Alien Collective

by Gini Koch

  “I feel chagrined that I didn’t realize that,” Oliver said.

  “You were busy negotiating to bring in our Public Enemy Number Five. I get why you all missed it, really.”

  Chernobog sniffed. “I should be higher than that.”

  “It took hours for her to admit to being Chernobog,” Adriana said, ignoring her. “Half the team shadowed her while the other half searched Home Base for proof. We had nothing to report for quite a while, but we didn’t want to be called off, either.”

  “Hence why you broke protocol and didn’t check in,” Jeff said in a resigned tone.

  “When did you make real contact?” Chuckie asked.

  “Early this morning,” Oliver replied. “The Home Base team was waiting in her office, and the Shadow team came in with her.” He chuckled. “And then the verbal gymnastics began. She’s quite good.”

  “She’s been hiding in plain sight for decades.”

  “Thank you, and I’m right here.”

  “And once he was there, Colonel Butler wouldn’t allow us to call anyone in,” Walter said, also ignoring Chernobog. “Ostensibly because it could cause her to shut down and not give us anything.”

  “See? And you’re at the correct slot at five,” I said to Chernobog. “So stop whining.”

  “Public Enemy Number Five?” Jeff asked. “Who are the first four?”

  “The Mastermind, his Apprentice, the new and not improved Leventhal Reid and LaRue Demorte Gaultier. Unless you have other people who should be up before Chernobog.”

  “No, no, that’s the right list. I just hadn’t thought of them like that.” Jeff ran his hand through his hair. “I may never sleep again, now that we’ve listed them out and given them numbers.”

  “Oh, poor baby. I think a non-exploded android is one for the win column, though.”

  “I don’t know how he fought the programming,” Chuckie said. “Or if we’ll be able to save him or not.”

  “I know. But I hope we can. He just seemed so . . . scared and horrified. He didn’t ask for this, I can guarantee that.”

  “Whether Cameron Maurer did will be the question.” Chuckie looked at Chernobog. “Nice to meet you. I’m the head of the C.I.A.’s Extra-Terrestrial Division. As such, that gives me unlimited approval to do whatever the hell I want to get back what you took from Centaurion and other government divisions.”

  “I’ll talk to her,” Chernobog pointed to me. “Not you.”

  Chuckie smiled the nasty, wolfish smile I knew he’d learned at the C.I.A. “Oh, that’s nice. I’ll be with her when you’re talking to her. And, in case you weren’t sure, I’m not the nice one.”

  “Neither am I, honestly. Look, Chernobog, we have requests. You’ll either meet every request, or I’ll let the C.I.A. do whatever to you and then tell the assassins where you are, so they get to finish the job.”

  She shrugged. “As you said, I’m an old woman. I’ve seen more than all of you put together. Your threats don’t scare me.”

  “Yeah? Let me give you a threat I’m fairly sure will. If you ever want to see your son alive again, you’ll cooperate.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “I have no son.”

  “Oh my God, we know you do, okay? And we have him. And you know it. Maybe you think that a changing of the political guard will mean he’s freed. But I’ll just tell the assassins where he is, and then let them in.”

  She looked a little less sure of herself. “You will not.”

  “Babe, we lost people we loved because of what you did. Loved. Close family members. Take a look, a good look, at the expressions on the faces of the people with me, and then ask yourself if you really think that at least one of us, let alone all of us, won’t say it’s more than okay to let your loser son die?”

  Chernobog sniffed. “It’s easy to threaten. Your government has laws.”

  “And I have Poofs.”

  On cue, Harlie, Poofikins, and Mous-Mous came out of my purse, and Fluffy and Naomi’s Poof, Cutie-Pie, jumped out of Chuckie’s pocket. All five went large and instantly in charge. They all roared at her. Chernobog gasped and stepped back.

  “Oh, did I forget to mention? You helped kill a Poof. One of their brethren. You helped kill two of the people they belonged to, too. They’re as pissed about everyone we lost as we are. Guess what? Poofs are carnivores. See those teeth? They will chew you up and not even spit you out. And they can get in where your loser son is and eat him up, too. Alive, I might add.”

