In The Shadows

by Joan Ellis

  Was Eric developing suspicions now, Elaine demanded of herself, the stupid clumsy way she was handling this? Or was it only her own nervousness that read doubt in the faint silence at the other end of the wire before he resumed his prodding?

  "No need to be shy with characters like us," he insisted. "We'll count on you two for dinner. Come over straight from the office. We can have a cocktail before dinner. The festive city touch," he chuckled again.

  "All right, Eric." Elaine gave up fighting. She'd stuck her neck out; it was too late to pull back now "See you tonight," he chirped blithely, and hung up. Elaine sat at her desk, immobile, staring into space without seeing. What on earth had got into her to suggest bringing Terry along? Yet she couldn't have broken tonight's date. Terry would never have forgiven her.

  Elaine closed up shop for the day promptly at five, hurried out to the washroom with the subconscious thought that she might catch Terry before she went on down to the drugstore around the corner where they'd planned to meet. She wanted to be done with the job of explaining about going to Eric's tonight. Instinctively, she felt Terry might not mind. It would be rather pleasing to her to meet Elaine's family, Elaine guessed. Yet with Terry one never knew what childlike turn her mind might take. It'd be awkward to have a battle with her now. She felt nervous at the prospect of showing up alone. She wanted the protection of Terry's presence, she realized with astonishment. Why? Why couldn't she relax with Eric and Kathy? What was this monumental thing building up in her about being alone with her own brother and his wife?

  The instant she walked into the drugstore, she spied Terry at the small rear booth they'd labeled as "theirs".

  "Hi." Terry shot her that sweet secretive smile that said "I love you madly but those stupid fools around here don't know!"

  "Did you order anything yet?" Elaine's face softened.

  "Coffee for the two of us." Terry glanced up. "Here it comes."

  "Hi, you two gorgeous gals," the high-spirited soda jerk who doubled as waiter before the dinner-time rush gurgled good-naturedly, yet again Elaine's sensitive mind thought she detected a note of curiosity in him. Damn it, why did she keep up this insane routine of thinking everybody they encountered knew about Terry and her? It wasn't true! She knew that.

  She waited until the boy was gone before launching into the story about their dinner engagement.

  "Eric phoned a few minutes before I left," she introduced lightly.

  "Oh?" Terry's face lit up inquisitively. "What's on his mind?"

  "He wanted to ask me over to dinner tonight."

  "Again?" Terry's eyebrows shot upward. "Isn't he getting over-brotherly?"

  "I was rather surprised," Elaine tried to sound believable. "Anyhow, I told him I had a dinner engagement." She paused briefly, reading satisfaction in Terry. Terry was pleased that he'd been put off—but she'd have to tell her the truth. "He absolutely insisted on my bringing you along. Do you mind going over there, honey?"

  "I'll love it," Terry said instantly, her face glowing with pleasure, and Elaine felt tension oozing away from her body. "He doesn't know about us, does he?"

  "Of course not!" Elaine was shocked at the question Terry put so matter-of-factly.

  "I figured. I just wanted to be sure, so I wouldn't disgrace you." Terry smiled with wide-eyed innocence. "I've been dying to see their apartment. It must be something gorgeous."

  "It's quite lavish," Elaine conceded, aware of the surging curiosity in Terry now. She hadn't realized Terry's strong interest in her family until this moment. It fairly gushed forth in torrents from her now.

  "Eric must have a fabulous job to pay that kind of rent," Terry pursued avidly. "Or does his wife work, too?"

  "No, Kathy doesn't work," Elaine told her.

  "You like her, don't you?" Terry flung at her with deceptive sweetness.

  "Kathy? Yes, she's a fine person. Eric did very well for himself." She wanted suddenly to steer the conversation away from Kathy. "Eric's delighted with his new job," she improvised, though they hadn't actually discussed it that fully.

  "Enormous salary?" Terry's eyes were wide with admiration.

  "For his age, yes," Elaine conceded.

  "It must be marvelous to have all the money you want, and to be able to five in a smart building like theirs." Envy sneaked into her voice. "I can't wait to see their apartment. I've never been in anything like that. Except yours, of course," she corrected swiftly.

