When I Found You (A Box Set)

by Webb, Peggy

  “It’s not right. This discussion should be between you and Ruth. I should not be a part of it.”

  “She’s gung ho for the idea. In fact, she wants to get pregnant as soon as possible.”

  “Leave me out of it, Malone. I don’t want to be the father of Ruth’s baby.”

  “It’s my baby too. All I’m asking is that the man I love and admire and respect more than any other man in the world donate a little sperm so that I can have a child who at least stands a chance of inheriting the Corday stubbornness.”

  The idea of Ruth great with his child grew in Brett until he didn’t trust himself to speak. Instead, he let his silence speak for him.

  “Fine, then.” Malone jumped off the sofa. “Fine and dandy. You keep your damned precious sperm, and I’ll fill my wife full of somebody else’s. Somebody we don’t know from Adam’s house cat. Hell, at least the kid will have Ruth’s genes.”

  He stalked toward the door—mad at Brett, mad at Chu Ling, mad at the doctor. But mostly mad at himself.

  Malone Corday, failure.

  “Wait.” Brett knew that what he was about to do would forever alter the course of their lives. But the idea of Ruth bearing a stranger’s child was more than he could endure. He had sacrificed an eye for his brother. He would give up a child for Ruth.

  “I’ll do it,” he said.

  “You mean that?” Malone grabbed his arm, grinning. “You’ll part with a bit of the old seed so Ruth and I can have a real, genuine Corday baby?”

  “On condition that she never know.”

  “Hey ... that’s a given. I’d cut out my tongue before I’d tell her. This calls for a celebration.”

  “Orange juice?”

  “Maybe something stronger? Just this once?”

  “Not a chance.”

  Brett went toward the kitchen to get the juice, and Cee Cee rose from her place in the corner. She made “let’s play” noises to get Malone’s attention.

  “Hey, old girl. What are you doing up? Aren’t you supposed to be in bed asleep?”

  He didn’t bother to sign. Cee Cee liked that. Sometimes she got tired of people signing at her all the time as if she couldn’t hear.

  She didn’t bother to sign to Malone, either. She didn’t need signs for what she was going to do. She did a few tricks and made a few grunting noises just to keep his attention.

  “If Brett comes back and catches you doing that, he’s going to skin my hide. Take your blanket and get back in bed like a good girl.”

  Cee Cee stuck out her tongue at him, then waddled over to her nest. She kept secrets there—a banana Brett didn’t know she had and the shiny stars move. Her hand closed around the tiny object, and she shambled back toward Malone.

  “Hey, I thought you were headed back to bed. Go on, now. Quick, before Brett gets back.”

  The door opened and Brett came through, bearing two glasses of orange juice.

  “Cee Cee, what are you doing up?”

  She stuck out her tongue, turned cartwheels, swung on her parallel bars. Brett set the juice on the coffee table and began to sign.

  “Stop that, Cee Cee. This is not the time to play.”

  She doubled her antics, adding sound effects.

  “She’s unusually agitated. Did anything happen while I was in the kitchen?”

  “No. She just started cutting up. I may have to give her something to calm her down.”

  “I’d rather not resort to that if I can help it.”

  Brett and Malone went inside her enclosure, and she led them on a merry pursuit that ended in a tussle with them both. She dropped the shiny object at Malone’s feet.

  “Hey ...” He picked up the earring. “Where did this come from?”

  Brett stared at the earring, remembering how its mate had looked against Ruth’s skin ... and how much he’d wanted her, how much he wanted her still.

  In that brief moment when Brett let his guard down, Malone saw naked desire on his brother’s face. His jaw tightened and his hands balled into fists.

  “No wonder you didn’t want to donate sperm.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You play the almighty saint, not wanting to get involved in my little problem, and all the while you’re carrying my wife’s earring around in your pocket. You don’t want to artificially inseminate her. You want to make love to her.”

  Brett had never been so close to hitting his brother.

