Ready To Love Again

by Annalyse Knight

  Katie muttered under her breath when Gina left the room to get the kids ready. Chase smiled. There was no point in arguing with Gina. While he finished off the rest of the pancakes, Katie went upstairs to take a shower and change into something Gina had loaned her, and his sister took the kids to school.

  Gina returned a short time later and began to clean up the kitchen. “So what were you two doing when Tony came in your room this morning?”

  Chase ignored her, hoping to stop the teasing before it started.

  She thought aloud. “Hmm. I’ve never heard you yell at Tony for coming into your room before. You either didn’t want to be interrupted, or you were in a compromising position,” she mused, making Chase’s ears heat up with embarrassment.

  “Drop it, Gina.”

  The sound of Katie’s footsteps on the stairs ended their conversation for the moment, but Chase wasn’t fooled into thinking it wouldn’t come up again.

  “Ready?” Chase asked Katie when she stepped down from the last stair. She nodded, and he took her into his arms. Gina and her teasing were forgotten when he stared at the beautiful woman in front of him. He brushed his lips against hers, and she relaxed in his embrace.

  “Get a room,” Gina said, poking her brother in the ribs. “Let’s go. I’m going to be late.”

  He felt a huge sense of disappointment when he dropped Katie off at her house. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and he watched her until her front door closed. With a heavy heart, he backed out of her driveway and onto the busy road.

  “I really like her,” Gina said.

  “Yeah. I do, too.”

  Gina chattered away about her upcoming wedding and the stress of all the details involved in making her day perfect. Chase tuned out most of what she said and inserted an occasional mm-hmm or nod whenever she paused. His mind was fixed on the memory of Katie in his bed and the unease he couldn’t seem to shake.

  “Then Daniel put on a purple skirt with some matching heels and did the Macarena.”

  “Mm-hmm, that’s nice.”

  “Chase!” Gina’s tone made him turn and look at her with a raised brow. “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”

  Shamefaced, Chase shook his head. “Sorry, Gina.”

  She huffed, folding her arms across her chest. After a few minutes, she gave him her angelic smile, and he knew he was in trouble.

  “What are your plans with Katie?”

  He couldn’t tell if she had some kind of dastardly plan to put into motion. “We’re going to take the kids to the Good Old Days in a couple weeks.”

  “No. I mean, just the two of you?”

  “We haven’t talked about it.”

  He pulled into the turnabout in front of the aquarium.

  “Okay, my stupid brother. I think you’ve forgotten how to date.”

  “Give me a break, Gina. It’s been over thirteen years.”

  Ignoring his snarky comment, she continued. “You need to think about doing some things without the kids. I don’t have any major events scheduled for the weekend in three weeks, so I’ll take all the kids,” Gina said, climbing out of the car. “You think of something special to do with your sweetheart.”

  She gave Chase a small wink, then dashed across the street and disappeared into the aquarium. He pulled back onto Cannery Row and thought about her proposal.

  Images of Katie lying in his bed with her cheek on his pillow flickered through his mind: her hair fanned out behind her, the taste of her on his lips, her hands traveling across his body.

  Then Liz’s words struck him like a slap back into reality—“In Mom’s bed?” Her disappointment, anger, and tears during the last three years crashed around him like tumultuous waves, extinguishing the flames he felt for Katie. His chest tightened while Liz’s words echoed in his mind.

  What have I done?

  He felt like he’d betrayed every memory he ever shared with his wife. A pain gripped his chest, cutting off his breath while he recounted the times he and Terri had made love in that bed. Other memories flashed through his mind: lying in bed talking about their children’s futures, Terri nursing Tony at three in the morning, reading a book to Liz. His breath came in quick gasps, and he pulled over to the side of the road. Chase recognized his symptoms for what they were—another panic attack.

  Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was being ridiculous, but his emotions screamed that he had been unfaithful. Chase managed to get a grip when another fresh wave of guilt assaulted him over his struggle to let go of his wife. Katie deserved more than his halfhearted attempt at a relationship, but he was too selfish to give her up. He could already see, in the short time they’d been together, that she could pull him from murky depths of his grief. Needing to reassure himself he was making the right decision, he reached for his phone and dialed her number.

  “Miss me so soon?” she asked when she answered.

  He took a deep breath and let the sound of her voice relax him.

  “Yeah, I needed to hear your sweet voice again,” he said, hoping she wouldn’t hear the tremor in his voice.

  “Chase, are you okay?”

  He ran his hand over his face. The last thing he wanted was to explain. He tried to focus and clear away the remaining feelings that had overwhelmed him before he spoke again.

  “Chase?”

  “I’m fine,” he whispered, resting his head on the steering wheel.

  “Are you sure? You don’t sound like yourself.”

  “I’m much better now,” he said, wanting to reassure her as the last of the attack subsided. “I wanted to find out if you have plans Saturday evening three weekends from now.”

  “No. Just baseball. Why?”

  “Gina offered to take the kids so we could do something, just the two of us.”

  “Like what?”

  An idea started to form, and he smiled into the phone. “It’ll be a surprise. You’re going to love it.”

  Chase sat in his car after he hung up, thinking about the onslaught of panic and anguish he had experienced. There was only one way to solve his problem and ensure this didn’t happen again.

  I need to buy a new bed.

  ~*~

  Chase called Katie every day he worked the night shift, and on several occasions, he found time to take a break from work while she brought him dinner. Shawn loved the koi ponds at the hospital and spent all his time watching the fish while Chase and Katie talked at a nearby table.

  Whenever they spoke on the phone or had dinner, their conversations were always filled with new information. She’d learned that he’d played baseball in college until he blew out his shoulder by overworking his arm, which was why he was so adamant the boys follow the rules of the league. Chase had been inspired to practice medicine while watching his father’s example over the years. He’d spent many summers as a child “vacationing” in other countries while his father worked with local physicians, teaching them the newest breakthroughs in everything from immunizations to heart surgery. At one time, he’d considered teaching like his father, but he’d found that he enjoyed working in the fast pace of the hospital more than he did spending hours grading homework. Katie also learned he had gone to Stanford because his father taught at UCSF and he didn’t want the kind of pressure that came from being a professor’s kid. This decision hadn’t gone over well with his father, but it became a running debate in their family over which school was superior.

  Every time he mentioned his mother, it was with a reverence that made her a little homesick for her own parents. Mia O’Donnell’s passion was the Ronald McDonald House. Since her children had left the nest, she spent every spare moment she had volunteering and raising money for her favorite charity. Katie felt a little intimidated by how perfect his parents seemed, but when she mentioned it to him, he laughed and told her they were far from saints.

  In turn, she shared with him the joys of growing up with two brothers and living in an average, middle-American home with parents who s
truggled to pay the bills. There were no trips to Europe, the Middle East, or South America like he had experienced. However, she shared everything about her road trips across the country in a hot car with two stinky boys to see historic sites and national treasures like the Grand Canyon, Washington, D.C., and Disneyland.

  It was harder to talk about the reasons she’d left New Mexico, but Chase made her feel comfortable, and little by little, she opened up. At first, her comments only revolved around Victor’s decisions and how they affected Shawn, but they soon morphed into her fears about raising Shawn on her own and whether she was giving him everything he needed. She could hear the bitterness in her own voice when she criticized Victor because neither she nor Shawn had heard from him since he boarded a plane and left them in Monterey, though she hadn’t expected anything different.

  Practices for baseball were still held, and Chase had to miss two games due to a scheduling conflict at the hospital. On the evenings Chase worked, Daniel was in charge. He loved the boys, and it showed in his coaching. His good-natured enthusiasm was contagious, and each boy strived to do their best. Katie even learned from Daniel that, when it came to baseball, a pickle wasn’t just something you bought at the snack bar.

