Alien Collective

by Gini Koch

“What do you take us for, amateurs?” Rhee added.

  “Nope, but you know how you spell assume.” Despite the situation, Chuckie started laughing. Always nice to have an appreciative audience, even if said audience only had one member.

  “Excuse me?” Rahmi said.

  “I don’t understand you,” Rhee added.

  “So few ever do. We have a situation. Meet Sandy.”

  “Sandy?” This was chorused by everyone, the superconsciousness included.

  “Well, this was Sloshy, but now, since he/she/it has changed elements, we’re going with Sandy, because it’s more accurate. Or the Entity Formerly Known as Sloshy. Take your pick.”

  “Sandy.” Again, chorused by everyone, superconsciousness included. And it was definitely the loudest, too. Nice to know it had a preference.

  “Okay, so, Sandy, why here, why now, and what, if any, are your rules of engagement? Marquess of Queensberry rules? MMA octagon limitations? I know you are but what am I basics?”

  Sandy Formerly Sloshy stared at me. Kind of. It was hard to be sure. But it seemed to be staring. And what was pretending to be its mouth was sort of hanging open. “We don’t understand you,” it said finally.

  “So freaking few ever do, Sandy. So freaking few ever do. It’s my cross to bear but I manage to find the will to go on because I live for crap like this to happen to me. And so far, never disappointed, so thanks for keeping my record intact.”

  “You are . . . being funny?”

  “Sure. Why not?”

  “Right now? When you are about to fight for your right to exist?”

  “I fight for my right to party all the time.” Tim started laughing at this one. Good to know I was keeping it light for everyone. “Look, we have a ton of situations going on, so could you please just explain your supposedly neutral but actually evil plan so we can roll? I have a couple of traitors to try to catch up to and time’s a wastin’.”

  But before Sandy Formerly Sloshy could reply my phone rang.

  “Hang on, Sandy, hold whatever deep thoughts you’re having, won’t be a mo’.” Dug my phone out and looked at the number. Vaguely familiar. Took a wild guess. “Hel-lo Bruce Jenkins.” Heard everyone behind me groan. Sandy Formerly Sloshy looked discombobulated, at least as much as a sifting sand creature could.

  “Missus Martini, how are you?” My ability to remember which random numbers went with which random callers remained excellent. I was on a roll.

  “Busy, Bruce. And that’s Ambassador Martini to you, I’m sure. But back to how I am. Busy, busy, busy. Like you, trust me, wouldn’t believe. What, therefore, can I do for you in thirty seconds or less?”

  “I’d like that interview now, if it’s convenient.”

  “Wow, you’re a reporter for the Post and yet you don’t know the definition of the word ‘busy.’ Sad times out there in the fourth estate.” Really wanted to hang up, but figured that since I was also hoping to defeat Sandy Formerly Sloshy in some way, that would mean we had a later and possibly even a tomorrow, meaning pissing Jenkins off totally was probably not the right plan.

  “Oh, I’m sure you can dedicate a few minutes to help your husband’s campaign.”

  “I can, Bruce, I can. Only, not right now. Seriously, I have people. Call them. Set up a meeting. Attend the meeting. Ask me all your probing, personal, inappropriate, leading questions loaded with innuendo and hidden meanings then. Stop calling me like this or other papers will start to believe that we’re having an affair.”

  “Speaking of affairs—”

  But before Jenkins could share whatever Affairs Theory he had going, Sandy Formerly Sloshy reached out and took my phone out of my hand. “She . . . is . . . BUSY!” it thundered. Impressively. Very loud and echoey with a whole Wrath of the Gods thing going, too. Figured that would hold good old Bruce Jenkins at least for a few minutes.

  Then it hung the phone up and handed it back to me. Politely.

  Took my phone and slid it into the back pocket of my jeans. Hopefully no sand had gotten into it. I could get a new one quickly from the Science Center, but that would leave me without a phone right now. Though, based on the quality of calls I’d been receiving today, that might not be a bad thing. “Thanks. He’s a real jerk.”

  “He is,” Sandy Formerly Sloshy agreed. “Stop thinking of me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “As Sandy Formerly Sloshy. Pick a name. Just one.”

