In Case Of Emergency Break Fourth Wall (The Messenger Archive Book 3)

by DC Bastien

  "If I did, why did I have to come and get you?"

  "I was making it faster."

  Baudeline had almost regained his composure, now. His eyes were pained, tight around the edges. Ithon hated seeing him hurt, but also didn't. He wanted to make him cry like he'd felt like doing for every night for years. The man deserved a swift kick to the groin. Over. And over.

  "You're welcome, by the way."

  "For what?"

  "Rescuing you."

  "Resc... you do realise we were pulling you out of hiding, right?" Maybe he was giving too much away, now, but as he was in custody and angry, he didn't entirely care. "You weren't rescuing me. I voluntarily confessed to my crimes. For the greater good."

  "Your crime... of a consensual, adult relationship?"

  "One against rules and regs, yes. Which is still wrong. There were ways we could have gone about it legitimately, but we didn't."

  "And the custodial sentence they doled out on you... that was going to go well? An ex-Enforcer? Would you be in with the general population, or confined to a cell a fraction of this size?"

  "So you admit this is a cell?"

  "Damnit, Ithon..." Baudeline's hands balled into fists, then, and he was clearly trying to get his breathing under control. "This is temporary."

  "So you're going to... what? Put me in a bigger cell? Give me parentally filtered access to the net? Allow me to pick my own meals from a menu? Give me crayons and let me make my own artwork?"

  "It's a work in progress."

  "Yeah, well, maybe you should come with an actual offer. And not just expect you can grab hold of my dick and everything's fixed."

  "Evidently."

  Baudeline had to know that he didn't want this, right? His confession to the Ur hadn't been a cry for help. It had been an admission of guilt long in the making. He'd never been happy with himself for his lapse in judgement, and it had come back to bite him on the ass. Ithon wasn't going to suddenly be fine with all he'd done. So why was he bringing him here? Did he intend to threaten him into submission?

  "I'll come by later. I think you need some time alone," the older man said.

  "I need time away from you, yes. But letting me stew in here won't suddenly start of a round of Stockholm Syndrome. I'm not the man you met."

  "No. You're not." Baudeline smiled, thinly. "And yet, you are, too. Everything I used to love about you."

  "Then you're even more sick than I thought you were."

  "Maybe so." He brushed himself down, as if he hadn't just tried to sexually assault his new prisoner. "I'll send for you for dinner. I've got your favourite: Mexican."

  "Still not going to win me over. It isn't a case of 'tacos and all's forgiven'."

  "Later, Ith."

  ***

  [Ashroe: I hate you.]

  [Sianor: I hate you too.]

  [Ashroe: I hate you, because I ship it.]

  [Ashroe: And I hate me because I ship it. Basically I hate everyone and everything ever and always and anon.]

  [Sianor: I know. I knew you would ship it. It was inevitable. Now the angsty ex has his own angsty ex!]

  [Ashroe: If we find out that Baudeline's angsty ex started the first interspecies war, I wouldn't be surprised at this point.]

  [Sianor: No! No giving Baudeline any more bones to chew on!]

  [Ashroe: Hehe.]

  [Sianor: So you... like him?]

  [Ashroe: How do you even – why are you asking that?]

  [Sianor: Kip is really confused by him being in my head, too. He growls and paces and threatens to castrate him.]

  [Ashroe: *coughs*threesome*coughs*]

  [Sianor: He heard that and would like to introduce you to a thing he calls 'No'.]

  [Ashroe: But seriously, yes. And now I have nine million bazillion mental images about how their conversation went.]

  [Sianor: It didn't go well, for sure.]

  [Ashroe: Even worse, Ithon isn't exactly the happy-go-lucky flirt. He angry-flirts, and then he doesn't... you know. Act on it.]

  [Sianor: He's more bark than bite.]

  [Ashroe: When he does bite, he bites hard.]

  [Sianor: So it had to pretty much scar him when it turned out his first real boyfriend was secretly a mob boss.]