  Had no doubt the Poofs would do this. They were still grieving Fuzzball’s loss, Cutie-Pie was grieving Naomi’s loss as well, they were all upset about Michael and Gladys as much as they were about Naomi and Fuzzball, and I didn’t like Chernobog, meaning they didn’t like Chernobog.

  Chernobog gaped, her eyes bugging out. Then she collapsed on the ground.

  CHAPTER 73

  FORTUNATELY, Tito was there, and down next to her in an instant.

  “Did you just kill her with terror?” Christopher asked.

  “She’s fainted, that’s all.” Tito looked up at me. “Apparently you’ve found her weakness, Kitty.”

  “Go me. No snack right now, Poofies. Back into Kitty’s purse and Chuckie’s pocket, please and thank you.”

  Got five booming purrs, then the Poofs went small. Harlie and Poofikins hopped back into my purse. Checked. They were curled up with a bunch of other Poofs. Well and good. Fluffy and Cutie-Pie jumped onto Chuckie’s shoulders, rubbed against him, and then went into his pocket.

  Mous-Mous, however, was still out. While Tito brought Chernobog around using smelling salts and much more gentle slaps to her face than I would have managed, I tried to see what the Poof was doing. Looking around, as near as I could tell.

  There were some shimmers, off in the near distance. Could be floater gates, could be dust devils forming, could be Sandy being a dust devil. Wasn’t sure. But the Poof was definitely looking where these shimmerings were.

  But, right when I was about to ask the Poof what was going on, it gave a satisfied snort, jumped up onto my shoulder, gave me a nuzzle and a purr, and joined the others in my purse.

  I still might have inquired about this—because there was more than one shimmering I’d seen, and if Sandy manifested using the stuff around him, then the likelihood of others like him doing the same was high. But Tito’s ministrations were working and Chernobog’s eyes opened. I’d table my shimmering questions for later, especially since there was nothing to see now and I didn’t relish being told I was crazy.

  Tito helped Chernobog sit up. “What . . . what were those things?”

  “Alien animals who don’t like you or the people you’re working with. Answers. Now.” While the Poofs and Peregrines were “outed” as aliens, we’d kept the fact that the Poofs had their Extra Large With A Side of Giant Teeth side hidden. So I knew Chernobog wasn’t faking her reactions, because the only people who weren’t on our side who’d seen the Poofs large were all dead.

  “Yes,” she said shakily. “I can retrieve the data taken, and no, your enemies don’t know where it is. I didn’t give it to them. I kept it in a safe place.”

  “Why?” Chuckie asked.

  She shrugged. “Leverage.” This checked out with my assumption, so that was good. “As for what was released into your main research facility, that was alien in nature.”

  “From Alpha Centauri?” Jeff asked.

  She shook her head as Tito helped her stand up. “No. I don’t know where it came from or how it was created, but my impression was that it’s from far away. My guess is it was created by the invaders.”

  “How did you release it?” Serene asked. She and Christopher both looked angry and upset, not that I could blame them.

  “Cloaked, time-released aerial bombs.”

  Serene went pale. “They used my designs.”

  Christopher put his arm around her. “This wasn’t your fault. At all.”

  “Can it be reversed?” Jeff asked, Commander Voice on Full.
/>   “Not that I know of. I didn’t create these. I didn’t set them, either. Your own people did that.”

  “No way—” Christopher started.

  “They were mind controlled,” I interrupted. “And I know which person set them, too. Gladys. She was the only one who would know exactly where to put them so that no one would detect them.” No wonder she’d killed herself once she knew Ronaldo Al Dejahl was dead. Living with the knowledge of what she’d done, unwillingly or not, would have killed her, only much more slowly and with so much more emotional pain.

  “Why didn’t she tell us?” White asked. “If she was the one who set them.”

  “Maybe she didn’t remember right away, or even at all. She said things were fuzzy when she was mind controlled.” Not that this made anything better.

  “I’ve told you what you want to know,” Chernobog said. “Now let me go.”