  Saturday morning arrived quicker than Katie had anticipated, and she flitted around the house with anxious excitement while she got ready for the day. Shawn came bounding into the kitchen after feeding Buddy and his creatures. Since she’d gotten him the reptile tank, the number of his pets had doubled.

  “Mom, do you know what today is?”

  Yep, it’s the day I get to see Chase for more than an hour.

  “Today’s the Good Old Days,” he said with a huge smile before she could answer.

  Chase and Tony showed up a few minutes later to pick them up for the game. Katie was surprised to find that Liz wasn’t with them. When she questioned Chase about it, he told her Liz would be at the game with Gina.

  “So are you ready for some fun today?” he asked.

  Shawn and Tony climbed in the car, and Buddy squeezed into the backseat between the boys.

  “Heck yeah! Tony told me all about the motorcycle cop competition and the cotton candy and corn dogs.”

  Katie rolled her eyes at the reverent way in which Shawn’s voice lowered when he talked about the food.

  When they reached the ballpark, the boys pulled Buddy out of the car and took off toward the field. Katie climbed out and met Chase at the trunk to help him with the gear. He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck.

  “Finally alone,” he murmured, then placed a kiss under her ear.

  Katie looked around the packed parking lot and laughed. “We’re not alone.”

  “Doesn’t matter. None of them are our kids.” Chase continued to kiss her neck, his strong hands pulling her closer.

  Katie laughed and shoved at his chest. “I missed you, too, but I don’t think the team wants to see their coach macking on his girlfriend.”

  Chase let out a frustrated growl and let her push him away. He gave her a sideways smile, kissing her hard and fast before he pulled the gear out of the back of his car and took her hand.

  When they reached the dugout, he gave her a quick kiss and a wink before she turned toward the bleachers. She found Gina perched on the bottom row, her long legs stretched out as she held Buddy’s leash, with Liz scratching his ears. Katie plopped down beside her while Liz peeked around Gina. Katie wasn’t sure what to say to her. The last time she had seen her was when she stormed to her room after she found out Katie had stayed the night with her father.

  “Good morning, Liz.” Katie tried to make her voice sound warm and welcoming rather than reflecting the nervous anxiety she felt.

  Liz looked at her from behind Gina’s shoulder, and Katie saw a flicker of defiance before she returned her greeting. “Hello, Ms. Rodriguez.”

  Katie was a bit taken aback by the formal address. “Please, call me Katie.” She hoped to break down some of the barriers since their last encounter.

  When Liz turned to watch the drills on the field without acknowledging her invitation, Katie sighed and turned away, accepting her lack of acknowledgment for what it was—the cold shoulder.

  “Aunt Gina, can I go hang out with Shannon?” Liz asked, pointing to the adjoining field. Gina looked over at the other field and nodded her head. In a flash, Liz was gone.

  Gina didn’t comment on Liz’s behavior, so Katie dismissed the worries that clouded her mind, chiding herself for overreacting. Katie and Gina watched the game while it progressed at a snail’s pace. Shawn pitched a perfect inning before Chase pulled him out and had him catch for Tony. After Tony pitched three innings, he switched Shawn to first base so he didn’t have to catch while Cody pitched. Katie had to give Chase credit—he was skilled at arranging the boys’ positions so there was less contention and more team unity.

  Cody had a bad pitching run, and Katie found herself feeling sorry for him when he walked player after player around the bases. Chase gave Cody every chance to pull himself out of his pitching funk before he called a time out and walked out to talk with him. He got down on his level, and the boy nodded his head while Chase talked to him. They walked off the field together. The crowd gave him a round of applause for his effort, but when Katie looked over at Cody’s mother, she was busy talking on her cell phone, oblivious to the drama out on the field.

  Katie thought Chase would have Tony pitch but he waved Shawn over and her stomach turned. “Why isn’t he playing Tony?” she asked Gina, almost in a panic.

  “League rules say that a boy can only pitch six innings a week. Tony already pitched three on Tuesday.”