  “Get out of this cage! But whatever you do, don’t upset Cee Cee.”

  Far from being upset, Cee Cee shambled off to her nest and lay among her blankets with a smile on her face.

  “Calm down, hell. My wife was here for four days. What other souvenirs did you take besides her earring?”

  Brett grabbed Malone by the shoulders and shoved him onto the sofa.

  “Don’t move!” He whirled back around and fastened Cee Cee’s enclosure, then hauled Malone up by the front of his shirt and marched him into his office. “I won’t listen to you making filthy accusations about a woman who has been nothing but good to you. No, not just good. She’s been a saint. Putting up with your drinking, your childishness.” Brett banged his fists on the top of his desk. A can of pencils overturned and rolled to the floor. “How dare you besmirch her honor—and mine!”

  Malone had never seen Brett so mad. But he was pretty damned pissed himself.

  “Are you telling me you kept a beautiful woman like Ruth up here for four days and didn’t once give in to your animal instincts?”

  “The thing that separates us from the animals is conscience.”

  “You don’t deny it?”

  “I won’t dignify it with a denial.”

  Malone tossed the earring onto the desk. “How are you going to explain that?”

  “Cee Cee.”

  “Oh, sure. Blame the ape.”

  The way Brett looked at him made Malone feel like a worm. Now that he’d had time to think, he knew Brett would never touch Ruth, even if he wanted to. He was too damned noble, too damned honorable.

  Silence thundered between them. When it became painfully obvious to him that for once Brett was not going to come to his rescue, Malone rubbed his hand over his tired face.

  “I guess I made a mistake, huh?”

  “A mistake? I’m not going to let you get by with calling your behavior a mistake.”

  “All right. All right. I apologize. I had no right to jump to conclusions. Ruth would never betray me, and neither would you. I’m sorry. That’s all I can say.”

  “That’s all that’s necessary.” Brett put a hand on his shoulder.

  “I guess this means you won’t be giving me any seed for a little crop of Cordays?”

  Brett knew he should say no. Malone had given him the perfect opportunity to back out of the deal.

  A shaft of moonlight glinted on Ruth’s earring. He could picture her bending over her notes, golden earrings gleaming against her skin, her chair pushed far enough away from her desk to accommodate the child she carried in her womb.

  His child. It could be no other.

  “No. I haven’t changed my mind. Have you?”

  “Hell, no.” Feeling foolishly close to tears, Malone hugged Brett. “What would I do without a brother like you?”

  “I hope neither of us ever has to find out.”

  Chapter 57

  LOS ANGELES

  The report lay open on his desk. Max picked it up and read it once more. His man had been thorough. Everything was there: the name of the doctor, the day, even the precise hour when Ruth Corday had walked into a clinic in Nairobi and become impregnated with donor sperm.

  If she’d stayed with him, she would never have had reason to use another man’s sperm. But no matter. She was young. She could have more.

  He folded the report carefully, then filed it along with the rest. Outside his window he could see the florist’s van bringing the twice-weekly delivery of white roses. The entire house, even the exercise room, was full o
f their fragrance.

  Max mounted the stationary bike and began to pedal. It took him twenty minutes to work up a sweat. He prided himself on having the body of a man twenty years his junior.

  It was easy to stay in shape when he had a purpose.

  The rhythm of the wheels hypnotized him. Each rotation whispered her name.

  “Soon, Ruth,” he said. “Very soon.”

  Chapter 58

  How would he feel when he saw her?

  On his brother’s front porch Brett paused in the process of knocking. He could go back to his camp now. No one would ever know he’d been there.

  Leave.

  He couldn’t see her now, not knowing what he knew. She’d look at him and see it in his face.

  From inside came the sound of music, a haunting blues tune sung in a low, throaty voice. Ruth singing. The lamplight gleaming on her hair. A tender blue vein pulsing in her throat.

  He felt like weeping.