  “Oh, it is to laugh. Look at us, do we look to be in laughing moods? No, you owe us all the information on the people who hired you to hit us, and you need to actually give back what you stole. And then there are those two other things I mentioned. You do those, and then we may have an accord.”

  “What are the other things?” she asked suspiciously.

  “They’re dependent upon returning the data and giving us the intel on who hired you. They’re irrelevant if we don’t get that, because you’ll be dead and then these other parameters won’t matter.”

  She cocked her head at me. “You are of Russian descent?”

  “Maybe, back there somewhere.”

  She chuckled. “You have a Russian viewpoint. You would have done well in the KGB.” She looked at Adriana. “And you, you are KGB, aren’t you? Raised in the old ways.”

  Adriana shrugged. “My training isn’t the same as yours. I’m not on the side of people like you. But I do know what to do with people like you.”

  “And I know you already know what my people do with people like you when you’re not considered worth enough to trade,” Chuckie said. “I’m sure you think you’re going to get traded. But I mentioned that leeway I have? You aren’t going to be registered as our prisoner until we have everything we want. That means if you die, no one will actually know.”

  “And if they do trade you, let me mention those assassins after you again.”

  Chernobog sighed. “Fine. I am your prisoner. It would be helpful to have my laptop.”

  “We took it.” Of course, it was with the Dingo, but still, sort of in our possession.

  Tito opened his medical bag. “Yeah, we have it.” Managed not to ask him how he’d gotten it. Obviously the Dingo had given it to him. Why, was the question.

  “I asked that we hold the laptop while the agents helping us went to investigate the base,” White said. “So, yes, we do have the laptop.” Managed not to tell White he was the greatest, but it took effort.

  “Good. Then, you will take me somewhere and we will start in with your demands.”

  “I want her in the Embassy.”

  “What?” Jeff shouted. “Why?”

  “Because the hackers she’s going to be verifying every single keystroke with are there. Why else?”

  Jeff shook his head. “I know where this leads.”

  Rolled my eyes. “I’m not moving her in permanently or something.”

  Christopher sighed and made a call. “Hey, yeah. Situation under some form of control. Kitty wants the prisoner at the Embassy. Because it’s Kitty, why ask why? Yes, of course under heavy guard. Yes, because she wants our hackers watching closely. Yes. Yes.” He eyed Chernobog. “She looks harmless. Figure that means we need triple the number you just suggested. Yes, around the clock. Yeah, we’ll transport her there. Thanks.” He hung up.

  “How many agents are you going to be having watching Everyone’s Grandma here?”

  Chernobog snorted and Christopher shook his head. “At least a dozen, at all times. We’ll have some of our more computer-minded science staff there, too. That should pretty much fill up the fourth floor of the Zoo, by the way.”

  “The more the merrier. Who’s taking her back?”

  “I will,” Christopher said. “Home Base is safe and we can use the gates there.”

  “I’m going, too,” Serene said.

  Adriana stepped next to Chernobog. “I as well.”

  “Jeremy and Jennifer, you go, too,” Jeff said. “Walter as well. We need you back at your post.” He gave me the hairy eyeball. “Too many people have been sneaking in and out without someone paying attention.”

  “I’ll go too, in case she faints again.” Tito looked at Chernobog. “But in case you’re not sure, if they want to rough you up, I’m going to let them. So don’t give them any incentive. My friends died, too.”

  “When will you be coming?” Chernobog asked me.

  “In a while. Why? You’re not exactly safer if I’m there.”

  “You have honor. You tried to save the colonel when everyone else ran, and not for his information, but for him. I’d have run sooner than you had the others go, if I’d been able. But you tried to save him. I would like to think that, if things work out right, you would also try to save me.”

  Stepped closer to her. “Perhaps. There are a lot of marks against you in my book. If you do everything we want without trying to screw or double-cross us? Then yeah, I’ll save you from the certain death hunting you.”

  “You said assassins. Many have tried.” She shrugged. “None have succeeded.”

  “Got two words for you: the Dingo.”

  Thought she was going to faint again. “But . . . they promised . . .”

