Uncensored Passion (Men of Passion)

by Bobbi Cole Meyer

  Stunned, Trey said, “But I thought she couldn’t have kids. I mean, she was with all of you, and she never got pregnant. Hey, wait a minute! Babies? More than one?”

  Harm nodded. “Twins. She was on birth control pills, but she confessed to me that she had forgotten to take them the day before she met up with you, and that was all it took. She didn’t think that was possible, but as it turned out, it was. It took that one interlude.

  “The more I’ve thought about it, the more I wonder if the two of you aren’t meant to be together, or it wouldn’t have happened. It was a colossal fluke. Something Kayla still has trouble believing happened, but she wants these babies, and she’s fighting to have them because they’re part of you. And she’ll bring them into the world, even if it kills her.”

  “Kills her? My God, could that happen?” Trey ran his hand through his hair.

  “Yes, it could.”

  Kayla dying? No. No. No!

  For a moment the room receded and a dark curtain seemed to waver in front of his eyes.

  “Did you hear what I said?” Harm’s voice was like gravel grinding broken glass.

  Still reeling from the news, Trey sank into his chair. “Tell me everything,” he choked out.

  “Like I said, she wouldn’t want me to be here, telling you all this, but I couldn’t keep watching her slowly kill herself,” Harm said bitterly. “I can’t snap her out of the depression she’s been in since you left, and neither can the doctors she’s seen. That’s added to the physical problems, and she won’t take any medication for it because it might harm the babies. So she suffers. She bursts into tears; she walks the floor at night, or she did until the doctor put her on bed rest.”

  The intercom buzzed. Trey quickly told Delia he wasn’t to be disturbed and returned his undivided attention to Harm.

  “Why didn’t she tell me?”

  “You’d made it clear how you felt—that you could never be a part of her life.”

  “If she had told me, I—”

  “You what? Would have come back? Joined us? Been a part of our life?”

  The stricken look on Trey’s face was his answer.

  “No, I didn’t think so. Well, J.J., Lee, and Luke are out of the picture now, so that leaves just me. And I will walk away if that’s what it takes to make you go to her.”

  “She’d probably hate me for that, if you left.”

  Harm snorted in disgust. Shaking his head, he gritted, “She could never hate you. You don’t get it, do you? I’ve never seen a woman so in love in my life as Kayla is with you. I wish to God I could make her feel that way about me, but I know I can’t and never will. If I could, I would stay and raise those babies like they were my own flesh and blood.

  “Maybe some people are bound together by that soul mate thing that I never really believed in before. But I do now. When you walked away, you ripped a part of her off and took it with you. She’ll never be the same until you’re back with her.”

  “She won’t want you to go, Harm.”

  “No. I know. But I’ll tell her that I’ve decided to make a change, that I want to go back to Los Angeles and get more involved with my tattoo salons, maybe even start up a new business with my old partner.”

  “Will she believe that?”

  “Probably not. But she’ll let me go because she doesn’t believe in holding anybody back from what will make them happy. And if you’re back in her life, she’ll grab onto that explanation like a lifeline. Your twins are due in about four weeks, by the way, or maybe sooner the way things look. The doctor might induce labor and take them earlier, if she doesn’t rally some. Anyway, four weeks, give or take, and you’ll be a father, if you’re interested.”

  “Dammit, of course I’m interested!”

  “I’m worried she might not make it through the birth. She’s thinking that, too. She made me promise if something happens to her, that I’ll contact you and let you know you’re a father. She said you’re an honorable man and would take care of your sons.”

  “Sons?” Trey asked incredulously.

  “Yeah.”

  Trey swallowed hard, fighting back a flood of emotion.

  “So, are you going to go to her? I’m returning this afternoon. I’ve already laid the groundwork for my departure, hinting that my old partner in business has been in touch a lot lately, asking me to return to L.A. If you come back, I will say that frees me up to follow my dream. And leaves you there with her.”

