Lily had told Flynn that she wanted to go slow and then she changed her mind. But somehow, Flynn hadn’t quite got that message. They were going out, hanging out and making out, but every time they got to a certain point, Flynn would pull back.
The other night they had been having a movie marathon at his place. Between the terrifying horror and the action adventure, Lily had kissed him. One kiss led to another, and another, and about at the point that she was ready to forget about the next movie, Flynn jumped up and asked if she wanted a coffee. Bit of a mood changer.
Thinking back over the past couple of weeks, Lily realised that Flynn had reacted similarly on a few occasions, though never blatantly. Well, it was time that she took things in hand and found out what exactly was going on. She knew that he wanted her just as much as she wanted him – his breath was just as ragged as hers whenever he pulled away.
Flynn Hartley had an effect on her that she couldn’t remember ever feeling before, and that was the truth. His touch made her tingle and his kisses made her burn. Just laying eyes on him was all she needed for her heart to skip a beat and her stomach to do that weird contracting thing. So it was time to ‘woman’ up and take matters into her own hands. Perhaps she’d been guilty of giving Flynn mixed signals but that wouldn’t happen again. She needed him to know just how much she wanted him.
Chapter 15
With new resolve, Lily rang Flynn the next morning and asked if he was free for the evening. Violet and Holly were spending the next couple of days at Mac’s place, redecorating one of the rooms for Holly. So with the place to herself, she thought she may as well take the opportunity to have a little alone time with Flynn.
They went out to dinner, Flynn organising a dimly lit table in the back corner of the Millstone. He made her laugh with his ridiculous stories as they lingered over their meal. It was comfortable, that’s the only way Lily could describe it. He made her feel both at ease and important at the same time.
She did her best to ignore the curious stares they were getting from the other diners. No doubt there would be some juicy stories circulating around the town in the morning. But to her surprise, Lily didn’t care. To hell with what people said – who she chose to see was no one’s business but hers.
The lightheartedness of the evening shifted towards the end of the meal when Flynn’s hand brushed against hers across the table. Lily looked up and saw the same need that had been building in her all day reflected in his eyes. She knew then for certain that she wanted Flynn in her bed – to deny that fact would be lying to herself.
He had looked away and said something silly to make her laugh but Lily wasn’t fooled. Flynn might be trying to suppress it but she knew it was burning in both of them.
Flynn drove her home, walking her to the front door and hesitating for a second before he dropped a chaste kiss on her forehead. Lily almost laughed out loud. God, she was doing to her damnedest to get him into bed and he was doing his best to avoid it.
‘Listen, thanks for tonight but I’d better get going,’ Flynn said.
Like she was going to let that happen. Instead she pushed open the door. ‘Why don’t you come in for a second?’
‘I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.’
‘Sure it is,’ Lily said as she stared back at him as if in a challenge.
‘Well, maybe just for a minute or two,’ he answered as he walked through the door with Lily close behind him.
There was a tension in the room as Flynn sat on the couch, watching every move she made. She was conscious of his gaze as she walked out of the lounge room and headed for the kitchen. Lily expected Flynn to stay put but he followed her down the hallway.
She took out a couple of glasses and put them on the counter before pulling a jug of iced tea from the fridge. Lily handed Flynn the glass and he almost finished it in one gulp.
‘Well, I suppose I should get going. I don’t want to disturb Violet or Holly,’ he said as put the glass back on the counter. He flashed a smile. ‘Thanks again for a great night.’
‘They’re over at Mac’s,’ Lily said, catching one of his hands. ‘So you see, you don’t have to go yet, do you?’
‘I’ve got an early start …’
‘You always have an early start – you’re a farmer.’
He was silent for a second as his hand tightened around hers. Did he actually look nervous?
‘Um, I’m trying to do this different,’ he said as he let go of her hand. ‘I’m trying to do this right.’
‘Don’t overthink it. Can’t we just enjoy the rest of the evening and see where it takes us?’
He bit his lip for a second. ‘I just don’t want to fuck this up, Lily. I need you to know that I care about you and I don’t—’
‘Stay,’ she interrupted as she closed the distance between them. She was standing near enough to feel the heat from his body without touching.
‘Lily,’ he said with an exasperated sigh. ‘I’m trying to prove to you that you mean something. I want you more than I can say, but I don’t want you thinking that’s all I’m after. I need you to understand that it’s deeper than that.’
Lily wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. ‘Flynn, you don’t have to prove anything to me. Stay – that is, if you want to.’
‘Want to? Jeez, Lily! Of course I want to – it’s so hard to walk away from you,’ he said incredulously before his mouth came down and claimed hers. His hands spiked through her hair and then gently held her head in place as he ravished her mouth.
It was a scorching kiss, and the longing she’d suppressed all night broke free. She kissed him back, mirroring his longing and urgency. Flynn’s fingers moved over her back before he clasped her bottom in his hands and pulled her up against him. She felt the firm planes of his body and his hard erection pressed against her. It felt good to be held this way but it wasn’t enough. Lily unbuttoned his shirt and ran her hands over his warm skin. With each touch, each kiss, the fire built inside her and she needed to feel him against her, flesh to flesh.
