In Case Of Emergency Break Fourth Wall (The Messenger Archive Book 3)

by DC Bastien

  [Sianor: Like I went to get some soda just now and he accused me of 'maliciously staring at him' when he was reading his papers.]

  [Sianor: And then he snapped at me when I got my soda. Like... I don't even know what it was about, really. Just one minute fine, and then not.]

  [Ashroe: Oh no. Is he in pain? Or not sleeping well? I know I turn into a whole... what's the collective term for bears? Anyway, a lot of bears with bad heads.]

  [Ashroe: A picnic of bears?]

  [Ashroe: Anyway.]

  [Sianor: And I just wanted to yell at him, but he's sick, and he's stressed, and then I got all itchy and I had to blurt out and run off and yeah.]

  [Ashroe: Oh babe. I'm sure it's nothing serious. I know you feel sucky now, but you're an adult! You have a job. And you have your own life to lead, but now... now the whole memento mori thing kicks in.]

  [Sianor: Memento mori?]

  [Ashroe: Remember you'll die, basically. A reminder of the transient nature of life.]

  [Ashroe: Our parents are this magical thing to us when we're little. They're basically the Kings and Queens of our own little kingdoms. They set the rules like bedtimes, they tax us in chores, they teach us everything... and we chafe and complain, but they're sort of... you think they're this magical person. And they're not.]

  [Sianor: I mean, my Mom was only three years older than I am now when she had me.]

  [Ashroe: Still pretty young.]

  [Sianor: Yeah. But I don't feel like me-now would be as good a mom as she was.]

  [Ashroe: Well, you'd have time to get good at it.]

  [Sianor: What if I screwed them up? What if I...]

  [Ashroe: What?]

  [Sianor: I don't know.]

  [Ashroe: You can't second guess it.]

  [Sianor: I suppose. And I think Mom wanted grandkids already. Even though she has to know with my health issues it's not really sensible.]

  [Ashroe: Not if you carry the kid, no. But as your dad is adopted...]

  [Sianor: Yeah. It's another reason why I'd really want to consider adopting one day.]

  [Ashroe: When is his next check up?]

  [Sianor: Wednesday. I'm going with him, because Mom went to all the other ones.]

  [Ashroe: Why don't you do something fun as well? Like... go for... uh. A burger?]

  [Sianor: If Mom found out...]

  [Ashroe: He could have a veggie burger! Or a wrap or something.]

  [Sianor: True.]

  [Ashroe: He's been in the house mostly, hasn't he?]

  [Sianor: Yeah, and in the yard. He hasn't really felt brave enough to go off on his own.]

  [Ashroe: It has to have affected his confidence. Maybe you could build him up with baby steps? Like take him out shopping. I mean, man-shopping. You know what I mean.]

  [Sianor: So not take him out to buy a nice tiara and some sparkly dance shoes? Darn.]

  [Ashroe: You know what I was trying to say!]

  [Sianor: No, I do. And I think you're right. Maybe if I tell him I need his help with the final bits of our cosplay? He's no seamstress, but he's got a good eye for arty stuff. And he can probably help with the non-fabricy bits.]

  [Ashroe: Would he help you make a costume?]

  [Sianor: He used to help Mom make me Halloween costumes so I don't see why not.]

  [Ashroe: That's so sweet. Are they... are they fans?]

  [Sianor: Dad watches the show, but not religiously. We sometimes talk about it, but he thinks the whole online discussion thing is weird.]

  [Ashroe: And your mum?]

  [Sianor: Mom isn't one for space stuff. She likes her telenovelas. I mean, she'll watch it, but she wouldn't if me or Dad weren't home.]

  [Ashroe: Fair enough. Mine watch some geeky stuff, but not Mission. I tried to get my brother into it, but even if he watches stuff he's just not very good at discussing it after. My sis was better for that, but she's usually tied up with neon colours and repetitive speech now.]

  [Ashroe: By which I mean kiddy TV, not some acid trip.]

  [Sianor: I figured.]

