“You don’t have to come out. I mean, we had planned to have you both at the house and make dinner.”
“Bloody hell, sweet Kate, forget all of that. We’re coming anyway. Where are you staying?”
“Shutters on the Beach.”
“Oh, lovely. I think I may have been banned from there years ago. I’ll have James put the reservation in his name then. We’ll see you this afternoon.”
Kate hung up the phone; she was really lucky to have such great friends. She could picture Grace, bundled up and hailing a cab headed for JFK. By tomorrow, she’d be surrounded by people who loved her. But for now, she was alone. Alone with her thoughts and alone with the pain of what she’d done. Kate drove to the beach instead. She needed to think and figure out her life. Would she stay in California or head back to New York? Before she even stepped foot on the beach, she knew the answer.
Chapter Sixty
By the time Andrew and James pulled up at Shutters, Kate was waiting for them outside. James put the car in Park and handed his keys to the valet. Andrew walked over to Kate; several heads turned when he did.
“My darling, Kate.” He hugged her. “How are you? We would have been here sooner, but James insisted on driving. He likes to obey the laws—something I’ve always had a problem with.”
Kate managed a smile; it was good to see her friends again. “I’m glad you’re here.” She looked around; people were still staring. Andrew leaned in and whispered, “I bet they all think I’m Mick Jaggar. Should I kiss James and watch the tabloids all report tomorrow that Mickey is gay?” Kate chuckled; Andrew’s humor was just what she needed to get her through this day.
“James, my love, let’s go inside.” He turned to Kate. “We got a suite. Well, James did.”
James left their luggage with the bellman, and after getting their keys, they ushered Kate into the elevator. While all the rooms at Shutters were lovely, the suites were particularly extraordinary. Often catering to the very rich and the occasional celebrity, the rooms were appointed with Jacuzzi tubs, a Bose stereo sound system, and a state-of-the-art high definition flat panel television in every room—even the bathrooms. There were even two bathrooms, a full kitchen, and a dining room. It was more like an apartment than a hotel suite.
“We asked the hotel to order tequila,” James smiled, “lots of it.”
Andrew kissed him on the cheek. “James’s margaritas, of course.”
“Perfect. I can drown my sorrows and try to forget what a hideous person I am.”
Andrew took her hand and pulled her over to the couch; she sank into one of the soft cushions.
“Katharine Mitchell, listen to me closely.” Andrew began. Kate was certain she’d never heard him this stern. “You made a mistake, that’s all. We’ve all been there. God knows I have. But you aren’t a hideous person. You stopped this before it was too late.”
“I hurt Nick,” she said, deflated.
“Yes, you did, but you would have hurt him anyway. Even if you hadn’t been engaged. Pain is pain. At least you stopped it before it got completely out of control.”
Kate nodded, although she wasn’t sure if it hadn’t gotten out of control already. They were living together, engaged. It was all a ridiculous mess.
There was a knock at the door. “That’ll be room service,” James said and opened the door. A cart was wheeled in with several covered dishes and three bottles of tequila.
“Did you bring the mix?” he asked the waiter.
“Yes, Sir. It’s on the tray below.” He pointed down to a second shelf. “And there’s a blender in the cabinet.”
“Thank you.” James signed the bill and grabbed the bottles. “Margaritas coming up, and in the meantime, we also ordered food. Andrew was certain you hadn’t eaten either.”
“You two are too good to me.” She felt her throat catch; their kindness almost overwhelmed her. She looked down at her skirt, remembering she’d thrown it on at some ungodly hour this morning before she’d left Nick’s house. It was wrinkled and needed ironing. She tried to smooth the skirt and tuck an unruly strand of hair behind her ear. Andrew stopped her hand. “It’s okay, Love. You look beautiful.”
She sighed. “I do get it now how it happens—how easy it is to just let stuff be.”
