The Pleasure Series: Complete Box Set

by M. S. Parker

  “It was a Christmas present,” I said tightly. Rylan was talking to his mom and I hoped he wasn't paying attention to anything else. I had a feeling Suzette wasn't going to let it go with that explanation.

  I was right.

  “Did you even have anything on your Christmas list that didn't cost thousands of dollars?” Her voice was low and I could tell she didn't want Rylan to hear her. “What else did he buy you?”

  “I didn't ask for anything,” I answered honestly even though I knew she wouldn’t believe me. “And I told him it was too much.”

  “But you still kept it.”

  My temper started to bubble up, testing my restraint. She loved her brother and wanted to protect him. That's what this was about, nothing more. I almost convinced myself.

  “Yes, I kept it.” I made myself meet her eyes. I didn't have anything to be ashamed of. I hadn't asked for an expensive gift and I didn't love it because it cost a lot of money. I would've loved it just as much if it had been costume jewelry. “Because it's not about me. It's about him.”

  Suzette's mouth flattened into a thin line.

  “He gave them to me as a gift. He wanted me to have them because he thought they'd make me happy, because he wanted me to wear them.” I tactfully left off the part about him wanting me to wear only them. Suzette didn't need to hear that even though I had to admit that it would've been nice to see if I could get a rise out of her.

  “Awfully convenient, isn't it?” she asked. “That he'd choose something so expensive for someone he's only been dating a couple months.”

  “Convenient?” I raised an eyebrow.

  She shrugged. “What's next, a car because you don't happen to have one? A bigger apartment when your lease is up? Or are you just going to invite yourself to move in with him?”

  I stiffened. Not much, but enough that she caught it.

  “You've got to be kidding me.” Her voice rose. “You're moving in with him?”

  All eyes turned towards me and none of the looks were friendly.

  “Well.” Rylan cleared his throat. “I guess that cat's out of the bag.”

  Chapter 30

  I'd read in books where passages of heated conversations were described as explosions. I never truly understood what that meant until now. The moment Rylan confirmed that I was indeed moving in with him, it was like a bomb went off.

  Everyone started talking at once.

  Suzette wanted to know how he could trust me when he barely knew me. After all, he'd been with Lara for years and had never known she was a lesbian. Theresa seemed to be more concerned that the money he usually gave her would go to me. Lindsay echoed whatever her husband said, and Adam was emphatic that I planned on tricking Rylan into getting me pregnant so he'd marry me and I'd either have access to his accounts or I'd divorce him and take half.

  “Enough!” Rylan slammed his hand down on the table. His face was flushed, eyes flashing. “I love Jenna. She's moving in with me tomorrow and she's a part of my life. You're either going to learn how to deal with that or you're going to be seeing a lot less of me.” He reached over and took my hand, wrapping his fingers around my cold ones. “We come together or not at all.”

  “Rylan.” Theresa's voice was soft. “Just think about it, dear. You have a lot to lose if she's just after your money.”

  “Don't you mean you have a lot to lose?” Lindsay snipped.

  For the first time in my life, I was almost grateful that I didn't have family. I knew Rylan loved his parents and his sister, and for us to be together, I needed to accept his family, but I definitely saw some benefits to not having all of this chaos and tension.

  While Adam tried to referee between his ex-wife and the current Mrs. Archer, Suzette leaned towards Rylan, completely ignoring the fact that I was there. “Dad had a good point, Ry. You're a good man and we both know if she got pregnant, you'd never leave her.”

  Rylan's fingers tightened around mine and I felt the anger coming off of him in waves. Without him saying it, I knew that a lot of that anger was on my behalf.

  “Listen to your sister if you won't listen to us,” Adam joined in. Lindsay and Theresa didn't look happy, but now their glowers were focused in my direction. “One little hole in a condom or her 'forgetting' to take her birth control.”

