Family Thang

by James Henderson

  Ruth Ann, a few feet away from the door, rubbing her hands together, didn’t look as if she could sit if she wanted to.

  “Mrs. Hawkins,” Sheriff Bledsoe said, “I want you to call your husband and tell him to get down here. If you don’t, I will.”

  Ruth Ann grimaced. “I can’t. I just can’t, Sheriff.”

  “Goodness, Ruth Ann,” Shirley said. “No need to get all upset. Sheriff Bledsoe, why you need Lester? What’s going on?”

  “You might want to lock me up now, Sheriff,” Eric said. “Please!”

  “Everybody just relax, okay!” Sheriff Bledsoe said. “Why don’t we all sit down and sort this thing out.” He pulled up two chairs. “I’m sure we can figure this out without a buncha hysterics. Come on, everybody take a seat.”

  Ruth Ann took a step backward.

  “Fine with me,” Eric said. “I prefer to sit in a locked cell. You know what I mean, Sheriff?”

  Shirley said, “You keep asking to be locked up. Why? The hell wrong with you?”

  “Temporary confinement calms my nerves.”

  Shirley took a seat. “Will someone tell me what the hell is going on here?”

  “Miss Harris,” Sheriff Bledsoe said, “Eric and…” Should he tell her? Eric was staring at him, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t be the one telling you… If your sister and your boyfriend won’t, I will.” He looked over at Ruth Ann; she’d moved closer to the door. “Don’t leave!”

  Eric went into the cell and tried to pull the bars closed. “How do you lock this thing, Sheriff?”

  “Miss Harris,” Sheriff Bledsoe said, “today, two hours ago, I observed your boyfriend, Eric Barnes, at—”

  “Ohhhhhhhh!” Ruth Ann cried, clutching her chest. “Ohhhh!” She swooned side to side. “My heart! Ohhhh!” She swayed forward, almost falling to the floor. “Ohhhhh!” and stumbled across the room holding her chest and fell backward onto a desk.

  No such luck in the world, Sheriff Bledsoe thought.

  “Oh my God!” Shirley shouted, running over to Ruth Ann. “Ruth Ann’s having a heart attack!”

  “No, she is not,” Sheriff Bledsoe said.

  Shirley leaned over and put an ear to Ruth Ann’s chest, listened for a second, rose up and—Whop!—both hands clutched together, down on Ruth Ann’s sternum. She listened again, got up and—Whop! Another quick listen… another Whop!

  Shirley found her rhythm: Whop! Whop! Whop! Whop! Whop!

  “Hey!” Sheriff Bledsoe shouted. “Don’t do that!”

  Again Shirley hammered Ruth Ann. Whop! This time Ruth Ann grunted, “Uhhhh!”

  Whop! “Uhhhh!” Whop! “Uhhhh!” Whop! “Uhhhh!” Whop! “Uhhhh!”

  Shirley stopped and laid her head on Ruth Ann’s chest. “I hear it,” she declared. “It’s pumping too fast now. Gotta slow it down.” Whop! Whop! Whop!

  “Sheriff!… Sheriff!” Eric grunted, his body suspended perpendicular against the bars, each limb pushing or pulling. “Would you please lock this damn cell! Please!”

  “Call an ambulance,” Shirley said, and whopped Ruth Ann again.

  “Stop before you seriously hurt her,” Sheriff Bledsoe said. “She’s not having a heart attack.”

  “Call a goddamn ambulance!” Shirley shouted with such intensity and authority that Sheriff Bledsoe quickly reached for the phone.

  Chapter 19

  “Shane didn’t want to come back with me,” Leonard told his mother. “He said he wanted to stay up there a little while longer.”

  “How did he look?”

  “He looked great. Just great.”

  “He wasn’t hungry, was he?”

  “No, Mother.”

  “Maybe you should take him more food. A growing boy needs to keep his weight up. I’ll cook something that’ll keep for a long time. You can take it to him.” She let him digest that before adding: “If you don’t mind?”

  “No, Mother, I don’t mind at all.” He hoped she wouldn’t go through too much trouble because whatever she cooked was going into the first trash can he saw. He was not going in the woods again.

  “Your dinner is in the microwave. A pumpkin pie in the refrigerator.”

  “Pumpkin pie,” already tasting it. “Mother, you shouldn’t have.”

