Protective Love (Hidden Secrets)

by P. J. Belden

  I walked into my room and found Jason was asleep, still naked. He was a beautiful sight. I sighed before crawling into bed next to Jason, pulling the covers over both of us. Before I could stop it, I started crying. Jason stirred and pulled me tighter against him.

  “Hey, what’s wrong? Are you upset because I fell asleep?”

  “No, I just want all this to be over and nothing but a damn nightmare. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I just…”

  I cried until I fell asleep.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  ~JASON~

  I held Kayla tight against me. In all the time I had spent with her, she had never broken down like that. She definitely deserves to break down. There’s no denying that the woman had been through hell. I was almost certain that she broke down like that in her own time, but she had never let me see it. How can I save her?

  With my past demons, I let them push her away in the beginning, but in the end I just couldn’t let her go. If I had let my past win, I would have lost this. The level of happiness and peacefulness that I felt right then would have never existed. Even if I had let her go, I would have always thought about her and always remembered her. You can’t forget Kayla Williams. I still remember the speech that Nate had given me.

  “Dude, it sucks that you were played like that. It sucks that your life almost shattered because of it. There’s no denying either of those things. Remember, I was here to help you pick up the pieces. I got you back and forth to rehab, got you back and forth to the doctor, helped you clear debts and helped you rebuild what had been broken by the greedy slut and ass from hell. There is nothing they did that Kayla was involved in. Why are you forcing it on her? Hell, look at her, she’s still suffering her own nightmare. Yeah, she’s not running into your arms, but she’s not running away either. Even she seems to be trying. Look, all I’m trying to say is that shit fucking happens, bro. Once we step in pile after pile, eventually we learn to look down and watch where we’re going. If you ever want to be happy in your future, you need to start by not letting your past in your present. Kayla’s a good person. Not to mention, she’s banging hot… What? Sorry man, but she is! If you can’t see she’s different, that she’s worth it, then you don’t deserve her. Think about that man. I gotta jet. Picking up this hot red head tonight, she just hasn’t met me yet!”

  I don’t know what I was so stuck on other than maybe the embarrassment of the whole thing. Looking down at Kayla, who was sleeping peacefully in my arms, I wondered how I could have ever lumped her in the same place as Kathi? Why I dwelled on my past and held it for so long was beyond me, but with the outcome as it was, I was glad I did. Kayla was all I wanted. Together we could heal all wounds, hers and mine. One day I might go into more detail on how bad things got for me, but not then.

  It seemed I had no more than fallen asleep before I was being woken up by Kayla shifting around. Every time she shifted, she would rub her ass into me. It was driving me crazy. I groaned when she did it again. I felt her tense slightly. Pretending to sleep, I just laid there and tightened my hold on her, then relaxed.

  I must have fallen asleep again because when I opened my eyes, she was not in the bed. The smell of food floated into the bedroom, waking me fully. I grabbed my bag and dug out my pajama bottoms, slipping them on before walking out to the kitchen. Walking over to the stove where she was cooking, I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her neck.

  “Good Morning, sunshine.”

  She let out a deep breath.

  “Good Morning. Did you sleep well?”

  “The best sleep I’ve had in years,” I spoke into her neck as I continued to press kisses on it.

  “You should have after your night,” Carson spoke from behind me.

  I felt Kayla stiffen.

  “What?” I whispered.

  “He heard us last night,” she whispered after a moment.

  “Oh, sorry,” I chuckled lightly.

  She whirled around, spatula in hand.

  “How can you find this funny?”

  I got the feeling that I shouldn’t have laughed. She looked horrified. The look made me laugh a little harder. If anyone should be embarrassed, it was me, but she seemed to be embarrassed enough for the both of us. She smacked me with the spatula.

  “Hey! What was that for?” I asked while still laughing.

  “That right there! You’re laughing about this. It’s not funny!”

  “Actually, it is,” I said right before running around the kitchen island to the other side.

  I could see Carson smiling out of the corner of my eye. Kayla started moving around the counter. I kept moving away from her. Soon, I was in front of the stove. I saw the bacon sitting on the counter. I went to grab a piece when Kayla yelled at me.

  “Don’t you dare! Breakfast isn’t ready yet.”

  She moved quickly toward me. I snatched a piece and popped it in my mouth, then ran. She may have been mad moments ago, but because of my antics, she’d forgotten her anger. It was why I did crazy things from time to time. With all that was already going on in her head, I wanted to give her those moments where she forgot, and just let go of everything.

  “Mmmm! This bacon is good,” I goaded as I snatched another piece on the way back around the island.

  “Jason! So help me, you touch another piece, you will regret it.”

  I reached out to grab another piece and she brings the spatula down on my hand - hard. I yanked my hand back amidst her laughter. The sting immediately disappeared and I put my game face on as I stalked toward her.

  “Jason. Don’t do it. I can see the look on your face, you know?”

  Smirking at her, I wrapped my arms around her and leaned down and kissed her neck before spinning out of her arms with the plate of bacon in my hands. Quickly moving around the counter, I put a piece in my mouth and chewed with a smile on my face.

  “You little shit!”