  “I'm sitting right here!” I snapped, unable to control myself any longer. I stood up and yanked my hand out of Rylan's. “If you have a problem with me, say it to me, not him.”

  “Very well.” Theresa poked at her hair with one long acrylic nail. “We don't know anything about you. How do we know you aren't going to try to steal Rylan's money or force him to marry you?”

  “I don't want his money,” I said. “And I didn't ask to move in with him. He asked me.” I lifted my chin. “And as for me tricking him into getting me pregnant...”

  “Jenna,” Rylan said softly.

  I didn't look at him. “Not that it's any of your business, but that won’t be a problem because I can't have kids. I can get a doctor's note if that'll make you feel better.”

  I was slightly gratified to see everyone looking shocked and embarrassed, but I needed to get away before I said something I'd regret.

  “Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to use the ladies' room. I'll be back in a few minutes.” I turned and walked away, not looking back even when Rylan called after me.

  I was torn between seething and wanting to cry. And the last part made me even angrier. I didn't cry. Not for people like that. It was just that I didn't like telling anyone personal shit, especially the ‘not having kids’ part. And to have to do it that way, to defend why I loved him...

  I pushed open the door with a little more force than necessary, wincing as it banged against the wall. Fortunately, there wasn't anyone in the bathroom to hear it. I paced the short length of the room, trying to regain my composure. I couldn't go back out there like this. I was too worked up and they knew it. Granted, they'd started it, but if I wanted them to accept me, I would have to rise above their behavior, prove that I wasn't some low-class gold-digger.

  I took a slow breath, then let it out. While they could've expressed themselves better, I had to admit that Rylan's family had legitimate concerns. I knew my intentions towards Rylan were honorable, that I wasn't after his money, but his family didn't know me. Hell, he barely knew me. I hadn't lied to him, but he honestly had no way of knowing that, not really.

  I stopped in front of the sink, wetting a paper towel and dabbing my face with it. I couldn't think like that. He knew me. We might not have known each other long, but we knew each other better than some people who'd been together for years. We hadn't only been through a lot, we'd talked, shared. He knew about my past, what I'd been through, and he didn't care.

  I looked at my reflection. My skin was paler than usual, except for two spots of color on my cheeks. I closed my eyes and tried counting to ten. When that didn't work, I went to twenty. I was still counting when the door opened.

  “Jenna.”

  Dammit. It was Suzette. She was pretty much the last person I wanted to talk to. Still, I managed to put a cordial expression on my face before I turned around.

  “What is it, Suzette?” The question came out harsher than I'd intended.

  “You're not good for him,” she said bluntly. She crossed her arms and looked down at me. She may have been a year younger than me, but if I'd been anyone else, the fierce look on her face would've scared the shit out of me.

  I didn't respond. There was no point in arguing. The best thing to do would be to let her get everything out of her system, then figure out where to go from there.

  “He blew off Zeke on Christmas Eve,” she continued. “Left early Christmas Day because he wanted to spend the rest of the day with you.”

  I crossed my arms and mimicked her stance. “I didn't ask him to do that.”

  “I don't care.”

  I waited. There had to be more she wanted say than just a simple “he's spending too much time
with you” argument. She wouldn't have followed me into the bathroom for that.

  “Do you know why he bought that house?”

  The change of subject surprised me. “He said he bought it after he and Lara broke up.”

  “I'm surprised he told you about her,” she said.

  I shrugged. “We met at her Christmas party.”

  “It doesn't matter.” Suzette made a dismissive gesture with her hand, the resemblance to her brother stronger than before. “He found the house before he and Lara broke up. He only bought it afterwards as a way to tell himself that he hadn't lost hope for the one thing he wanted the most.”

  “And what's that?” I tried to keep my voice even.

  “Family, Jenna.”

  I flinched. I couldn't help it. I knew what she was saying, but didn't want to believe it.

