by J. L. Drake
Mark smiled, then he started to laugh too. “Guess it’s kind of a comfort thing.”
“I think it’s cute.” I grinned as I returned the gum to his pants pocket. “Will you tell me something else?”
He inched down so he was lying flat on the bed and turned toward me. I did the same and we watched the glow of the city below from the massive windows behind us. I loved this apartment.
“Something personal that’s about who you are. Something real.”
His lips pressed into a straight line as he thought before answering. “I’ve been alone for so long that I will actually mess up the opposite side of the bed. So when I wake the next morning, disappointment isn’t the first thought that pops in my head.” He grinned at me.
It took me a moment to process what he said. “That’s…” I scrambled for the right words.
“Sad, I know,” he shrugged, “but true.” He leaned forward and gave me a gentle kiss before he lay back down. “I’ve shared a lot, so now it’s your turn.”
His face popped up in front of me, but I couldn’t. Not yet. That would change everything.
“Umm,” my mind raced to think, “I promised myself I would wait three years before I’d date again after what went down with my ex.”
“How long has it been?”
“Thirteen months.”
He squinted at me. “Are you sure you’re ready for another relationship?”
“At first, I wasn’t sure—”
“And now?” he interrupted.
I stared at him for a moment. “What if I wasn’t?”
He hooked his arm around my waist, pulled me to him, and hovered above me.
“I guess I’d have to find new and inventive ways to convince you.” His lips caught mine and he took over. I forgot my own name when we were like this.
When we came up for air, I wiggled free and headed to the bathroom.
I was brushing my teeth when he came up behind me. He leaned against the doorframe and watched.
When I leaned down to rinse my mouth, I felt him remove the brush from my hand. I came back up, and he was using my toothbrush. I smirked at how comfortable he already was with me.
Bed felt good, but knowing he was going to be next to me was even better. The floor was cold, so I hurried under the covers and shivered until my body heat warmed up my spot.
I was almost asleep when he joined me. His hand ran along my hip, over my stomach, and curled around my waist. With a small jerk, he pulled my back to his chest.
“I missed you,” he whispered into my hair. Something in his voice bothered me again.
I turned to see his face. “Why do I feel like you’re going to tell me you’re leaving soon?”
When he didn’t answer, I turned back around and let the unspeakable battle fight itself out in my head.
I couldn’t help but feel like I was his release when he needed to get rid of some stress or demons.
One a.m.
Two a.m.
Three a.m.
The numbers ticked by, but I was too nervous to close my eyes in case he left. Around three thirty, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slid out of bed, wrapped my silk robe around myself, and headed to the living room.
Carefully, I climbed up on the window seat. It was my favorite spot. I could lie back and pretend everything was fine, and there was nothing but me and the stars to hear my thoughts.
Raindrops swirled around in different patterns, and a hint of frost was in the air, which left a white dusting along the edge of each window pane.
I pulled my blanket up to my chin and settled in further. My mother’s voice found me.
“If your body naturally smiles when you see the person you’re with, that’s a good sign.”
What happened if you lived two different lives? How did that work?
I kicked the blanket off. It was no use; sleep wasn’t going to come. I changed before scribbling a note.
Went into work. See you when I do.
~Mia
I stared at it and wondered if it was too much of a jab. I didn’t mean it to be. Tossing it in the trash, I tried again.
Went to work. Talk to you later.
~Mia
With a glance over my shoulder to make sure he was still asleep, I headed for the hospital.
CHAPTER SIX
“What are you doing here?” Molly asked as she ran past the ER waiting room where I had settled with a good book.
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“You are the only one I know who comes to an emergency room to calm down.” She laughed before she went on her way.
Around ten, I went to visit Kenny, who was a lot worse today. He could barely lift his head, and his eyes seemed distant.
“Hey, honey.” I squeezed his right arm to let him know it was me. “What are you watching today?”
He didn’t answer, so I went over and opened the blinds.
“It’s raining, our favorite kind of weather.”
Again nothing.
“Are you cold?” I sighed. When I started to move, I hit his left arm, and his hand shot forward and wrapped around my neck.
“Don’t touch me!” he screamed, crushing me harder. “No more meds!” His eyes were cold, and I could tell he was lost in his other world.
I tried to suck in some air, but nothing could get through. The more I fought, the tighter his grip grew.
My hand raced around and finally found the emergency button on my pager. I pushed it hard.
“Ahh,” Kenny screamed again, “leave me be!”
The door burst open, and Vikki bolted toward us.
“Security!” she yelled down the hall. “I need help now!”
Spots clouded my vision as his never-ending hold gradually took my life away.
“Kenny! Let go!” Vikki pretty much had to break his arm to get him to release me.
I fell backward off the bed and hit the floor. Wheezing, I gasped and coughed as the air flooded back into my lungs.
Dr. Evans came in and raced to my side. “Mia, what happened?”
Vikki had Kenny in a hold until another nurse sedated him.
“He had her around the neck,” Vikki called out.
After he helped me to my feet and out of the room, Dr. Evans sat me on a chair and squatted down in front of me.