  When the song ceased, he heard his brother’s voice.

  “Play something lively, Ruth. Something to celebrate.”

  “Let her play what she wants to,” Joseph said. “Eleanor always told me the only time she ever got her way was when she was pregnant.”

  “I didn’t say that. You made that up, Joseph Corday.”

  The sound of his family’s laughter drifted out to him. They were all in high spirits, celebrating.

  If he didn’t go in, they’d wonder why. Steeling himself for the sight of her, Brett pushed open the door.

  “Well, look who’s here.” Malone left his place beside the piano and clasped Brett’s shoulder. “What took you so long, bro?”

  “Cee Cee was in one of her moods.” He realized suddenly that the secret he kept was already starting to erode the family. Now he was reduced to lying. “Hello, everybody.”

  Ruth lifted her eyes to his, and he caught a fleeting glimpse of something deep inside, something immeasurably sad.

  Brett couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. She carried his seed. Though she was months away from showing, she already had the look of a woman carrying a child in her womb—a deep glow that transformed her. She had always been a beautiful woman, but now she was radiant.

  “Brett.” She left the piano and took his hands, her natural Southern charm overcoming whatever obstacles she might have felt. “I’m so glad you could come.”

  “I wouldn’t have missed this celebration.”

  “We don’t even know if there’s anything to celebrate yet, but Malone insisted.”

  “Hell, yes, there’s something to celebrate.”

  Malone put his arm around her waist and dragged her close. Her eyes never left Brett’s.

  “How can you be so sure?” Joseph asked, teasing.

  “Because Ruth made up her mind to get pregnant, and when she makes up her mind to something, it’s as good as done.”

  Although it would be a while before her pregnancy could be officially confirmed, Ruth already knew, had known from the moment a stranger’s seed entered her body. It was as if she and the son she would have were communicating in some secret way.

  With her hand on her womb, a sweet, deep joy flooded her ... and the most unutterable sadness she had ever known, as if her unborn son were pushing her toward Brett and away from him at the same time.

  “Never underestimate the power of a woman,” Eleanor said.

  “Especially a Corday woman.” Joseph winked at her.

  “Especially a Corday,” she agreed. “We’re so happy about this baby, Ruth. It will give us all something to think about besides gorillas.”

  “Are you saying I spend too much time in the jungle, Eleanor?”

  “No, Joseph, I didn’t say that. You did.”

  “Ha. My kid will have to take a map to find either one of his grandparents. You both spend too much time in the wild.”

  “Are you saying we’re getting too old?” Joseph patted his gray hair.

  “No, Joseph. Malone didn’t say that—you did.”

  Eleanor was glad to see her family together again, laughing. It had been a long time since they’d been together—not since Margaret Anne Bellafontaine’s disastrous visit. It was amazing to her that a tiny unborn baby could accomplish what all her planning and scheming could not. Family unity. Family harmony.

  Her oldest son was unusually quiet, even for him. It didn’t take a genius to know the reason, but Eleanor had long since stopped worrying about that. Not that she ever had any reason in the first place, knowing her son as well as she did—and knowing Ruth as she’d come to. Over and over she had shown her loyalty to her husband.

  “You’ve hardly said a word, Brett,” Eleanor said, trying to draw him into the center of the family circle.

  “He’s still getting used to the idea of being an uncle.” Malone clapped his brother on the shoulder. “Right, Brett?”

  “Right.”

  Brett couldn’t look at Ruth. In one blinding moment he understood the enormity of what he had done: In giving his brother what he wanted, he had betrayed the woman he loved.

  If seeing her now was unbearable, what would it be like after the baby was born? How would he feel to hear his child calling another man Daddy ... even if that man was his brother?

  “What are you going to name the baby?” Joseph asked.

  “Malone,” Ruth said, careful to keep her eyes on her husband. “After his father.”

