New Beginnings

by Elle M Thomas

  “I can't think why not. Thank God for tampons!” he declared then added, “I love making you come, Evie, in fact I could do it all morning if you fancy.”

  She looked up at him and laughed. “I thought we were having a weekend of talking?”

  “You are such a killjoy.” He pouted making her lean in to kiss him, then retreat.

  “I should get up and shower, brush my teeth.”

  “Brush the teeth first because I plan on kissing you lots today, tomorrow, forever,” he said quite seriously.

  “You really are a soppy sod, aren't you?” She grinned as she got to her feet and reached for her robe.

  “Oi, watch your language,” he replied as he got up and pulled her back against him. “A soppy sod who likes his woman a little more ladylike,” he told her making her laugh.

  “So, begging you to fuck me is okay but calling you a sod is a no-no?”

  “Oh, baby, begging to be fucked, whilst unnecessary is positively encouraged.”

  Still laughing she suddenly asked, “Is that what I am Gray, your woman?”

  “Well, you're not anyone else's and I don't plan on sharing you, so yes…”

  A loud bang on the door broke the moment. “Who the bloody hell is that and why doesn't your intercom system work?” asked Gray.

  “Dunno, it might be Sally, and it works, but everyone is friendly so if they're on their way out they'll let people in.” Eve pulled herself from him.

  “You're expecting her?” he asked confused.

  “No, but we have a reciprocal open-door policy and she often pops in on a Saturday morning for breakfast.”

  “That thing with letting people in defeats the object of an intercom,” he muttered. “Do you want me to go?” The door was knocked again.

  “No. Not unless you want to, you're welcome to stay.” Eve smiled, opening the bedroom door.

  “I'll put some clothes on.” He smiled back before she closed the bedroom door, leaving him to throw on his jeans.

  Eve secured her robe and opened the door, expecting to see the happy, smiling face of Sally who would undoubtedly make some sarcastic comment about her state of undress or the reason for the time it had taken her to answer the door, but when she pulled the door open she stood open mouthed at the faces before her, neither happy nor smiling.

  “Annette! Alan,” gasped Eve shocked to find them standing on her doorstep.

  “Evelyn,” replied Annette curtly. “We were beginning to give up on you answering, but you are here.”

  “Yes, but why are you?” asked Eve bluntly making Annette stare wildly.

  “I, we thought that as you were refusing to take my calls or reply to my messages that we should come to you. Now, are you inviting us in?” Annette pushed past Eve to gain entry followed by Alan who remained silent. “You need to start taking some responsibility, young lady, this is not just about you. You need to stop being so selfish...” she started and suddenly took in Eve's appearance and huffed loudly. “Right, go and get showered and dressed. I will make some tea and assuming you keep food in this Godforsaken place I will make breakfast, although,” she added, looking at her watch, “We're closer to lunch than breakfast, aren't we? Go!” she snapped, staring at Eve disapprovingly.

  Eve paused as she closed the front door with a bang and remembered that Gray was in her bedroom expecting to find Eve with Sally, not her dead husband's parents.

  “Evelyn!” shouted Annette, apparently annoyed that Eve wasn't doing what she was told quickly enough.

  Gray had pulled on last night’s jeans and a freshly laundered white t-shirt he'd left in a drawer earlier in the week. He pulled it over his head and smiled as the familiar smell of Eve's detergent filled his nostrils making him feel strangely close to her, as close as sex with her did, maybe closer. He'd never shared detergent with a woman he realised when he heard voices, two women, one was Eve's, although the other voice was the louder and more assertive one and he was certain it wasn't Sally. He was sure he heard the name Evelyn used and knew that she disliked it. The other woman's voice sounded agitated, but he couldn't make out what was being said even when he stood next to the bedroom door, ready to open it. He heard the other woman's voice again, saying Evelyn once more, but shouting this time which Gray took as his cue to find out exactly which uninvited guest was shouting at his girlfriend.

