The Dominion Series Complete Collection

by Lund, S. E.

  “He has but I need to know this,” I say, adamant. “The soldier has to believe he’s fighting for a just cause.”

  Soren shakes his head. “Wrong. Usually, the soldier is in the army because he’s hungry, plain and simple. In the end, he fights to keep his fellow soldiers alive, and nothing more. The politicians and generals have just causes to believe in. The soldier only cares about staying alive and protecting his brothers in arms. You should care about that as well.”

  “I do,” I say. “I care about all my fellow mortals, or at least, I still care about mortals,” I say, correcting myself. I keep forgetting that I’m not mortal any longer. I still feel mortal. My immortality means nothing to me at this point. It’s not real to me yet.

  “It’ll become real to you the first time you watch a mortal be born, live out their life and die of old age,” Soren says, and then I realize that he can read my mind. I feel a sense of hopelessness descend over me like a cloak at the fact that nothing I think is private. As long as Soren can read my mind, there’s no way Julien and I can escape, no matter what we do.

  “That’s right,” Soren says, his voice soft. “There’s no way. Give it up, Eve. Cooperate. You’ll get your heart’s desires. Every one.”

  I frown and grind my teeth, hating that he has access to my every thought.

  “Is there no way I can block you?”

  He laughs at that. “As if I’d tell you if there were. Eve, sometimes you’re so naïve. It’s sweet, really. So stubborn. So naïve. So strategic. If only you were as easy to control as sweet Gabrielle…”

  “I’m not,” I say, thankful that I’m not like her. But I bet Marguerite wasn’t easy to control.

  “She wasn’t,” Soren says and I almost growl in anger that he’s reading my every thought. He leans closer to me. “She was very much like you, in many ways. Perhaps that’s why Michel is so smitten. He can barely resist you. He couldn’t resist her either.”

  “He killed Marguerite,” I say.

  “He did,” Soren says, the corners of his mouth turned down. “I’ll never forgive him for that. If I have to keep him alive for eternity so I can torment him, I will.”

  He turns to me and I see the determination in his eyes. He really means it.

  “Why was she so important?” I ask, surprised that he feels so much about Marguerite even now, eight hundred years later.

  “I loved her,” he says as if he’s insulted.

  “But she was a mortal,” I say, unable to understand. “Before you turned her. And you’re a –” I say and hesitate, not really knowing what he was. He’s more than a vampire. Something else entirely, but I can’t accept what Michel claims.

  Angel...

  “Immortal,” I add, unwilling to call him an angel.

  “Yes,” he says, almost rolling his eyes at me. “What’s that got to do with it? Do you really think I don’t feel the same emotions? Do you feel more intense emotions as a vampire?”

  “Well,” I say, considering. “Of course. Yes. Much more intensely.”

  “Exactly,” he says and leans back, like he’s satisfied. “I feel everything a mortal does, but much much more intensely. I love, Eve,” he says and turns to me, his gaze holding mine, his eyes intense. “I love deeply. More deeply than you ever could. When I found out she was dead…” He says nothing for a moment but his skin flushes pink and his eyebrows knit together. I can hear his breathing become more rapid. Then he seems to get ahold of himself and closes his eyes for a moment. “I hate more as well, and I need revenge even more intensely.”

  “Against Michel,” I say, nodding in understanding. “You’re doing everything to hurt him. Creating me. Putting us together. Making Julien want me as well.”

  Soren cracks a smile. “I dangled you in front of Michel like a ripe piece of fruit. He couldn’t resist. You can’t believe how pleased I was that he succumbed to your charms…” He smiles to himself for a moment. “And of course, what Michel has, Julien wants. Noble Julien, loving his brother’s lover. How tortured he is about it!”

  “Why do you get pleasure out of their pain?”

  He turns to me and frowns. “They killed Marguerite. Since they’re immortals, I want them to feel pain for eternity.”

  “Julien didn’t want to kill her,” I say, wanting to defend him at least. “When he saw she was going to die, he killed her quickly so she wouldn’t suffer.”