Flynn pulled back for a moment, his eyes dark and intense.
‘Lily, are you sure?’ His voice was deep and husky and it rolled over her like warm honey.
She took one of his hands and brought it to her lips. ‘Yes, believe me – I’m more than sure,’ she said, leading him back down the hallway and towards her bedroom. ‘I want this – I want you – more than I can say.’
She didn’t get far because Flynn lifted her from behind and carried her all the way to the bed, kissing the side of her neck as they went. He put her down and in one fluid movement pulled off her top. His hands skimmed over her skin, leaving a tingling trail in their wake. Lily spun around in his arms and pushed his shirt off before she started working on unbuckling his belt.
‘I want you, Flynn – so much,’ she said.
‘Not as much as I want you,’ he murmured, tugging her skirt over her hips and letting it fall like a slinky pool around her feet.
He took a step back and stared at her. The heat rose in her cheeks and it was all she could do not to cross her arms or dive under the covers. Instead she stood there in her pale green silk underwear and met his gaze.
Flynn gave her a sexy smile as he pulled her back into his arms. Lily rested her head on his shoulder as her hands splayed across his broad, smooth back. The spicy scent of his aftershave rose subtly from his warm body, tantalising her senses.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he whispered as his deft fingers unhooked her bra and tossed it onto the ever-growing pile of clothes on the floor. She closed her eyes and revelled in the feeling of Flynn’s hands slowly sweeping along her shoulder, back and over the flare of her hips.
‘You really are, Lily. You’re all creamy and soft and silky, and all I want to do is touch you … taste you.’
He dropped a series of kisses along her neck, over her collarbone and down, until his tongue circled one of her now taut nipples.
‘Flynn,’ Lily said as the
delicious sensation of his mouth made her draw in her breath. Her head fell back as a shot of heat fired through her body. Her breath quickened and his touch made her quiver. His lips in painstaking slowness made their way back to her mouth. She needed to touch him, to immerse herself in him. Her hand snaked down his chest and abs until it rested on the large mound in his jeans. His cock hardened even more and strained against the denim as her fingers closed around it. There was a growl coming from the back of his throat and he held onto her tight.
‘Baby, you’re killing me.’
Lily unbuttoned his jeans and pushed the material from his hips. His rock-hard cock sprung from its confines and she encircled it with her fingers, moving, rubbing, teasing. He sucked in his breath with a whoosh.
‘Make love to me, Flynn. I need to feel you inside me.’
‘Whatever you want, baby,’ he breathed against her. ‘Whatever you want.’
Flynn lowered her onto the bed and slipped her silk panties off. He took a foil packet from his pocket before dragging his jeans and jocks the rest of the way off, his eyes devouring her hungrily all the while. The mattress dipped with his weight as he joined Lily on the bed. He pulled her close and for a moment he held her tight, as if he was frightened that she’d get away.
Her fingers speared through his dark hair as she tilted her face up and kissed him. The sense of urgency notched up as her tongue rubbed against his.
His touch meandered over her body, lower and lower until he cupped her. His fingers dipped, taunted and tormented her until she arched against his hand and thought she’d go mad with frustration.
‘Flynn, now – love me now,’ she said breathlessly as her hands fisted in the sheets.
‘You make me burn, Lily, honest to God, you do.’ He nudged her legs open and settled between her thighs. ‘I’ve been wanting to be with you like this ever since you came back home.’
Lily smiled as she reached up and touched the side of his face. For a moment she thought that she saw something in his eyes – a different sort of yearning, perhaps – but almost as quickly as it appeared it was gone.
He entered her inch by inch until he filled her entirely. Lily wrapped her legs around his slim hips and for an instant allowed herself to bask in the glorious sensation. She opened her eyes in time to see him give her one of his best crooked smiles and her heart seemed to melt a little bit more. Slowly he began to move and Lily felt herself being taken away. The heat and the need spread through her body like a flash fire. With each luscious stroke, Lily was taken closer to the edge.
‘Flynn …’
‘Lily, you’re perfect – this is perfect,’ he said as he increased the pace and sent them spiralling into the abyss.
Lily clung onto Flynn as the orgasm rippled through her. It was as if he was the only thing keeping her tethered to the ground.
***
Flynn’s eyes fluttered open and for a minute he forgot where he was – all he knew for certain was that this definitely wasn’t his bed. As he lay there, memories of the night before crashed through his mind.
Lily.
A smile tugged at his lips as she moved beside him. She was warm and soft and her hair was fanned across his arm and the pillow. Flynn stared at her for a moment, taking in her beauty. His heart swelled as he swore he’d never seen anyone as lovely as Lily Beckett.
He was a lucky man and that was the truth.
Through the lace curtain the sky was beginning to lighten. A cool breeze blew in from outside and set the tinkling wind-chime in motion. Another day in Violet Falls was about to start but all Flynn wanted to do was stay here, cocooned in Lily’s bed. He ran his hand over her shoulder and down her arm. She was perfect; everything was perfect.