  Brett sat in his chair as quiet as a stalking tiger. He had deliberately chosen a chair that turned his blind side to Ruth, but it didn’t help. When he’d slipped in the back door of the clinic in Nairobi, he’d emptied himself of more than his seed: He’d emptied himself of his heart. Now there was no hope for them.

  There never had been, really.

  He wondered that nobody could see his rage. He wondered how it was possible to love a woman ... and hate her at the same time.

  “See, I told you. Not only did she make up her mind to have a child, but she’s already made up her mind it’s a boy.” For the first time in his life Malone was the center of attention, and he took full advantage, moving to the middle of the room like an actor on a stage. “We’re going to take a vacation in Hawaii, just the three of us, and when we get back, Ruth’s belly will be so big, I’ll have to have help her through the front door.”

  “At three months?” Joseph turned to his wife, grinning. “Eleanor, didn’t you teach this boy about the birds and the bees?”

  “No, Joseph. You did.”

  Joseph laughed. “Let that be a lesson to you, Malone. No matter what you do, everything’s always going to be your fault.”

  “I already know that, but I don’t care. The kissing and making up is worth it... . As I was saying ... Hey, it’s about time somebody else said something around here. I’m running out of breath.”

  “What you’re running out of is hot air,” Joseph said.

  “Malone’s right. It is about time somebody else took the floor,” Brett said, standing up.

  No matter what else he felt, one thing was certain: He loved his brother. He would always love his brother.

  Ruth had made punch for the occasion. When Eleanor saw his intent, she helped him pour and pass around the glasses. Brett lifted his high.

  “I propose a toast to Malone Corday, the finest brother a man could ever have, and to his wife, Ruth ...” He almost lost his courage when he looked at her. Unconsciously, she pressed her hand against her womb. “... a wonderful sister-in-law, and to their unborn child. May he possess his mother’s beauty and intelligence, his father’s strength and courage, and his own passion for life that will lift him out of the ordinary and into the realms of angels.”

  The Cordays intertwined arms and lifted their glasses, and Ruth found herself linked to the man she was married to, and the man she loved. The thought of her baby carried her through.

  Though Ruth had conceived her child partially as a means of cementing a shaky marriage, the moment her egg had received the donor sperm, s
he had loved the baby for himself. He was a separate person, pure and innocent, and she would move heaven and earth to see that Brett’s wish for him came true.

  Strength poured through her, and she knew that whatever happened, she would endure.

  Chapter 59

  HAWAII

  Wearing a panama hat with a red ribbon and a loose smock embroidered with red and yellow birds, Ruth moved among the flower and fruit stalls, her arms loaded with packages. She had officially completed all work on her doctorate that day, and later she and Malone would celebrate. She spotted a large display of lokelani, heavenly rose. The small pink flowers were innocent looking, sweetly scented, perfectly formed. They would make a beautiful centerpiece.

  She purchased enough for a bouquet and added that to her growing mound of packages.

  He stood behind one of the stalls watching her. She had grown even more beautiful with age, more desirable. It pleased him to know this ... and to feel the passion that flowed through him hot as lava. She paused to heft a large coconut, and her mountain of packages tilted precariously.

  Max moved quickly, coming behind her and wrapping one arm around her waist to catch the bundles before they fell.

  “Let me help you with those, Ruth.”

  Her entire body stiffened. She turned slowly, her eyes as wide and frightened as when she’d first awakened in his bed in New Orleans.

  Her fear pleased him. It meant he still had power over her; it meant he could still control her.

  “I don’t need your help.” She jerked away from him so fast, her packages toppled. On her knees, she glared at him. “Leave, Max.”

  Laughing, he knelt beside her close enough that his leg touched hers. Explosions of pleasure made him actually groan aloud.

  “You disgust me,” she said.

  “Your face gives you away, Ruth. That flush is not disgust, it’s desire. I’ve seen it enough to know.”

  She struggled to rise with her unwieldy packages, but the slight bulge in her abdomen hampered her.