  [Ashroe: I am so jealous your dad is even remotely fannish. I mean, there's two guys at work who I can talk about TV shows with sometimes, and usually big movies, but...]

  [Sianor: If you had RL people to talk to though, you'd never have met meeeee.]

  [Ashroe: True. And that would be a crying shame.]

  [Sianor: I think I need to go talk to him. BRB.]

  [Ashroe: No rush, I'll edit the last couple of chapters and draft them for posting.]

  [Ashroe: Wow, we wrote a lot.]

  [Ashroe: And again with the double spacing, wtaf. I must have a faulty keyboard.]

  [Sianor: Back :) I asked him if he wanted to go out after his checkup and help me pick up things and he said he was sorry if he was being an ass so then there was cuddling and now I feel better. Also I said sorry if I was being an ass too. It might have gotten soppy.]

  [Ashroe: Aww, I'm glad.]

  [Ashroe: I know I won't see them see them, but maybe some time I should – uh – 'meet' them? Over video or something?]

  [Sianor: Ooh, good plan. I mean I've shown them your photos and stuff, but they might think it a bit less weird if they speak to you.]

  [Sianor: I warn you now, Mom has no sense of self-volume control. Like, she will totally yell. And not mean anything by it.]

  [Ashroe: Hearing problems?]

  [Sianor: Not that we can tell, she's just damn loud.]

  [Ashroe: So noted. I will subtly alter the volume when she is speaking.]

  [Sianor: Does that mean we're super serious? Meeting the parents?]

  [Ashroe: Nah, just means I'm getting written into the will.]

  [Sianor: *sporks*]

  [Ashroe: You can meet my folks. They're more laid back. Bro will probably just say 'sup and sis will ask you nine million questions. Mostly about do you realise you're dating a lunatic.]

  [Sianor: Well, I'd like to think that by now I'd have figured out your lunacy.]

  [Ashroe: Precisely! I'm not exactly subtle about it.]

  [Ashroe: Okay, I'm gonna go take a bath before bed.]

  [Sianor: Oh?]

  [Ashroe: Girl reasons.]

  [Sianor: Ohhh.]

  [Ashroe: Yeah. I have me a hot chocolate with a bath bomb thingy and my fluffy dressing gown and some thrash metal screamo punk whatever loudness comes on my mp3 player.]

  [Sianor: One of those things is not like the others.]

  [Ashroe: I'll send you a pic when I get my bubble-nest sorted.]

  [Sianor: And tell me what song comes on as you soak in your bubbles.]

  [Ashroe: Natch. See you later boo.]

  [Sianor: Love you.]

  [Ashroe: MWAH.]

  ***

  Chapter Fourteen – Mission: Notation

  The First Bank of Pluto had been founded on a linguistic misunderstanding. Instead of Plouton, deity of the Underworld, the founder had been thinking of Ploutos, the deity of wealth. That was the common explanation, though some over the years had suspected the 'slip' was instead a terrible pun or – worse still – a marketing ploy.

  Either way, Pluto was known for its financial district, now. It would be as easy to settle here as anywhere else with inhabitants in the Sol system, but very few people actually lived on the surface. Charon was unofficial home to the Humans (and other species) who worked in finance.

  The First Bank of Pluto (FBP) was also one of the few major hold outs against the 'real' Bank, run by the faceless species only interested in wealth and acquisition. Although 'hold out' was perhaps also inaccurate, as they worked closely with the Bankers and simply provided a more animated face for customer care. With Messenger docked in one of the many hangar bays, Loap and Ithon made their way to one of the many reception areas. The bank was like a flat spider's web with spokes and interlacing corridors with a dome gently over the top to protect the structure as a whole. It meant that there was plenty of external greenery between the corridors and office hubs, but it was impossible t
o shake the artificial nature of it as the layout was so symmetrical as to be repetitive.

  "Has Biann worked out what Eru's technicians did, yet?"