  "If you were so anxious to see it, honey, you could have gone up with me before," Elaine said, surprised. “All those times I had to dash up to make sure about furniture and the cleaning.”

  "Well see it tonight," Terry smiled with satisfaction. Then she turned questioningly to Elaine. "Darling, did you remember what you said? About the key to your place?"

  "I'll take care of it over the weekend." She'd forgotten about her promise to Terry. Probably because she recoiled from the idea of giving Terry the key. It was like relinquishing part of her cherished freedom.

  "Elaine, maybe we ought to stop by and let me change into another dress," Terry suggested brightly. "This old thing I wear to the office is awful."

  "Honey, it looks lovely with you in it," Elaine insisted diplomatically. She didn't want to show up at Eric's two hours later. When Terry decided to dress up, it became a major project. "Besides, Eric knows we're coming directly from the office.

  "I probably won't think of a thing to say to them," Terry jabbered excitedly. "I mean, somebody like Eric who's so smart and all. It's different with you." that secretive adoring look that pierced wells of tenderness in Elaine, came full strength across the small drugstore table to her.

  "Eric is easy to know," Elaine told her gently. "And his wife is sweet and unassuming. You'll like them both."

  "What does he do? His job, I mean?" Terry was thoroughly excited over the night's adventure. Like small child going to her first party, Elaine decided with a rush of affection. Right now she was glad she'd blundered into the arrangement for dinner.

  "Eric is an engineer—he's managing his firm's New York office. They're quite important in their field," she said with frank admiration for Eric's abilities. "Of course, he's already talking about a bigger job. He's terribly ambitious."

  "So are you," Terry reminded, wisdom replacing wistfulness.

  "I suppose I am."

  Somehow, the comparison with Eric startled Elaine. She'd never considered this fevered career race of hers in the category of ambition, but of course that's what it was. Misplaced ambition, because her aim in life had been so shockingly different before that horror-ridden return from Paris. Why had Eric dragged that back to her with such glaring painful clarity? And Kathy. Sweet, fine Kathy, she thought with a surge of gratitude. Because she was Eric's sister, Kathy was blithely positive Elaine was endowed with all sorts of wonderful qualities, certain she was born to be a great artist.

  "I wish I had some special talent," Terry confided. "Instead of just being 'nothing' me."

  "Being you is a talent, sweetie." Elaine reached out to cover Terry's small hand with her own. "You're somebody special."

  "I'd like to be able to take on some fabulous job." Terry's eyes glowed with excitement. "Have people look at me and say, there goes Terry Brooks! The Terry Brooks. I'd be famous and rich and deliriously happy. I'd go out and buy myself a fabulous wardrobe in all the best stores!"

  "I didn't know you felt underprivileged." Elaine's voice assumed an air of banter, but she was taken aback. How little she actually knew Terry, she thought with amazement. All she knew with complete knowledge was what they were to each other in the darkness of the night—that, and the little inconsequential things like what Terry wanted for breakfast and how she liked her showers. How little she knew about what went on deep in the recesses of Terry's mind, behind that wistful, gamin face!

  "Do you think it's terrible of me to want things?" Terry pursued softly, her eyes clinging to Elaine's.

  Elaine managed a wisp of a smile, telling herself thi
s was merely Terry offering a confidence. "I'm quite certain you have much company." She squinted thoughtfully into space. "We'll have to take you on a wild shopping spree one of these days soon." She tried again, with reluctant success, to convince herself this wasn't a deliberately planned play on Terry's part.

  "Darling, you mean that?" Terry glowed. "You aren't just teasing me?"

  "We'll go shopping," Elaine promised. "Soon."

  "Where you buy your clothes?" Under the table Terry's knee pushed close to Elaine's.

  "If I land the Truly Yours account," Elaine smiled at her little-girl jubilance. "We can afford it then."

  "Oh, Elaine, the account is practically yours," Terry purred delightedly. "You know Rick Stacy's going to hand it over to you!"

  "When everything's official, we can be sure." Elaine made a point of never jumping the gun. It was too easy to make yourself a prey for disappointments that way.

  "Darling, I'm so excited!" Terry squeezed her hand. "You're the sweetest. I adore you!"