“I’m fine,” I wheezed, but the tears threatened to come. He reached for my hand, but I stood on shaky legs. “I just need a moment.”
“Mia.”
“Please.”
Each step felt like lead, and my stomach turned as I reached for the door handle of an empty room. I curled up in a ball on the end of the bed. Every breath was painful, my heart raced, and my feelings were so out of whack I didn’t know where to start processing it all. One, two, three, four…I tried to calm myself, but it was no use. The reality of Kenny’s condition could no longer be denied, and my heart broke for him.
I went with what my body wanted, which was to break down. The sobs hit hard; they were mostly silent but shook my core as they surfaced.
My head was buried against my knees as I tried to block the world out. I gave in and let all the pain rush in.
“Where is she?” I barely heard the shouting through my own personal struggle.
The door opened and a set of warm hands fell on top of mine.
“Shit,” Mark cursed as he lifted me and held me in his arms. He wrapped around my body, holding me tight. “It’s okay, Mia, I’m here.”
I sobbed harder, sobbed for the fact that Kenny was almost gone, sobbed because I wanted my mother to be here with me to support him, and sobbed because Mark walked in and out of my life when I only wanted him to stay with me.
After a while, I felt so tired and sore. Mark never moved or complained—he was simply there.
“Can I see your neck?”
I unfolded from the safety net he had me in and saw his worried face.
He brushed my hair away. His thumbs dried my cheeks then gently tipped my head back.<
br />
“Ouch, Mia. Kenny is still pretty strong.”
I closed my eyes and let more tears slip out. I heard him move.
“Let’s get you looked at.” He helped me to my feet and onto the bed. I felt like a rock, drained of everything. I just wanted to sleep.
Mark moved to the door and flagged someone down. Vikki came in first.
“Oh, girl,” she covered her mouth at my appearance, “you are damn lucky you pushed the emergency button. Does it hurt?”
I nodded, but I didn’t speak. I really didn’t know what to say.
Mark stood by my side and rubbed my back gently. Vikki glanced at him.
“I don’t know how long he had her like that.” Her voice cracked like she really cared what had happened to me. “God, Mark, I couldn’t get him to let go. I actually had to fracture his arm.”
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered, “I’m glad you were there.”
She put her hand on mine. “Mia, you should take a few days off.”
“I agree,” Dr. Evans said from the doorway. “Your shift doesn’t even start yet. What were you doing at the hospital?”
I shrugged. The pain that pulsed through my neck left me with no desire to speak.
“Well, let’s check you out.”
Mark stayed by my side the entire time. He never said much, just flinched when I did.
Thankfully, there wasn’t too much damage beyond some intense bruising. I was told to take a week off. I wasn’t happy about it, but I didn’t make the decisions. The chief did.
They also made a new rule that I wasn’t allowed to be alone with Kenny anymore. That was the worst part. I knew Kenny didn’t have much time left.
After I was given some pain meds, they tried to send me home.
I stopped Evans before he left. “I want to see Kenny first.”
“No.”
I glanced at Mark, who struggled to keep his feelings back. I jumped off the table and walked with unsteady knees. “He didn’t mean it. You know he slips between two worlds.”
“Go home, Mia.” Dr. Evans sighed when he saw I wasn’t about to back down. “You can see him tomorrow, but not today.”
“Fine,” I whispered just as Mark took my hand. Evans looked over my shoulder, his mouth tight with annoyance.
“Let’s go home.” Mark urged me forward and out into the hallway.
He opened an umbrella and helped me over the puddles until we got to his car.
“You warm enough?” He turned the hot air in my direction and pressed the button for the heated seat.
“Yeah,” I croaked. I was exhausted.
Once home, I stripped out of my wet scrubs and into some yoga pants and a tank. I liked to be comfy when I was home.
Mark fiddled around in the kitchen while I made a cozy nest on the overstuffed sectional couch.
I went straight to my DVR and brought up True Detective. I was obsessed with that show. The darker, the better.
Mark set a tray in front of me with chicken soup and warm bread. “You need to eat something with those pain meds in your stomach.”
“Thanks.” I was pleasantly surprised he did that for me. He returned a moment later with his own tray and settled in next to me. I stared at him, confused.
He sipped his water. “What?”
“You’re staying?”
“Yeah.” He dipped his bread into his soup.
“But I thought last night you said you had to leave.”
“I did. I have a trip.”
There was that sinking feeling again. “So then when do you leave?”
Mark set his bowl down and brushed the crumbs from his fingers. He leaned back and laid his arm along the back of the couch. “I opted not to go.”
I shook my head, not following.
“First time ever.” He grinned.
“Why?” It sounded stupid, but I needed him to say it.
He turned a bit more to face me, his fingers brushing my hair out of my face. “A while back, Savannah had a real hard time with Cole leaving when she found out she was pregnant.” I nodded. “He knew it and stayed. Cole never missed an assignment. I’ve seen him take out men with his bare hands while sick with pneumonia. We are trained to fight through everything,” he paused, “everything but this.”
“But what?”