  She moved toward me and another piece goes into my mouth. When she moved faster, I set the plate in front of Carson and took off to the stove, grabbing the plate of sausage links. I repeated my steps while eating a couple of pieces before setting the plate in front of Carson again, who smiled a big thank you. We continued the dance with the fried potatoes and biscuits.

  “Dude, get me the pancakes and the syrup next,” Carson hollered through laughter.

  Kayla moved back to the counter and held the batter for pancakes in her hands. Before I knew what was happening batter splattered all over me. Kayla died laughing and so did Carson. I stalked toward Kayla, took the bowl from her hands, and gave her a huge hug.

  “Ah Jason! You’re getting it all over me.”

  “That’s the point,” I said, reaching back with one arm and dipping my hand in the batter, then wiping it on her face.

  She screamed and grabbed the batter, flinging a handful at me. The laughter and the food fight continued. I went to run after her and slipped on a mess of batter, falling hard on my ass, much to Carson’s entertainment. Kayla came around the other end of the island and started to fall. I moved fast to catch her. She knocked me down to my back and landed hard on my chest.

  We were both complete messes. Kayla had batter everywhere. I wiped a batter soaked strand of hair out of her face, which was so smeared with batter it almost looked like she was wearing one of those beauty masks. I ran my thumb across her cheek.

  “You’re so beautiful, even with pancake batter in your hair,” I whispered before leaning up and taking her lips with mine.

  “No pancakes, then?” Carson called from the counter.

  Kayla pulled back and smiled down at me before standing up.

  “I’ll make more batter. Just let me take a shower first.”

  When Kayla left the room, I started cleaning up. It was just about everywhere. I chuckled as I picked up a rag and began to wipe up our mess. I could still see Kayla’s beautiful face as we played around. It was always an amazing sight seeing her let down her walls, even just fo
r those few moments. She needed to do it more, and I would make sure she did it as often as possible.

  “Thank you.”

  Carson’s words broke through my thoughts.

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  He laughed.

  “I said that I was grateful for what you did for my sister just then. That brightness hasn’t been in her eyes for a long time. You’re great to her, and for that, I thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me for something I do because I love her. I love seeing her relax and let her guard down, even for a little bit. I think he’s taken enough of her time and life. She deserves it all and I will make sure she has it.”

  “You love her? Have you told her?”

  “Yes, I have, but not before I hurt her.”

  The look on Carson’s face changed and I knew he was reacting to the hurt part. I figured hurt or not he’d still do some major damage and I needed to explain the situation, so I did.

  “Now, I find out that he is helping Alex and has even made a move on her. The thought makes me sick and volatile. Thankfully I have more sense than running in there and beating the shit out of him. I have a plan and have already talked to Nate about it. We’ve started and it should all be done before long.”

  “I’m glad she found you, man. Or you found her, whatever the case may be. She needed you. I think you are helping her more than you know. You help her on a level that none of us can. Be good to her because if you hurt her again, I won’t be so forgiving.”

  “Understood. I don’t plan on hurting her ever again,” I said with finality.

  There was absolutely no way I was going to hurt or let go of Kayla. She was it for me. My mom would always tell me that I would come across the one girl that would show me the fight was worth it. When she said it then, I didn’t believe her. We would often get into arguments about it. She was the ‘love at first sight person’ and at that time, I wasn’t even sure love existed. Sure, my parents loved each other and they were happy, but for me, I just didn’t see it or experience it, so it didn’t exist.

  Now, ‘love at first sight’ wasn’t what I thought it meant. I thought it meant you seen someone and immediately you were in love with him or her, but that wasn’t what it was at all. It was that you met the one person that consumed your thoughts, pulled you to them. Someone you couldn’t live without and needed to be near. It was the person you fought wanting to be around, but couldn’t stay away. It was the person you meet and you automatically find yourself second guessing your views on things. That was what I had with Kayla. She made me doubt everything I once thought. She kept me on my toes and she pushed past all the bullshit I had in me.

  By the time Kayla had gotten out of the shower, I had pretty much everything cleaned up. I kissed her on the cheek and headed to the shower myself. It smelled like her walk in and I inhaled deeply. I would never forget that smell for as long as I lived. Once I showered, I headed back out to the kitchen.

  “Do you want any pancakes?”

  “No thanks sunshine. I had enough food during the food fight.” I laughed and kissed her cheek. “I will be back in a little while. I need to run a couple errands. Will you be okay here?”

  “Yeah. How long will you be?” she asked, not meeting my eyes.

  “Not long. Should be back in a couple hours.” I looked at her face. “Everything okay?”

  She forced a smile.

  “Fine.”

  “You can’t lie to me, Kay. Did I do something?”

  She sighed.

  “You’re leaving,” she mumbled.

  Folding my arms around her, I pulled her close to me. I looked over at Carson, who shrugged and left the kitchen. Holding her for a moment, I ran my hands up and down her back. What had caused this, I didn’t know, but somehow I felt like it was something I did.

  “Hey, I’ll be right back. I promise.”

  She nodded her head.

  “I need to check on Carson. See you later.”