  Still reeling from the revelation that he was soon to be the father of twins, Trey said, “Of course I’m going to her. But I have a business here and obligations.”

  “You have two kids in Nashville, or soon will have, and I can’t think of a bigger obligation than that!” Harm spat out.

  “You said Kayla’s given up her practice. Do you think she’d move here?”

  “I think she’d relocate to the moon if you asked her,” Harm said ruefully.

  Trey met and held Harm’s bloodshot eyes as Harm ran a shaking hand through his hair, admitting, “I’m not going to lie to you. This is tearing my guts out, asking you to go to her, and knowing that I will be leaving her. But I know if you don’t go to her now, she’s going to die. And if she dies, I promise you, Cameron, I will kill you. If it’s the last thing I ever do, believe me, I will kill you.”

  Trey nodded as their eyes met and held.

  “I believe you. I can tell you love her that much. I can appreciate what it means because Kayla is the kind of rare woman who gets under a man’s skin and can’t be gotten out. I wish I felt differently; I wish I could say stay and let’s share her, but I can’t. I just can’t live that way.”

  “I know. Just promise me you’ll take care of her.”

  “I will.”

  “When are you going back?”

  “I’ll make arrangements right away. Probably leave tomorrow.”

  “Good. I’ll get back tonight and start laying the groundwork for leaving. You can use Lee’s apartment at the house.”

  “Where does she think you are now? You say she’s on bed rest so someone has to be with her, right?”

  “I’ve got a home care staff, including a registered nurse, with her. Told her I had some business I needed to tend to and might be gone the better part of the day. As soon as I know things are all right between you two, when I’m certain Kayla has accepted you back in her life, I’ll check out.”

  “So you’re really going back to L.A.?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I’ve still got a lot of friends there, and the main office of our business is there. But hell, maybe not. I don’t know. What I do know is if you hurt her again, or leave her and those babies, I’ll be back. And when we meet the next time, one of us won’t walk away,” he warned.

  Trey rounded the desk and held out his hand.

  “Fair enough. Thanks for coming here. Again, I know how hard this must be for you, Harm.”

  “No, I don’t think you do.”

  Trey shrugged. “Maybe not, but I can guess. If she’ll have me, I won’t ever let Kayla go again. You have my word on that.”

  Harm hesitated, obviously reluctant to take the offered hand, but shrugging, he did, and with a curt nod, turned and walked out.

  Trey sat with closed yes, thinking, Kayla is going to have my child. No, not child but children! Two boys!

  He buzzed Sarah.

  “Sarah, have Delia book a reservation for me on an early flight to Nashville for tomorrow. And be sure that all my personal appointments for today and for the rest of this month are cancelled. You handle that interview with the applicant yourself and either hire him or not, depending on your instincts about him. I trust your judgment. Hell, cancel everything I’m supposed to be personally involved in until further notice. Redirect everyone who asks for me to Jerry to assign the cases if any more come in. Where is Jerry right now?”

  “He’s following up on a case. He’s out of town but should be back tomorrow.”

  “Good. Call him. Tell him that
something urgent came up, personal business, and I don’t know when I’ll be back but I’ll be in touch. In the meantime both of you are to hold down the fort.”

  “Is something wrong, Trey?”

  “No, Sarah, something is finally right. Or God willing, it soon will be.”

  CHAPTER 28

  The right words

  Trey pulled his rental car onto the winding driveway. The indecisive thoughts tumbling through his mind seemed in rhythm with the rolling crunch of the tires on the paver bricks. Those tumbled thoughts had been going full tilt all the way from San Antonio.

  As he braked in front of Kayla’s house, his heart was beating erratically, his mouth felt powder dry, his palms were sweaty, and his stomach was tied in knots. Having been a man of action and always in control—at least mentally—of any situation, Trey was angry with himself.

  Why can’t I get a grip on my emotions now?

  He had never been more nervous or unsure of himself in his life. He felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff and the rocks were crumbling beneath his feet; that if he so much as wavered, he would fall and never stop.

