New Beginnings

by Elle M Thomas

  “Oh, Grayson.” She took the hand draped around her and placed a single kiss to his palm.

  “It was all downhill from there. She drank even more, if that was possible, spent nights away from home, didn’t worry too much about feeding us, caring for us, nothing. I was old enough to ensure we were fed, washed, wearing clean clothes and it kept us above suspicion as far as school and grandparents were concerned. My paternal grandparents were trustees for the assets dad had left to us and they loved us, unconditionally and would have intervened.”

  “You didn’t want their intervention?” Eve asked with curiosity that there had been someone, two even, who could have and apparently would have come to their rescue.

  “Not really. I guess on some level, at that point I loved her and wanted her to intervene, to put things right. Love us and care for us, to be our mother and make up for the absence of our father. She didn’t. Somehow, she stopped short of physical abuse, but emotionally she gave us nothing but contempt, scorn and derision. I became hardened to it quite quickly, meaning for the most part she would leave me alone and at other times she seemed desperate to get me on side, but Sam…she laid into her at every opportunity, usually when I wasn’t around. Anyway, she went out one night and disappeared for about eight weeks with Ray.”

  “How the fuck do you go out for eight weeks?” Eve asked, feeling increasing annoyance at the woman she had yet to meet. “Fuck me, she is beginning to put my mother to shame.”

  “Stop swearing.” Gray frowned before answering her question. “They went on holiday and left me and Sam home alone, which we were relieved about, I think, and we covered for her. We had cash and food and by then we were buying our own groceries and fending for ourselves, so we were good with the situation.”

  “Poor you and Sam. I can’t believe that her feelings could change towards her children so quickly.” Eve shook her head disbelievingly. “Just because your father wronged her in her mind.”

  “It took years for me to truly get my head around that, baby, and eventually I concluded that her feelings towards us were always perfunctory. She did what was expected, what she had to, and whilst I believe she loved us during that time, while we made up part of the family unit she, and I quote, worked damned hard to make, I don’t truly believe it was the right kind of love. So, about three weeks into her disappearing act our grandparents turned up, unannounced and unexpectedly and we were busted, her and us. Like I say, they were trustees and were a little shocked by what they found and phoned the police and social services and we were placed into their care. When she returned, she was cautioned. The authorities sympathised with the grief, bereavement and depression she cited as the reason for her behaviour. Her own parents bought into that but that was it and when she came to see us and tried to blame our dad for her actions…we were angry and confused and when we, well I, and Sam followed my lead, when I got up to walk out rather than listen to her she said, if you walk out of here now you are dead to me, like your father.”

  “Wow! You walked, didn't you?” Eve already knew the answer, certain that he would have only reacted and in turn behave in one way.

  “Yeah. Sam followed and our mother left. We didn't know what happened to her or where she was and although we saw our other grandparents, they never mentioned her to us, and we never did to them. Our family home was sold and put into trust for us and our grandparents stored the old man's stuff for us for later.” He smiled. “We didn't see her for a few years; I was ready to go off to uni when she turned up with a husband, Edward Tanner, a widower, Lucas and Poppy's dad. Lucas was all of ten and Poppy was six. They'd been married a couple of years and she had completely reinvented herself, she even played the loving and devoted mummy role beautifully,” he sneered.

  “But you felt you knew better?”

  “She abandoned us, Eve, me and Sam. When we needed her the most and after she returned, when she got caught, she blamed our dad, and everything and everyone other than herself. He had been an arse, my dad, how he'd treated her after death, but she wasn't destitute, and we were her children. Long term we would have shared everything but when we needed her she cut us off, as dead and then she went and replaced us, all of us, Dad, me, Sam and it hurt so I did what I do best.” He sighed loudly.

  “Walked?”

  Laughing, he leaned down and kissed the end of her nose. “You've heard this one before?”

  “Sorry,” Eve said sincerely and wondered whether she should refrain from speaking in case he took from her words inference that she thought she knew him in ways he didn’t want her to.