  “Julien should have saved her, but he was too much under Michel’s authority.”

  “Michel killed her because he could see no escape from her constant sexual demands. He was a priest, for goodness sake. She forced him to have sex.”

  “Hardly forced,” Soren says dismissively. “At least, not after the first while. He took part willingly.”

  “He tried to survive,” I say, defending him even now.

  “Julien should have saved her,” Soren says once more and his voice breaks. Even now, I see his eyes well up with emotion and it shocks me. He turns his head away, but I’ve already seen his tears. He really does still feel pain about her death.

  We sit in silence for a moment as he recovers his composure.

  “So, Eve,” he says finally, taking in a deep breath. “Collaborate with me. Help me resurrect the rest of the Twelve, and I promise no death. Just bloodletting.”

  “How can I trust you?” I say, for that really is the question. “What is your end game? Tell me that and maybe I can trust you.”

  Soren turns to me, his gaze fixed on me. “I’ll stop the plague, I’ll eradicate vampirism, and I’ll restore the Church as it should be. You’ll have both Michel and Julien and humanity back from the brink of slavery.”

  I frown. “I don’t want them both.”

  “Oh, stop it, Eve. You love them both. This tantrum about Michel is getting old. Give in. Be with him. You know you want to…”

  “He chose the Church over me.”

  “He’d be with you this moment if you offered yourself.”

  “No, he wouldn’t,” I say in disbelief.

  “Go to him and see. Kiss him and he’d be yours.”

  I shake my head and push that thought out of my head. “What did you mean, the Church as it should be?”

  He smiles. “With me at its head.”

  “You?” I’m not shocked of course, because I knew he wanted to be worshiped. “Do you want to be the Pope or the God?”

  “Michel will be my pope.”

  I make a face of disgust. “You’re not God.”

  “Not the god as in God Almighty. But a god nonetheless.” He stands and starts to walk around once more. “What is a god, after all, but a supremely powerful being, able to manipulate matter at will? Resurrect the dead, kill with a thought or bolt of lightning. I’ll do all those things to prove my powers.”

  “So more like a god in the Roman pantheon, or the Norse pantheon,” I say, holding back a snort of derision. Of course, I don’t believe in either God Almighty or the gods. Soren’s powers aren’t supernatural. They’re just based on some ability we don’t yet understand or have described scientifically. There has to be a scientific explanation for what he does.

  I refuse to believe otherwise. I refuse to believe. I need evidence and a theory to explain what I’ve seen with my own eyes.

  “You never believed in God?” Soren asks. “Not once? Most people find solace in their belief.”

  I shake my head. “No,” I say, a shiver down my spine remembering all the reasons I don’t believe. Can’t believe. “How could I when I was raped as a child, saw my mother murdered before my eyes? What kind of god lets a small child be abused? If a god is all-powerful and didn’t intervene, it’s heartless and doesn’t deserve to be worshiped. If God’s not all powerful, it’s not a god and doesn’t deserve to be worshiped. Either way, I can’t believe.”

  Soren stops in front of me where I’m standing by the couch. He tips my chin up and looks at me. “Poor Eve,” he says and shakes his head. “God doesn’t intervene to save little girls
from pedophiles because He gave you free will. He lets you choose. That’s the price for your freedom.”

  I frown. “Then why should I worship Him?”

  “Because He is the all-father. No other reason is necessary.” He strokes my cheek and I pull away. “So hurt when you were a child. If you want, I can take it all away. Every bad memory, every lingering bit of pain.”

  I step away from him. “It’s my history,” I say, shaking my head. “I want to know why I’m getting revenge.”

  “Revenge for what? Your mother’s death?” he says, his expression deadly serious. “Let me tell you something that’ll blow your little mind.” He leans closer to me, his hand cupping my cheek. “She wanted to become a vampire.”

  I shake my head and try to pull away, but he holds me tightly.