  "No," Loap answered. "She said it would be difficult to tell before we turn on the cloak, but that the system was also likely designed to be impregnable to backwards-engineering it."

  "If anyone can figure it out, it's her. With Kre. And Mes."

  "True. Though surely Kre could order the Ard – the architects – to tell her anyway?" Loap stopped before naming the Sianar task force, well aware they could be monitored at all times.

  "Less fun than working it out for yourself."

  Avery was dressed in very quintessentially Human clothes, though he'd brought out some tricks of the trade and used facial alteration techniques. His cheeks were shaped a little more angularly, his skin fake-creased and the contacts turned his eyes a very obvious Hleen-coloured purple. His hair was hidden by his headscarf, a series of appropriated bow-strings trailing down his back. Loap wondered why Humans so often emulated the Hleen like this. Though they were more facially and superficially similar, there was no way one could pass for the other without significant surgery and/or cosmetic application of skin-colouring.

  It was probably for the best that they adapted Hleen things rather than Roq or Sianar as a rule, as Humans were not designed for the limited amount of clothing the furrier or scalier members of sentient civilisation offered.

  Loap, meanwhile, had been forced to dress the part, too. As Roq rarely wore much in the way of clothing his addition to the pretence was yet more face painting and brightly coloured strands of fabric tied across his belt and harness. The daubed paint was slicked down over his throat and shoulders, too, and although he couldn't really feel it there it still itched subconsciously.

  "You are sure we are the best two to—"

  "Yes, already. Don't you think I'd rather come in alone?"

  Loap thought about that for a moment. In all honesty, he didn't know. He really didn't know the Enforcer at all as he was normally flirting with the Captain or fighting with Saidhe. "I think you like to be alone less than you imply."

  "Maybe. But when it's something that puts people in danger... I'd rather minimise the potential casualties."

  Avery pushed his arm through Loap's, tugging him close and forcing him to adapt his stride accordingly. Loap cringed under the unwelcome contact, but he was supposed to 'sell' this so he tried to keep his crest-scales from flushing.

  They entered the main lobby, side by side, and Avery waltzed them straight to the front desk.

  "Why g'morning," he drawled in a voice much higher-pitched and musical than his normal spoken tones. "Isn't it a lovely day out here?"

  "It is," the Human behind the desk replied, her hands clasped gently on the desk surface. She bowed her head just minutely, eyes never leaving them. "How may I help you?"

  Avery bumped his hip to Loap's. "Show her, honey. Show her the deposit chit."

  Loap was sure this cover was designed just to humiliate him. He did something approximating a smile (which would double as a 'I want to rip your throat out but I am too polite to do so' to Avery) and pulled out the little chit in question from a pocket on his belt. "Here you are, Zer."

  "Thank you," the woman beamed, taking it and scanning it. If she was surprised by what it revealed, it didn't show. "You have a safety deposit box with us. Are you wanting access, or?"

  "Yes, just access," Loap confirmed. "We want to continue to rent it."

  "Of course. If you'd take a seat, I'll have one of the assistants lead you to the room."

  The two went to the small waiting area and Loap perched on a Roq-style bench as Avery poured himself some water from the cooler. When offered one of his own, he shook his head politely no. Loap didn't like to eat or drink when he was worried, and he was worried now. Avery and the Captain had both assured him that they'd taken every possible precaution in concealing their identities, but he still worried. If Baudeline could bring the Sianar's ruling class almost to their knees then seeing through a superficial disguise was likely child's play.

  Just when he was about to start toying with the strands near his thigh a small robot approached them. It tinkled quietly to announce its approach first, then waited to be acknowledged. The small machine floated close to eye-level for both, a round ball with a single, bright camera-lens aperture for emotional connection.

  "Yes?" Avery asked, not moving from his sprawl against the wall yet. His ringed fingers drummed over the disposable cup, his expression bored and lazy.

  "I am ready to take you to the safety deposit room," the robot replied. Its voice was soft and non-threatening, no regional accent in its tone whatsoever. "Would you like to join me, or do you require further refreshments?"