  “Don't be. Other than Tim I don't think I have ever told anyone else this stuff and I like that you know what I’m likely to have done or reacted, even if it does unnerve me a little. Anyway, I walked and went off to uni a few weeks later so was able to avoid her, but Sam.” He roughly pushed a hand through his hair, releasing his arm from her then buried his face in his hands. “She was left alone and vulnerable to mum's attempts to build bridges, which Sam wanted to do. If Sam dared to ask questions or wanted explanations she got slapped back down and rejected again, pushed away which hurt her and in turn hurt me, making me mad at her all over again. She would force Sam to watch as she showered Poppy with the affection Sam still craved. I was relieved when Sam was able to go to uni because it gave her space and we kind of made a pact to deal with her together, even if it only meant that Sam and I would talk through stuff she might say or do with each other. Then, after a few more mistakes Sam and Tim got together, and it became the three of us. Tim and I were in business together by then and had established ourselves as the new kids on the block and brought Sam into the company and she married Tim.”

  Eve smiled at the happy, content and proud smile Gray wore when he spoke about his sister, his sister and his best friend together. Silently she wondered how it must feel to always have someone in your corner, no matter what, a sibling who shared genetics, memories, experiences and a past.

  “My mum was still a blot on the landscape for me, she even suggested that Sam should have Edward give her away at her wedding. She still manages to irritate me and get under Sam's skin and hurts her, not always deliberately but for me that makes it worse, that still she doesn't care enough to think first. So, I avoid her as much as I can, but sometimes, usually for Sam, I suffer her and try to bite my tongue when she comes across all mother of the year, whereas Sam wants us all to be one big happy family. All of us; Lucas, Poppy, all of them, but they are not my family. Edward is a good man and I have no clue what she must have told him about my dad and us and I don’t want to know, not really, because if she has told him shit and bad mouthed my dad and grandparents I don’t want to know. I wouldn’t be able to ignore that and honestly, what would that achieve really? I just wished she’d stayed away or at least acknowledged her wrongdoing, if only to me and Sam, but she didn’t. She lied and reinvented.”

  “You resent that she stuck by the family that weren't hers and abandoned the one that was?” said Eve sadly, wondering what Diana and her own mother might make of each other.

  “Are you sure you haven't heard this one before? I worry for Sam, but I trust Tim to guide her and keep me in the loop if I miss anything, but her desire to be a mother is blinding her slightly. Plus, my mum is a deceitful cow and will use anything to win favour or close the distance between us. If I'm there I can intercept it, not that she doesn't manage to get one past me every now and again.” Gray sighed thinking about Sienna.

  Eve looked up at him with a perplexed expression, unsure what she'd just missed, but she’d certainly missed something. Gray didn't expand on the details so it couldn't be important, could it?

  “That's why you were so angry with me, isn't it? That day in your office, when you assumed I had manipulated a situation to take advantage of you and why you were so vile about me being married? You thought I was like your mum.” Eve pieced the details together for herself and him.

  “Yes, but I know I was wrong, I figured it out as s
oon as I found out about Max and Sally explained, well kind of. That's also why I was panic struck when Annette was talking about your children, her son's children,” he admitted, hoping she wouldn't be offended by his admission.

  “It wouldn't happen, Gray. If I'd had children with Max, or anyone, I would never have left them and I certainly wouldn't have given them away which is why this ridiculous idea of me having a baby for Annette or even worse that she finds someone else to have Max's baby has to end.”

  “I know that now. I was so relieved when you set Annette straight on that score.” He smiled as the waitress returned and cleared their plates away.

  “Thank you,” they said in stereo making the waitress smile.

  “So, you intend to destroy Max's sperm then?” Gray wondered if he was overstepping the mark by asking this question in such a fledgling relationship as theirs.

  “Yes, I think I have to. I'm going to try and contact the unit this week to see what I need to do to start the ball rolling.”