  He pulled the door open unsure what to expect and what he found was a nervous looking Eve, staring at him like a rabbit caught in headlights while the other woman, an older woman of around fifty, shorter than Eve and considerably wider, stood rooted to the spot glaring at him with a look of disbelief before turning her look to Eve. Then there was a man, around the same age as the woman, but tall, almost as tall as him and slender, with a head full of dark curly hair and familiar green eyes that made the penny drop for Gray; these were Max's parents and although he'd told Eve that he wouldn't be hidden this was probably not the best way to meet them for the first time. Gray was considering how to proceed when Annette spoke again, seemingly calm.

  “This certainly explains why you have been ignoring my calls and texts, not to mention why you couldn't be bothered to come home and visit Max for his thirtieth birthday. You were obviously too busy whoring yourself with whoever this is! Do you at least know his name? Does he know you are married, to my son, does he?” Annette was no longer calm, a screech having entered her voice.

  Gray looked at Eve and reached out to take her hand, hoping to convey a show of support.

  “Annette, please, come through and sit down, please,” pleaded Eve, ignoring the insults levied at her.

  “Sit down, with you? You are nothing more than a slut! Does he know you're married?” repeated Annette and it was Gray that replied now.

  “Mrs Pardoe, Mr Pardoe, I assume,” he started, desperate to wrap Eve in his arms and tell this woman to fuck off but settled for pulling Eve close so that she stood next to him, opposite the Pardoes. “My name's Grayson Sharp and Eve has told me that she was married, to Max, and that she is his widow. She certainly knows my name and we're together. I know this must be a shock to you, to you both, but Eve doesn't deserve to be treated this way and called unpleasant names.”

  “Alan,” said Alan, introducing himself, earning a sharp smack to the ribs from Annette.

  “I wasn't talking to you!” she snapped and turned back to Eve. “Evelyn!” she screeched again making Eve wince, but at least she did speak up now.

  “Annette, I’d planned on calling you back today, to explain that I had met someone and to tell you that I plan on selling the house at some point. I'm happy here—” was as far as she got before Annette interrupted.

  “You can't, you can't stay here, you belong back home with us—”

  Eve interrupted. “No, I don't. I belonged there with Max and he's gone, Annette.” Her voice was beginning to quiver slightly as she continued, “Max has gone, he's dead and he is not coming back. I am not Max's wife, I am his widow and I hate it. I hate the pitiful expressions on people's faces when they see me. I am not like you, Annette. I can't embrace the grief. I can't talk about Max in the present tense and pretend like we're all happy together. I remembered it was Max's birthday and I had no intention of coming to visit him because he is not there. His ashes are secreted behind a stone that carries his name, the date he was born and when he died. It tells the world that he existed. That he was a husband, son and brother, but my Max is not there.” She cried making Annette cry. “I don't want to be mean and hurt you, Annette, and you should deal with the loss of Max anyway you can, but your way is not my way.”

  Alan put a supportive hand around his wife's shoulder.

  Eve continued, “When you phoned me on Max's birthday I was in a car park preparing to meet Gray and after we spoke I decided to come home, here, and then I changed my mind because me crying for me, for Max, for anything, it wasn't going to change it, so, I went back to meet Gray and decided to live my life. I’d forgotten that day that it would have been Max's b
irthday and I felt guilty for that, but then I remembered Max was the one who had died, not me.”

  The hallway remained silent and nobody appeared to see Annette's hand rising or falling until it landed across Eve's face with a thud. It echoed around them all and was delivered with enough force that it knocked Eve sideways so that the un-slapped side of her face collided with Gray's firm chest, causing her jaw to almost rattle.

  “Whoa!” shouted Gray as he pushed Eve behind him. “You are obviously upset, but you have no right to lay a hand on Eve, ever. I know that you may have done it before, but believe me, that was definitely the last time that you will,” he said firmly but calmly.

