She laughed. “Now that’s the old Doug Logan talking.”
After dinner they took a long, leisurely stroll in the moonlight along the Embarcadero. They walked arm in arm, locked so close that they moved as one. The pungent sea air was damp and biting, with a sudden wind rising over foamy, crashing waves, but Barbara didn’t care. This was a night like none she had ever experienced—a new beginning, imbued with fresh hopes and dreams. She and Doug had found their way back to each other through the darkness. They were alive again, alive in every way. God had brought them healing. And now, this bright magical night, Barbara was aware only of her husband’s protective warmth and gentle caress as they laughed and kissed and counted stars and whispered sweet endearments.
All too soon it was time to head back to their hotel. Doug paid Mrs. Reid and sent her on her way, while Barbara showered and slipped into a lacy negligee. Then, while Doug showered, Barbara checked on Janee. She sat down quietly on the bed and gazed at Janee’s cherubic face, smoothed back her soft, saffron curls. “I love you, my sweet girl,” Barbara whispered. “I just pray that tomorrow you’ll be ours, really ours.”
Janee stirred and her eyelids fluttered. Her rose-petal lips formed the word, “Mommy.”
“God willing,” Barbara whispered, tears starting. “Please, God, let it be. You’ve made me strong, but please don’t ask too much of me now.”
There was a rustling sound. Barbara looked around, startled. It was Doug joining her at Janee’s bedside, loosely tying his velour robe. He nodded at the slumbering child. “She looks like an angel, doesn’t she?”
“She is an angel, Doug. Our little angel.”
“That’s my prayer, Barbie. That she’ll be ours.”
“My prayer, too.”
“He’s already answered so many prayers.”
“I know, Doug.” Barbara rose and slipped into his arms. “He helped us find our way back to each other. I almost wonder if I dare ask for more.”
“God’s in the business of answering prayers. It’s what He does best. I say, go for the moon, if you want it.”
“It’s not the moon I want, Doug.” With an alluring little smile, Barbara ran her fingertips over the solid contours of her husband’s chest. “You smell wonderful. What is that? Something new?”
“Something just for you, Barbie.” He took her hand and led her quietly to their adjoining room. But just as he was shutting Janee’s door, Barbara heard a little voice call out, “Mommy? Daddy? I’m scared.”
With muted sighs they both returned to Janee’s bedside. Janee sat up and rubbed her eyes with her fists. “I had a bad dream.” She looked up at Barbara. “Can I come in bed with you?”
Barbara looked at Doug. “Just for a few minutes?”
He shrugged. “Only until she falls asleep. Then it’s just you and me, babe.”
“Okay, Janee,” said Barbara with a grin. “The big guy says it’s okay.”
“Oh, boy!” Janee chortled. She jumped out of bed, scampered barefoot from her room to the master suite and dove into the king-size bed. She burrowed down under the covers in the very center and waited for Barbara and Doug to join her, one on each side. When they were all snugly under the covers, Janee whispered, “Look. Three bugs in a rug. Now we’re a happy family.”
Barbara’s throat tightened. Almost, little one, but not quite.
Chapter Seventeen
In the car on the way to the courthouse, with Janee chattering happily in the back seat, Barbara felt hopeful about the judge’s decision. But as soon as she sat down in Judge Wetherell’s chambers and met his steely gaze, she was filled with misgivings. What could she possibly say that would counteract Pam and Benny’s destructive words yesterday?
Dear Lord, please help me to keep my eyes focused on You, she prayed silently. Not on myself or the circumstances. Give me Your strength and show Your love through me. I am Your child and I trust You to do what’s best for me…and best for Janee.
Judge Wetherell broke into her thoughts. “Mrs. Logan, are you ready to address the court today regarding your young niece, Janee Myers?”
Barbara straightened her shoulders and swallowed over the dryness in her throat. “Yes, Your Honor.”
The judge sat forward and tented his fingers. “Then please proceed, Mrs. Logan. Tell the court why you believe you and your husband should be allowed to adopt your niece.”