  “No,” I say, and wrestle free of him. “I saw Michel’s memories. You ordered her killed because she wouldn’t cooperate with you. You forced Michel to kill her. He turned her so she wouldn’t die.”

  “What did Michel show you?” he says and then clasps my shoulders in his hands, his face mere inches from mine. “It wasn’t the truth, whatever it was.” His eyes are intense.

  Then, I feel him in my mind, probing my memory. Unbidden, the scene Michel showed me of my mother’s death flickers in my mind’s eye like film projected on a movie screen. Michel and Soren entering the lab, finding my mother, arguing with her about the cure, and Soren leaving in anger. He orders Michel to kill my mother. Michel turns my mother instead of killing her in order to save her life.

  Soren stands back and shakes his head. “That’s not what happened. I gave her a choice. She had a choice. She wanted to find the cure. She didn’t want to die before being able to find it. She chose to become a vampire so she’d be immortal and then she could cure everyone once she’d unlocked the secrets to the virus. She was afraid she’d die before she could find it and wanted to be protected. Vampires are notoriously hard to kill…”

  I frown. “That’s not what Michel showed me. I saw—”

  “You saw what Michel wanted you to see. Your mother was cooperating. She wanted to become a vampire so she wouldn’t be vulnerable. She asked if I would approve Michel turning her. Let me show you…”

  I pull away, because if Michel can alter his memories to show me what he wants me to see, so can Soren.

  “No,” I say and hold my hand up. “I can’t trust either of you. I don’t want you showing me something you’ve reconstructed either. I want the truth.”

  I turn away, determined to leave him and not listen to another one of his lies.

  “Ask your mother. Not that she’ll tell you the truth either. And if you don’t cooperate with me, there’s more I can do to convince you.”

  “I will ask my mother,” I say, then slam the door behind me. I’m surprised that he let me go. Soren isn’t big on giving up control over any situation. But he let me go.

  On my way down the hallway, I see Michel coming towards me.

  “Eve, you look ill,” he says, stopping me, one hand on my shoulder.

  “Don’t touch me.” I pull away and keep going, my fists clenched, jaw grinding.

  “Eve…”

  I turn back and point my finger at him. “I don’t want any more of your lies.”

  Then I take the stairs to the upper level. I need Julien.

  The only one of them who hasn’t deliberately lied to me all long.

  Chapter 110

  Julien holds me in his arms and rocks me as I cry.

  “Shh,” he says and strokes my hair. “Tell me what happened.”

  I shake my head, unable to speak for a moment, my anger and sadness is so great, my throat choked with emotion. I let him hold me, let his strong arms enfold me.

  He leads me to the couch and we sit together, his arms still around me, my cheek resting on his shoulder.

  “I take it that Soren said some things that upset you.”

  I nod, and wipe my eyes, still not ready to talk. I try to sort through my emotions and thoughts, but it’s still too soon.

  Why did they lie to me? My own mother? I can understand Michel lying to me. He has an agenda and it matters more to him than his love for me or my love for him. But my mother?

  I would have thought she’d at least tell me the truth. I thought she never lied to me and yet here I am, learning that she lied as well.

  She wanted to become a vampire…

  She chose to be turned…

  Soren went there for an update and she asked him to let Michel turn her.

  I close my eyes and sit in Julien’s silent embrace. I remember something Michel said – that if Julien knew anything about my mother, he’d die. Now that Soren’s planted this seed of doubt – hell, it’s a full tree at this point, I don’t know what to believe anymore.

  I decide to take a risk and speak to Julien about my mother. I need someone to talk to about all this. I take in a deep breath and wipe my eyes.

  “Did you know that my mother asked to be turned and is alive?”

  Julien tenses, and pulls away. “What?”

  I nod. “Yes,” I say, still not sure I believe it. “Soren told me that she had been cooperating with him and wanted to be turned so she’d be immortal. Michel turned her at her own request.”

  “That doesn’t sound right,” Julien says, frowning. “Your mother is a vampire? She’s alive? She was cooperating with Soren?”