  “Wow, you superconsciousnesses are super freaky about naming, aren’t you?” There was something about this I needed to figure out, and more than anything else, I needed to figure it out right now.

  “The form many times creates the thing,” Chuckie said quietly from right behind me. “And observation tends to create affinity.” Resisted telling him I loved him because none of us needed Jeff to have a Jealousy Attack right now. But it was always nice to have the smartest guy in any room, or on any airfield, covering your back and doing some of the heavy thinking.

  “Sandy is a real name. Sloshy and Sandy Formerly Sloshy are not.” Sandy sounded insulted.

  “You were reading my mind? I call shenanigans. And that’s also totally unfair in all the various rules.”

  “ACE reads your mind, all the time.” Now Sandy sounded defensive.

  “Yes, but ACE isn’t trying to hurt us.”

  “I am not trying to hurt you, either. I am here to ensure that the ACE entity behaves properly, as required by our laws.” Now Sandy sounded defensive, whiny, and a little bit hurt.

  It could and was reading my mind. Jeff was probably far too busy blocking everyone’s stress from himself to take the time to read me. Might as well just say what I was thinking and share the wonder that was my thoughts with the others, who were not able to read my mind.

  “You’re touchy about names, but you don’t actually have any until you show up here. Why don’t you name yourselves?”

  “It is . . . not allowed.”

  “Uh huh. Is that because you’ll become a real, for want of a better word, person? Because you like the name Sandy, don’t you? And you want us to use it. And you used the word ‘I.’ In all the time ACE has been here, he’s never used that word. And we call him a ‘he’ but we could call him a ‘she,’ too. ‘It’ is more appropriate but we humans tend to find that a rude thing to call a living being because we’re admittedly gender focused. But you’ve manifested as male both times we’ve seen you, so that means you’re also identifying as a particular gender.”

  “Sandy can be a man or a woman’s name,” Reader said conversationally. “It’s one of those good, ambiguous names.”

  “You are trying to win me over to your side,” Sandy said as if this was, somehow, surprising.

  “Well, we’d rather be your bestest buds than fight you, yes. And since we want to buddy up and all that, duh.”

  “Duh?”

  “It means ‘obviously,’ only it’s ruder. We say that to each other all the time. Kind of a relaxed, joking, buddy thing.”

  “You want me to be your . . . buddy?”

  “Better than being our enemy. We’ll settle for frenemy if needed. Means an enemy who’s also friendly to you, or vice versa. Depending on the being.” Siler might have fallen into this territory. Yet another line of thought I’d have to follow later. If we got a later.

  “I could destroy you, you know.”

  “Yes, we know.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure,” Mahin said. “Right now, your entire essence is within the sand construct you’ve created.”

  “So?” Sandy now sounded belligerent. Hoped this wasn’t going to get ugly.

  “So, I have you bound,” Mahin said calmly. “You are contained within the sand.”

  “You are not powerful enough to do that.” Sandy sounded just a little bit doubtful however.

  Mahin came and stood next to me. She shrugged. “Try to leave.”

  Sandy shrugged back, which was no less icky than when it had been a water man, but in a different way.
The sand really looked like a bunch of ants or other tiny insects, moving over each other. Really hoped this wasn’t the case.

  Sandy burst apart, sand flying everywhere. Or, rather, sand trying to fly everywhere. It was captured in what seemed to be a large bubble, but one made of other sand. Looked at Mahin out of the corner of my eye—it was clear she was concentrating.

  “It’s still in there,” she said through clenched teeth. “It can hear you.”

  “Sandy my friend, I don’t think this outcome is what you were expecting. However, we’re actually nice, pacifistic people. Well, my husband’s people are. My people are bloodthirsty killers who delight in conquest. Guess who’s in charge of this particular outcome?”

  “I am not your enemy,” Sandy said from within the bubbling sphere of sand. Sounded even weirder and even more dry and crumbly this way. I wasn’t a fan.

  “Wise choice. We have a saying here, though, that I like a lot: Prove it.”

  Sandy was quiet for a few long seconds. “How?”