  He sat thinking about Kayla having two babies—his babies. That revelation vibrated to his core. He had argued with himself during the sleepless night prior to boarding the plane that he wasn’t ready for two babies, but yet he was because he had to be. Surrounded now by silence except for his badgering thoughts, Trey tried to sort out his feelings. They were a tangle of dread, excitement, and wonder.

  Dear God, I am going to be a father of twins.

  It was hard to comprehend.

  For the umpteenth time, he mentally rehearsed what he wanted to say—not only the words, but all possible scenarios of Kayla resisting and sending him on his way. He would begin with his plea for forgiveness, followed by his apology for being an ass, followed by his desire to be with her, regardless of how that would be accomplished.

  I have to make her believe I’ve finally come to accept how she wants to live or she’ll send me away. I know that. I have to leave it up to Harm to pull his exit act and play along with whatever he says.

  Somehow, I’ll make her understand that my love has never faltered or diminished. Then I’ll promise to cherish not only her but our babies, forever. Hell, I’ll grovel if I have to.

  Trey took a deep breath and exited the vehicle. He stood outside her house, suddenly afraid to go inside—afraid that all those flowery and hopefully enlightening things he wanted to say to convince Kayla of his love and devotion would escape him when they actually came face-to-face.

  Taking another steadying breath, fighting down another flash of panic, he rang the bell. The door was jerked open even before the musical chiming faded, leaving Trey to believe Harm had been watching for him from one of the bay windows on the second floor landing. He answered Harm’s curt nod of hello with one of his own. As Harm stepped aside so he could enter, their gazes locked and Trey read the man’s utter contempt.

  “How is she?”

  “Weaker. Do you have any luggage, or weren’t you planning on staying that long?” Harm asked sarcastically.

  Although he mentally bristled at the implication, Trey kept his voice level as he explained, “I have luggage in the trunk of the car. I’ll get it later.”

  Harm nodded. “Okay. Wait here. Give me a few minutes to talk with her so your showing up won’t be such a shock. I’ll tell her you called yesterday and I told you she wasn’t feeling well. I’ll add that I didn’t tell her about the call before now because, even though you said you were coming, I didn’t believe you. But I won’t tell her that you know about the babies. You can take it from there.”

  Trey waited impatiently in the foyer while Harm went upstairs and disappeared into her apartment.

  When he reappeared at the top of the stairs and motioned for him to come up, Trey felt a tightening in his gut and offered up a silent prayer.

  Oh, God, don’t let me say the wrong thing. Give me the right words. Help me persuade her that I have never stopped loving her and I want her and these babies more than anything.

  Harm led him to her bedroom, giving him one last hard, warning look before walking away.

  Trey stood uncertain and shaking before her door for a second, composing himself. Then he knocked lightly and entered.

  He thought he was prepared to see her not looking herself, but when he stepped inside and saw a pale, nearly emaciated replica of the vibrant woman he had known, he was shocked, but he hoped he hid it well.

  What hit him the hardest were her eyes—those magnificent green eyes that he remembered had been so vibrant and had held such fire. Now they were dull and lifeless and sunken in her head. As they focused on him, as tears slid down her face, Trey hurried to her side.

  She gripped the sheet, pulling it up around her but unable to hide the fact that she was heavy into pregnancy, the large, rounded protrusion in sharp contrast to her otherwise thin body.

  He sat down on the bed and took her hand, raised it to his lips, and kissed it tenderly. Just the feel of her skin against his lips sent a jolt up his arm.

  “Kayla, darling, it’s good to see you again. I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted to come here, to hold you. I’ve thought about you, about us and what we had together, every day since I left. My damnable pride kept me away until now, until I called and Harm told me you were ill. I couldn’t stay away any longer.”

  Glancing at her stomach, he feigned a wide-eyed surprise.

  “I see you’re pregnant.”

