One Bite Stand

by Nina Bangs

  “Oh, maybe because he’s a guy who likes to make his own decisions, or because he’s into one-night stands, not multiple love sessions with the same woman.” Fine, so that last one might not be true. He’d admitted he wanted her again. There. She’d found a kernel of joy in an otherwise depressing cornfield.

  “Hmm.” Sparkle was making heavy-thinking sounds.

  Not good.

  “Forget about that stupid list and whatever else you’re worrying about. We have important stuff to do.”

  “Um, more important than saving the universe from a megalomaniac werewolf and a giant snake? We’re talking an end-of-life-as-we-know-it scenario here.” Just in case the universe didn’t end on the summer solstice, though, Daria had given Walt the names of Declan’s children to research. She hadn’t gotten too far on her own.

  “Hello? We are not on the same page, sister. Wake up and smell the possibilities for tonight, because that’s all that matters right now. I’ve lived thousands of years, and I’ve seen civilization hanging by a thread lots of times. But people kept on having sex, and civilization kept on kicking butt. So let’s plan for a night of erotic fun after you get done with all the bad stuff.”

  “And this wouldn’t have anything to do with your winning the bet?”

  Sparkle widened her eyes in a credible imitation of shock and hurt. “This is all about you. I mean, what if you only have a few more days to exist? Doesn’t it make sense to spend those days with a hot vampire? I know I’ll be spending my final days surrounded by the things I love—my shoes, my nail colors, and my sex toys.”

  “Not Mede?”

  “He’s taken himself out of my personal toy box.” But for all her flip retort, real pain showed in Sparkle’s eyes.

  Sparkle had one thing right. If Fenrir was still in business by the summer solstice, Daria wanted to be close to those she loved: Mom, Kal, and… Okay, she’d thought about adding Declan to her list. He wasn’t a positive yet, but she’d definitely like to have him nearby if the end came.

  “I bet you haven’t eaten anything tonight. Breakfast is over and Katie’s already left. Let’s go into the kitchen so you can at least get some coffee and cereal to keep your energy high.” Sparkle’s sly smile hinted that Daria would need it for her night of sexual excess.

  Rather than wasting her time arguing with Sparkle, Daria followed the empress of erotic energy to the kitchen.

  Where she stopped in the doorway to stare.

  Ganymede was on the counter curled up in the middle of a giant salad bowl filled with… jellybeans?

  Sparkle sighed. “That’s not smart, Mede. Any of the guests could walk in. They’d probably complain to Katie. Paying customers tend to go all health conscious about cats in their food. And, well, you know Katie gets homicidal when you camp out in her bowls.”

  “Hi.” Daria gave Ganymede a finger wave. “Uh, maybe it’s just me, but it almost looks like you’re sleeping in a bowl of jellybeans.” And this was Declan’s partner? The one he was counting on to have his back? Hoo boy.

  Ganymede stared at her. His eyes were in cat mode, all mysterious and inscrutable. “Jellybeans are my meditation candy. When I surround my body with their vibrant colors and softly curved surfaces, I’m transported to another plane. Notice I’m not even talking like Ganymede right now. He’d never use wimpy words like vibrant and softly. Once on this higher plane, I can see the solutions to all life’s problems. Uhmmm, uhmmm, uhmmm.”

  “That’s ridiculous.” Oops. Daria hadn’t meant to insult the lord of loony logic. Fine, so she had.

  “Not really. What’s ridiculous is when he tries this in human form. Do you have any idea how many jellybeans it takes to fill a bathtub?” Sparkle was busy pouring two cups of coffee. “I love that you can always get a cup of coffee here.”

  “But jellybeans?”

  “Designer jellybeans. There’s a difference.” Sparkle brought the coffee to the table along with a box of doughnuts.

  Daria concentrated on stirring sugar into her coffee. Sparkle was many things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. Daria didn’t know how deeply Sparkle’s emotions ran for Ganymede, but they’d obviously known each other a long time. Love blinded a person to so many things.

  Time for some honest inner dialogue. Am I putting my whole career in jeopardy because I really want to save the universe or because I really want to save Declan Mackenzie? The jury was still out on that one.

