Chasing Me
Page 4
Her hips stop moving, those eyes meeting mine head on. “That’s what this is all about, isn’t it Hunter?” She bites out angrily. “You’re jealous of Mitch. Now you gotta prove to yourself that I love fucking you? Or is it just the fact that I’m here and available since it’s probably been a few hours since the last bitch screamed your name?”
I pull my hand away, her accusation cutting me like a knife. “I get that I hurt you, but you don’t have to go for blood Chase, fuck.” Running a hand through my hair, I blow out a breath. “Let’s go somewhere and talk, just talk.”
Punch Throwers and Post Climbers
Chase
I never thought I could love and hate someone so much at the same time. While we were singing, I wanted nothing more than to pretend he was singing to me. Now all I want to do is kick his cock up into his throat. Poor jealous Hunter can’t take the possibility that I may have someone else waiting in the wings, is that it? Wouldn’t he just shit if he knew the truth? The truth is Mitch and I let everyone think what they want about us. It’s just easier than to explain and Mitch just isn’t ready to give answers to anyone. After losing the love of his life he isn’t ready to tangle his heart up with anyone else, and I don’t blame him. Being with me allowed him to go out and have fun, but without being approached by a woman. I was his security blanket. Becky was his everything. You don’t come back from a loss like that without it changing you forever.
“Please, Chase, all I wanna do is talk.” He pleads again, pulling me from my thoughts. “There’s so much I want to say, to explain.”
I can’t help but laugh a little. “Is that why your hand was just in my panties, to explain?” Hunter helps me stand to my unsteady feet. I miss the feel of him immediately. Hunter is the only person that can make me want to throw a punch one minute and climb him like a damn post the next.
He shrugs, grinning at me wickedly. “I can’t think straight when you get all mouthy.” Pulling me back against him, Hunter’s eyes soften. “You do things to me that no one else ever has, babe. Make me want more. Make me need, you.” Closing his eyes, as if he were in pain, Hunter continues. “I’ve never counted on any woman, not even Daisy and Cam. Sure, they’re great, but they aren’t here for me.”
My heart races in my chest. Hunter and I haven’t had very many meaningful discussions in person since we met. Smart ass digs and shouting each other’s names don’t really count. The only times we really talked were over a few phone calls. That was when I got to see glimpses of the Hunter no one else gets. The man he is when no one is watching and expecting the crazy antics of the flashy front-man.
Reaching up, my fingers slide along the coarse stubble on his jaw. Instantly, his eyes close as he nuzzles into my palm. “What are we doing here Hunter?” I whisper, breathlessly when he presses his lips to my skin. “I’m so dizzy from being pulled to you and then pushed away over and over again. I just don’t know what you want. Hell, I don’t even know what I want anymore.”
“I don’t know either, Tiger Lily.” He replies, opening his eyes to look at me. “All I do know is I’ve realized I don’t wanna let go of you, not yet.”
The door flies open making me jump, my head knocking into the wall. Turning, we come face to face with a very annoyed Henry, and my brother burning up the distance behind him fast. Henry’s eyes go wide as he takes in the room; chair knocked over, books and other shit scattered all over the floor. “Good to know you thought this through, bro.” He mutters in irritation.
Luke looks murderous. “I told you to stay away from my sister you son of a bitch.” He roars furiously. Henry turns, his huge frame taking up the entire doorway, holding his hands up to keep Luke from getting by. “Big Man, this has nothing to do with you. Move.” Luke growls, not taking his eyes from us.
Hunter turns, protectively shielding me behind him. “There’s no problem here. We’re just talking, man. This has nothing to do with you.”
“Come on, Chase, we’re leaving.” Luke says commandingly, making my blood boil.
Pushing out from behind Hunter, I walk across the room. Henry looks to Luke in warning. “I’ll let you by out of respect for Chase. Don’t touch my boy, you feel me?”
Luke nods. The minute Henry moves, Luke dives forward, grabbing my shoulders to check me over. “Luke, stop it! I’m fine.” I huff, pushing at his chest. “You’re making a scene and it’s just going to upset Cam and Aiden.” I scold, hoping that his love for Cam will make him see reason long enough not to ruin her night.
