The Genius

by Jesse Kellerman

  “When you’re ready,” said Sam, “I’d like to ask you a couple of questions.”

  He nodded distantly. He scrolled down to the bottom of the image, to the legend. Magnified, the type looked ragged. “Do you know where he is?”

  “We’re looking.”

  He nodded again. “It’s strange to have a name,” he said. “For years all I had was a face. It was like he wasn’t a real person.” He looked at Sam. Then he looked back at the screen and said, “Frederick Gudrais. He’s probably not even alive anymore. Is he?”

  There was a silence. I looked at Sam, who said, “Pardon me?”

  “He’d be—what—in his seventies by now. I guess he could be alive.”

  Sam looked at me.

  “That’s not his name,” I said. Those were the first words I’d spoken since introductions, and Jarvis gave me a strange look, one not without resentment. I reached for the mouse, scrolled up, tapped the screen. “That’s Victor Cracke.”

  “So what.”

  “So.” I looked at Sam. “So that’s him. Victor Cracke.”

  “Fine,” said Jarvis, “but that isn’t the man who attacked me. This is.” He pointed to the man on Victor’s left.

  Interlude: 1953.

  At mealtimes he sits where he is supposed to. He never makes the same mistake as the first night. The other boys say Look, it’s Twitter. Victor hates them but he says nothing. Some of the boys try to take his dessert. He fights them and everyone ends up scolded. Instead of taking his dessert they stick their fingers in it or blow their noses in his milk. Victor fights them. Everyone gets scolded.

  Dr. Worthe says I can’t understand why it’s always you sitting in this chair. You must stop fighting. I don’t want to punish you anymore. I’m tired of punishing you.

  Simon is the worst. Simon pinches him under the table. He ties Victor’s shoelaces together so that Victor falls and cuts his lip. Everyone laughs. Victor fights him but Simon is much bigger and it is no use. Simon laughs, his breath smells like garbage. He says Twitter you’re a piece of shit. Victor knows that you don’t want to be a piece of shit. Twitter why don’t you stop staring at the ground? What’s the matter with you Twitter? There are other boys who do not talk and Simon beats them up, too. But he has a special liking for Victor. Twitter I am going to cut your balls off when you’re sleeping. Victor does not understand why anyone would do such a thing, but he is frightened. At night he sleeps with his hands over his balls. Sometimes Simon tries to punch Victor and Victor curls up on the floor and screams until a teacher comes. The teacher tries to lift Victor up but Victor snaps at him, he cannot help himself. They take him to Dr. Worthe’s office where he gets a scolding or else they put him to sleep.

  Twitter who you talking to? There ain’t nobody there.

  Victor ignores him. He is trying to do his assignment.

  Gimme that. Simon tears up his assignment.

  Victor leaps on him and they roll around. Everyone begins to cheer. Simon says into Victor’s ear I’m going to rip your balls off you piece of shit. Victor bites Simon on the chin and Simon howls. He turns Victor over and pins down his arms with his knees and begins hitting Victor in the chest and stomach. Victor throws up. Stop that says the teacher. Stop it right now.

  They take him to the hospital. He likes the hospital. There is no oatmeal. All he does lie in bed and draw. He draws chairs and faces. He draws countries. Some are real and some are pretend. His plays with the bandage on his nose and the nurses say No.

  When he comes back Simon is mad. Simon got punished and now he wants to kill Victor. You wait. One night you’re going to wake up and your balls will be gone.

  Time passes. Victor is fourteen. He and Simon fight often, but they learn to fight in private so that nobody scolds them. Victor grows weary. He does not like to fight but he does not like the scolding even more. Dr. Worthe takes away his library privileges. The library is where he sits and copies pictures from books. There is an atlas that he reads many times. The library gives him all his happiness, and rather than lose that he fights quietly. Simon doesn’t care if he gets his privileges revoked, he only likes to beat up Victor.