  “Talking of next week, are you nervous about your first day at work?” Gray changed topic completely, sending a definite signal that his revelations were over.

  “A little, but excited too. It'll be nice to get back into it and to meet new people who don't know me or know where I've come from,” she explained.

  “Do you want dessert?” he asked, seeing the waitress on her way back with the dessert menu.

  Eve shook her head wanting nothing else besides the man next to her.

  Chapter 18

  Eve found that she woke every hour from midnight to six and as she was deciding to get up and shower, she fell into a deep sleep that Gray woke her from an hour later.

  “Come on, baby. You don't want to be late for your first day,” he whispered in her ear as she continued to resist getting up from the bed.

  “Your bed is too comfortable” she moaned, making him laugh.

  “Thank God I didn't open a bottle of wine last night.” He pulled her hands from her face. “Especially that red wine you don't like,” he added, referring to her claim not to like red wine before sinking at least half the bottle they'd shared on Saturday night.

  “Sod off, Gray,” she complained, making him laugh at her.

  “You are so not a morning person, although when I wake you up by touching you, you're a little cheerier, and don't swear.” He leaned down to nuzzle her neck.

  “Do you think it's too late to go back to Sally and beg her to let me work for her and then we could stay in bed?” she asked quite seriously.

  “Eve, you're nervous about your new job, but it will be fine, you will be great. Come on, get showered and I'll go and make you some tea,” he told her kissing her naked shoulder.

  After a quick shower, a cup of tea and a bowl of granola at the breakfast bar while Gray had coffee, a bowl of sugary cereal and his free trading cards, Eve felt slightly more human and ran back upstairs to brush her teeth, again, and to dress. Gray had just emerged from the shower wearing a small, teal coloured towel and a smile.

  “Loving the outfit, baby.”

  She stood in front of the mirror in the dressing room wearing a white lace thong and matching plunge bra.

  “I thought I should make a good impression on my first day.” She grinned at his reflection in the mirror.

  “You're not funny, baby, and I assure you nobody else will be seeing this particular outfit or they’ll have me to deal with. Now put some clothes on before I claim another pair of knickers.” There was no disguising the threat he was making.

  “I may need to start staying at home on school nights if you're going to talk like this in the mornings,” she told him, already feeling the effects of his words coursing through her body.

  “That wouldn't work. I have that all or nothing thing going on.” He delivered a single sharp spank to her left cheek making her jump. “Now put some clothes on,” he repeated, pulling his towel off and leaving her to calm down while he got dressed.

  They rode into work together and the closer they got, the quieter she became due to nervousness. Gray had never really seen this side of her before. He'd witnessed moments of her being out of her depth and floundering slightly, but she was really nervous, scared.

  Pulling into his parking space he turned to her. “We could do lunch if you want.”

  “I don't know what time I'll be on lunch. Can I call you later, or text?” She was already preparing to leave the car.

  “Sure. You wanna ride up together?” Gray was unsure how to reassure Eve and resented the feeling of helplessness.

  “No. I might just take a minute.” She got out of the car before ducking back in. “Thank you, for a wonderful weekend and everything. I'll call you later.” She smiled and headed for the door marked reception.

  Leon was already in work when Eve arrived, and he immediately put her at ease. He greeted her warmly and showed her to her desk which was located just outside his office. There were two desks positioned back to back and Eve had been allocated the one facing Leon's office.

  “Right then, Eve, let me show you to the kitchen and you can get familiar with the kettle,” he grinned.

  Following him down the corridor to the kitchen she felt less nervous than she had earlier and regretted being quite so grouchy with Gray. Eve was returning to her desk with coffee for herself and a green tea thing for Leon when she noticed that the desk opposite hers was now occupied by a strawberry blonde woman of around twenty wearing jeans and a baggy, brightly printed t-shirt that seemed to hang off her shoulder neatly but revealed a bright yellow bra strap.

