Chapter Twenty
If This Is Love
Robin reread the pink telephone message Jan had deposited on her desk a while ago. Donna had called, as she had at least once every day since that night six weeks ago. What a bust. Donna enjoyed it, got what she wanted and didn’t even notice that Robin’s body was there but her mind and heart were…elsewhere. A taker, for sure, willing to put up with a shell as long as it came with money and serviced her on demand. Damn, she didn’t like being so mean-spirited, but the difference between someone like Donna and someone like Lily was…
“Be careful,” Jan had warned this morning. “Donna insisted you would want to talk to her after the hot night you’d spent together and she’s probably going to be stalking you outside the office one of these days.” Robin sighed. Why was it so difficult for some women to understand about no commitment? Lily understood.
Robin idly crosshatched the circles, squares and triangles she’d drawn on the pink slip, then added a few arrows and question marks to her doodles. Was she in love? How much time does it take to fall in love? Some believe in love at first sight. Is that what happened? Had she already fallen in love when she mouthed “I love you” to Lily that first night? Others talk about hours or days or weeks or months or even years before they knew. She swiveled her chair and stared out the window. The Statue of Liberty usually calmed her, helped her focus, but not lately.
She’d not heard a word from Lily. On the other hand, she hadn’t taken the initiative to call, though she’d thought about Lily every minute of every day in these six long weeks. She wondered what Lily was doing, wondered how she was feeling, wondered whether she thought about her. Did she feel abandoned by Robin, or was she relieved, as she had been when Micki dumped her? Her heart clutched. Selfish bitch. Because Lily had honored her promise and let her go without crying and begging, she’d pretended Lily wasn’t in pain.
Her office door opened and someone plopped down in one of the chairs facing her desk. Only Jan or Katie would come in unannounced. She guessed Katie, since Jan had already spent days probing to find out what the hell was going on. Katie tended to let her be so she could solve it for herself and only intervened when it was clear that wasn’t happening.
“Want to talk about it?”
She swiveled to face Katie. She shrugged. “I’m not sure I know how to.”
“Let’s go out for dinner, some place private where we can talk.” She stood and made a shooing motion with her hands. “Up. Get a move on.”
Downstairs, Katie flagged a cab. “Any ideas about where we can eat and talk?”
Robin leaned forward and spoke to the driver. “LaSalle and Broadway, please.”
Katie raised her eyebrows.
“Italian. I assure you we won’t meet anyone we know there. It’s One hundred twenty-fourth Street, I think.”
When they were seated in a quiet corner, Katie ordered a glass of chianti and Robin her usual seltzer and lime, and they both ordered salads and pasta. Katie looked around. “Reminds me of when we were students.”
“Good guess. Columbia University and Barnard are just down Broadway.”
“How did you—?” The look on Robin’s face answered her question. “Lily brought you here.”
“She did.” Robin fiddled with her silverware. Their dinner had been romantic, intimate, and it was then she caught herself in a fantasy about marrying Lily. Scared the shit out of her.
“So what happened with Lily? You seemed so happy dating her I thought she was the one. Then, all of a sudden, you stopped seeing her.”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“As long as it takes.” Katie grinned. “I told Michael I might sleep at your place tonight.” She lifted her wine glass. “To friendship. And sharing.”
The waitress arrived with their pastas, got refills on their drinks, then left them to it.
“So tell me?” Robin looked ready to run, so Katie automatically shifted to the process she’d worked out to help Robin deal with her issues. “Okay. I’ll start. The night of the IPO you spotted this sexy blonde across the room and fell into lust.” She looked up.
Robin nodded.
“And even though she left before you could seduce her with your sexy green eyes, lovely body, I-only-want-to-have-fun attitude and the billion dollars in your wallet, you managed to find her. Am I right so far?”
Robin grinned. “So far so good.”
“Emma said she had dinner with you, Lily and Lily’s friend Annie, who she’s now dating, and she thought Lily was definitely enamored.”
“I thought so too. Go on.”
“You have to finish the story, Rob. You’ve always succeeded at getting what you want so I can’t imagine what went wrong.”
Robin twirled pasta on her fork and put it in her mouth. She chewed slowly, thinking. “After the night I first saw her, I couldn’t get her out of mind or my dreams, so I went back to Shazarak every night the following week. I couldn’t admit to myself that I was desperate to find her, so most nights I went with my usual going-out crowd and the intention of finding someone to go home with. No one seemed attractive, and I went home alone every night. The night I found her I’d gone after working late and I was alone.”
“Jan told me you’d ditched your entourage once you found Lily. Interesting.”
Robin didn’t comment on that comment. “She was even more sexy up close and her voice…Anyway, she told me she’d been looking for me too. When I tried my seductive powers on her she said what would we tell our children if we jumped right into bed.”
Katie laughed. “Your children?”
“Yeah, that was my reaction too, but she said she wanted to carry my babies, two of them. I actually had a nightmare about murdering babies that night. It’s the kind of thing you’d think would turn me off, right? But it had the exact opposite effect. I was ready to throw her on the floor and have sex right there in the middle of Shazarak. ”
“But you didn’t, I assume?”