  * * *

  Elaine rang the doorbell to Eric's apartment with a rush of self-consciousness. After his kidding the other night, to show up with Terry. Would Kathy add up the facts and come up with the truth, she wondered, perspiring with anxiety? She'd always been so proud, so secure in the belief that her deception was impregnable. Until this affair with Terry. Too many small, supposedly inconsequential slip-ups.

  "Hi!" Eric swung open the door and drew them inside. "Kathy," he yelled over one shoulder, "they're here!"

  "Are we too early?" Elaine asked nervously.

  "Certainly not." His eyes lingered on Terry with friendly curiosity.

  "Terry, this is my brother Eric," Elaine struggled for the casual touch. "Terry's with my office," she said, making it sound more important, knowing Terry'd be pleased.

  "Like advertising?" Eric closed the door and piloted the two of them towards the living room. "It can be interesting sometimes." Terry was turning on the kittenish charm, and then her eyes narrowed as Kathy hurried eagerly into the living room to greet them.

  "I'm so glad you could come." Kathy extended a hand to Elaine, then turned her attention to Terry. "Both of you."

  Elaine made the perfunctory introductions, while her insides churned with unrest at the change in Terry. One swift appraisal of Kathy, and Terry's back was up like a nasty-tempered Siamese. Elaine shot a swift glance at Kathy, to see if she were aware of the instant antagonism. The unjustified antagonism, Elaine told herself angrily. Why was Terry like that?

  Eric marshalled Terry and Elaine to the sofa, retreated to the bar for his cocktail preparations. Terry punctured the brief silence, with a voice that was maliciously patronizing.

  "Think you're going to like living in New York, Kathy?" She made it sound a doubtful situation.

  "I'm sure of it," Kathy bubbled with enthusiasm. "After spending all my life in a small town, it seems so wonderfully exciting."

  "Have you been married long?" Terry pursued, a tight little smile replacing the normally provocative one.

  "Four months." Kathy's eyes rested affectionately on Eric as he poured cocktails for them, then dwelt admiringly on her sister-in-law.

  "Don't forget your promise, Sis," Eric exhorted, passing around the cocktails. "Kathy's looking forward to it."

  "What was that?" Elaine was startled, then annoyed at the sharp suspicious glance Terry shot at her.

  "To show her around New York. She's mad to see the Village."

  "Eric, for heaven sake," Kathy chided laughingly. "Elaine has more to do than run a tourist service."

  "Elaine knows the Village like nobody in New York," Terry murmured, almost too sweetly. "All the special places."

  "You're living right in the Village," Elaine smiled at Kathy. "The more fashionable part perhaps, but nevertheless, it's the Village."

  "She's been finding out all about the poetry reading in the expresso shops, the off-beat art galleries and the playhouses. Sometimes, I'm sure Kathy married me because she knew the firm was considering me for the New York branch." Eric dropped onto the arm of the sofa, to slide an arm about his wife.

  "You know each other long before you were married?" Now Terry was deliberately turning on the "wistful waif routine, all for Eric's benefit.

  "Five weeks." Kathy laughed self-consciously. "I couldn't believe it was all actually happening."

  "How exciting!" Terry's eyes rested adoringly on Eric, and Elaine resisted an urge to kick her in the shins. "That means you're just beginning to learn all about each other. So many unexplored sides!"

  "I find it very exciting." Kathy's eyes met Terry's with candid recognition of the other's antagonism. Then she rose with a tiny smile of something close to apology, that something like this should mar their evening. "I'll see about getting dinner on the table, if you'll excuse me."

  Terry was flirting outrageously with Eric, who apparently considered her in the light of a precocious, attractive little kitten. Suddenly, Elaine wanted to slap her furiously. How did she dare behave like that, deliberately baiting Eric, to try to cause friction in this new marriage! It wasn't Elaine she was trying to make jealous, Elaine reasoned as calmly as she could manage. But why this need to strike out at Kathy?

  When Eric put on the hi-fi and he and Terry began to dance, Elaine moved out to the kitchen.

  "Need some help?" she asked, thinking how earnest Kathy looked at that moment, industriously filling the four dinner plates, obviously anxious that this dinner should turn out well.

  "I'm just about set," Kathy smiled back, and then her face turned serious. "Elaine, why does Terry dislike me?"