Luke steps further into the room, sagging onto the sofa. Henry closes the door, and begins righting the room while Hunter just leans against the wall, watching me. Taking the seat next to my brother, I attempt to diffuse the bomb that is Luke Hanlon. My brother is a big teddy bear, until you cross him or hurt someone he loves. Right now, he sees Hunter as a dual offender and I need to fix that before everyone else hears. I hate that no matter what I do, my brother sees me as someone he has to protect. Luke still sees me as the little seven year old girl with skinned up knees. “I’m not a little girl you have to protect anymore, you know. I can take care of myself.” I admonish, arching my eyebrow. “One day, you’ll have to accept that and worry about yourself for once.”
Blowing out a breath, he leans forward, and kisses my cheek. “You know that’s not going to happen. I’ll always worry about you, baby girl.”
I roll my eyes at the endearment, but can’t help grinning. Luke’s eyes drift over to Hunter, hardening immediately. “Luke,” I warn. “Go out to the bar and get a drink, hot head. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Luke doesn’t move, just continues to watch Hunter. “What the hell are you smirkin’ about fucker?” Luke growls. Standing, he doesn’t move toward Hunter, but his hands clench into fists. Henry turns, ready to fight and I know that the three of them brawling in the office and ending up in jail is not the way I want this night to go.
“Luke, Henry, would you give us a minute?” I ask calmly, standing and steering my brother toward the door. “I need to grab my bag and then we’ll meet you at the bar, okay?”
Saying the tension is thick is the understatement of the century. The male testosterone radiating off the three men surrounding me is damn near suffocating. Luke looks at me like I have grown another head, “What the hell? Give you a minute alone with him? Sis, are you fucking crazy?” He shouts, digging his feet in. “You expect me to come in here, see you with him like this, then just walk out and have a drink like nothing happened?”
“That’s exactly what I expect you to do, Luke.” I bite out in frustration. “Please, everything’s fine.”
Luke glares at Hunter, taking my hand in his. “I’m not doing this for you, asshole.” He grounds out. “I’ll be waiting for you to fuck up and then it’s time to mop the floor with your ass, Rock God.”
Hunter smirks. “You think I’m like my brother and gonna throw a couple punches.” He asks arrogantly. “Roll around on the floor tryin’ to prove who is manlier by seein’ who can bring first blood? Then, you and I can just apologize, instantly becoming besties? Fuck that and fuck you. I have no desire to hold hands with you and sing country love songs in the moonlight.”
“Hunter shut the hell up, man. I’m not gonna stop him if you keep runnin’ that trap of yours.” Henry warns, coming around the desk between him and Luke.
“Whatever, Big Man. Let the bastard bring his big ass over here and tear into me.” Hunter tosses out, shrugging his shoulders. “Not the first time I’ll take a hit or two by someone bigger than me, and probably won’t be the last.”
“I’ll be waiting outside the door.” Luke says, squeezing my hand one last time before releasing it.
“I’ll be in the hall. I suggest you get a grip before you come out if you wanna keep your balls.” Henry says, following Luke out, closing the door behind them.
“Are you crazy or just glutton for punishment?” I ask angrily, yanking my purse up from the floor.
Hunter pushes off the wall
, stepping toward me. “Tiger Lily, not everyone plays nice to avoid a fight.” He shrugs. “I don’t give a shit what he thinks of me and I have no filter stopping me from tellin’ him that.”
“That’s my point Hunter.” I reply. “Do you think I give two shits about most peoples’ opinions of me? No.” Flinging my hand out, I gesture toward the closed door hoping to make him see the bigger picture. “Those people out there love you. You should care what they think.” Taking a step closer to him, I soften my voice. “You should care if your actions hurt the ones you love.” No one may tell me what to do, but I wouldn’t deliberately hurt anyone I love.