  Will I be totally bummed if Sparkle wins the bet tonight? Sure, Daria knew that ugly was the harpy rallying cry, but more and more she wanted to look like… like Eris. The superbitch had it all. She was gorgeous. Every male at the inn was probably tripping over his tongue. And the cause of Daria’s image crisis? Declan Mackenzie.

  When will I have the courage to tell Kal I don’t want his magical intervention while we’re here? Kal. She had to let him know what was happening. Not a chat she was looking forward to, but he deserved her honesty. He’d always been up-front with her.

  “Now let’s talk about the outfit you have on.” Sparkle held her coffee cup to her lips while she stared at Daria from narrowed eyes. “As cute and sexy as those jeans and top are, I seem to remember you wearing the same thing last night. And I won’t even comment on those shoes. I’m sure I didn’t put them in your closet.”

  “What?” Daria blinked.

  “How about that delicious gold dress with the Manolo Blahnik sandals? High heels make a woman’s legs sing.”

  “I can’t run in heels that high. And the dress would get ripped to shreds if I had to change suddenly.” But that outfit might make Declan into her own personal ball of putty. She knew exactly what shape she’d mold.

  The old Daria would have sneered at Sparkle’s efforts to make her sexy. The new Daria thought she’d go to her room and change as soon as she finished her coffee and doughnut.

  “Holy shit, I’ve got it.” Ganymede leaped from the bowl a second before every jellybean vanished. He looked around. “Doesn’t that guy ever sleep?”

  Sparkle looked ticked. “We’re talking important fashion issues here, Mede. Be quiet.”

  “Sorry, babe, but this is life-and-death stuff.” He jumped onto the table. “I’ve got a plan for getting rid of Fenrir.”

  Daria didn’t know how reliable any plan would be that came from someone who meditated in a bowl of jellybeans.

  “Here’s the plan. Daria snatches Fenrir and carries him to Tartarus.”

  Daria waited for elaboration. Silence. “That’s it? Did I miss the part where an army of kick-ass mercenaries helps Daria take out the big bad?”

  “Hey, I’m not into details. I just come up with the winning concepts.” Bounding from the table, he padded to the door. “I’ll find Declan and fill him in.”

  Sparkle watched him leave. “Ganymede is such an all-powerful kind of guy, he forgets the rest of us have limitations.” She frowned. “Wait. I can stop being his cheerleading squad of one. It’s over. I don’t have to think he’s great anymore.”

  “Yeah, well—”

  Sparkle looked determined to turn in her pom-poms. “Let’s have a girl-to-girl chat about men and sex.”

  “You know, I really have to get some things done. Ganymede hired me to—”

  “Keep me amused.” Sparkle’s laughter brimmed with suppressed excitement. “Ganymede knew I’d get bored if I didn’t have a sexual challenge going on, so he chose you to be that challenge. I mean, who else but me could hook a harpy up with a hot and happening vampire who only wants a woman for his personal happy hour? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. An hour of sizzling sex could energize even the dreariest person.” She cast Daria a pointed stare.

  Daria looked for something to break. Sparkle’s head was out. Too hard. “What if your victims don’t want to hook up with anyone?”

  “Never happens.” Sparkle had on her business face. “Everyone wants someone, even if they don’t know it.”

  “I didn’t.” I do now.

  “E
specially you.” Sparkle looked exasperated. “For a smart woman, you take a long time to get the point. You do not want a harpy mate. You do want Declan. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

  “I —”

  “You do not want to be ugly, even if you think that’s what you want. You just want to please your mom and fit in with the rest of Harpyville; ergo you have to turn yourself into a disgusting mess.”

  “How did you know about—”

  “I know lots of things, sister. When I accept a challenge, I find out everything about my—”

  “Victim?”

  Sparkle shrugged. “Whatever.”

  “And your point to all this is?”

  “Forget about your stupid test and give yourself permission to indulge your sensual nature. You have the rest of your existence to be a heartless and hideous predator. Oh, and just for your info, you’re not doing too well on the heartless part.”

  Daria wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of agreeing. “How’d you find out about my test?”