  “Well, technically, undead, but yes.”

  Julien shakes his head. “I have no personal knowledge of this, so if it’s true, it’s all news to me. And hard to believe.”

  I don’t understand why my mother kept this from me. Why did Michel?

  I don’t know what to think anymore.

  So I don’t think. I want to clear my mind of all the lies so I climb up onto Julien’s lap and kiss him, our mouths joining, tongues entwining. He groans when I rub myself against him and I feel his walls come down. His desire for me is immediate and strong. He wants me, and I need him.

  “It’s been a while,” he says. “Since we tasted each other. I want you.”

  He picks me up and carries me to the bed, laying me on my back. He leans over me, his hands on either side of my shoulders. He does nothing for a moment other than stare into my eyes. Then, he leans down and kisses me, our mouths joining. We connect and his need for me builds and feeds my own. When our bodies are naked and sliding together, I forget all about my mother, Michel and all their lies, for a time at least. All I think of is Julien, his body strong and firm, the sound of his breath, the sensation of our bodies joined together taking me into the sweet oblivion of release.

  * * *

  Afterward, we lie naked, me on top of Julien, my cheek resting on his chest. He strokes my hair.

  “They want to turn you against Soren for some reason. I mean, I hate his guts, but I want to know the truth.”

  “I know,” I say and raise my head so I can look in his eyes. “Why can’t they tell me the truth? Why is it so important I hate Soren and think he’s the one who killed her? Are they afraid I’d side with him against Blackstone?” I lay my head back down, closing my eyes. “I have to ask my mother about it. I have to ask Michel.”

  “I agree. You can’t accept Soren’s claims without proof.”

  I sigh heavily, confused and fed up with this nightmare I’ve been living for the past year. “How can I know who’s telling me the truth? Both Michel and my mother have lied to me or kept the truth from me before. How can I know when they’re lying and when they’re telling me the truth?”

  Julien runs his hands through his hair. “Maybe you have to trust your instincts, and forget trying to know what’s true. Listen to what each of them have to say and then make up your own mind who you believe.”

  I know he’s right. All of us have powers to manipulate each other. I have to just think it through and base my decision on the evidence.

  “I can’t cooperate with Soren without proof. How can he give me proof w
hen I know he can manipulate my mind and show me things that haven’t happened, like Michel did? I’ll go to Michel and confront him. My mother as well, if I can find her. They have reasons they don’t want me to cooperate with Soren or they wouldn’t have lied to me. I think I trust them more than him.”

  “Don’t get your hopes up that it’ll be easy to figure out. Like I say, trust your gut. That’s what you have to learn when you’re a cop. Which suspect is the most hinky? Which one seems the creepiest to you when you talk to them?”

  “You were a cop?”

  He shakes his head. “I was in the military police for a while. Worked with cops before. I’ve heard them talk about their gut feeling. They seem to trust it more than evidence sometimes.”

  “But that means that their personal biases can affect their judgment. They should rely on evidence not intuition.”

  “My little scientist,” Julien says and smiles. He kisses my forehead tenderly. “Are you going to cooperate with Soren?” he says, his voice soft.

  “I don’t know,” I say. “I haven’t decided.”

  “Because, if you don’t cooperate with him, he’ll punish you. He might kill you and wait for another you to be born and grow up.”

  “I know all that, Julien,” I say frowning.

  “There are a lot of bad things he could do to you.”

  I turn to him. “Do you think I should cooperate with him?”

  “Yes,” he says. “It’s the only way to stop the plague before it destroys the world completely. The only way to eradicate vampirism.”

  I stand up and leave Julien, thinking about what he said. I go to the bathroom to wash up. Then, I’m going to Michel and I’ll demand that he tell me the truth. I’ll see how I feel after he responds. Maybe I’ll have to trust my gut, like Julien suggested. Given how easily everyone is able to manipulate each other, that may be all we have to go on.

  But I hate it. I want certainty. I want science and evidence, but it’s all suspect now that people can manipulate my mind.