  “Yo, new girl,” she called to Eve as she prepared to take her seat. “First in makes coffee for us all,” she told her.

  “Sorry, I didn't know,” said Eve, nervous again. “I'll get you one. Milk, sugar?” Eve sounded as though she was about to cry or hyperventilate.

  Laughing, the girl shook her head. “Sorry, I was messing with you. I can get my own, but if you are first in, and you probably will be 'cause I ain't really a morning person, I take it white with three. I'm Louisa, Lou.” She grinned. “Have you got some work?”

  “Hi Lou, I'm Eve, no, no work yet,” she replied.

  “Are you admin?” asked Lou.

  “Kind of.” Eve’s reply confused her colleague. “I’m doing admin and whatever Leon asks me to, but I worked in P.R. after leaving uni until a couple of years ago when I took a break.”

  “Ah, you had a kid?” assumed Lou.

  “No, I just had a few personal problems, but I've been doing some advertising stuff with a friend of mine and then the agency called to say Leon was looking for someone.”

  “Right, cool. I have some stuff that you can share.” Lou handed a wad of papers across to Eve. “It's just a case of going into the job and updating the details from the sheet and then finance will invoice the client, oh and you will be fielding Leon's calls,” explained Lou.

  “Okay, thanks.” With a smile Eve began to work through the pile of papers that Lou had given her.

  She found that the morning was going quickly and she and Lou had settled into a comfortable, quiet routine. Lou made a drink for them both mid-morning and whilst they each seemed happy to chat, they didn't feel the need to force conversation for the sake of it. Eve's phone that was sitting on her desk but set to silent began to vibrate a message alert making her smile to see Gray's name.

  Hope your morning’s going well. Gave you time to settle before stalking. Do you want to do lunch? I had a wonderful weekend too x

  “What time's lunch?” asked Eve looking across at Lou.

  “It's flexible between twelve and half one,” she replied. “We could grab something together if you fancy.”

  “I have plans today, but tomorrow, I would love to.” Eve’s reply was sincere, knowing the importance of co-worker relationships and wanting to get to know the woman opposite her a little better.

  “Tomorrow then. There's a bistro around the corner, they do a really good lunch menu.” The younger w
oman smiled.

  “Sounds great.” With a sincere smile, Eve returned her attention to her phone.

  Lunch is between 12 & 1.30 so when u free? Morning has been good. Have made a friend! Glad u enjoyed weekend 2 x

  Come up @ 12.15. What friend? Hope next weekend is as good even with my mother! Sam is happy we're going on Saturday x

  Friend, Lou, 20ish have agreed 2 lunch with her tom. Glad Sam is happy, even if ur not. We could make Sat date night if u want, a reward for Sat afternoon. x

  I was hoping to lunch with you tom too. Sat night is a date baby. See you @ 12.15. x

  Eve looked up and found Lou watching her carefully, but neither of them spoke until twelve when Lou announced, “Right, I'm off for lunch. What time are you going?”

  “About another quarter of an hour,” she replied.

  “I'll make coffee when I come back. See you later.”

  Leon appeared just after Lou left and sat on the edge of Eve's desk. “So, how's your first morning gone?”

  “Good thanks. Lou has guided me through the paperwork,” she replied.

  “Good. I want you to be happy here, Eve,” he said seriously. “And I know the general admin stuff is mind numbingly boring, so I was wondering if you'd like to sit in on a meeting with me in the morning. Have you heard of Single No More? It's an online dating site and they are struggling against some of the more prominent sites, so...”

  “They're looking to raise their profile more positively?” Eve finished, but hoped she’d masked her knowledge of the dating agency both she and Gray had signed up to.

  “Exactly,” smiled Leon.

  “Thanks. I'd love to.”

  “I'll email you the details. Would you like to grab some lunch?” he asked, shocking Eve slightly.

  “Sorry, I have plans, and tomorrow,” she said with a hint of panic at the notion that her new boss was hitting on her.