Barbara kept her gaze singularly on the judge, not on Pam and Benny. “Your Honor, what my sister-in-law said yesterday was partly true. After Doug and I lost our daughter Caitlin, we both withdrew into ourselves. We erected barriers around our emotions so that we wouldn’t have to feel anything. We didn’t even know how to comfort each other, so our marriage grew cold. Numbness seemed better than the pain.
“When Janee came into our lives, we were forced to face the truth about ourselves. Doug had buried himself in his work. I was living in the past. We had closed our hearts to each other and to God. Janee forced those doors open and made us feel again. She made us dare to love once more. To love each other. To love another child. To love and trust God again.
“Your Honor, even if you decide we can’t have Janee, she’s done more for us in the brief time she’s been in our lives than anyone else ever could have done. She’s given us back everything we thought we’d lost—our love, our hope, our faith.”
Barbara’s voice caught with sweeping emotion. She drew in a deep breath and steadied herself. Help me, God. Don’t let me falter now. After a tension-filled silence, she went on with renewed conviction. “Your Honor, I ask that you let us adopt Janee, because in our hearts she’s already ours and we’re already hers. We love her as much as any two parents could love a child, and we want what’s best for her, just as our Heavenly Father always chooses what’s best for us. So whatever you decide today, we know it will be in Janee’s best interest and in the providence of God.”
The judge drummed his fingers on his desk. “Is there anything else you wish to say, Mrs. Logan?”
Barbara blotted her eyes with a tissue. Her makeup was running, and she probably looked a sight, but it didn’t matter. She felt a marvelous peace inside, a certainty that God was in charge and everything would be all right, no matter what happened. “No, Your Honor,” she said quietly.
“How about you, Mr. Logan? Would you like to add something to your wife’s remarks?”
Doug reached over and clasped Barbara’s hand tightly in his. His voice was heavy with feeling. “Only this, Your Honor. I love my wife with all my heart, and I love Janee as if she were my own. God help me, I promise to be the best husband and father I can be.”
Judge Wetherell sat back, put on small, wire-rimmed spectacles and folded his robed arms over his ample middle. “Well, then, now I’d like to—”
Benny spoke up, nearly rising from his chair. “Can we say something more, Judge?”
Judge Wetherell peered at Benny over his spectacles. “Mr. Cotter, I think you and Mrs. Cotter had opportunity to convey your opinions yesterday. Do you have something of significance to add to those comments?”
Benny cast an annoyed glance at Doug and Barbara. “No, Judge, I guess I don’t have anything more to add.”
“Fine, then.” Judge Wetherell made a rumbling sound in his throat. “Now I would like to speak privately with young Janee Myers. Where is the girl, Mrs. Logan?”
“She’s just outside, putting together a jigsaw puzzle with your bailiff.”
“Ah, yes.” The judge stifled an amused smile. “Please, send her in as you leave.”
“Judge, when will we know your decision?” asked Benny, standing and straightening his yellow paisley sports jacket. “You’re not going to make us come back another day, are you? I’ve got a business to run back in Oregon, you know.”
“I’m aware of that, Mr. Cotter. The court will render its decision after I’ve talked with your niece.”
“You know my brother and his wife have probably coached her,” said Pam thickly. “I’m sure t
hey’ve filled her head with all kinds of wild promises.”
“Don’t worry, Mrs. Cotter. I’m a grandfather. I think I can handle a five-year-old. I’m sure we’ll have a very enlightening conversation.”
For over half an hour Barbara and Doug sat on a hard bench in the hall outside the courtroom, while Judge Wetherell visited with Janee in his chambers. Pam and Benny sat on a bench some distance away, hurling smoldering glances, refusing even to engage in chitchat.
Finally the bailiff signaled for the four of them to rejoin the judge in his chambers. Judge Wetherell was sitting behind his desk with Janee on his lap. She smiled contentedly as she tore the wrapper off a candy bar and offered the judge a bite.
“No, thank you, Janee,” he said with a hefty chuckle. “It’s all yours. I’m watching my waistline, you know, and there’s an awful lot of it to watch.”
As everyone sat down, the judge shuffled several papers on his desk while still balancing Janee on his knee. As the tension in the room mounted, he cleared his throat loudly and said, “The young lady and I have had a very nice visit. I’ve learned all about her little stuffed friend Zowie and the elegant Mrs. Miniver, and the nesting boxes Janee placed around her mountain cabin for the baby animals.”