  Sparkle sighed. “What part of I-find-out-everything wasn’t clear?”

  Confused, Daria tried to think of a way to refute what Sparkle had said. But you couldn’t refute the truth. Her thinking ended when Eris rushed into the kitchen.

  “I won’t take it anymore. You can’t keep me like this, you stupid whore.”

  Sparkle glanced at Daria. “Does the woman know how to stroke my ego, or what?”

  Eris bounced up and down while big fat tears rolled down her face. Of course, she looked adorable. “No one takes me seriously now. I told this jerk that I was hauling his butt to Tartarus for a personal interview with Hades, and he laughed. At me! Then he pinched my ass.” She yanked at her hair, but it fell right back into place. “So then I broke his nose.” Satisfaction glimmered in her tear-filled eyes.

  Sparkle frowned. “Did he mention his lawyer?”

  “Change me back to what I was.” Eris punctuated her demand with a kick to the table leg.

  Sparkled watched coffee slosh out of her cup. “Uh… let me think.” She grinned. “No.”

  “Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.” If harpies could foam at the mouth, Eris would be the soapsuds queen.

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” Sparkle beamed. “So few people recognize my true nature.”

  Practically vibrating with frustrated rage, Eris turned her fury on Daria. “And don’t think just because I look like this I’ll let you carry off the biggest prize, cow.”

  “Cow?” Daria raised one brow.

  Eris was on a roll. “Your mother might be one of the three most powerful harpies, but she’s nothing but a cheap slut for spreading her legs for Apollo. You and your twin will never be accepted no matter how hard you try because of who spawned you.”

  Daria shook her head. “See, now you made me mad.” She punched Eris in the stomach.

  The other harpy sat down hard, clutching her stomach as she gasped for air.

  “I wanted to break your nose or loosen a few teeth, but you would’ve liked the way it messed up your face. So I had to go for the next best thing. This way you have to listen to me talk while you make all those wheezing noises.”

  Sparkle clapped her hands. “This is so cool. I haven’t had this much fun since I hooked up two demon sisters with the same troll. They fought like cats over that guy. Never understood why. Trolls have zero sensuality.”

  Eris’s face was bright red as she tried to suck in some air.

  Daria bent over so she was almost nose-to-nose with the other harpy. “I don’t care who you carry off. Just. Stay. Out. Of. My. Way.”

  Eris scooted away from Daria and then scrambled to her feet. She dove for the door, where she paused, evidently reclaiming her courage now that she was close to escape. “You’ll both be sorry. I’ll fly away from this place with an entity so powerful, Hades won’t even notice what you drag in, Daria.”

  “More powerful than Declan and the werelion? Hey, you impressed me like crazy with those two.” Daria knew she shouldn’t be goading Eris. The harpy was a vicious enemy. But Eris was so much fun to goad, and Daria needed some fun in her life.

  Eris shifted her anger to Sparkle. “And you’d better write a will leaving all your shitty shoes to that stupid cat, because I’m asking Mom to take care of you. There won’t be enough of you left to fill a dustpan once she sees what you did to me.” Her eyes had a feverish gleam.

  “Bring her on, sister.” Sparkle glanced at her watch. She didn’t look freaked out at the thought of Aello descending on the Woo Woo Inn. “As entertaining as this conversation is, I’m late for my sensitivity session.” She grabbed Daria’s hand. “Come with me. I’m not done talking to you.” Her gaze flicked over Eris, and then returned. “You’re invited too. It’s been a long time since I met anyone who needed my session more. Probably Vlad the Impaler was a little lower on the sensitivity scale, but not by much.”

  Sparkle swept past Eris, dragging Daria along with her. They left Eris growling and snarling behind them.

  “I don’t know how powerful you are, Sparkle, but just a friendly warning. Aello is as mean as they come, and she’ll be ready to tear this place apart when she gets a look at her daughter. She isn’t someone you want to face alone.”

  Sparkle guided her toward the library. “Alone? Why would I do that? Mede will be with me.” She blinked. “Oops. I forgot.” She got that sad look again.

  Ganymede would have to spend maxi-minutes in his empty jellybean bowl to come up with a solution to the trouble that followed a visit from Aello. Only Mom and Ocypete were her equals in power.