  “You know how most guys freak out at the idea of getting married and having kids? How, if their girlfriend told them she was pregnant, they'd run away? Not Rylan. That's how we knew that if you got pregnant, he'd marry you. All he's ever wanted is to get married and have kids.”

  My heart thudded painfully in my chest. Rylan hadn't told me that.

  “Now, I suppose you could be lying, but I don't think you are. And, let me guess, when you told him you couldn't have kids, he acted like it was all okay.”

  My answer must've shown on my face.

  “Of course that's what he'd do, because he's Rylan. He spent two years with Lara, not seeing what was right in front of him. He thinks he loves you so he's going to tell you what you want to hear.”

  I began to shiver and pulled my arms more tightly around me. That couldn't be true. Rylan wouldn't have done that to me. He said he'd tell me the truth. Unless, of course, he thought it was the truth. I knew how well people could lie to themselves.

  “If you care about him, like you claim you do, you'll leave before you hurt him even more.” Her eyes narrowed. “Of course, if all you want is his money, I guess you'll just stick with him until you get what you want.”

  I could barely breathe. My chest tightened and I felt the beginnings of a panic attack. I needed her to leave. Now.

  “You can't give him what he wants. What he needs. But he's not going to tell you that.” She turned to walk out and then paused at the door. “Just something to think about.”

  I watched the door close behind her, and then leaned against the sink. My hands shook and I couldn't get them to stop. How could Rylan not have told me how important kids were to him? I'd been honest with him as quickly as I'd been able. All he would've had to do was walk away. I wouldn't have stopped him. It would've hurt like hell, I wouldn't deny that, but it would've been much easier than this, than finding out now.

  I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't do this now, couldn't deal with this. I would have to think about it soon, I knew, before things went any further, but not now. I had to go back out there. I wasn't going to leave him to face his family without me, especially since I was the one he was defending.

  “Pull yourself together,” I muttered. I'd been through worse than this. Acted a part harder than the one I needed to play now. After spending years pretending to enjoy the things those people did to me, this should be a piece of cake.

  I took a few steadying breaths. Somehow, I thought, this was worse. Emotional pain was harder to mask than physical. Still, I would manage. I had to. For Rylan.

  It wasn't easy, but I managed to make it through. The entire meal was tense, but there weren't any other outbursts. In fact, it seemed like Rylan's family had decided that the easiest way to deal with me was to pretend I wasn't there. I went along with it even though the dirty looks I was getting pissed me off. Even that wasn't enough to distract me though.

  I didn't eat much, spending most of my time pushing the food around the plate. I felt Rylan giving me concerned looks, but I didn't look at him. If I did, I knew I wouldn't be able to go through with what I knew I would have to do. Or, at least what I thought I would have to do.

  I was trying very hard not to think about it too much. Once I did, I wouldn't be able to stop, and that would make it real. I had to make a choice.

  I just didn't know yet what that choice would be. Or that's what I told myself.

  Chapter 31

  “Are you sure you're okay?” Rylan asked for what seemed like the thousandth time.

  I nodded and forced a smile. The ride so far had been quiet and I knew what Rylan was thinking.

  “I'm so sorry, love,” he finally said. “If I would've known they were going to act that way, I never would've asked you to meet them.”

  “And when they wanted to meet the woman living with you?” I asked quietly. This wasn't what bothered me, but he seemed to need to talk about it, so I went with it.

  “I'd tell them to accept you or go to hell.” His tone was mild, but I knew he meant it.

  “You can't give up your family for me.” The guilt in my stomach knotted even more tightly. “They're just concerned about you.”

  “Hey.” He reached over and took my hand. “It doesn't matter why they do it. I love you and I'm not giving you up.”

  I swallowed hard, tears burning in my eyes. I let him think it was because of what he was saying rather than what I was hearing – that was taking his family away from him. He squeezed my hand and I looked away.

  I couldn't do it. I couldn't come between him and his family. No matter how much he said he was choosing me over them, no matter how awful they'd been, they were his family. And he deserved a family. Everyone did.