  They move to another table because now they are older. Some boys have left. Some boys stay behind at the old table. People come and go. In the spring a new boy comes to the school. His name is Frederick. He is tall, taller than Simon, although skinnier. He has black hair and a long pointy face and a very big mouth. At first he is quiet but sometimes he winks. He has no trouble finding a place at the table. He sits near Simon and Simon says Gimme your cake.

  Frederick does not answer him. He eats his cake. Simon reaches for the cake and Frederick moves the plate out of his reach.

  Gimme your cake.

  Frederick stops eating. He looks at Simon. He says All right. He gives Simon his cake. Simon eats it with his fingers.

  That night Victor is lying in bed when he hears someone moving across the room. He covers his balls and prepares for a fight, bunching up in the corner. He waits. It is Frederick. He is smiling. He whispers.

  Victor.

  Victor stares at him.

  My name’s Freddy.

  Victor says nothing.

  I’ll tell you something, Victor. That son of a bitch is going to leave you alone.

  Cautiously, Victor uncurls.

  You know what I’m talking about?

  Victor shakes his head.

  Freddy smiles. You’ll find out.

  At dinner Simon says to Freddy Gimme your pudding.

  All right.

  That night Simon is sick. They all hear him running to the bathroom. They hear wet noises. The teacher comes to investigate and Simon is spitting blood. That’s what the other boys say.

  Freddy says to Victor Too bad about him huh.

  Victor smiles.

  Freddy and Victor become friends. Freddy gets in trouble a lot but he always seems to get away without punishment. He is much cleverer than Simon. Simon says he is going to kill Freddy but Victor can see how scared Simon really is. He stops beating people up as much and he leaves Victor alone.

  Freddy says I told him he’d better lay off.

  Victor is grateful. He draws Freddy a picture of a heliocanthus.

  You did this for me huh Vic? Freddy calls him Vic. Nobody else calls him that; Victor likes it. Well bow-wow. It’s pretty good.

  Victor shows him the rest of his drawings. By now there are too many to fit in the desk, so he hides them atop a shelf in the library. He stands on a chair to reach them. The box is very heavy. Inside are pictures of flowers and snowflakes, pictures of people and animals, maps with names he made by combining other names together.

  Lookee that says Freddy. Not bad Vic.

  It rains often and he and Freddy sneak to the attic. It is locked but Freddy has the key. They sit under the eaves and watch the swirling tree-tops. Victor takes note of the weather. He never wants to forget being with Freddy so he writes everything down in a little book he got for Christmas, Mrs. Greene sends him one every year. While they lie in the attic Freddy talks about himself. Victor likes the sound of Freddy’s voice.

  I don’t know Vic. I might stay here awhile. They say I gotta leave when I’m seventeen but I don’t know about that. I might find my way back in. There’s fellas here older than that so I don’t see why I shouldn’t be. They think I’m stupid. They gave me some tests but I flunked them all, I knew that they had to send me here. I know what’s good for me. I like it better here than some of the other places I been. The food’s all right. You know? I don’t mind it. I’ll stretch it out as long as I can.

  Nobody knows about their place in the attic. They go there alone. Freddy talks about everything and Victor listens. Time passes. Victor is fifteen. They go to the attic and Freddy says Look. He shows Victor his privates. They look different from Victor’s. Freddy’s privates have hair. He says Your turn. Victor opens his pants. Freddy laughs and Victor is embarrassed. He tries to put his pants back on but Freddy say
s Aw naw I wasn’t laughing at you. He moves Victor’s hands away from his groin. I think it’s just great. Bow-wow. You know how to make it grow? Freddy puts his mouth on Victor’s privates. They get swollen and then Freddy says You ain’t never seen it leak did you? Maybe you ain’t big enough yet. I can. Here. Victor puts his mouth on Freddy’s privates. Now move around. Victor moves around. Freddy touches the back of Victor’s neck. It tickles. Victor loves his friend. He loves Freddy. Freddy says Watch. Victor watches and Freddy’s privates cough up stuff. Milky drops roll down his wrist. Some fly through the air and land on Victor’s foot. He touches them. They feel like oil.