Hunter continues to step toward me, taking in my words as he does. “And what do you think?” He asks once he finally reaches me. Circling my waist with his vividly inked arms, Hunter steers us back until my ass hits the desk. My fingers skim the word ‘Passion’ running along the inside of his forearm. “I hurt you more than I’ve ever hurt anyone. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t mean shit. Believe me, I know. Whether you believe me or not, I do care what you think of me, Tiger Lily.”
My heart is thumping in my chest frantically. I try to drag air in my lungs while tracing the letters inked on his arm, but it feels like nothing in my body is working, except my brain. My mind is on overdrive and I fear any minute smoke is going to pour from my ears at Hunter’s admission. Here is the moment, where, in a fairy tale, everything would change. I would jump into his arms, kiss him like there is no tomorrow, and we would profess our undying love. This is not a fairy tale.
Sure, I could roll with it and go back to the way things were before. Where would that get me? I would be a few more months down the road, only to be hurt again when I see Hunter splattered all over the grocery rack magazines with every piece of groupie pussy he can get hard for. Hunter Chesterfield isn’t made for just one woman. That isn’t what he wants. He has made that clear on more than one occasion and I am not about to believe I am the one to change that.
His eyes watch my fingers skim along his tattoo, inching higher and higher. I can’t see the dragon at the top of the sleeve, only the tail curling around his bicep is visible as it pokes out of his sleeve. Of all his many tattoos, it is by far my favorite. I can’t help wondering what part Hunter would play; the knight, or the dragon. He displays so many parts of each character depending on his mood. But who would end up winning the battle between the light and dark? Most importantly, where would it leave me in the aftermath?
“Chase,” Hunter whispers softly, tipping my chin up with his free hand. My eyes meet his, knocking the breath out of me. That deep brown that stole my heart, making me want so much more than I can ask him for. Yet the very ones that turned away from me; dismissing me as soon as I attached strings to our relationship. The first time I said those three fucking words to anyone other than people who couldn’t just walk away once I had. The only time I associated love with sex, because with anyone else it was about finding an orgasm, not a soul mate.
Taking a shaky breath, I do the only thing I know to do. “I think we need a drink.”
My comment takes him by surprise, giving me the opportunity to slip from his arms. Scooping up my bag, I turn and run from the room. I can’t give myself a chance to miss the feel of his touch, or take the chance that he will say anything else. I’m terrified of what would happen if I stayed in that room a minute longer. If he asks me something as crazy as to try, I would, without hesitation. And that is what I fear most; giving him my heart, only to have him crushing me because he doesn’t protect it.
Ducking Frunk
Hunter
The last thing I anticipated was for Chase to bolt from the room. I wasn’t expecting a declaration of love or anything, but I did plan for her to slap me with a dose of her smart mouth. I was counting on it. Nothing makes me harder than that bitchy sass that only Chase gives me. Those confident comebacks that only make me want to maul her mouth with mine, or shove my already aching dick into it. Instead, she made an excuse and ran from me like I had tried to light her tits on fire. Which I would never do, they are my friends.
After shaking off the sting of rejection, I decide to treat today like a cheap prom date and fuck it. The possibilities of missing out on the booze or the possible bacon in the bar are too tempting for me to ignore. I made my apology and if she wants to run, well she can, for now. Flinging the door open, I am met by Henry. “That seems to have gone over well.” He deadpans, giving me an ‘I told you so’ look.
“Could’ve gone better, but could’ve been worse.” I shrug. “She gave me time to apologize, but not enough to fully explain.” Walking up the hall, I see the bartender setting up shots for everyone.
“Was that before or after you fucked her against the wall?” Henry chides, disapproval dripping from his voice.
Turning my gaze to Big Man, I glare at him. It hurts that he thinks so little of me. I mean yeah, I’m the worst caliber of a man-whore, but I never treated Chase like that, did I? You weren’t going to fuck her against the wall… it was the desk you planned on, right man? “It wasn’t like that.” Thoughts of me treating her like just another damn groupie is almost enough to make me sick. Something I have never felt before washes over me: shame. I don’t like it. At all.
“Wasn’t it?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Henry was never my father. He finished raising us, but was always my brother, my best friend, and above everything else the one who knew me better than anyone. Now it hurts that he so easily just assumes the worst of me, even if it is partially true.