  "She doesn't, Kathy," Elaine protested, the telltale color in her cheeks giving lie to the words.

  "I'm only asking because I hoped it was something I could straighten out." Kathy searched Elaine's face for a clue. "I hoped I could be friends with Terry, since she's your friend,"

  "Terry works in the same agency," Elaine fenced evasively. "She's a rather strange girl sometimes—don't be upset."

  Kathy's face lit up spontaneously. "I'm glad Eric has you."

  "He has a wife now," Elaine reminded gently, sensing the tension in Kathy.

  "But he needs family behind him, too. You know him so much better than I." Elaine had an uneasy suspicion Kathy was trying to tell her something.

  "Kathy, is something wrong?"

  "No, not wrong." Kathy busied herself at the stove again. "Only, sometimes I feel there's so much inside Eric I don't understand. Crazy conflicts that drive him. Maybe one of these days we can sit down and talk about him. I want to be a good wife, Elaine."

  "I'm sure of it." Elaine reached impulsively to draw the girl near her.

  "Think we're going to be eating soon?" Terry's sulkily sweet voice intruded mockingly. "Eric and I are just hungry enough to start taking bites out of each other!"

  The glance she bestowed on Kathy was laden with hatred. She'd have to get her out of here fast, Elaine thought, laced with panic. In this kind of mood Terry might say anything! The truth was glaringly plain to Elaine now. Terry was consumed with jealously over Kathy! She'd sensed instantly the strong current of liking that had sprung up between Elaine and Kathy and she was determined to root it out. Seeing them together like this had triggered her into what devilish plan, Elaine wondered apprehensively.

  "Yes, do let's have dinner," Elaine pretended casual gaiety. "I'm close to starvation myself."

  Struggling to mask her inner conflict, Elaine deliberately slipped one arm through Eric's and the other through Terry's. "We'll let the hostess do all the work tonight."

  But she couldn't forget that look of hatred that shone forth from Terry. Let Kathy, in all her innocence, be protected. Let her not understand!

  CHAPTER 5

  Dinner went off fairly smoothly, mainly because Eric was happily unaware of the cross-currents of fomenting unpleasantness under cover, and because Elaine was determined nothing should mar the surface gaiety.

  "It's been a wo
nderful evening," Elaine smiled casually, a few moments before eleven, "but I'm a working gal. Early conference tomorrow morning." She resolutely refused to meet Terry's astonished glare.

  "On a Saturday?" Eric lifted one eyebrow questioningly.

  "Special conference," Elaine lied. "We're angling for a new account—this is the big push." It sounded effective, anyhow.

  They broke up the evening with a rush of light conversation, and Elaine breathed a sigh of relief as Terry and she walked into the elevator and headed for the street.

  "I don't see why we had to leave so early," Terry complained, watching Elaine with stormy eyes.

  "You hardly seemed to be having a good time," Elaine reminded, not looking at her.

  "I was having a marvelous time," Terry lashed back. "Eric's sweet, even if his wife is just a little too much."

  Elaine hailed a cab and then climbed in silently. Elaine gave the driver Terry's address.

  "What a dull way to spend a Friday night." Terry reached into her purse for a cigarette, and automatically Elaine reached to light it for her.

  "Still interested in going to that party of Stephie's?" she asked Terry on impulse. Something tugged at her to turn Terry's thinking away from Kathy.

  "You bet." Terry lifted her face eagerly to Elaine's with the familiarly coaxing smile. "Can we?"

  "If you're sure," Elaine delayed instinctively.

  "Everything'll be fine, you'll see." Terry glowed with anticipation as she leaned forward to give the driver the change of address. "Stephie and Fred always throw the most wonderful parties I"

  When they entered the apartment, in a town house somewhere off Fifth, Elaine realized Terry hadn't been wrong in her advance information on Fred. He was undoubtedly wealthy, blessed with good taste, and the convivial crowd beginning to assemble hardly seemed what would be expected at a gay party. Off in one corner, making a play for a statuesque redhead, was a television director Elaine had met some weeks back. A Name. Elaine wondered how many parties like this Terry had attended. Of course, she'd long since realized Terry wasn't the wistful naive waif she simulated so successfully. There was a native shrewdness that popped out at unexpected, oddly uncomfortable moments.