reaching one of the first scenic overlooks, they stopped. The daylight was all but gone, and the night had cast the mountains in faint blues and grays. Looking out over the sky, Regan shuddered at its enormity.

  “Are you okay?” Lily wrapped her arm around Regan’s waist.

  “What were your parents’ names?”

  Her eyes still fixed on the distant horizon, Lily smiled. “Eric and Joan.”

  “Not scary at all.” Regan said matter-of-factly.

  Lily laid her head on Regan’s shoulder. “They were wonderful.”

  ***

  It was almost completely dark as Regan and Lily made their way back down the trail. “I’m sorry I missed your birthday.”

  Lily shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”

  Remembering the woman’s cryptic comment early regarding her birthday, Regan thought she had been patient enough in waiting for an explanation. “What did you mean earlier when you said
you couldn’t because you were twenty five now?”

  They had just reached the parking lot, and Lily released Regan’s hand. “I had hoped you had forgotten that.”

  “Mind like a steel trap.” Regan tapped her temple with her index finger.

  Stepping toward her, Lily wrapped her arms around Regan’s shoulders. “It hardly matters now.”

  Sensing the woman was hesitating more out of fear than truly believing the topic was moot, Regan eyed her suspiciously. “Nice try.”

  Stepping back, Lilly shoved her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “You asked why I can’t leave.” She was either unable or unwilling to look at Regan, and her sudden evasiveness was making Regan nervous.

  “Yes.”

  “There are very few of us left. Over the centuries bloodlines have been weakened when we have had children with humans.” She glanced up at Regan, and then quickly back down at the ground. “To ensure survival, a woman is expected -”

  Regan failed to catch the gasp before it exited her mouth. “You’re not saying -”

  Lily turned and began walking toward her truck. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s none of your business, anyways.”

  Realizing she had let her shock get the better of her, Regan went after Lily. “Hold up. I’m sorry, but I wasn’t expecting you to tell me you were being made to breed for the sake of perpetuating the species.” Regan looked up at the night sky. “Shit, that sounded even worse out loud.”

  “Forget I said anything.” Pulling her keys from the front pocket of her jeans, Lily unlocked the driver side door.

  Regan put her hand on the window to stop the woman from opening the door, and presumably driving away forever. “Who?”

  Lily looked at Regan, her expression unreadable. “Robert or Caleb.”

  Regan shook her head. “Who?”

  “The two men you’ve seen with my brother.”

  “Do you even know them?” Regan couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with any woman in a first world country in the twenty-first century, much less a lesbian.

  “I’ve known them my entire life.” Lily looked at Regan’s hand. “Excuse me.”

  Regan didn’t move. “Why would you agree to this?”

  “We’re near extinction.” Lily stood with her hand on the truck’s door handle, her head lowered.

  “Then let Robert and - ah, Caleb go find themselves a nice willing and straight woman to copulate with.” Regan’s heart was pounding in her ears, and she was struggling not to berate Lily with a full on rant about the importance of being true to who she was, regardless of what her family wanted.

  Shaking her head, Lily looked at Regan. “Don’t you think I would if I could? A child with a human has less than a fifty percent chance of being a werewolf.” Her eyes narrowed, and her voice hardened. “Why do you think the bloodlines are nearly extinct now?”

  “But you can’t be the only woman around?” Regan wondered why it should matter to her so much what Lily did. Hadn’t they already determined their relationship was temporary and once she left Howell, nonexistent?

  The look of desperation and despair on Lily’s face forced Regan to dial back her irritation and shock. Before she could attempt to console the woman, though, a pair of headlights appeared on the road. Moments later, a black Chevy truck Regan recognized as Trent’s pulled into the parking lot.

  “I have to go.” Lily wrenched the door open, and pushed past Regan to get into her truck.

  Trent pulled behind Lily, effectively blocking her from leaving. Flinging the door open, the man bolted from the Chevy, his face twisted in a hateful sneer.

  “Who the fuck do you think you are?!” Before he could reach Regan, who stood stunned next to the truck, Lily sprung from the vehicle and stood between Trent and Regan.

  “I’m leaving, so calm down.” Lily’s voice was quieter than the tension in her shoulders and back indicated.

  “You stay. She’s leaving!” The man reached for Regan, and was halted by a swift slap to his right cheek by Lily.

  “Stop!” The woman’s voice was pleading.

  Holding his hand over his cheek, Trent’s eyes were wide with shock. “Get in my truck. We’re going home.”

  The thought of Lily being hauled off by this maniac brought Regan out of her stunned stupor. “She can do whatever she wants.”

  Trent, who had been glaring at his sister, turned his wrath on Regan. “No doubt she’s told you everything, so you know if you don’t shut your mouth I’m going to rip your goddamn throat out.” The man’s eyes flashed a lustrous yellow as he practically snarled at Regan.