  “Save a piece for Shane, okay?” Ida said, leaving the kitchen.

  Leonard washed his hands in the sink, took a paper towel-wrapped plate out of the microwave and put it on the table. This was his reward for fearlessly confronting jungle boy. And in the process, he thought, I’ve lost the love of my life.

  He’d gone to the Greyhound bus stop in town, the regional airport in Lake Village, and then back to the motel. No sign of Victor. He’s gone forever! He shook the thought.

  After blessing the food, he removed the paper towel and froze, staring at green beans, mashed potatoes, two dinner rolls and a steaming heap of boiled neck bones. Leonard swallowed hard.

  Had he angered his mother? If he did he couldn’t remember doing so. Even if he’d done something to upset her, it couldn’t have been egregious enough for her to spike the neck bones. Could it? He picked up a neck bone with a fork. This is silly, he chided himself. His mother wouldn’t poison him.

  He sniffed the neck bone. Arsenic, he remembered reading, didn’t have a smell or taste. If Kenny G were afoot, he would have him… He remembered Kenny G whining and howling as his owner was wheeled into the ambulance. He’d thought the poor dog was expressing grief, but then Kenny G threw up and keeled over, his little legs sticking straight up.

  The phone on the wall rang. Leonard ignored it, got up, dumped the food and the plate into the trash can and covered it with newspaper. He was headed for the pumpkin pie when he heard a scream. He ran and almost collided with Ida, also running, in the hallway.

  “What’s the matter, Mother?”

  “Come on, Leonard, we gotta go! Ruth Ann had a heart attack!”

  * * *

  Shirley, Lester, Eric, and Robert Earl and Estafay were all sitting in the emergency waiting room when Leonard and Ida arrived at the hospital.

  “How is she?” Ida asked no one in particular.

  “We don’t know yet,” Shirley said. “The doctor hasn’t come out and told us anything. I’m going to give them a few minutes, then I’m going back there to see what’s going on.”

  Robert Earl and his wife, her face hidden behind a large Bible, were sitting apart from everyone else. Robert Earl, wearing his usual blue jean overalls, slumped in his chair, clamped hands resting on his large stomach, one finger tapping a knuckle, as if he were waiting for his car in the shop.

  One look at Eric and Leonard thought he might be high on drugs. His legs were shaking and he didn’t seem to know where to put his hands as he swiveled his head back and forth from Shirley to the double doors leading into the emergency room. Shirley appeared on the verge of a nervous breakdown, red eyes, uncombed hair poking up like weeds.

  Lester, sitting to Shirley’s left, rested his head between his knees.

  “What happened, Lester?” Leonard asked.

  Lester raised his head a bit. “I’m not sure… I think she had a heart attack.”

  Leonard patted his back. “She’ll be all right, Lester. Ruth Ann’s a fighter.”

  Shirley said, “Ruth Ann, Eric and me, we’re at the police station and Ruth Ann just standing there, looking the picture of health. All a sudden—Kabookie!” Clapped her hands. “Ruth Ann let out a hoot and holler, and I looked up and she was lying on a desk. I swear, it scared the living daylights out of me. I checked her heart, didn’t hear anything, so I started emergency CPR. Almost lost her right then and there.”

  “Why were y’all at the police station?”

  Shirley rolled her eyes at Eric. “Somebody got arrested.”

  “Why was Ruth Ann there?”

  Eric abruptly stood up. “Where’s the john around here?”

  Robert Earl pointed to an exit. “Through there and to the left. You better get your own tissue�
�they out.” Eric hurried out the door.

  “Butthead got himself arrested again,” Shirley said. “Ruth Ann gave me a ride.”

  “Mercy!” Ida exclaimed and plopped down in the chair beside Lester. “This is all my fault, all my fault!”

  “It’s not your fault, Mother,” Leonard said. “Ruth Ann’s going to be all right.”

  “Lester,” Robert Earl shouted across the room, “you and Ruth Ann have insurance, don’t you?”

  Lester gave Robert Earl a bewildered look.

  “Robert Earl,” Shirley said, “that’s a helluva thing to ask at a time like this. Who called you, anyway?”