  [Ashroe: Stalking Kip for years to make sure he's not also secretly a criminal.]

  [Sianor: Checking in with the Judge.]

  [Ashroe: The Judge doesn't know why he asks the questions he does. Other than knowing they have Thing. But not sure why Ithon's so paranoid that Kip's secretly a supervillain.]

  [Sianor: I made myself sad.]

  [Ashroe: So many years apart because they're a pair of giant idiots.]

  [Sianor: And then there's the other asshole in my head.]

  [Ashroe: Ithon... Ithon wants to...]

  [Sianor: Hmm?]

  [Ashroe: He's literally sitting here refusing to type out the words.]

  [Sianor: Say them aloud?]

  [Ashroe: He says that would be even worse.]

  [Sianor: Oh.]

  [Ashroe: He... ah. He wants to know if it was mutual.]

  [Sianor: It was. It really was. That's why he's still alive. Baud couldn't ever kill him, and he knew if he stayed in office that Ith would be forced to take him down. So he ran.]

  [Ashroe: Ugh. And – it's – why does it hurt? He's a selfish bastard!]

  [Sianor: Even assholes and villains can have feelings. And you can feel empathy for them. He did love him, but he also loved the games he was playing. The money, the power, the wheels within wheels.]

  [Ashroe: And Ithon wonders if he'd have been able to put it all behind him.]

  [Sianor: Honestly? I know he just moved in recently, but I don't think so. Even if he asked him.]

  [Ashroe: And I really doubt Ithon would have been able to stay if he did. Like, he'd feel so utterly betrayed by all the previous wrongs. And he'd never trust him again, no matter how much he claimed to have change. Plus, if he only changed just to get into his pants... that wouldn't be remorse. It would be sex-drive.]

  [Sianor: And love!]

  [Ashroe: And love. But it wouldn't be a moral choice. It would be a pragmatic one.]

  [Sianor: But Baudeline doesn't believe he's done anything really 'wrong'. Not to the extent of feeling sorry for it. He recognises it's outside of law, but he also doesn't... you know. Feel bad about any of it, other than Ithon finding out.]

  [Ashroe: Ithon wondering if you actually can be in love if you don't know the other person. Is it love? Or is it infatuation? Because your mental image of the other isn't accurate.]

  [Sianor: The feeling can still be real, but the object of it can be other than what you thought, I guess. Like, you could love... uh... diet coke. And not find out til later that it's diet coke. You thought it was normal coke all along.]

  [Ashroe: Except in this case the sugar-substitute is a lack of moral core.]

  [Sianor: It's an analogy, not an actual example.]

  [Ashroe: And the feeling you had is still the same. Or... maybe if you really loved a coffee blend you thought was ethical, then you find it isn't. And you still like the taste, but the knowledge of the unfair trading practices means your enjoyment's ruined.]

  [Sianor: Except it's super feelings and not just delicious coffee.]

  [Ashroe: The fact that they both still feel emotional (and physical) attraction probably means they have feelings for one another. It's just that Baudeline became – or always was – incompatible with Ithon's requirements.]

  [Sianor: 'Not being a scheming evil genius' is a pretty reasonable request, IMHO.]

  [Ashroe: Quite. Okay... I think I've finally finished digesting the cheese selection.]

  [Sianor: It was very nice.]

  [Ashroe: So... snuggle time?]

  [Sianor: Thought you'd never ask <3]

  [Ashroe: Just please don't turn out to be a scheming evil genius, okay?]

  [Sianor: No promises!]

  ***

  Chapter Twenty-Five – Mission
: Caption

  "Captain, the Ur court would appreciate if you and your crew would consent to debriefing."

  Saidhe had heard of the 'debriefings' before. Usually in the most derogatory terms possible, so she swivelled her chair around to read the Captain's expression.

  "On the grounds of?" he asked.

  "On the grounds that you may have either material evidence, or a strong lead, on tracking down the now-missing Ithon or Judge DiGattio," Peters' voice came over the signal.