“Well, Big Man, I guess since it’s the worst possible thing to assume of me it has to be the truth. Being the selfish, sick bastard that I am would obviously mean I have a hidden motive. I’d apologize, not out of guilt, because I have no conscience. My main goal isn’t forgiveness, it’s just to get into her pants one last time.” I bite out. “Don’t think too much of Cunter, he’ll surely let you down. I mean he isn’t possible of changing for the better. No way he would be caught doing anything noble or worth being proud of.” I add, watching Chase take a shot with Cam, Aiden, and Luke. She smiles at Cam, giggling and happy as if nothing happened only moments before.
“Damn it, that’s not what I mean.” Henry says apologetically. “Listen, it’s just,”
I wave him off, “No, I know what you meant brother. Thanks for reminding me of my place.” Turning, I make my way to the bar. Grabbing a stool on the end away from everyone, I motion for the dude to pour me a shot. “Keep ‘em comin’ man,” I murmur, lifting the glass high. I tip it to Chase in a silent toast, just between us. Her eyes meet mine, widening as they fill with concern, but I shake her off.
Swallowing it in one gulp, I feel the welcome heat of the alcohol as it goes down already beginning to numb my pain. Silently, I think how wrong Chase is. If all these people care about me so goddamn much, why don’t they expect more from me than the asshole that I have been for so long. The role I fell into, that I continue to play, even though it’s not as rewarding as it was months ago. The bastard front man that fucks anything that walks. Who isn’t supposed to care who he hurts as long as he gets his good time. Why change the appearance of a place no one would dare to occupy. My heart isn’t a place anyone wants to visit, let alone take up residence. Most importantly, no one would ever willingly let me in theirs. Even when I try to protect the people I care about, it backfires in my face, only hurting myself.
Having no one but my brother and best friends was always enough for me, until now; because, I had always thought they knew there was more to me than just the guy who makes nasty jokes and isn’t afraid to upset the ladies church group in a diner. For the first time since we started Shaft, I feel completely empty. Everyone around me is happy. Their lives are coming together, while I stand still, never moving, unchanging. My family is celebrating, while I attempt to empty the bottle of whiskey in front of me in record time.
***
Two hours later, the bottle is empty and the bartender decides to cut m
e off. Henry’s huge mit of a hand covers my shoulder before I can argue for another bottle. “Come on brother, I’ll get you back to the hotel so you can sleep this shit off.” Sliding off my stool, I wobble unsteadily. “Let’s go, I don’t want you embarrassing yourself man.” He says, grabbing my arm.
Yanking away from him, I crash against the bar knocking glasses to the ground. “Fuck you, brother. Don’t you really mean before I embarrass you?” Looking around the room, I glare at everyone now staring at Henry and me. “That’s what you all think isn’t it?” Pushing off the bar, I stagger across the room toward the hallway. “Just placate the poor bastard because if we don’t, he will just make life harder for us. Well fuck you all, I’m tired of being forced to suffer through your good time.” Reaching the hallway, I turn and look into the shocked faces of my family taking in my drunken outburst and even though I see the train wreck my actions are causing, I can’t stop it. My eyes meet Chase’s, her hazel eyes filled with worry for me. Great! Just what I need, fucking pity. “You’re right, Tiger Lily, all the people out here love and think so much of me.” I say sarcastically, mocking her words from earlier.
Aiden’s face presses into a hard line, while shock pours from all three girls. Mack looks to Henry as if there is some hand signal to tackle the drunk idiot as if I were a damn suicide bomber. Only person going down with this ship is me dude, calm your tits. I can feel Henry’s stare burning a hole into me.
“Hunter,” Daisy pleads. “Don’t do this, not here.”
“Leave him be Wildflower, he’s only hurting himself.” Gray tosses out, only adding fuel to my fire.
“Just leave me the fuck alone until you need Cunter to prance his sexy ass on stage and woo the bitches.” I ground out. “That’s all I’m good for right?” Shoving down the hall, I have nowhere to go except the office where Chase and I were just a couple hours before.