  Trey hoped he was conveying a surprise he didn’t feel, but as she studied him with a keenness he so well remembered, he knew she saw beyond his facade.

  “What really made you come, Trey? I know you still think my lifestyle is something you abhor and can’t accept. So why now?”

  “I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Every time we talked, it tore me up. It took me this long to work up my courage, because I thought, after our last heated conversation, you wouldn’t want to talk to me.”

  She looked at him for a long, searching minute. “Harm called you, didn’t he? He asked you to come, didn’t he? You wouldn’t have otherwise,” she said bitterly. “Did he tell you about the babies?”

  “Harm told me you’ve been ill, so I had to come. It hit me hard. No matter our differences, I couldn’t stand to think of you seriously ill. I had to see you, Kayla. And I didn’t know about Lee and Luke until Harm told me. Why did you never mention that? And why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

  “I thought you wouldn’t care.”

  That stung him and he asked, “Kayla, do you think I’m that heartless?”

  He searched her face when she didn’t answer. He saw that old bristling bravado again as she struggled to sit up in bed. When he tried to help her, she shook off his assistance.

  “I don’t need you here because you feel sorry for me, Trey. Or because you found out about the babies, and don’t think you’re fooling me for a minute. You knew before you came that I was pregnant. That’s really why you came.”

  Kayla tamped down on the pain she felt at the thought as she said, “Like I told you before, Trey, I managed my life before you, and I can manage without you now just fine.”

  “Kayla, don’t let that damnable stubbornness of yours get between us now. Please. These babies are mine too, aren’t they?”

  She released a sigh and nodded. “Yes, they’re yours.”

  “Well, I want to be a part of their lives, just like I want to be a part of yours.”

  “Thought you said my lifestyle made you sick to your stomach. I took that to mean that I make you sick.” She pulled her hand from his grasp.

  “Don’t throw my words back at me, Kayla. Okay, we both know that I don’t like sharing you, but you know I didn’t mean you made me sick.”

  “When we talked after the plane crash and you didn’t seem to care if Luke or Lee would even live, I knew you had decided to cut all ties,” she said, her voice hard, uncompromising
.

  Trey took her hand again. “Kayla, I remember the crash, but I didn’t know they were on that plane. I didn’t follow the news stories about the passengers, so if they were named, I didn’t hear. I’m sorry about that.”

  She caught a ragged breath. “They were so wonderful. Our lives were wonderful before then. It’s hard to believe they’re no longer here with me, that we’re no longer the family we were. Nothing has been right since J.J. Everything just fell apart.”

  “God, Kayla, it kills me to see you this way. You’re way too thin. Is everything all right with you? I mean, are the babies all right?”

  “Yes, but I’ve been banished to the bed for the duration. I eat, but it’s an effort because nothing appeals to me. And it’s hard to keep food down. You know, Trey, I’ve gone over it all a million times in my mind, while I’ve been stuck here with nothing to do but think.”

  “Gone over what?”

  “You and me. How fate threw us together. It’s as if I was destined to bear your children.” She smiled ruefully. “And you know what? When I found out I was pregnant, there was a part of me that rejoiced.”

  Trey felt a pang in the region of his heart. “The news takes my breath away, too,” he murmured.

  Green eyes, bright and piercing gazed at him. “And you know what thought kept surfacing? Despite the sorrow about my partners, I kept thinking this was meant to be. This just feels so right.”

  Trey’s throat tightened. “What felt right, darling?”

  For a moment it didn’t seem as if she would answer him. Then with a sigh she turned to him and gripped his hand tighter. “Do you love me, Trey? Do you really love me?”

  “How can you doubt it, Kayla?”

  As he waited for her answer, Trey wondered, what is this about? Surely she knows I love her.

  “I guess what I need to know, Trey, is what sacrifice you would make for me. For us.”

  Trey’s heart sank. He knew what she was getting at. If he loved her, really loved her, as Harm did, he would be willing to compromise. He would be willing to live her lifestyle, share her with other men.