He put his large hand over her small one. “What is it, sweet pea?”
Janee drew in a deep breath as if preparing to expel all the words in one excited breath. “I’m going to have a new little baby brother or sister.”
Trent gave Barbara a quizzical smile. “You’re expecting a baby?”
A pleasant flush warmed Barbara’s cheeks. “Yes. In about six months.” Her hands moved unthinkingly to her slightly swelling middle. “It’s another of God’s little miracles.”
Trent set Janee down and pumped Doug’s hand. “Well, congratulations again, ol’ man. You’ve been busier than I thought.”
Doug slipped his arm around Barbara and drew her close. With his free hand he cupped her slender hands resting on her abdomen. “We’re pretty excited,” he agreed, merriment coloring his voice. “In fact, all three of us are walking around in the clouds these days. Right, Janee?”
“No, Daddy. I walk around on the ground. See?” She took several exaggerated steps in her shiny black patent-leather shoes.
“What I mean, honey, is you’re thrilled about the baby, too. You’re already making plans to teach your baby brother or sister all sorts of stuff. Like how to walk. And swim. And throw a ball. Right?”
Janee hunched her shoulders and rocked back and forth on her heels. “And I’m going to teach her how to color and make pinecone people and nesting boxes,” she chimed in with a wide, ear-to-ear grin.
A booming voice from the platform silenced them momentarily. “Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention!” Dr. Underwood, the hospital administrator, a slender, silver-haired man, spoke into the crackling microphone. “Folks, I’d like to have Dr. Douglas Logan come up to the podium and say a few words. As you all know, Dr. Logan is responsible for the hospital’s new pediatric wing. It is through his tireless fund-raising efforts that this worthy project has reached fruition. Let’s give Dr. Logan a rousing round of applause.”
Amid the applause, Doug gazed down at Barbara, his eyes crinkling with pleasure and a hint of embarrassment. He was still holding her in his arms. “I guess he means me.”
Barbara smiled adoringly. “Your public awaits.”
“Then it looks like I’d better get up there. Say a prayer for me, okay?”
“I will. Share your heart, darling. They’ll love you…just as I do.”
Doug tightened his embrace and kissed Barbara soundly on the lips. “I love you, Barbie,” he whispered into her ear. “More than you’ll ever know.”
She sank into the deep, dusky blue of his eyes. “I love you, too, Doug. With all my heart.”
Janee squeezed her way between them. “Me, too, Mommy and Daddy. Let me in! Group hug!”
“Amen! Group hug!” boomed Doug, drawing Janee into their embrace. They hugged tightly, laughing breathlessly. Then Doug took their hands and stepped back with an expansive grin. “Listen, you two, I’m not going up on that stage alone. We’re in this together, we’re in this for a lifetime, so the three of us are going up there—one of you on each side while I make my speech. Okay?”
“Actually, it’ll be the four of us up there,” said Barbara, patting her rounded tummy, “but who’s counting?”
“She means the baby, Daddy,” said Janee, her green eyes dancing, her cheeks blushing pink as rose petals. “Remember? The baby!”
“Are you kidding?” said Doug, meeting Barbara’s gaze with glistening eyes. “I could never forget our baby.”
The applause rose as Barbara, Doug and Janee linked arms and headed for the stage, laughing, moving as one, warm and secure in their love—and God’s. It was a rare, exquisite moment that Barbara would cherish for the rest of her life.
Dear Reader,
When during my fourth pregnancy I learned my unborn baby had a fatal condition that would claim her life shortly after birth, I wrestled not only with grief but with fear that such a profound loss would sever my close walk with God. Would I be bitter? Would I blame God for letting Misty die? Would I find it hard to trust Him as I had before?
But God was faithful. As a result of that long, hard journey through the shadows—and reality—of death, God gave me a precious intimacy with Him I never could have known outside of grief. The night my daughter died, I felt a tangible awareness of God’s presence. It seemed as if Jesus Himself were rocking me to sleep in His arms while His Spirit whispered sweet consolations in my heart. That night I learned a crucial truth that sustains me even today: Better is a time of trial with God’s presence than a time of plenty without Him.
As I wrote the story of Barbara and Doug Logan, a couple who after four years are still mourning the death of their five-year-old daughter, I wanted to show how grief can ravage the best of marriages. At a time when couples most need to turn to each other for love and solace, many turn inward and build a wall around their emotions, shutting out the person they need most. Doug turns to his work; Barbara chooses to live in the past. Only through another child—a wide-eyed, curly-haired orphan named Janee—do Doug and Barbara begin to find their way back to each other.
Often, those who grieve shut God out, as well. That is tragic, for He alone is our lifeline when the tides of loss and heartache threaten to drown us. I don’t know your losses and heartaches, but I know they are there. You may feel you have no one to turn to, that no one understands. But God does. Jesus loves you with a boundless, immeasurable love, a love that took Him to the cross and delivered Him from the tomb, an unconditional love that accepts you just as you are, this very moment in time. He yearns to gather you into His arms and dry your tears. Please open your heart and let Him love and comfort you.
And remember, I love you, too.
Warmly,
ISBN: 978-1-4592-2912-9
A FAMILY TO CHERISH
Copyright © 2000 by Carole Gift Page
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