  “Nobody. I heard it on my police scanner. I know things before the police do. Lester, I sure hope you have burial insurance. Burials are pretty expensive nowadays. Ruth Ann might make it, she might not. Either way you gotta be prepared. Estafay and I are strapped right now so we won’t be able to contribute to nothing. Speaking of strapped, Momma, what’s going on with the money? You oughta see if the man will give us a little bit.”

  Ida covered her face with a hand and shook her head.

  “Shut the hell up, Robert Earl!” Shirley said.

  “We’ve got insurance,” Lester said. “I just… want my wife back… alive.” He buried his head between his knees and bawled.

  “Contain yourself, man,” Robert Earl said. “Ain’t nobody said she dead yet. She might make it. I hope she didn’t go too long without getting oxygen to her head. If she did she’ll be a veggie. I wouldn’t blame you not wanting a veggie rotting up the house, attracting a bunch of flies with them big diapers.”

  Lester’s sobs increased in pitch and volume.

  Leonard said, “Somebody oughta cut the oxygen off to your head.”

  “A good idea,” Shirley said. “He keeps talking crazy, Leonard, you and I take him outside, see how long he can hold his breath.”

  “Momma,” Robert Earl said, “you hear em, don’t you? They talking about choking me again.”

  “Shut up, already!” Shirley shouted at him.

  Sheriff Bledsoe and an Asian man wearing surgery scrubs came through the double doors.

  “How is she?” Shirley and Lester asked at once.

  “She’s fine, just fine,” the man said. “Too much stress. Stress not good, causes anxiety attacks. Tomorrow she go home, back to old self, live happily ever after.”

  “Could you explain it in English?” Robert Earl said.

  The man laughed. “You comedienne in the family? You very funny. Very funny, indeed.” He left the room.

  Eric came back.

  “She’s all right,” Sheriff Bledsoe said. “A case of nerves, I suspect.”

  “Thank you, Jesus!” Ida said.

  “Can I go see her?” Lester said.

  “I guess,” Sheriff Bledsoe said. Lester started for the doors. “Say, Lester…”

  Lester stopped. “What?”

  “Never mind. It can wait.”

  “What about me, Sheriff?” Eric asked.

  “What about you?”

  “Can I go now?”

  Shirley said, “C’mon, Sheriff. This family has suffered enough. Let him go home tonight. It’s Friday. You’ll have to spend the weekend at the jail watching him. Let him go and I promise you he’ll be there bright and early Monday morning.”

  Sheriff Bledsoe inhaled loudly through his nose. “Okay, Eric, you can go. Now everybody listen up. Here’s what I’m gonna do.”

  He paused and gave them each a hard look. “Since this investigation has turned into a circus, I’m requesting each and every one of you come in this weekend, Saturday or Sunday, and submit a polygraph test. If you don’t I’ll come looking for you. One of you tell Lester and Ruth Ann when she starts feeling better, which should be in a few minutes.” He scanned their faces. “Does everybody understand?”

  “Can I go first?” Robert Earl asked.

  “It doesn’t matter who’s first. Just show up.”

  “I’ll be there,” Shirley said.

  “Me, too,” Leonard said.

  “I’ll go after Shirley goes,” Eric said.

  “I already told you I did it,” Ida said.

  “Yes, you did,” Sheriff Bledsoe said, and walked away.

  “What’s eating him?” Leonard asked.

  “He’s either hungry or he’s gassy,” Robert Earl said. “Didn’t you hear his stomach? Sound like a diesel engine low on oil. He better put something in or let something out before he blows a rod.”

  “Robert Earl,” Shirley said, “where’s your teeth?”

  Robert Earl covered his mouth with both hands.

  “They’re in the shop,” Estafay said from behind the Bible.

  “The pawnshop,” Shirley said, laughing. Eric laughed, too.

  “Leave my son alone,” Ida said, a chuckle in her voice.

  Leonard didn’t crack a smile, staring at Estafay, head to toe dressed in white. White scarf wrapped tightly around her head. White short-sleeve dress, frayed at the edges. White stockings, a long run along her right calf. White nurse’s shoes, the rubber instep missing on the left. Her long, pallid fingers held the Bible in a death grip.

  She wasn’t reading, she was hiding. Perhaps she was uncomfortably shy amongst her husband’s family; they were prone to crude jokes. Or she… Estafay hadn’t uttered a word when Sheriff Bledsoe requested everyone come in for a polygraph test.