Andrew frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I never understood how Mac could do it. You know, have a wife and a second life that didn’t even include her, and have all of these relationships on the side. Why not just do the right thing? But it’s easier just to let sleeping dogs lie. Just keep the status quo. You get so caught up in the story of why your life has to be the way it is that it just takes over. Suddenly, you find yourself in the middle of your story and realize it’s too late to turn back.”
Andrew nodded. “Yes, it’s a lot harder to do what you did.”
“He finally did it, though, you know—divorced her.”
“I know. Is that why you left Nick?”
“No. Well, yes, but it’s not because I wanted to run to Mac. I just realized I didn’t love Nick the way I should, and that all this running I did—running from something and someone—I never faced my life and what happened.”
“It’s easier to run, Love. I know that first hand.”
Kate nodded. “It is easier, but we all have to go home.”
“And where is home for you now?”
Kate smiled. “New York. I’m going home, Andrew. It’s time.”
…
They all went to pick Grace up the next day; Andrew drew a crowd and signed a few autographs as they waited for her friend. When Grace finally emerged from the terminal, Kate felt every possible emotion well up in her: the months since her departure from New York, the long, long nights wishing that things had gone differently, and then, the slow rise back into publishing with one man at her side—Nick. Now he was gone, and she was left to face what she should have faced months ago. Grace hugged her friend tightly and Kate fought back more hot tears. “It’s going to be okay, Katie. I promise you it’s going to be okay.” And somehow, Kate believed her.
Chapter Sixty-One
Two Christmases in a row were not worth remembering, ever. Kate was never happier to buy a new calendar. Christmas had come and gone without a word from Nick. Not that she expected to hear from him. He was devastated and it was her fault. But she wanted to make it right; she was going to fix this with Nick, eventually.
Andrew and James left just before the New Year, and though Grace insisted on staying longer, Kate needed everyone to go. She wanted to be on her own to figure this all out.
Her future, her life.
Not since before she’d left New York in June had she been alone. She’d come to California and within weeks had fallen into her relationship with Nick. Now he was gone. Although she’d tried to call him, her calls went to voicemail and texts remained unanswered.
It was now January 6, and, gradually, the world was starting to come back online. Kate settled into the back of a cab and was on her way to New York. For the first time since June, she was returning to the city she had once loved so much. A twinge of anxiety curled in her stomach.
LAX was bustling with people and travelers, many probably heading home after the holiday break. Kate was headed home, too, although with all that happened it seemed like it had been a lifetime since she’d been back.
Chapter Sixty-Two
“Hey, Dad!” Daniel Ellis, Mac’s eldest son, said through the phone.
“Hey, Danny. How’s it going?”
“Fine. I’m headed back to school this week, but I wanted to see how you were doing. You have an interview today?”
Mac had gotten the call from a headhunter for an editorial position. The firm was letting their editor go, so it was all a bit hush-hush. He didn’t know much more than that, but that was fine by him. He needed a job. Not financially, but he needed to get back into the game, and, moreover, he needed to keep busy. The busier he was, the less he thought about Kate.
&n
bsp; “Yes, in fact. I’m leaving here shortly.”
“Where is it?”
“No idea, but they promised it’s a good house. So we’ll see.”
His son paused for a moment. “I met Mom’s boyfriend over New Year’s.”
Mac smiled. Carolyn was happy. He was miserable. The irony didn’t escape him. “How did that go?”
“He’s young. He could be my older brother.”
“Dan, your mom is having fun. Let her enjoy this. He seems nice enough.”
Daniel chuckled through the phone. “Yeah, nice and young. Does this make Mom a cougar now?”
Carolyn a cougar. If her father was still alive, he would have no doubt locked her in her room until she came to her senses. “I don’t know, Dan, but it makes her happy, and isn’t that what matters?”
“Dad,” his son began, “are you happy?”
Mac sighed. He had been happy once, on top of the world happy. Now he was just existing. “Of course I am,” he lied.