  Annette was staring up at Gray, possibly at the revelation that he knew she’d hit Eve before. He ignored Annette's expression and turned his attention to Alan. “Alan, I have no clue what you and your wife have been through or are still going through and I empathise, but Eve is my priority here, however, I agree with your wife that Eve can't just ignore your attempts at making contact so maybe you could take your wife through to the kitchen and Eve will get dressed and everyone can sit down calmly and talk. What do you say?”

  “I say that's a very good idea. Annette,” Alan led his wife into the flat before he turned back to Eve. “Eve, are you okay?”

  She looked towards her father-in-law and smiled weakly before Gray replied, “She will be, come on, Evie.”

  Gray frowned at Annette's back, confused as she said, “You really have replaced my son in every way, haven't you?”

  Eve was relieved to re-enter the bedroom with Gray and winced as he knelt before her on the stool at her dressing table.

  “I thought you had a decent hand on you, but she's something else.” He smiled, stroking a thumb across her red cheek. “Sorry if me coming out inflamed things but there was no way I was going to stay in here while some unknown assailant was mouthing off at you, after all you're my woman.”

  “I never dreamt they'd turn up here, sorry,” she said offering her own apology.

  “I guess it had to happen. I told you I wouldn't be hidden and now I'm not.” He got to his feet and rummaging in her wardrobe gathered clothes. Putting clean underwear with a vest top and a pair of cropped leggings he offered them to her as he pulled her to her feet. “Come on, bathroom,” he ordered, leading her across the hall and into the bathroom where he grabbed a flannel from the airing cupboard and after running it under the cold tap pressed it against her face, ignoring her protests. “What did she mean about replacing her son in every way?” Gray studied Eve's reaction.

  Sighing, she replied, “You know I hate being called Evelyn? Well, it's not a recent thing and when I first met Max and he found out my name was Evelyn he called it me until he realised the extent of my hatred for it, so he changed it to Evie-Lyn and that was often cut back to Evie. Nobody had ever called me Evie before, or since, until you—”

  “I’m so sorry, baby. You should have said,” interrupted Gray.

  “What? No! I was shocked by it the first time you called it me, but as your fingers were in my knickers at that point, it seemed a bit pedantic to correct you, and I liked it, the fingers and the name, still do. I like the way you say it,” she admitted, making him smile.

  “Okay baby, if you're sure.” He felt a swelling in his chest at her comments. No, not his chest, his heart. “You gave me the edited highlights before about the night of what would have been Max's birthday, but I’m glad you came back to me and decided to live your life. Now, you get in the shower while I brush my teeth and then I will go out to Annette and Alan while you finish getting ready,” he told her, grabbing the toothbrush he now left in her bathroom.

  Chapter 13

  Eve was showered and dressed within ten minutes and had returned to the bedroom to pull her hair into a clip. She slipped on a pair of flip-flops before venturing as far as the kitchen where Gray was sitting opposite Alan at the table who in turn was sitting next to a silent Annette. They all looked up at her as she entered, with both men smiling.

  “Hey, baby, let me get you some tea.” Gray headed for the kitchen.

  Spying the pot of coffee already done, Eve shook her head. “Coffee is fine, thank you.”

  Gray gestured for her to sit down while he got her drink and she nervously sat opposite Annette.

  She stared at the red mark on Eve's face. “I assume you want me to apologise for smacking you?” she asked tersely.

  “I don't want anything, Annette. If you're sorry then apologise, if not then it will be like last time when Alan ends up doing it for you.” Eve sounded weary but felt irritated now, irritated that anyone would want to deprive her of some happiness.

  “What do you suppose Max would say if he could see you now?” snapped Annette.

  Eve resisted the temptation to ask the other woman the same question because he would be horrified at the person his mother was becoming. With a deep breath she remembered one occasion where Max had refused to speak to his mother for a few weeks when she had said something unpleasant to Eve, unpleasant enough that Eve had cried once she was alone, but Max had found her and insisted that she told him what had been said. That memory was now fresh in her mind and made her more determined not to fight fire with fire because she knew that Max would never have allowed his mother to hurt her, he would have reacted as Gray had but Annette didn’t need to be told that. She was hurting enough.