  Katie groaned. She was always a ball of nerves when Shawn was up to pitch. Gina giggled at her distress. “Don’t worry—he’ll do fine.”

  Shawn took the time allotted to him to warm up, and Katie could almost feel his nervousness from where she sat.

  What if things go bad like they did for Cody?

  The Giants were still up by one run, but it was cutting it close since Cody had walked so many runners during his pitching stint. Now it was Shawn’s responsibility to carry the rest of the game. Katie looked over at Chase, and his easy smile was gone. A look of pure determination was etched across his face, making Katie’s panic rise to new heights.

  She bit her lip, and every muscle in her body tensed when Shawn walked the first runner. Tony ran out from his catching position to talk to Shawn on the mound, and after a few seconds, he patted Shawn on the back and ran back to home plate, flipping his mask over his face. Shawn’s next pitch was hit by the batter, sending the ball flying over the heads of the infielders. The right fielder snagged it out of the air and threw it to first base, getting not only the batter out but also the runner on first. The spectators stood up and cheered the awesome play.

  Shawn looked like he was either going to faint or throw up from all the pressure. Katie stood in front of the backstop, pressing her fingers against the chain link fence while he kicked at the dirt and focused on Tony.

  “Come on, Shawn! You can do it!” Tony yelled.

  Katie was standing on pins and needles when he threw the next pitch. It was too far outside, and she glanced over at Chase, who shook his head but didn’t say anything. Shawn’s next pitch was identical to the first.

  “Make a decision, Shawn! Don’t throw it until you’ve pictured it.” Katie bristled at Chase’s tone and glanced at Shawn. He nodded his head in concentration, and she forgave Chase for his curt comment. Shawn seemed to internalize what he’d said, and he wound up and threw a perfect strike.

  “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Chase clapped as his smile widened. Katie’s little boy stood a little taller; his confidence increased when he threw another perfect strike. Daniel whooped in the background, and she vaguely heard the other parents encouraging him before she put all her focus back on her son.

  Come on, baby, one more.

  Shawn wound up and pitched, but this one d
idn’t end with a soft thud landing in Tony’s mitt. This one was followed by a loud crack as the batter connected with the ball. Katie gasped while she watched Shawn fall to the dirt on his back, a cloud of dust whipping up around him while a loud cheer erupted from the crowd.

  What the hell is their problem? My son could be hurt.

  Shawn lay on the ground motionless, and Katie started to panic while she ran for the gate that led to the field. When she rounded the corner, Shawn sat up with a huge grin on his face and raised his glove high above his head. She halted and watched Tony run full sprint, jumping on top of him, followed by the rest of the team.

  Chase jogged toward her. “Shawn caught the ball. It was a hard drive right at him, almost impossible to catch, but his reflexes are quick,” he said with a proud smile when he stopped before her.

  Katie stared, dumbfounded, at the mass of boys congratulating Shawn. Chase leaned in close to her ear, and she felt his warm breath along her neck. “Calm down, Mama Bear. Your cub’s fine.”

  Katie swatted at him while he ducked with a chuckle, then jogged over to congratulate the boys. She still wasn’t sure how Shawn had managed to come through the ordeal unscathed, but she shrugged it off and walked over to Gina, who gave her a knowing smirk.

  “I’m going to give you a piece of advice,” Gina said as they gathered up their things and Katie took Buddy’s leash from her. “Don’t run out onto the field if Shawn gets hurt. The embarrassment would be worse than the injury.”

  Katie smiled and nodded, thankful that this time he hadn’t been hurt. She was glad for the little piece of advice, even if she wasn’t sure she could abide by it.

  Chase walked over, his large duffle bag thrown over his shoulder. He took her hand, confirmed plans to meet up with Gina and Daniel, and then pulled her toward the parking lot. The boys’ excitement over going to the Good Old Days, which was evident in their unbounded enthusiasm, overrode their exhilaration over winning.

  “What about Liz?” Katie asked when they got to the car.

  “She’s going to meet us down there with Gina and Daniel.”