“No. She said no making love until we dated and got to know each other. Notice that I said sex, she said making love. And it wasn’t just using different words. I was befuddled by her, but I was sure I’d get my way sooner rather than later, so we talked and danced until the club closed, then she wouldn’t let me in her apartment so we necked in her hallway until I was weak in the knees.”
The waitress removed their pasta dishes, brought their salads and refilled their glasses.
Katie eyed her. “Necking in hallways? Was the sex worth it?”
“That’s just it. There was no sex.”
“You dated her what, a month? And no sex. Is that why you split?”
“Yes. No. Sort of.”
“Really?”
“Actually, she agreed to have sex after our second or third date, but somehow things got in the way: her friend needed a place to stay, her mother was in town for a few days, we were tired after volunteering at a soup kitchen, I was exhausted after London. She admitted she could have been more aggressive about making time, but she was jilted last December and has trust issues and a problem committing.”
“Sounds perfect since you’re not into commitment.” Katie frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m not sure I do either. For her, having sex means making love, means commitment. It was just sex to me—seduce her, have fun, then move on. But then I got to know her and care about her and though I was, and am, still ready to toss her into bed, I worried I would hurt her if we had sex and I walked away. I think I scared myself because I started thinking it wasn’t just about sex and if it wasn’t just sex, then it meant commitment. I don’t do commitment. The clincher was the night we had dinner here and I had a fantasy about us getting married.”
“And you ran?”
Robin nodded. “That other woman didn’t show up at the church on their wedding day and left her to clean up the mess. I can’t. I wouldn’t. She’s wonderful. Christ, Katie, she’s brilliant and sensual and fun and honest and loving
and down to earth and she doesn’t give a damn about my money. We haven’t gotten near a bed and yet I know it will be off the charts. And,” her voice broke, “she says she wants to have my babies.”
Katie reached for Robin’s hand. “Oh, Rob honey, you have it bad. I do believe you’re in love.”
Robin’s head jerked. “In love? Then why do I feel so bad?”
Chapter Twenty-One
Let the Wooing Begin
Annie and Lily were eating take out Thai when Lily’s intercom buzzed. “Delivery coming up, Ms. Alexander.”
“It must be a mistake, Lewis. We already received the food we were expecting.” But her doorbell was already ringing. She opened the door to a man struggling with a humongous flower arrangement. She pointed to the hall table, then tipped him.
“Wow. Who sent it?” Annie walked over to watch her read the card.
“It says ‘Missing you, Robin.’”
Annie raised a fist in the air. “Yes. It’s taken almost seven weeks, but she’s come through. Are you going to call her to thank her?”
Lily stared at the obviously expensive flowers. “Let’s eat.”
“Let’s eat?” Annie’s voice went up an octave. “You’ve been mooning around wanting to see Robin and suddenly you don’t care?” She followed Lily to the dinning room table, grabbed her chopsticks and plucked a shrimp from her pad thai. As she chewed, she watched Lily pick at her drunken noodles.
“Those flowers are generic; they’re not for me. I’ll bet she told her assistant to send them, and this is the standard arrangement any woman would get. And the note is typed, not personal. I want her to see me, Annie. I thought she got me, but maybe I’ve been wrong, maybe I really was just another conquest for her.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“Nothing.” She glanced at the card she was still holding. “Actually, I’m sending them back.”
“To the florist?”
She walked to the hall, replaced the card in the flowers, then sat at the table again. “To her office.” She googled the address, then called the messenger service she used for deliveries to her agent.
“Are you going to attach a note explaining?”
“Nope. Either she gets me or she doesn’t.”
Annie frowned. “Maybe you should talk this over with Hillary before you do anything.”
Lily narrowed her eyes. “You know therapists listen, they don’t talk. Hillary wouldn’t give her opinion.”
“I don’t know, Lily. As you asked, Emma and I haven’t discussed you and Robin since you stopped seeing each other, but from the little she said before that and based on what you’ve said and what I saw Robin was really into you. Maybe she wanted to give you the space to find yourself. Or maybe she needed to find herself. Whatever. She sent a peace offering. You should call her.”
“Thanks to therapy, I trust myself again. But I’m not sure I trust Robin. Trust that she really sees Lily, the person, not the body, and that she really cares about the person, not just the sex. I’m in love with her and it’s up to her to show me she’s ready to commit. I am.”
* * *
Jan and Katie watched Robin finger the huge arrangement of flowers standing in the middle of the conference table in her office. “Was there a note?”
Jan shook her head. “The envelope was torn so she obviously read the card, but then it was scotch taped and sent here to you.”
Robin sat with her elbows on the table holding her head in her hands. “Shit.”
“Based on what you’ve told us,” Katie said, “I would bet she’s in love with you too. Don’t you think so, Jan?”
“I agree.”
“So I think it’s just a matter of getting it right.” Katie put her hands on Robin’s shoulders. “Don’t get depressed. Let’s analyze this. Is there something about these particular flowers she might hate?”
Robin looked up at the gigantic arrangement and thought about Lily. “Jan, is this the standard bouquet you send when I want to say I’m sorry?”
“Yes. That’s what you said you needed.”