  Relieved, Daria saw Declan and Ganymede standing by the registration desk. She let Sparkle pull her over to them.

  Declan watched Daria approach and then glanced away. He knew his eyes had that hungry-wolf look. Not a good thing. Before meeting Daria, he’d had a handle on who he was—a cold, passionless bastard who only came alive when something or someone engaged his senses. It wasn’t a great way to live, but he got a certain comfort from the centuries-long sameness of it’ all. But now she’d kick-started his emotions in a big way. His passion was alive and laying waste to his self-image.

  “Yo, babe, talk some sense into the bloodsucker here. He’s not buying into my plan.” Ganymede curled his body around Sparkle’s legs.

  “Don’t ever call me babe again. You don’t have the right anymore.” Sparkle’s emotions were bubbling dangerously close to the surface.

  “Leave Sparkle and Daria out of this, cat. You know, I’ve heard a bunch of stuff about your supposed power. The word is that not many entities can stand up to you. So where was that power back at the church? From your rep, I expected a little more flash-and-boom. All you did was crouch inside your safety bubble and kick up a little dirt around the werewolf. And now you’re passing the job to someone who’s a lot less powerful than you.” Fear fueled Declan’s anger.

  “A lot less powerful? I have my moments.” Daria looked semi-insulted.

  Ganymede’s tail whipped back and forth. “I already told you I’m not allowed to kill Fenrir. The Big Boss is the man, and when I hit his radar because I was breaking too many of his stupid rules, he clipped my wings.”

  Daria winced.

  “That means the best I can do is slow the wolf down. Sorry.”

  Wow, Declan was impressed. He wondered if anyone else had ever heard Ganymede apologize. So no help from Ganymede. He forced himself to meet Daria’s gaze. “There’s no way I’ll let you try to carry Fenrir off.” A second after he said it, he knew he’d made a mistake,

  “Let me?” Daria’s anger skewered him. “Last time I looked, I had this thing called free will. That means I can do whatever I want.”

  He stomped on his temper long enough to try a little logic. “You felt Fenrir’s power. Do you really think you can just swoop down and carry him off?”

  A smile tugged at her lips. “No. But telling a harpy she can’t do something is a guarantee she’ll want to do that
exact thing. It’s part of our genetic makeup.”

  “I hate to say you’re wrong, Mede, because I know how upset you get when someone tells you that, but you’re wrong. No way can Daria handle Fenrir.” Sparkle’s smile said, “You’re wrong, wrong, wrong, and I love saying it.”

  Ganymede hissed.

  “I can if I get some help. In harpy form, I’ve got the strength to pick him up and carry him away.” Daria glanced at Declan.

  Sparkle sighed. “It’ll take more than just strength. Unless he’s unconscious, he’ll hit you with so much power, you’ll be nothing more than feathers floating in the breeze.”

  She’d need help. Declan fought past an unfamiliar protective instinct to string a few thoughts together. “Here’s what we need: more nonhumans to fight Fenrir and his cronies, along with a way to disable him so Daria can take him to Tartarus. Hades is powerful enough to hold Fenrir forever.”

  “This will mean chipped nails, won’t it?” Sparkle didn’t look like she was sure saving the universe was worth nail damage.

  “Hey, greatness requires sacrifice. I read that somewhere.” Ganymede glanced toward the parlor. “I think all the weirdos who belong to your sensitivity group are waiting for you. While you’re talking, I’ll contact a few people to help us.” He padded away.

  Sparkle motioned them toward the library, and Daria followed her. Declan followed Daria. He could lie to himself and say he only wanted to talk about their plan, but he was way beyond self-deceit. His senses clamored for her scent, her taste, her touch.

  He found a place for both of them to sit in a darkened corner while Sparkle began to speak.

  “Let’s pick up from where we left off last time.” Sparkle struck a dramatic pose in front of the fireplace, the shimmer of her short black dress a stark contrast to the flames. “To make it in today’s civilized society, we have to be sensitive to the feelings of others.” She motioned to one of the werelions. “How do you handle it when someone takes your parking spot at the mall?”