  Gray took his seat next to Eve and handed her some coffee.

  “You can leave now.” Annette threw in a dismissive wave of her hand, making Eve angrier than before.

  “Gray stays as long as he wants to, Annette. This is my home and you don't have the right to start barking orders and I don't think you really want me to answer your question about what Max would say,” replied Eve.

  “You can't tell me anything about my son I don't know!” she snapped back.

  “Annette, I don't want to do this. Nobody will win in this and I could tell you plenty about Max, but this is getting us nowhere. What do you want from me?” Eve picked her cup up.

  “I want my son to never have met you, I want him to never have married you, I want to be the one who nursed him and who he discussed his dying wishes with, I want to be the one he cried at the prospect of leaving, I want my baby back, Eve and if I can't have any of those things I want my son's children, a piece of my son that lives on, and you are depriving me of that,” said Annette with tears streaming down her face while Gray stared at Eve confused.

  She said her son's children and that Eve was depriving her of that. What the hell did that mean? Did it mean that Eve and Max had children? They couldn't have, she would have said, and they'd only been married a year when he became ill and she'd said last night that she'd never had unprotected sex, like him. If they had a child, a baby, where was he, or she? He had an overwhelming urge to run for the hills, but he needed to hear what Eve had to say, he needed her not to have kids, not that he objected to that, but he needed her not to be the sort of mum who would abandon her kids, ever.

  “Annette.” Eve gently stretched across the table and took the other woman's hands in her own, hoping to convey understanding, empathy and a mutual love for Max. “I can't give you any of those things and back to what Max would want; he wouldn't want me to give them to you if I could, except for having him back. Max and I talked a lot when he was first ill and he was scared, more for you and me than himself. He loved me Annette and I loved him, too. I know you never thought I was right for him, but he knew I was and when you reacted so badly to us buying a house together he was the one that decided being married may soften you to the idea of us but he did admit afterwards that he used that notion to his advantage in getting me to marry him. He wanted me to nurse him and be responsible for carrying out his dying wishes and that was his right to ask, as it was mine to do it. I cried at the prospect of losing him as much as he did, for me and for you too. I can't give you Max's children, I really can't.” She turned to Gray, “There are no children, but before Max
had chemo they offered us the chance to have his sperm frozen as the treatment was likely to leave him infertile and just in case the chemo provided a miracle we accepted the offer and Max also indicated that after his death the sperm would be mine to do whatever I wanted with it. For some reason, Max told Annette, hoping it would offer some comfort I think.”

  Gray nodded his understanding and despite the questions queueing in his head he allowed Eve to turn back to Annette.

  “I can't have a baby using Max's sperm. I won’t. How could I have a baby knowing I was bringing it into a world minus his dad, deliberately? How would I ever move on from Max with a baby? I want to get back to being Eve, just Eve, and I’m looking at going back to work, to restart my career. I really am sorry that I can't make things better or easier for you, but the more you do this, Annette, the more inclined I am to try and avoid you,” admitted Eve.

  “Oh, Eve. I know I don't make it easy and I did like you, but nobody would ever have been good enough for my little boy and then you ran off to get married and deprived me of a chance to see my only son get married. I am sorry for making you feel unwelcome. I understand that your career is important, so I have been thinking.” Annette smiled.

  “Netty, no!” warned Alan with a worried expression on his face.

  “Alan it's the perfect solution for us all,” Annette replied to her husband and immediately turned her attention back to Eve. “If you were to use Max's sperm and become pregnant you could stay here and make your life with your career and we would bring up the baby, it's a perfect solution for us all,” said Annette, smiling for the first time.

  Gray was beginning to think that this was all a bad dream and was scared as Eve paused before replying. How the hell could this woman ask this of anyone? He was more concerned as the seconds ticked by because apart from anything else, he knew that if Eve even considered the option of this he would walk away.

  “Annette, are you asking me to have a baby and give it to you to raise? Am I understanding you correctly?” Eve was partially stunned by the current turn of events.