  Everyone except me, it seemed.

  I closed my eyes, not wanting to see my reflection in the window. With my hair dark again, I saw me as I used to be, the younger version of me. The me I never wanted to be again. Scared. Hurt. Weak.

  I couldn't be weak again. Especially not when it came to Rylan. He'd been there for me through so much, and now it was my turn.

  As the car stopped, I blinked back the last of the tears. I wouldn’t let him see me like this. He'd had a difficult enough night.

  “We're home.”

  I warmed at the sound of the words. Home. Something I'd never expected to have, especially not with another person. I didn't know what the future held, but for tonight, I had a home.

  “I cleared out the bedroom,” he said as we walked inside. “Put the guest room furniture in storage and put my stuff in the guest room.” He grinned at me. “The movers have already been told to set up the bedroom first.”

  I smiled back, pushing all of my doubts and fears down to the deepest part of me. Not now. Not tonight.

  “My – our – room is empty, but there's a bed in the guest room and that's all we need.” His arm slid around my waist. He pressed his lips against my ear. “Fuck that. I don't even need a bed.”

  A ripple of pleasure went through me. Before I made a decision, I'd give myself tonight.

  As we entered the house, I turned towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his head down so that our lips met. I felt his surprise, but it was momentary and then he kissed me back. He pulled me tight against him as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. His tongue explored my mouth, twisting and curling around my tongue. He drew it into his mouth, sucking on it, each pull of his mouth sending a jolt of pleasure straight south.

  I gasped into his mouth as he swept me into his arms and carried me up the stairs. He pushed open the door and laid me down on the bed. As much as I loved my own bed, this one was familiar and I relaxed into it.

  “I can't wait for this to officially be our house.” He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at me. He traced the line of my jaw with his finger. “I want to make love to you in every room as we unpack.” He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. “This is your home. Our home.”

  I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. I loved the feel of the silky strands against my skin. A surge of love filled me. I'd never felt anything so strong, so intense. I ran my f
ingers across his cheekbones, his jaw, traced the slope of his nose. I wanted to memorize every line, every curve.

  I knew it probably wasn't smart. A clean break would've been the best, but I couldn't do it. It would be pure torture calling up the memory of this face, of our time together, but it was worth it. I wouldn't trade one minute of what had happened from the moment I'd first met him, no matter how much pain it cost me.

  “What's wrong?” Rylan's expression shifted from lust to concern.

  “Just thinking about how lucky I am.” I lifted myself up enough to kiss his chin.

  “I'm the lucky one.” He brushed his lips against mine and then began to make his way down my neck.

  I moaned, tilting my head back. He kissed every inch of me, across my shoulders and down my arms. I caught my breath as his tongue teased at the crease of my elbow. His lips moved across my palm and up each finger before moving to the other arm. Only after he'd covered each exposed piece of skin did he reach for the zipper at my side. He slowly pulled it down, his tongue following.

  “I'm going to take my time,” he said as he peeled the dress off of me. He let out a low whistle when he saw what I was wearing underneath.

  Both the bra and the panties were sheer black lace, leaving only the shadows to conceal anything important. The garters around my thighs matched and the thigh-highs I wore were black as well. I shivered as he slowly rolled down each one, letting his fingers linger as they caressed my bare skin.

  “I love knowing that I'm going to come home to this every night.” He kissed each of my knees, then moved up my thighs, each kiss bringing him closer to where I wanted him. When he pressed his mouth against the crotch of my panties, I moaned.

  “You're so wet, love.”

  His breath was hot against my skin. He hooked his fingers under the waistband of my panties and pulled them down, moving at an excruciating pace. Part of me wanted him to move fast, to beg him to take me now, to stop the ache between my legs. Instead, I gave myself over to him, let him lead. I knew I would want to remember this, every moment. And if this was it, the more I had to remember, the better.