He smiled, one that made my stomach leap into my throat. “You.” When I didn’t say anything, he went on. “I knew Cole was in love. We all saw it. I couldn’t believe he skipped the trip, skipped the chance to take out some bad guys. However, when I woke this morning and saw you had left, I decided to go to the hospital to say goodbye. When the nurse told me what had happened, nothing mattered after that except you. I texted Cole, and you want to know what his response was?”
“What?” barely slipped past my lips.
“He said, ‘All right.’” He snickered. “Guess it was more obvious than I thought.”
“What was?”
“Mia…” His finger ran along my jaw and across my bottom lip. “I’ve had girlfriends before, but not like you. I normally like my space, my alone time, see my girlfriend on the weekends or one night a week or whenever. But with you, you’re all I think about. My last trip was,” he cleared his throat, “hard. The only thing I wanted was to hold you and sleep next to you. I’ve fallen fast, Mia, and frankly, it scares the shit out of me. I think I might even have lost my sense of humor!”
I smiled at his attempt at humor in such a serious moment. Moving my blanket aside, I shifted to straddle his lap. I put my hands on either side of his face and gazed into his chocolate brown eyes.
“I left so you didn’t have to be first,” I admitted in a whisper. “I know this is how it is going to be with us, but I hated the feeling last time it happened so badly that…”
His eyes closed while his chest rose and fell.
“It’s okay, Mark, because now that I know I’m not alone in how I feel…” His eyes opened. “It won’t hurt as much.”
“Are you saying you like-like me?” He grinned playfully.
“Yes,” I leaned forward, “I like-like you.” I kissed his lips softly while his hands ran along my thighs. “How long do I get to keep you?”
“A week.” He kissed me again before guiding me to the couch. “You need to rest.” He caught me eyeing his excitement and shook his finger at me. “Rest.”
With a much lighter chest than before, I rested my head on his lap and fell asleep with his fingers stroking my hair.
***
The next two days, I mostly slept off the pain and enjoyed his company. Mark hung out, cooked, cleaned, and helped out with Butters. I had to admit sleep and general lazing about felt wonderful. It had been a long time since I had allowed myself to simply rest.
A loud crack of thunder woke me. I jolted forward just as a lightning flash filled the entire apartment.
“Mark?” I called out when I realized I was in bed alone. “Ouch.” My throat was still really sore.
The windows vibrated each time the thunder erupted. The storm was right above us, and it was intense. Click, click. The button on my lamp wouldn’t turn on. Damn, the power was out too.
Slipping my robe on, I stepped out into the living room, but it was empty. The wind scraped a branch along the glass, making the night feel eerie. A moment later, I was startled by the door as it opened and in walked Mark and Butters, soaking wet.
“Hey.” He let Butters off the lead before he came over. “How long have you been up?”
“Just a few minutes.”
“Sorry, Butters needed to do some business, and boy, that fellow knows his stuff!” He hung his jacket over the back of the chair. “Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”
Once we settled in, he turned to face me with a pillow hugged to his chest. The candlelight flickered over his face.
“Tell me something else about you,” I mumbled and moved my cold toes to his warm calf. “Where did you grow up?”
He tucked my hair behind my ear. �
��I grew up in California. My father was a screen writer, and he wrote for Love Boat.”
“Really?” How interesting.
“No, not really,” he said, laughing.
“Mark!” I shoved his shoulder.
“Fine. My family traveled a lot because of my mother’s job.”
I nodded, wanting him to go on.
“She was a lesbian stripper.”
I flopped on my back as he laughed harder. “Forget it.”
“No, no, no.” He rolled me onto my side. He took a long breath while his eyes closed. “I’m not good with emotion when it comes to myself.”
“Could have fooled me.” I gave him an annoyed look.
“Oh, I see someone else enjoys a little sarcasm.”
“When it’s needed,” I shot back.
“Okay,” he shook his head, “my father left when I was born. I was raised by my mother until I was seven, and then Cole’s nanny took me in.”
“For real?”
He grinned at my words. “Yes, for real.”
“Go on, then.”
“I didn’t have a very easy start to my life, Mia. It wasn’t pretty. My mother drank and smoked a lot of pot. She would go days without feeding me. There was this old lady who lived in the trailer next to us, and she was pretty nice. Anyway, her husband worked for Hubba Bubba. She used to give me a pack a week for a treat.”
“Oh, that explains it.”
He gave me shrug, but I could tell it meant something. “I learned I could trick my hungry stomach into thinking it was full with that gum.” How sad. “Mom soon figured out people liked me, so she’d send me out to ask for food. That’s how I met the Logans and Abigail.”
“Abigail worked for them, then?”
“Yes, she became Cole’s nanny six months before I came to their door. She took pity on me and started feeding me a few times a week. She even gave me some of Cole’s clothes to wear.”
“How was Cole about all this?”
“Cole? He was…well, Cole. He became my best friend after he saw me get jumped one day after school. Turns out we were both pretty good at fighting. Soon after, I started heading there after school during the week. My mother barely noticed. As long as I brought food home a few days here and there, she’d leave me be.”