Flynn relaxed back on the pillow and looked up at the ceiling. He was happy, really truly happy, something he could never actually remember being before. For the first time he thought about a life he could have, the life he pretended he didn’t want but deep down yearned for: love, happiness and a family to call his own. He knew thinking like this was moving fast and the last thing he wanted to do was spook her, but maybe one day they could have a life together. It wasn’t like he wanted to haul her off to the nearest church or anything – all he wanted was the promise of a possible future.
But she won’t love you, not really. One day she’ll leave and you’ll be left all alone, just as you should be. You don’t deserve to be loved.
Flynn shut his eyes as his grandmother’s mocking words ran through his mind. This was different – Lily was different – and he wouldn’t let the past ruin his future.
A bolt of clammy fear shot through his body. No, his grandmother was just a spiteful old bitch. He couldn’t let her win. She was dead and gone and he deserved happiness just like everyone else, didn’t he? Just don’t take things too fast.
Flynn shook his head as he gently extracted his arm from Lily and sat up. He was thinking crazy thoughts – this is exactly what he wanted, so why was there a sinking feeling in his stomach? He was preparing to run again, the old fear of abandonment and rejection filtering through him. He’d been at this point before but had never reached it so quickly. There was a sense of rising panic that he did his best to push back down but he was fighting a losing battle.
Lily stirred beside him.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to wake you,’ Flynn said as he glanced over to her.
‘What time is it?’
‘About five thirty, I guess.’
‘Oh, that’s just wrong. Let’s go back to sleep.’
‘Sorry, I’ve got to go,’ Flynn said as he threw back the covers and swung out of bed. He turned around and caught a glimpse of Lily’s luscious curved body before he pulled the covers over her. All he wanted to do was dive back into bed with Lily but the cold hard stone in the pit of his stomach made him step away. It was almost as if he was watching himself from outside his body, like a fricking robot, every step taking him away from her. He knew he was doing it but he couldn’t stop.
Lily was beautiful and amazing and she made him burn inside. But she was too much, it was all too much, and in that instant he knew he had to get away and put some distance between them.
‘Stay with me.’ Her voice was full of sleepy seduction and he faltered for a second. ‘Come back to bed, Flynn. Stay.’
He took a step back and started to reach for her but just in the nick of time managed to pull himself together. He had to leave, to protect himself … to try to find his centre. He picked up his discarded jeans and pulled them on. The air and the dark of the bedroom started to close in on him.
‘I can’t. Last night was amazing but I have to go,’ he said as he grabbed his shirt from the floor and shrugged it on. ‘I’ll call you later.’
Lily sat up and pulled the covers over her delicious breasts. She frowned as her eyes met his. ‘For God’s sake, Flynn – what are you doing?’
‘Nothing. I don’t know what you mean.’
Lily waved her hand in the air. ‘Really? Because what I’m seeing is a guy desperate to leave. You promised me that this was different. You said you wanted me.’
Flynn took another step towards the open door. ‘Baby, you’re talking shit. Of course I want you. Just chill, everything’s fine – I said that I’d call you later. I just need …’
‘Yeah, what do you need?’
‘There’s nothing wrong, I just got to go.’
‘Then why has the temperature in here dropped to fifty below? I thought this thing between us was nothing but fun, but you’re acting as if I’ve just asked you to marry me.’
‘Lily …’
Lily held up her hand. ‘God, if you’re that scared, just leave.’
‘I’m not scared, it’s just—’
‘You don’t have to explain. Just leave. I always knew this would happen.’
Flynn froze in the doorway. His heart hammered and for a couple of seconds he forgot how to breathe. What the hell was he doing? H
e wanted Lily more than anything, so why was he purposely fucking it up?
You’re just your mother’s dirty mistake. No one will ever want you.
His stomach clenched as his grandmother’s words filled his head. She was wrong – he knew she was wrong! He needed to walk back to Lily, to hold her and tell her that this time he wouldn’t go anywhere, but he just couldn’t.
‘I promise I’ll call you later,’ he croaked out before he walked out of the room without a backward glance.
‘Whatever.’
He could hear the disappointment in her voice but was unable to give her what she needed – reassurance.
Flynn headed down the hallway, his workboots echoing on the polished boards. If he had any sense he would swing around and beg her forgiveness. But the terror of having his heart ripped out kept him heading for the door.
He was already halfway in love with her – if he stayed any longer he’d be a goner, and then how would he ever survive when she left? And she would leave him, it was inevitable. Flynn yanked open the front door before he stepped over the threshold and closed it firmly behind him.
He stood on the front verandah with his hand still on the doorknob. He’d hurt her, he’d seen it in her eyes. He sucked in a breath and tried to find the courage to walk back inside and make everything right. He turned the knob but just didn’t have the strength to push the door open.
‘Jesus,’ he muttered as he spun on well-worn heels and headed down the stairs towards his ute. ‘Why am I such a fuck-up?’
Chapter 16
Lily sank back against the pillows and stared at the empty doorway.
What the hell just happened?
Flynn had gone from ardent lover to running away as fast as he could. Last night everything had been perfect, but this morning the whole bloody thing exploded in her face.
She’d been dismissed by Flynn Hartley and now had a pretty good idea what each and every one of his women had felt when they found themselves in this position – it sucked.
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