Robin smiled. “I bet she hated it.”
Jan frowned. “But how would she know it was the same arrangement you’ve sent other women?”
Robin paced around the table, looking at the flowers from all angles. “Well, she’s a romance writer for one, so she knows about these things. Also, from the first time we met, she got that I was a player with lots of women. And, third, she would hate something so showy and impersonal.”
Jan thought for a minute. “You think she’d like a smaller arrangement?”
“That’s good, more personal, right, Katie?”
“I really don’t know her. It’s worth a try.”
Jan nodded. “I’ll have it delivered tonight.”
* * *
Maybe this was a waste of everybody’s time and Robin’s money. Lily shook her head as she read the card enclosed with the smaller arrangement of flowers.
Missing you, Robin.
The flowers were beautiful and the sentiment sweet. But the card was typed again, and the flowers were still a generic arrangement, so it didn’t feel at all personal. Clearly, Robin didn’t get her.
At eight the next morning she called the florist to find out whether Robin had ordered the flowers herself. She hung up, then called the messenger service.
* * *
Later that morning, Katie and Jan followed Robin into her office. When she spotted the flower arrangement on her desk, she turned. “Lily’s?”
The two women nodded, then Katie said, “Tell her, Jan.”
“The florist said he got a call first thing this morning from Lily. She said she didn’t know who sent the flowers, were they by chance from DiLuca Technology? When he said yes, she said ‘oh, from Jan, I don’t remember her name,’ and he said ‘yes, Jan Haskell.’ He was very apologetic about revealing my name.”
Robin rubbed her face. “Now what?”
“We can—”
“No.” Katie cut Jan off. “Clearly, this is about you and Lily. The gifts or whatever have to be something you think she’ll appreciate, something personal to the two of you, something that shows you understand her. Jan and I have to step back.”
“But I don’t know—”
“Don’t whine, Rob.” Katie jumped in again. “You are a very romantic woman and you’re really into Lily. I suggest you think about her and come up with something romantic and personal, then you, not Jan, make it happen. Capiche?” She turned to Jan. “You and I need to stay out of it. Let’s go to work.”
“Hey, can I at least have one of Jan’s assistants bring me coffee and a muffin so I can eat while I ponder this issue?”
Robin sat with her feet up on her desk, sipping her coffee and nibbling her corn muffin. Lily liked simple things. A small bouquet of colorful flowers should do it. She started to pick up the phone, but remembering Katie’s instructions she stood and strolled out of the office. “Be back in a little while.”
She headed for the fancy florist that DCTI used but changed her mind. Using her phone she looked up florists on the Upper West Side, then took a taxi to a small shop on West Seventy-second Street. The woman who took the order suggested a colorful selection of mixed flowers. Robin paid with her personal American Express and wrote a card.
Would love to see you and talk, Robin.
Whistling, she strolled downtown and hopped on the subway to her office.
* * *
Lily smiled. This was more like it. The lovely bouquet of flowers was from a local Upper West Side florist and the card was in Robin’s handwriting. She was getting warm. Should she call her? Too soon. It could be a fluke. She’d call the florist tomorrow just to be sure.
* * *
When the flowers hadn’t arrived at her office by noon, Robin called the florist to ask if they’d been delivered. The woman checked. “About six last night,” she said, “and the young lady called this morning to say how lovely they were. She said she was
n’t sure about the card. She described you and asked if you had come in to order the flowers. I hope you don’t mind, I confirmed it.”
“No, that’s fine. Did she say anything else?”
“Just ‘thank you.’”
She kept them. But now what? Something else? Chocolate. Lily loved the chocolate dessert at the River Café. And chocolates from a Belgian chocolates place on Madison Avenue usually were a hit when she sent them. Jan usually took care of it but not this time. She took a taxi uptown and selected an assortment, not the usual humungous one, a human-sized one, and wrote a note.
Sweets for the sweetest Southern girl I know. Would love to talk, Robin.
She paid to have it delivered and went back to work.
Robin was puzzled to find the candy on her desk the next morning. Why wouldn’t she like chocolate? Come to think of it, Lily rarely ate dessert so maybe she watched her weight. Or perhaps sending chocolate was too run-of-the-mill for her, too generic. What did Lily want from her? Was she supposed to jump through hoops just to get her attention? Damn her. No, don’t damn her. At the River Café she’d surprised Lily with the chocolate Brooklyn Bridge dessert that was their specialty and she’d loved it. She thought about that evening and Lily’s delight in the dessert and realized it was the whimsy of it, not that it was chocolate.
Lily was testing her, maybe wanting to see how far she’d go to get back together. Well, she didn’t build a multibillion-dollar business by waiting for something to happen. Lily didn’t know whom she was dealing with. She’d really think about the next step, try to get it right and not send anything until she’d broken the code. A couple of things she was sure of, Lily was playful, unpretentious and didn’t care about her billion dollars.
She taxied over to the River Café, ordered the Brooklyn Bridge dessert, paid for it and delivery and wrote yet another note.
Walking the bridge was romantic, wasn’t it? Chew on the Brooklyn Bridge and think about me, about us, Robin.
No One But You Page 12