  She tried to move past me, and I knew then that she was really upset about my leaving. I wasn’t sure why, but she was. I just couldn’t take her with me for what I was about to do. I pulled her back to me and kissed her. Shoving my hands into her hair, I deepened the kiss. Slowly I walked her backward until she ran into the counter. Bending down I lifted her up and placed her on the counter, still kissing her.

  After a few moments, I pulled back and leaned down to her shoulder and ran kisses across it and up her neck. She shivered against me and I heard a tiny moan.

  “I love you, Kayla.”

  There was a pause before I heard a breathy “I love you too, Jason.”

  After saying goodbye one more time, I headed out the door and drove out to my first stop. The whole way there, I thought about what I needed to say and how to say it. I tried to focus on the task at hand, and not the swarm of feelings I had going on. It was going to be the first and only time I had ever done this before, and to say I knew what I was doing would have been a fucking lie. My palms were sweaty and suddenly I wondered where my composure was.

  After parking and giving myself a little pep talk, I walked into the building and my stomach wanted to lurch when I tried to speak. I swallowed hard.

  “Good Morning. I need to speak to Mr. Larry Williams.”

  “Sure. Go on in, what do I care.” She snapped.

  “Ooookkkaaayyy…” I turned and walked toward his office.

  The door was open and he was at his desk, writing and going over files. I knocked on the door frame and waited for him to look up.

  “Jason, so nice to see you,” he smiled. “Is Kayla with you?”

  “No, Sir. I needed to talk to you.” I pushed past my nerves.

  “Okay, come in and shut the door.”

  We moved to the sitting area and he stared at me. I know he was waiting for me to speak and I just couldn’t get my mouth to open. I had never been this nervous before in my life.

  “Go on, son.”

  “I love your daughter, Sir.”

  “I know you do. She loves you.”

  “Yes, Sir. I came here to ask for your permission to ask her to marry me.”

  Suddenly my nerves gave way to defensiveness and I found I needed to defend my wanting to marry her.

  “I thought that after what happened a few years back that having another relationship was out of the question for me. I thought that I was meant to be alone. Then I met Kayla that day at the party. I can’t tell you how much she has changed everything around me. I love her. She’s it for me. My everything. I want to marry her, and maybe someday start a family. I just want to be with her.”

  Larry sat quietly for several minutes. It caused me to shift in my seat nervously. The man was a lawyer - he knew how to make you sweat without even saying anything. It was working overtime right then. I wanted to jump to the other couch and shake him until he gave me the answer, but instead I sat there, not making a sound.

  “Jason, I can’t tell you how thankful I am for everything that you have done for my daughter. You brought her smile and laughter back. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

  Oh Shit! He’s telling me no. He doesn’t want me marrying his daughter…

  “…to be a part of this family.”

  “What?” I shook my head.

  “I said I would love for you to be a part of this family. You can marry my daughter.”

  I actually jumped up and yelled “YES!” right in front of Larry. Just the thought of him possibly saying no made me realize exactly how important she was to me, and would always be to me. She was and would always be my sunshine!

  “Thank you, Sir. Thank you so much!”

  He hugged me, and I ran out the door to go order that ring that I had seen the other day. Once I had the ring, I stopped by the station to turn everything in and clear my desk out. It had only been two hours, but I already missed Kayla and the light she added to my life. I thought about the ring that would be in soon and hoped I picked the right size ring.
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  Once that was settled, it was time to get my plan in action to propose. I prayed she said yes because I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  ~KAYLA~

  I was a ball of nerves. Jason told me that he had a special evening planned for us. When I begged to know what it was he wouldn’t tell me.

  “Come on. Tell me,” I whined.

  Yes, I whined. I wanted to know. How was I supposed to dress for a date if I didn’t know what I was dressing for?

  “Sunshine, I want to surprise you. If I tell you where we are going and what we are doing, it won’t be a surprise.”

  “I don’t like surprises,” I whispered.

  Surprises had never been a good thing for me. The surprise was walking into my room and being attacked, walking out of a building and being attacked. The surprise was threats, nightmares, cuts, bruises, and panic attacks. No surprises and I do not go well together.

  “Baby, this is me you’re talking to. Have I ever done anything that would hurt you or scare you?”

  “No, but-”

  “No buts. Please just dress nice, and I will be there to pick you up around six, okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, don’t sound too happy about it,” he chuckled. “I love you, Kayla.”

  It hasn’t gotten old yet. He loved me. It was still hard to believe even though he had told me countless times since our first time. It was just unbelievable to think that someone could love me even with all the baggage I carried with me. He loved me despite all of that. I smiled.

  “I love you too,” I whispered.

  “I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that. See you later tonight.”

  Later, I stood in front of my mirror wondering if what I wore was nice enough or too nice. On a break from her tour, Mary helped pick out my clothes and dolled me up. I didn’t like make-up so she went light on it. Looking in my mirror, I didn’t even recognize myself. I was wearing one of Mary’s dresses. It was strapless and fitted at the top, but flared out at the waist. It ended just above the knees and showed far more cleavage than I had ever shown before, but Mary insisted it would drive Jason nuts.