“I hope so. David and I want to see you happy, too,” his son added, referring to his younger brother.
“Look, I will call you later. I need to go to this interview.”
“Text me. I’m catching a train. I’ll call you when I get to school.”
“Love you.”
His son clicked off and Mac headed out the door. Carolyn a cougar. Mac couldn’t help but smile.
He took the subway to Union Square; it would be a short walk from there. It had been years since he’d been on an interviewed, but it felt good to be back in the race. Well, sort of back. Trying to get back after a long, slow fall.
The morning he’d left Los Angeles, he hadn’t really expected Kate to come to his hotel, but he had been hopeful. She’d been through so much; he wasn’t expecting her to forgive him. But when he heard she was getting married, it nearly stopped his heart. He hadn’t been with a woman since Kate, and he figured that must be some sort of record. But everything was changing. Kate was a publisher and Mac was without a woman at his side. The world was turned upside down.
He arrived in plenty of time for his interview. He knew from his headhunter that this wasn’t a big publisher, but one with a lot of promise. He liked promise. He was eager to see what this was all about. He headed up twelve floors and stepped out of the elevator. When he did, what he saw startled him. The name on the double glass doors was unmistakable: Lavigne House. His headhunter had said, “A prior editor had left.”
Mac instantly lost his composure. Was he in the right place? He saw Lulu from behind the glass doors. She raced through them and hugged him. “Mac!” She smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“This is the interview?”
Lulu nodded, unable to contain her excitement. “Right through here.”
Lulu led him through reception and into a fairly vacant office.
“Kate will be right with you.” She smiled and then vanished to the front area.
There were several cubicles and a few offices. He noticed Kate’s name on one of the doors, his name on another.
“Hello, Mac.” Kate walked up to him. A familiar exhilarating thread wove through her. Her heart sped up and her body tingled. Desire, hot and smoldering, burned somewhere deep within her.
“Kate…I…what’s this about?” Mac looked different, tired somehow, maybe defeated. But the intensity of his gaze still heated her.
“Are you still interested in the editor position?”
“Yes, but Kate, look, I think you were right. It’ll be too hard to work together, especially with you marrying Nick.” Of course, Lulu had told him about the wedding.
Somewhere in her grief of ending things with Nick, she’d realized Mac had been right. It wasn’t right; though she loved him and she probably always would, she had never been in love with him like she was with Mac.
She shook her head. “That didn’t prove to be such a great idea, especially since I am in love with someone else.”
Mac cocked an eyebrow. “Anyone I know?” He walked toward her and this time she didn’t try to back away. He took her hands, the spark reverberating through her body, and she could swear she heard the “Hallelujah Chorus” in her head.
Kate smiled up at him. She was home, finally and forever. “So, will you accept my offer?” she teased. “I know we have humble beginnings, but I know if we’re together, there isn’t anything we can’t accomplish.”
Mac didn’t respond but leaned in to kiss her. He pulled her to him, and as she always did, she melted. His kiss was warm, hot, passionate, and welcoming.
There was no pause of uncertainty, no hesitation. This was where she was meant to be and the man she was meant to be with.
Epilogue
“Darling!” Andrew called out when Kate walked into his dressing room. “It’s not fair that you look more stunning than the bride,” he chirped. Kate wore a pale blue sheath dress that touched just above her knee. It was sleeveless with a delicate scoop neckline, perfect for a lovely fall day in California. Her hair was pinned up just the way Mac liked it.
Kate arched an eyebrow. “Well, thank you, but I have to ask, are you the bride or the groom? I’m not sure of the etiquette here.”
A rolling laughter erupted from Andrew’s throat. “Two men getting married. I’m not sure Emily Post really has an answer for that.”
Kate walked over to her friend and ran her hands along his smooth tuxedo jacket. “You look every bit the rock star, Andrew.” she pecked him on the cheek.
“Though not drunk or high, which is always helpful when you’re getting married.”