  The Bible slid down and Estafay’s eyes met his. She’d sensed him staring at her. Leonard shuddered. Something… something cold… in her eyes, which looked out of alignment, one higher than the other. She held his stare for a moment more and then slid the Bible back up. Leonard exhaled, not aware he’d been holding his breath.

  Chapter 20

  Ruth Ann lay in her own bed with her favorite bed partner at her side, Teddy. Despite looking into the eyes of death not fifteen hours ago, she’d never felt better. Now she knew how Lazarus must have felt after awakening and not finding himself hosting earthworms: exhilarated.

  Not only was she alive and kicking, she didn’t have a bruise on her body. Not even a scratch. No small miracle, considering the possibilities.

  She remembered her promise to The Man Upstairs.

  It can wait.

  After all, she didn’t say when she would start living a righteous life; she’d said she would, which, of course, meant sometime in the near distant future.

  Lester entered the room carrying an antique silver breakfast tray. Toast, sausage, scrambled eggs and orange juice.

  “Are you hungry?” Lester asked. She nodded and Lester placed the tray on the bed. “Good. I’ve cooked a little something to build up your strength.” She reached for the fork and Lester playfully slapped her hand. “No, I’ll feed you.”

  What on earth, Ruth Ann wondered, made me think I could live without this man? So what the skin around his mouth looked like the onset of vitiligo. The man loved her. She could search the world and never again find a man who truly loved her as Lester did.

  Lester fed her small bits of runny eggs, half-cooked sausage and burnt toast and waited patiently as she chewed.

  “I need to get out of this bed,” Ruth Ann said between bites. “I need to get up and clean this house.”

  “No way, honey. The doctor said you need your rest.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Let me take care of you.”

  “Lester, you have to go to work.”

  “I’ve got it covered. Valerie is coming over when I go to work this evening. She promised me she’ll keep an eye on you when I’m gone.”

  “What!” Ruth Ann shouted, bits of eggs flying out of her mouth. “Valerie! Lester, you know how your sister feels about me. I don’t want her in my house! You know I don’t!”

  “Honey, she’s not moving in. She’ll look on you while I’m at work.”

  “Hmmph! She’ll come in here and press a pillow over my head. You tell her keep her malnourished, crack-smoking ass away from me.”

  “We’ll
see,” and stuck a spoonful of eggs in her mouth before she could respond.

  Ruth Ann chewed quickly and said, “I don’t want her in my house, Lester. I’m sick. I shouldn’t be forced to deal with someone I can’t stand. Around you she pretends she likes me—you and I both know she does not. I don’t want her in my house, Lester. I mean it!”

  “I’ll call her and tell her not to come.” He picked up the tray and started out. “I guess you don’t want my mother here, either. She’s on her way right now.”

  “What! Bebe? In my house?” Maybe I should have died. She absolutely loathed Bebe.

  “Yes,” Lester said.

  “The same Bebe who stood up in church and called me a whore on Easter Sunday? You’re telling me she’s coming to my house! You forgot what happened the last time she was here? She and I got into a fight, the state police came out and we paid a plumber five hundred dollars to unclog her cheap wig out of the septic tank. Hello? Yo momma psychodrama escaped your memory?”

  “Ruthie, honey, she’s concerned, willing to lend a hand.”

  “Ha! Please! She thinks I’m suffering, wants to hear me wailing.”

  “A mean thing to say, Ruthie. I need someone to watch you while I step out for a few minutes.”

  “I can look after myself. I don’t need a gap-toothed buzzard gawking at me, hoping I croak. Where are you trying to run off while I’m here dying?”

  “Sheriff Bledsoe requested I come in for a lie-detector test.” Ruth Ann’s jaw dropped. “Momma said she’d be glad to watch you while I’m gone. What happened between you and her was three years ago. She’s not thinking about it. You oughta give her a chance, Ruthie. Let bygones be bygones.”

  “You… you talked to Sheriff Bledsoe? You and he talked? About what? What did he say?”

  “I didn’t talk to him. Shirley told me he requested everyone at the hospital come in this weekend and take a lie-detector test. I figured to go get it over with so I can come back and look after you.”

  “Lester, you weren’t there… at the barbecue. You weren’t in any way connected to what happened.”