He paused and smiled at Janee to make sure he had all of his details correct. Janee nodded, and he proceeded. “I’ve also learned that Janee had a very pleasant visit with her Aunt Pam and Uncle Benny in Oregon. She’s very fond of both of you, Mr. and Mrs. Cotter.”
“Of course she is,” exclaimed Pam, pleased.
Barbara and Doug exchanged concerned glances. What Barbara feared most was happening. The judge had been swayed by their arguments. Could she endure this? Her heart hammered in her chest. Surely everyone could hear. Please, God, please!
“Janee has also been very happy staying with her Aunt Barbara and Uncle Doug in their cabin in the mountains,” said Judge Wetherell, smiling benevolently at Janee. “They’ve played lots of games and gone for walks in the woods and fed the squirrels and made pinecone people. She says she has started calling the Logans ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ because they love her the way mommies and daddies love their children.”
Barbara reached for Doug’s hand. Tears flooded her eyes.
Judge Wetherell’s tone turned solemn as he gazed at Pam and Benny. “Mr. and Mrs. Cotter, you made many glowing promises yesterday regarding what you would give Janee if you adopted her. The best schools. A beautiful home. Anything her heart desired. But never did you mention the one most important thing. Love.”
Barbara held her breath. The world seemed to stop on its axis, waiting, waiting.
“From what I’ve witnessed today,” Judge Wetherell continued, “Janee is already receiving plenty of that very crucial commodity. From the Logans. They love her and she loves them, and as far as I’m concerned that’s the most vital ingredient in any relationship. Therefore, the court finds in favor of Doug and Barbara Logan. The papers will be drawn up for them to adopt their young niece, Janee Myers. This case is dismissed.”
For Barbara, the next few moments were like something out of a dream. She was vaguely aware of standing and moving in slow motion toward the judge’s desk. She was aware of Doug catching her around the waist and saying something, his face beaming with joy and excitement. She was aware of Janee jumping down from the judge’s lap and racing toward her, and somehow she and Doug and Janee converging in one delirious hug, the three of them exchanging bushels of kisses and tears and laughter.
After signing the necessary legal documents, Barbara and Doug linked arms, with Janee in the middle, and paraded out of the courthouse, swinging Janee in the air between them, letting her soar in the circle of their love.
Epilogue
One year later
As Barbara gazed up at the huge banner over the open doors of the elaborately decorated hotel ballroom, she swallowed over a growing lump in her throat. She wasn’t going to cry. She had promised herself, no tears. But they were coming anyway, unbidden, unstoppable as her eyes moved over the heart-stirring words of the blue-and-gold banner.
Celebrating the Opening of the
Caitlin Logan Memorial Pediatric Wing
Barbara looked at Doug beside her, handsome and debonair in his black tuxedo, a red rose boutonniere in his lapel. He had never looked more proud or more impassioned. Tears glistened in his smoky blue eyes as they did in hers. With a quavering little smile she tucked her arm in his and whispered, “This is the day we’ve waited for, darling. We’re doing the last good thing we can for our daughter.”
Doug nodded, a tendon tightening in his sculpted jaw. “Caitlin would have loved knowing that thousands of children will be helped in her name.”
“Maybe she does know.” One warm tear streamed down Barbara’s cheek. “It gives Caitlin’s short life a whole new purpose, doesn’t it? One that will continue long after we’re gone.”
“God is good,” whispered Doug, patting her hand.
Janee tugged on Barbara’s arm. “Mommy, let’s go in. The party’s already started.”
Barbara smiled down at her precious Janee, looking like an angel in her pink taffeta party dress, her golden hair in sun-washed ringlets. “We’re going in, sweetie. Right now.”
“Can I have some pink punch, Mommy? A big glass? And a big piece of Caitlin’s birthday cake?”
“Sure, honey. Only it’s not Caitlin’s birthday cake.”
“Yes, it is, Mommy,” Janee insisted. “You said this is Caitlin’s party. So it’s her cake.”
Barbara smiled, waves of emotion rising in her chest. “You’re right, baby. It’s Caitlin’s cake, and you can have all you want.”