“Well, unless you’re Amy Winehouse, bless her poor, lost soul.”
Just then, they heard a chopper overhead. “Bloody hell!” Andrew said. “I thought no one cared about an aging rocker who had just come out of the closet.”
A week prior, Andrew had announced his new book and revealed that the love of his life was James. He promised he’d tell all in his new memoir to be published by Lavigne House. People Magazine had been the first to ask if they could cover Andrew’s wedding. It was not an official wedding, but you couldn’t tell by the arrangements. Although it was James’s second wedding, Andrew (despite his many female conquests) had never been married, so the two went all out. And since a wedding in Las Vegas just seemed tacky—“even for a rocker,” Andrew had said—they decided to have it in Monterey, California. Their ceremony would be on the beach with a fabulous reception at the Monterey Peninsula Country Club—mostly in honor of James, who was an avid golfer.
Andrew turned to her. “I’m sure they’re only after Piper.” He grinned, referring to Piper Maru, his good friend and one of the many celebrity friends he and James had invited.
Kate leaned into him and hugged him. “I’m sure they’re not. Now, as your maid of honor, I demand that you finish getting ready so you’re not late to marry the love of your life.”
“And when will you marry the love of your life, Katie?” Andrew whispered. “He’s terribly delicious. If I were you, I’d keep the minister overtime and do this thing now.”
Kate blushed. In the last several months, she’d moved into his apartment and met his sons. They were the spitting image of their father. Her and Mac’s relationship was moving along, and frankly, she was happy the way things were. They attended parties, held hands, and kissed in public. They worked together to create the best possible publishing company, getting great authors and publishing quality books. When Mac first joined Lavigne House, the publishing world couldn’t get enough of the irony. Then when it was official that they were a couple, the invitations to launch parties and awards dinners overflowed their inbox. But most important to Kate was that Grace accepted Mac, and she had.
Kate had returned to California to have the rest of her things moved and to ship Grace’s car. It had been painful and final, and Nick had not been around when she arrived at the house. However, he’d left a note asking her to lock up after she left and indicating where to leave the keys. That was it. Th
ey were tethered together because of Allan’s book, and at some point, Kate planned to talk with Nick. Time was a great healer, and when the time was right, she would. She’d never stop caring about him and she would always love him, but only as a friend. If only she’d seen that sooner.
“Let’s go.” Kate smiled. “You have a man to marry who’s waited a long time for this.”
Andrew nodded. “Yes,” he smiled, “he has. I am the luckiest man on earth today.”
…
“Dance with me, Katie.” Mac leaned into her and her spine tingled. God, how she loved the sound of his voice in her ear.
“I’d love to, MacDermott.” She smiled.
Mac lifted her off of her chair. “Have I mentioned how beautiful you look?”
“Only a hundred times,” she smiled.
“Then here’s a hundred and one: You look beautiful.” His eyes filled with a wicked smile, a promise of things to come. He kissed her gently on the lips and the heat coiled inside her. She wondered if she would ever get used to his kisses or if her heart would always perk up when he touched her. She suspected it would.
“The Lavigne movie premiers in LA next week, then New York, and we have a lot of parties to go to.”
“I know,” she sighed, “we need to make sure and bring Lulu to some of them; she’ll have fits with all the celebs.”
Mac nodded. Kate noticed that he seemed a little lost in thought as they swayed to the music. “Carolyn is going overseas with her boyfriend. I wondered if you’d mind us hosting Thanksgiving with the boys?” Kate noticed that he seemed hesitant. As if he worried she might say no.
“Of course. I’d love to!” She was elated. Thanksgiving—a holiday. It was all so new, being a part of Mac’s family, or, well, knowing his sons.
…
“Hang on.” Mac got up and closed his office door. “I can’t meet you, Elizabeth.” Mac said quietly into his phone.
“Please, Mac. I just need to see you.”
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