  "No charges laid?"

  "Not unless they find evidence of wrongdoing."

  "Gimme thirty, and I'll mosey on over."

  "Understood."

  The line clicked dead, and Saidhe waited for Vadim to see she was trying for eye-contact. When he turned to walk off, she cleared her throat.

  "What is it, Sparkle?"

  "Is that an actual thirty, or are we—?"

  "We gotta. If we run from Coriolis, that's it. We're outlaws for life. I ain't gonna tell anyone what to say. You say what you need to."

  "But... will... will it be alright?"

  "Yes, Sai. It will."

  She didn't like the defeated line to his shoulders, though.

  ***

  [Ashroe: Okay, so, your breakfast offerings are weird, but parts of it I like.]

  [Sianor: Oh? What's so weird about it?]

  [Ashroe: Just different things, I guess. We mostly have sausage, bacon, egg, tomato, beans, toast... that's the English breakfast. Plus cereals, of course. We might also have the continental style, which is meats and cheeses with various breads and croissants. Fruits. Yoghurts. Of course, no one – usually – has the Full English if they're not staying somewhere or at a place that does it all for you these days. But in a hotel, it's what's on the menu.]

  [Sianor: Ah. So we have more stuff.]

  [Ashroe: And waffles. You have waffles. We don't. Not in the same way.]

  [Sianor: I bet you have things we don't, though.]

  [Ashroe: Well, yes. We do. Some things that I don't want like haggis, but also it's hit and miss it seems if Americans have had Indian food. But we love it. Especially after a night on the town.]

  [Sianor: We can probably find somewhere like that here.]

  [Ashroe: I'll do some research later :) Maybe the days after the con? Unless you're getting sick of pampering and steam rooms?]

  [Sianor: Never! Nor am I getting sick of you, before you worry. I'm really enjoying this.]

  [Ashroe: Me too.]

  ***

  Loap was sure they'd picked a Sianar Enforcer to attempt to intimidate him. There was no other reason to put him in with the other. There were many Sianar in the Ur, but by far they were outnumbered by Hleen and Humans. Lots of people they could get to ask him their 'simple questions'.

  "No."

  "Not any indication of where he might go if he had to 'disappear'?"

  "As I said before: no. The Enforcer was often not with us. I have no idea where he would go when he wasn't with us. I assumed he did Ur work." Loap's eyes slitted half shut, head cocked, a curl to his lips. "Do you not keep records on where you station your own men?"

  "I'd kindly ask you to not ask questions."

  "Why not?" And then he showed teeth. "My apologies. Another question."

  "We're here to ascertain what you know."

  "Perhaps you also need to ask questions of the Ur. And it could be that an impartial, external party can think of the questions the Ur need to answer," he said, mildly enough.

  "Did Avery give you any indication that he would run?"

  "No."

  "Why was your ship still docked with Coriolis?"

  "We were going to take the Judge back onboard."

  "And you had no idea there were Hale Roq ships in the area?"

  "My family is very large. I am not aware of everything my relatives do." He wasn't answering either way with that.

  "What about the Sianar ships?"

  "Why would I know about Sianar ships?"

  Loap was actually enjoying this. Maybe he shouldn't tease the Enforcer so much, but it was his own fault for walking in with a chest puffed up and mane all-but sprayed erect. He probably didn't realise that Loap had lived briefly under the care and hospitality of the most powerful Sianar alive and regularly saw her sister before she'd had anything to eat in a morning. His weak posturing meant next to nothing.

  "So, to the best of your knowledge, the ex-Enforcer did not stage this 'rescue' attempt?"

  "I'd call it an abduction attempt, and no. I would strongly suspect he wanted anything but. When he spoke of Baudeline, it was always with great misgivings. He also volunteered the information about his past affair."

  "After Judge Peters—"

  "No," he cut the Sianar off, as politely as he could. "The Judge was investigating Baudeline's other criminal activity, but Avery came forwards with the information about their relationship independently."