  "No, we're ready." Avery crumpled up the cup with a loud scrunching noise (making Loap cringe) and kicked off from the wall. A toss of his head indicating follow me and Loap was all too happy to oblige.

  "It has been many years since your last visit," the robot said as it trundled along. It mimicked gait by bobbing just gently up and down as it moved. "Have you been well?"

  "Very."

  Loap watched with horror as the machine either took it at face value, ignoring the obviously sarcastic tone... or else didn't care enough to alter its response.

  "I am pleased you are well," it said, soft-gentle but also eerily utterly devoid of real feelings. "The room is to your right. When you are ready, you may press the button to receive the box. When you are done, please place all items you wish to deposit in the box, close the lid, and press the button to return it. The doors will remain locked, the cameras disabled, until you press to be released."

  "Much obliged," Avery drawled.

  The room was similarly non-offensive. The walls were a muted, pale wooden colour and the hints of metal were clean and crisp, without a single sharp edge to cut yourself on. Loap waited for the door to shush closed before turning to Avery.

  "Prepare to be very disappointed," Avery said with a grin, pressing his palm over the button. The big, flat door on one side of the room curled back underneath itself letting a shelf slide out. On the shelf was a small box in the same muted tones and colours. Avery palmed it and removed a small, oblique red box from inside. It was about the same size as Loap's hind foot and perhaps the thickness of two food cans. Avery closed the pale box, keeping the red one out.

  "It certainly looks striking." It did. It was bright, primary red and all angles and promises. He didn't know why Avery thought it would be disappointing.

  "It doesn't hold the universe's most expensive diamond, though."

  "I prefer amber."

  "Each to their own."

  Avery dropped the box into a sturdy canvas bag already clipped to his belt-loops for the precise purpose of carrying it. He nodded and pressed the button to send the empty box back into storage, then pressed the exit button.

  And waited. And waited.

  Loap drew one claw over the back of his hand tracing the pattern of overlapping scales as a self-comforting gesture. He wanted to panic, to run, feeling suddenly claustrophobic in the small room.

  "Not a good sign," Avery said, dryly. He pressed it once more, then pressed the concealed switch under his sleeve against his thigh.

  "Your reassurance that this would be a 'milk run' now seems like a miscalculation," Loap said.

  "Not a 'miscalculation' so much as a 'miscommunication'. Think of it more like a 'chocolate milk run'. One with significantly more b—"

  The lights wobbled, then, the room flickering just slightly. Avery pulled something from under his headscarf, slipping a mask over his eyes, mouth and nose. There seemed to be a slender bit between his teeth which was likely a rebreather.

  "Put this on," he said, voice muffled as he threw over a similar contraption. "But don't activate it until after the power's really gone."

  More secret plans. Did they teach them this in the Ur? Was it why the Captain so regularly had his crew b
affled and confused? Loap slid the contraption over his eyes, nose and into his mouth. He clamped down shut on the bar, finding the straps were at least designed to lock into a seal around his face. The lenses of the goggles were a little tinted, but he suspected they would be augmented when the power was on.

  Again, Avery brushed his wrist against his side, though by now there was no need to conceal their involvement and preparation. The lights went off, and so did gravity. Pluto was close to six percent of the Human standard (which was what Mes was programmed for), meaning they were barely held in place.

  Loap bit down on the cylinder in his mouth, activating it. Air didn't pour out just yet as there was plenty of ambient atmosphere in the base, but that would likely change if the complex was suddenly depressurised. The goggles turned to a very smart night mode, which was helpful. Loap watched as Avery used some tool or other at the door's seam and he went to help him prise it open past the mechanical biting point.

  "Do all of your plans end up in the breaking out of buildings?"

  "Sometimes we break in first," Avery replied. The door moved with a sudden clunk and outside the robot AI hovered. It stared at them with the unblinking camera aperture.

  "There is an emergency. You are requested to remain in the vault," it said.

  "Damn, forgot that it would have an autonomous battery supply," Ithon muttered.