  “Promise me, in whatever way your kind promises, that you’re going to leave ACE alone, let him stay with us on Earth if he wants to, let him leave Earth if he wants to, let him interfere as much as he feels is right, not as much as you all feel is right.”

  “And if I refuse? She cannot hold me in this form forever. The moment she tires, I will be free.”

  “No problem. If you refuse, we’ll fight you. If we lose, I’ll go with ACE, wherever you take him. And . . .” Well, no time like the present for the Big Gamble. “I’ll name all of you.”

  The sand that was Sandy started roiling around. Mahin staggered. “It’s panicked,” Jeff said as he ran to us and held Mahin up. “I can feel it, blocks or no blocks.”

  Gower stepped closer. “She doesn’t want to hurt you, Sandy,” he said gently. “Or your people. We don’t want to fight with you, any of you. We just promised ACE we’d protect him as he protects us, and we will honor that promise.”

  “It is against our laws,” Sandy wailed. I’d heard ACE wail like this. And just because we could destroy something didn’t mean we should.

  Was about to say something to try to calm the situation when Sandy proved that it was right—Mahin couldn’t contain it for long.

  CHAPTER 36

  THE SAND FLEW EVERYWHERE, all over us. Worried that Sandy was going to try to do something really horrible—like burrow into our skin—but thankfully all it did was form another dust devil.

  A really big dust devil. Bordering on tornado. Not good.

  On the other hand, every A-C was probably faster than a tornado, and the princesses were from the Alpha Centauri system and like all the beings from there, speedy. Meaning only half the men standing with me, and every human working at Home Base, was in danger. Considering this was an air base and A-C reflexes were so good that they actually couldn’t drive or fly because they’d destroy the machinery, that meant a lot of humans. Back to not good.

  Took a deep breath and really hoped I was doing the right thing. “Mahin . . . do your best to get Sandy under some kind of control. The rest of you, help her. Don’t bring in military, they can’t fight this.”

  “What are you planning to do?” Jeff asked suspiciously.

  I’d challenged Sandy. And I’d fought him before. If I was right—and I really hoped I was—the only one who’d have to deal with Sandy, therefore, was me. “What I have to.”

  Took off running, so Jeff and Chuckie both just missed grabbing me—Jeff because he was still holding Mahin up, Chuckie because he wasn’t an A-C. Someone else caught me grabbed my hand just before I hit into Sandy, though.

  “Paul, let go—” But before I could insist Gower get back, or he could actually choose wisdom, we hit the tornado. And were instantly sucked up into it.

  Unlike when he’d been Sloshy, we didn’t go out the other side of the tornado. Which was disappointing in a variety of ways.

  Gower’s hold on my hand tightened, which was fine with me. I now knew how Dorothy and Toto had felt inside the tornado. Only I knew we weren’t going to end up somewhere awesome like Oz.

  Struck out with my free hand and my feet. Wasn’t sure if I was having any effect, but I also wasn’t being hurt. Despite being inside a violent whirlwind of sand, my face wasn’t being hit and I could safely open my eyes. To see Gower not fighting at all.

  He was still and calm, and as I slowed my thrashing, he pulled me to him and held me. “I don’t think violence is the right answer,” he said. “In this case, anyway.”

  There was less sand hitting me now that I was staying still. I could tell we were moving, not just randomly around, but in a direction. Hoped it was toward Groom Lake, versus through billions of dollars’ worth of military equipment.

  Felt something going around me. Sand was sticking to us now, but not in a hurtful manner. Realized what Gower undoubtedly already had—if we were inside Sandy, then Mahin had something solid to start to build control around.

  “Close your eyes, Paul.”

  “Ahead of you.”

  “Yeah, picked that up.” Gower and I remained still. Felt more pressure, which I assumed was more of Sandy’s various grains being pushed against us. As this happened, the spinning slowed down proportionately.

  Felt like hours but it was probably only minutes and the pressure was intense, but the spinning had stopped completely. We were on the ground, and on our sides. And then we were on Gower’s back, our other sides, on my back, and so on. Realized someone was rolling us.

  The rolling stopped. So figured they had us and Sandy wherever they wanted us. The issue was now that Gower and I were trapped inside of Sandy, and I wasn’t willing to bet on how long before Sandy would decide to let us smother.