Doug escorted them through a mingling throng of graceful women in formal sequined gowns and elegant men in tuxedos and dinner jackets. Their destination—the refreshment table overflowing with fancy hors d’oeuvres and exotic delicacies: canapes, buffalo wings, smoked salmon, shrimp cocktail, eggrolls and stuffed mushrooms.
Janee solemnly surveyed the sprawling feast and shook her head in dismay. “I want French fries!”
“I’m sorry, honey,” said Doug. “French fries aren’t on the menu here.”
“Why don’t you try an eggroll, sweetie?” suggested Barbara. “Then we’ll head over to the dessert table and get you that slice of cake you’ve been waiting for.”
Janee clapped her hands. “Yippee! Get me a piece with lots of yummy frosting, Mommy.” She opened her arms wide. “This much!”
“Don’t worry, honey. You’ll have frosting coming out your ears.”
“No, Mommy. In my mouth!”
Barbara laughed. “Right. In your mouth, not ears. What am I thinking of?”
Janee hugged Barbara’s arm. “You’re funny, Mommy. Isn’t she funny, Daddy?”
Doug chuckled and gave Barbara an amused glance. “I’m staying out of this discussion.”
Barbara nudged him playfully. “You’d better, if you know what’s good for you.”
“Oh, I do, believe me.”
As they headed for the dessert table, Barbara noticed a familiar face in the crowd. Trent Townsend, of all people. In a white dinner jacket, at that! Spotting Barbara, he made his way over, a willowy redhead on his arm.
“Barbara! I wondered if you’d arrived yet.” Trent released the redhead and took Barbara in his arms. He kissed her cheek, then offered Doug his hand. “Hey, ol’ man. Thanks for sending me the invitation. How’s it going?”
“Not bad. How about you?”
“We just got here,” said Barbara breathlessly. “I’m so glad Doug invited you, Trent. It’s quite a reception, isn’t it?”
“A wonderful occasion, darlin’,” Trent agreed. “Everyone in town must be here, including the entire medical staff.” He leaned over confidentially to Doug. “But tell me, who’s running the hospital?”
Doug chuckled. “I’m not sure.”
Trent turned back to Barbara and his voice softened. “I know how much this gala affair
means to you and Doug.”
“Yes, it’s very special.” Before she got choked up again, Barbara turned her gaze to the auburn-haired beauty in the green velvet gown and smiled.
“Oh, Barb,” said Trent, slipping his arm around the woman, “I’d like you to meet my wife, Valerie. Valerie, this is Barbara Logan and her husband Doug and their daughter, Janee.”
As everyone shook hands and exchanged pleasantries, Janee gave Trent a big bear hug. “We missed you, Uncle Trent.”
He swept her up in his arms. “Well, I’ve missed you, too, kiddo. Are you still at the cabin?”
“No, we moved back to the big fancy house. It’s all fixed up again. No more cracks from the earthquake. And guess what, Uncle Trent!”
“What is it, sweet stuff?”
“I have the pretty room with all the bears and dolls! It’s all mine!”
“That’s terrific. I’ll have to come visit you sometime.”
“Please come, Uncle Trent. You can meet Mrs. Miniver. You’ll like her. She’s the prettiest bear in the world.”
“Well, I’d like to meet her. May I bring Valerie?”
“Sure! She can play with my dolls.”
Valerie smiled. “I’d like that, honey.”
Trent turned to Doug. “So tell me, are you still in fund-raising? Or are you back doing your thing in the operating room again?”
Doug ran his hand over his curly black hair. “You could say I gave up fund-raising for the surgical suite. It’s good to be back where I belong.”
“What made you change your mind?”
Doug gave Barbara a knowing glance. “I guess you could say I was listening to the wrong voice for a while—the voice of guilt and fear—when I should have been listening to the affirming voice of God.”
Trent grinned. “Yeah, I’m learning to listen to God myself. Valerie makes sure we’re in church every Sunday. I’m beginning to understand what Barb meant when she talked about God healing wounded hearts.”
Janee patted Trent’s cheek. “Guess what, Uncle Trent!”
A Family To Cherish Page 17