  "I see."

  "And he was not happy about it."

  "How so?"

  Loap wondered if this Enforcer was stupid, or if acting stupid was part of their interrogation technique?

  ***

  [Ashroe: It's your turn to call room service.]

  [Sianor: Damn.]

  [Ashroe: Oh come on! I did it the last three times.]

  [Sianor: But you're so good at being the responsible adult!]

  [Ashroe: I'll just order for me...]

  [Sianor: FINE. Okay. Pass me the menu, please?]

  [Ashroe: I decided I want the steak.]

  [Sianor: Yeah I thought you would after... okay hang on let's just talk for a sec.]

  [Ashroe: Come back to the machiiiiine.]

  [Ashroe: I know.]

  [Ashroe: Yes.]

  [Ashroe: Because it's funny to listen to you speaking aloud.]

  [Ashroe: And you do this cute little nose scrunch when you're irritated with my adorable cuteness.]

  [Ashroe: You do too.]

  [Ashroe: We only have, like, half an hour before the food comes and we watch a movie.]

  [Ashroe: You're avoiding the scene aren't you?]

  [Ashroe: KIP. Come on! It's just dinner!]

  [Ashroe: Good boy.]

  ***

  With his hands free Ithon could properly examine the other clothes offered. They all seemed to be of a similar vein and they'd also all been provided for him. That kind of took the autonomy away from picking his own outfit, because it was from a set wardrobe. He did consider wearing things that looked awful together, but the best he could get was 'not really great together'.

  There was nothing personal or humanising about this room at all. If Baudeline had tried to decorate it to be welcoming, he'd failed. It was the same kind of homey that you'd get in an upmarket hotel. At least he hadn't tried to put some atrociously mundane art in, because Ithon would have objected strenuously to that.

  Maybe being stuck in it had him second-guessing things that didn't need second-guessing, but he had nothing but his mind for company. The vast library of fictional stories or documentaries had no appeal, and talking to Pax reminded him of conversations – long ago – with his father: one-sided and unfulfilling.

  When Pax announced that he had a visitor again Ithon was torn between screaming in frustration and cheering for the distraction. Also probably part of the master plan.

  Baudeline hadn't changed, but he did stay in the doorway when it opened. Ithon was waiting for him this time, sitting on the chair thing. He glared, because he wanted to.

  "Would you join me for dinner?"

  "Will you starve me if I say no?"

  "No."

  Ithon still considered saying 'no', but frankly he was going out of his tiny mind. He couldn't stay in here indefinitely. "Alright."

  "As I said, I've got Mexican for you."

  "You are aware that you can't just bribe me with guacamole, aren't you?"

  "Ithon, if I thought guacamole was the answer to the problem that is you, I'd have my own avocado farm by now."
/>
  "Just making sure."

  They walked in silence, then. Ithon didn't see any guards, which was possibly sloppy. What if he decided to get murderous? Sure, Baudeline didn't have an obvious sidearm or bladed weapon that he could wrestle from him, but he'd been Ur. There'd be something in that outfit of his, somewhere none too obvious and none too easy to steal.

  There was also the good, old-fashioned 'resort to fists, elbows, thumbs and knees', but he didn't want to see if age had lessened Baudeline's effectiveness at hand-to-hand combat. He was a lot broader and likely stronger, no matter the age difference. They'd never had even a play fight, way back when, but he did remember him being on the... firmer side of physical.

  "Will you tell me where we are, or where we're going?"

  "Afraid I can't do that, Ith."

  "Why? Afraid I'll somehow manage to turn my toilet into a two-way communications device? Because, let me tell you, there's only—"

  Baudeline cleared his throat noisily, and Ithon smirked internally. The man had always been on the delicate side about the gritty realities of corporeal existence. Kip, on the other hand, had broken out the fart jokes practically on day one of their acquaintance. He tried to hold on to those memories, the good, early ones and the later, better ones. It stilled some of the existential terror.