  “That they’d never send the top assassin in the world after you? Well, guess what? They lied. He’s coming for you and I’m the only one who can stop him. And you have a lot to do in order for me to have a prayer of stopping him. So, my recommendation is for you to get busy, because time’s a’wastin’.”

  She nodded. “If what you say is true, if . . . he . . . is after me, then I’ll need your help. And I’ll do as you ask.”

  Chuckie handcuffed her, gave Christopher the key, and then the team escorting Chernobog back left.

  “Now,” Chuckie said nicely to Oliver, Len, and Kyle, “why don’t you three tell us just what’s really going on with Colonel Hamlin?”

  CHAPTER 74

  “HOW DID YOU FIND OUT about that?” I asked Chuckie before the others could respond.

  “Your mother tends to share important information with me. A lot sooner than you do.”

  “So bitter. So, MJO, can I guess and you tell me where I’m wrong?”

  “If it makes you happy.”

  “Oh, I’m sure it will. You’ve been hunting for Colonel Hamlin and you found him. You’ve helped him set up his carrier pigeon network, and you’re his eyes and ears, and he’s also yours. He trusts you because he’s had to. But on days like today that trust is quite valuable. He told you what was going on with the bombs, you got the note to Colonel Franklin, leaked the information to the media, and then he sent you after Chernobog, or maybe even to check out Butler.”

  “I didn’t leak anything. I filed a report that was instantly picked up by all the other news outlets.”

  “Go you Mister Joel In The Know. Nice to have some respect?”

  “It’s pleasant but sometimes complicated things. However, Hammy sent us to investigate issues at Home Base. That Colonel Butler was an android and his secretary was Chernobog weren’t told to us. His information was more along the lines of something has to be wrong at the top there, and you need to figure out what.”

  “Adriana was the one who suspected that Missus Darnell was Chernobog,” Len said.

  “I’d like to know how you found Hamlin,” Chuckie said.

  Oliver shook his head. “He has my trust and I have his. I won’t tell you and, since I’m not a war criminal and am a journalist, I’m going to hold with protecting my sources.”

  Chuckie sighed. “I don’t want to hurt him. We want to protect him
.”

  “He’s doing better on his own,” Oliver said. “That’s not an insult. However, he’s aware that Mister Buchanan was attacked shortly after they parted, and Hammy’s not willing to risk it, or put someone else in danger.” Oliver shot me a quick look. Had a feeling there was more to why Hamlin didn’t want us knowing where he was, but I’d have to get it from Oliver later, when we were alone.

  “Well, we still don’t know for sure that Malcolm was attacked because of being with Colonel Hamlin. But anyway, when you talk to him next, say hi for me, and thank him for letting us know there’s a Mastermind.”

  “Now what?” White asked.

  Jeff’s phone rang before any of us could reply. “Yeah, James? Oh. Good. Really? Yeah, she’ll be glad. Keep him under guard. Yeah, I agree. Glad we can sleep at home then. Yes, I’m sure we’ll be back in D.C. soon. Oh, really? Maybe we’ll have lunch out here, then.” He laughed. “Yeah, actually, you were all this big a pain when I was Head of Field. It’s your turn now, enjoy it.” He hung up.

  “What’s up with James?”

  “Colonel Butler is stable. Still in stasis, but the team feels confident they can safely keep him from self-destructing until we get our data back and can then figure out how to keep him from exploding, permanently. But because he’s explosive, he’s being kept in one of the prisoner cells on the fifteenth floor of the Science Center.”

  “Well then, I’m happy we’ll be in the Embassy tonight, too. You want to get lunch somewhere? We could gate it over to Pueblo Caliente and hit one of our old faves.”

  “Jeffrey really can’t be seen to have been making a presidential announcement in Washington at eleven eastern and then appear in Arizona at eleven pacific,” White pointed out. “I think that would create issues we’d all rather avoid.”

  “Wise man takes all the excitement out of life.”

  “It’s my gift, Missus Martini.”

  “Seriously, it’s not even noon here yet?” Jeff asked. “I feel like we’ve already been up for twenty-four hours today.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean.” Chuckie rubbed the back of his neck. “What else can possibly happen today?”