  Victor loves Freddy. He doesn’t mind going to the attic. He remembers the tutor but he doesn’t mind. They take off all their clothes and hold each other. When it is cold they hug together to stay warm. They get dirty on the floor.

  One time Victor gets a nail stuck in his leg. Freddy says Shhh you want them to find out? Stop crying. Victor cannot stop crying. He loves Freddy and he wants to listen but it hurts. Stop it you damn crybaby. Stop it. Freddy slaps Victor. Victor stops crying. Freddy says Christ amighty. By the next morning it stops bleeding and Victor knows Freddy was right to slap him. He will not disappoint him again.

  You ever been on a horse?

  Victor shakes his head.

  I was when I was a kid. My grandpop had a horse. I liked it good enough. One time it kicked my grandpop and broke his arm. Freddy smiles. You shoulda seen it. The bone was sticking out. You ever seen that Vic? It’s got stuff on the inside, bones. You ain’t never gonna believe it. They had to cut off his whole arm cause it didn’t heal right. He was a son of a bitch anyhow. I’m sorry the horse didn’t take off his whole head. But I like horses plenty. They got more nobility than us. You know what nobility is?

  Victor shakes his head.

  It’s what they got. Freddy scratches his bare bottom. He yawns. We ought to get downstairs fore the lesson’s over. Hey look at that. I’m a rude son of a bitch. I bet you know what to do with that don’t you Vic.

  Victor knows what to do.

  People come and go. Simon leaves. Other boys come. Victor takes no notice of them. He sees only Freddy, thinks only of him. He stops writing to Mrs. Greene. Still she sends him books and letters. One year for Christmas all the boys get chessboards. They come with checkers pieces too. Freddy doesn’t like chess. He likes checkers. He and Victor play checkers together in the attic. They kiss and hug and touch each other and play checkers. Victor draws pictures for Freddy. He is happy.

  Victor is seventeen. Freddy says They’re kicking me out.

  Victor begins to cry.

  Don’t worry, I’ll be back.

  But he does not come back. Victor thinks about him every day. He writes letters but Freddy does not write back. Before Freddy left he gave Victor the key to the attic but going there makes him too sad. So he prays. He bargains with God. He makes deals and waits for them to be paid off. He hurts himself and says Now he will come. They find him bleeding and send him to a quiet room. He hurts himself again and they give him pills that make him sick. They give him electric shocks that make him forget things. Before he felt lonely sometimes but this is new. He wants to die. He starts to draw a map, hoping to find Freddy in it. He will draw until he finds him.

  Dr. Worthe takes off his spectacles and rubs his eyes. We’ve known each other a long time haven’t we.

  Victor says nothing.

  I understand that you haven’t been eating. Is that true Victor? You look like you’ve lost weight. What do you have to say for yourself?

  Victor says nothing. He doesn’t care. He feels half-asleep. He hardly speaks to anyone, not even to say please and thank you, which he always tried to do because Mrs. Greene taught him it was good manners to look someone in the eye and say those words. He dreams of Freddy, wakes up with the taste of salt in his mouth. Underneath the blankets he pretends his hand is Freddy’s mouth. It isn’t the same.

  HE RUNS AWAY. He goes at night when everyone else is sleeping. Now that he is older he sleeps in a room with four other boys, instead of the big room where all the younger boys sleep. He waits until everyone is asleep, then he puts on his shoes and goes quietly down the stairs. It is summertime. Outside insects cottonball around the orange lights. He walks across the rear lawn. In the House some lights are still on. He sees in the window the shape of a man lifting dumbbells. It’s the recreational teacher, Mr. Chamberlain. He is not looking in Victor’s direction but Victor sinks into the shadows along the fence. He comes to the front gate. He rarely goes beyond. Sometimes they take them on outings. Once they went to watch a baseball game, and another time they went to see a circus. They went on buses.