  “If you hurt her, I won’t help you.” Lily put her hand on her brother’s shoulder.

  Trent’s yellow eyes shot back and forth between the two women. “Get in the truck.”

  Lily turned to Regan. “I’m sorry. Please, just leave.” Not waiting for an open mouthed Regan to respond, Lily shut the truck door and walked toward the Chevy.

  Regan took a tentative step forward only to have her path impeded by Trent. “She told you to leave.”

  Looking past Trent, Regan watched as Lily got in his truck. “What people say and what they want aren’t always the same thing.”

  Huffing, Trent stepped toward Regan, their faces inches apart, his breath hot of Regan’s face. “You think she’ll protect you? I’m family.”

  Regan was tired of this man’s threats and open hostilities. Though her common sense told her not to pick a fight with a werewolf, she wasn’t going to be bested by a backwards Neanderthal. “You’re her brother, and yet you’d have her sleep with one of your buddies so she can spit out a kid and call it a day. That makes you a monster, not family.”

  Trent’s eyes narrowed. “What? Buddies?” He laughed. “They’re half-breeds themselves.” The man’s brow arched. “I guess she didn’t tell you everything after all.”

  The possessiveness and pseudo-jealousy she had seen in Trent during her stay in Howell took on an entirely new and horrific light. “She wouldn’t.”

  “You assume she has a choice. It’s her duty, and then she can do whatever the hell she wants.”

  The casualness in which Trent spoke of he and Lily’s intended incest caused Regan’s stomach to turn, and bile to rise to the back of her throat. “You’re sick.”

  Trent began backing toward his truck. “We’re animals. No shame, no guilt - no sin.” The man spit. The projectile landed inches from Regan’s feet. Then Trent turned, got in his truck and sped away.

  ***

  The tears had begun to impede Regan’s vision. Fifteen miles outside of Howell, she finally steered her van onto the narrow shoulder of the road, pulled her hazard light switch, and commenced to have a breakdown in the front seat.

  She was disgusted, horrified, but mostly afraid for Lily and the impossible choices she faced. The woman was intelligent, funny, and beautiful, but had resigned herself to becoming the human equivalent of a broodmare. Regan couldn’t reconcile the woman she had come to know and care for with the one willing to sacrifice her own happiness for an antiquated notion of family, even if it was a family of werewolves.

  Regan flung the door of the van open, and bolted onto the dirt that lined the side of the highway. Bending over, she heaved once, then twice. Still gasping for breath, she stood up. Lifting her head in the air, she took a deep breath, the heat of the day mingling with the night air, making it feel real as it entered and exited her body.

  Putting her hands on her hips, she looked around. The quarter moon hung above the mountains to the east, and the stars blanketed the sky. Regan was struck by how the world was continuing on, the landscape remaining vast and empty in spite of the tremendous burden she was now bearing.

  I can’t help her if she isn’t willing to help herself. The age old self-help mantra bounced around the woman’s head, leaving her feeling helpless - insignificant. For the first time in her life, Regan wasn’t comforted by how small she was in the expanse of the universe. She
needed what she did now, for Lily, to matter.

  Walking another twenty yards away from the road, Regan pushed past her apprehensions, and reveled in the darkness as it washed over her like a warm blanket. She knew, had always known, everything she did was ultimately unimportant, but it mattered that she did it anyway.

  Tilting her head upward, a smile formed on her lips as she wiped at the last of her tears. Turning, she walked toward the van with purpose. She had resolved to do something, even if Lily didn’t want it, even if, in the end, the woman she cared for was lost.

  ***

  Retrieving the small metal canister from her backpack, Regan reached behind the driver’s seat and grabbed the crowbar. In spite of the comfort the blunt, metal object gave her, she knew there was a very real chance she could be injured, or worse, killed.

  It wasn’t bad enough that Trent could turn and maul her to death. He could just as easily shoot her utilizing his very human hands and opposable thumbs. After all, this was Texas.

  Regan had parked her van nearly a quarter mile away from the Sexton houses, and had managed to navigate the vehicle thirty yards off the road to further minimize the risk of it being seen. Now, as she approached Lily’s house, her eyes strained to make out the shape of either Lily’s truck or Trent’s.

  Both siblings were there. Whether they were together in the same house or not, Regan couldn’t be sure. Winding her way toward the guest house, Regan saw a shadow move behind the front window, and recognized Lily's silhouette.

  Opting for the more subtle approach of the back door, Regan’s legs and arms trembled as she jogged around the house. Looking across the narrow space between the houses, Regan was relieved to see lights on in the main house. She felt more assured that Trent wasn’t inside the smaller home.

  Gently tapping on the glass pane of the sliding back door, Regan held her breath. Seconds later, Lily pulled a sheer beige curtain back. Her eyes widened when she saw Regan standing on her back porch. Looking past Regan, a grimace crossed the dark haired woman’s face as she shook her head.