  We started to vibrate, faster and faster, and then felt a hand grab my arm and tug. Tightened my hold on Gower, but whoever was pulling was stronger than me, because I couldn’t keep my arms locked.

  I sailed out of the giant ball of sand and into Jeff’s arms. “Ooof. Couldn’t you have tossed her a little less enthusiastically?” he asked Christopher, whose arm was back inside Sand Ball Sandy.

  “It’s hard to do this through Mahin’s control. Unless you’d like to give it a go,” Christopher snarked.

  Groom Lake was fairly circular. Home Base was located on the southern part, with low mountains opposite around the northern portion. There were roads all around it, some paved, some not, because this was an active airbase and people needed to get from one side to the other, and not all of those people were A-Cs. The bunker that had blown up had been on the northern side of the Lake.

  We were on the eastern side, happily far from both Home Base and the still-smoldering remains of said bunker, near a small outcropping of rocks that, because of the flatness of the Lake, seemed quite tall. So, happily, there was nothing nearby to hurt or damage other than all of us. Chose not to question my current definition of “happily.”

  The princesses were holding the ball steady. It appeared to be taking all their strength, which considering that those from Beta Twelve were stronger than A-Cs, meant Sandy was fighting back—hard. And yet, I hadn’t been able to tell when I was inside it.

  Mahin was clearly still concentrating with all her mental capacity and being held up by Buchanan. Chuckie and Tim were touching her. Got the distinct impression she was getting energy from the three of them. Hoped it wasn’t going to hurt them—Tito was here, but he and White looked like they’d already done the energy drain thing and were regaining their strength for the next round.

  “No thanks,” Jeff said to Christopher as he put me down. “You’re the fastest. You, stay,” he said to me in the stern voice he still somehow thought I obeyed. I only obeyed it in bed, or when he was telling me to do what I was going to do anyway, but apparently Jeff was Mr. Optimism. “Ready to catch Paul whenever you find him.”

  “I was holding onto him, I just couldn’t keep hold. But he’s fine,” I reassured Reader, who wasn’t looking any happier with me than
Jeff was, and who also looked like he’d taken his turn with Mahin. “Why are you shaking? Sandy wasn’t actually hurting us, I promise. Paul will be okay.”

  “Adrenaline shot,” Reader said. “In a vein, versus heart, so it’s not as bad as it could be.” Looked around. Yeah, White and Tito were both shaking, too. And Tito was prepping more syringes.

  Christopher grunted and Gower came flying out of the sand ball. I assumed I’d looked just like this—limbs askew, clothes disheveled, a giant fish being flung out of the sand ocean, complete with writhing. Only Gower was bald and I wasn’t—figured my hair was probably terrifying to look at right now. Made the executive decision not to look in a mirror.

  Jeff ran to catch Gower and thankfully White did as well, because it took both of them to catch him and not all go slamming into the ground.

  “Thanks,” Gower said, as they put him down. “Sandy wasn’t hurting us—”

  “So Kitty said,” Reader interrupted. “I’ll ask you what I know Jeff wants to ask her. What the hell were you thinking?”

  “I was thinking that I need to go mano-a-mano with Sandy because I think that’s what he’s expecting.”

  “I was thinking that was exactly what Kitty was going to do and that she shouldn’t,” Gower said. “So I went with her.” He shrugged. “I say again, Sandy wasn’t actually hurting us. At all.”

  “That’s true. So, is Mahin drawing energy from other people? And if so, how?”

  “Yes, she is,” Christopher replied. “I thought it would be a useful thing, to see if we could do it, so that in case we were in battle and no one could get adrenaline or whatever, that we could share energy. Hyperspeed works through touch, after all and Abigail and . . . Naomi used to do that all the time, essentially, and they were able to connect with me, Kitty, and Tito, as well as others. I figured, if they could do it, maybe we all could do it. So, Mahin and I have been working on that, since her talent is so externally focused.”

  We all stared at him.

  “What?” he asked, shooting us all Patented Glare #1.

  “I’m going to relish what I’m about to say. We’re all just shocked to hear anything like intelligence and thoughtfulness in terms of powers and training coming out of your mouth.”