  The front gate is locked. He climbs over the fence and falls into the bushes, cutting his arm. He leaves a trail of drops as he walks along the road. He takes off one sock and ties it around his arm. Then he puts his shoe back on and continues walking.

  Freddy lives in a town called Yonkers. Victor found it in the atlas. But he doesn’t know what direction to go in. He walks for hours, until the foot missing the sock begins to blister. He unties the bloody sock. It is crusty. The cut hurts but it isn’t bleeding anymore. He puts the sock back on his foot and keeps walking until he crosses over a bridge. It is pitch-black and muggy. He takes note of the stars. He sees many strange and attractive things but he has no time to waste, he has someplace to go.

  As the sky brightens some trucks drive past. He sees houses, shops, and parked cars. He smells bread baking and his stomach hurts. A boy rides a bicycle with a basket full of newspapers. Victor sees a man sleeping in a car. Victor knocks on the window and the man twitches. He wipes the fog off the windows and squints out at Victor. Then he cranks the window down.

  Victor says Bus station.

  The man points. That way. Then he sees Victor’s arm. Whoa there pal.

  Victor says Thank you and walks away.

  The bus to Yonkers does not depart until eight fifteen, so after he buys his ticket he sits in the station and waits. The clock says six forty-five. Victor counts his money. He has twenty-two dollars and nineteen cents left. Some of the money he saved up over the years, gifts from the man with the moustache. Some of it is money that Mrs. Greene sent on his birthday. He is glad he spent it on a ticket to see Freddy. For the first time in months he feels alive. Hunger rushes into him like a wild dog. Across the street is a store where people are eating. The sign says Pip’s. Victor leaves the station and crosses the street and goes inside and sits down. People read from a piece of paper to a woman and she brings them food. She comes to see him. She stares at his arm.

  Golly. What happened to you?

  He says nothing.

  She gives him a funny look. What’ll it be.

  He does not know what to say.

  Listen kid, I don’t have all morning.

  He picks up the piece of paper and points.

  You want steak for breakfast?

  He senses that he has made a mistake. He points again.

  Coming right up.

  The woman brings him a bowl of oatmeal. He stares at it, poking it with his spoon. He does not eat a bite. Nearby two men sit down and say to the woman Bacon and eggs. When Victor smells their food he regrets.

  What’s the matter?

  He looks at the woman.

  No good?

  He points to the other booth.

  The woman shrugs. You want me to leave that?

  He pushes the bowl away. She takes it and comes back with bacon and eggs.

  He has never tasted anything like it. He savors every bite. The bacon is too greasy but the eggs remind him of Freddy’s mouth. He eats them and asks for another plate of just eggs. She brings it to him. He asks for a third.

  Golly we’re hungry.

  Midway through his fourth plate of eggs he remembers the bus. He hurries out without paying and runs across the street. The woman shouts at him.

  In the station he asks the man for the bus to Yonkers
.

  The one left. There’s another this afternoon.

  Victor sits on the bench and puts his head in his hands. He has made a terrible mistake. He is as stupid as they said. When lunchtime comes he is too afraid to go back across the street. He wishes Freddy was there to help him. He counts his money, he still has twenty-two dollars and nineteen cents.

  That’s him.

  A policeman and Dr. Worthe are there along with some people from the home. They take him. He fights. They put him in the van and he falls asleep.

  He wakes up in the quiet room. He tries to get out of bed but he is tied. He shouts and they come in and he falls asleep again.

  The next time he wakes up Dr. Worthe is sitting at his bedside.

  What are we going to do with you my boy.

  He spends a long time in that room and then they let him go back to his regular room. His roommates say Welcome back Twitter.

  He runs away again. They took his money so he cannot take a bus. He will hitchhike. Freddy told him about hitchhiking and one of his class-mates said once he hitchhiked to Miami and back. Victor walks to the highway and sticks out his thumb. The first car that pulls up is a police car. Victor runs. He jumps off the side of the road and hides in a barn. They find him and bring him back. They give him shots and pills and shocks. They put him in the room. He does not try to run away anymore.