The Publicist Book One and Two

by Christina George

  “Lizzy, things are different now.”

  “I know they are. I just need to talk to you about something.”

  Mac hesitated. He wasn’t at all sure this was a good idea. He and Elizabeth had dated for a year before he’d started seeing Kate. It hadn’t ended well; Lizzy had wanted more. Children, a home, a husband. He’d loved her, but it was not what he felt for Kate. Although the end of the relationship had hurt, and when Lizzy decided to leave Morris and Dean it was heartbreaking for both of them. He hadn’t seen her since her final day there. She had refused all his attempts to reach out and make sure she was okay. She’d left publishing to become a freelance editor and had virtually fallen off of his radar screen until now.

  He agreed to meet her later that day. As he set the phone down, he wondered if he should tell Kate. She deserved to know, but he also didn’t expect her to be happy about it. He walked to her office. She wasn’t there.

  “She’s gone to meet an author,” Lulu said behind him.

  “Oh, she didn’t tell me she was leaving.”

  “You were on the phone and your door was closed.” she smiled.

  Right, he thought. Door closed. She’d respect that. Never mind. He’d go and see what Lizzy wanted and he’d be firm with her. He was divorced, yes, but he was in a serious relationship.

  …

  Kate trudged through the snow. Six inches had fallen overnight and they expected more the next day. It had been too long since she’d checked on Allan’s apartment. But now she needed to make sure the cleanup crew had done their work. She heard from the management company that the apartment had been rented. Nick had finally decided to rent it. But no word from Nick on that. Just a formal note via the management team letting her know she no longer needed to look after Allan’s apartment. She knew that they would handle the move in, but Kate wanted to check it one last time. To see it again before someone moved in. Hard to believe that it had stood vacant nearly two years.

  Kate pulled her jacket tighter around her. She wished she had remembered to bring her earmuffs; it was a bitter twenty degrees out. She’d texted Andrew this morning with a picture of the icicles hanging from the streetlamps. We could use some heat here. Send whatever you can, she’d said. Andrew responded with a picture of himself and James in shorts and t-shirts, smiling into the camera. Sorry Luv. Eighty-four here today. They were still away on their extended honeymoon in Maui.

  Kate walked up the stairs to Allan’s apartment. It was quiet. Everyone no doubt holed up in their warm apartments. She slipped the key in the lock and pushed the door open. She walked inside and looked around. Someone had packed up the remainder of Allan’s things. His table and chairs. There was a box marked “Kate Mitchell” with Mac’s address on it. It was ready for shipping. She walked over to it, puzzled.

  “I had them box that up for you,” a familiar voice said behind her. Kate spun around.

  It was Nick.

  …

  Kate took a deep breath; she was ready for a lot but certainly not this. It had been a year, almost to the date, that she and Nick had broken up.

  “Nick,” she said finally, her voice croaked slightly. “Nick,” she said again, this time slightly calmer. “What are you doing here?”

  “Overseeing the sale.” Nick smiled at her, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He walked inside and closed the door behind him.

  “Sale?” Nick never took his eyes off of her. They almost burned into her; she shifted from one foot to the other. She had wanted to see Nick again, to talk things through, but not right now. She wasn’t prepared for this, and the sight of him shifted her off of her axis. Kate steadied herself against the kitchen table. Nick walked past her and into the kitchen.

  “Yes,” he said finally, not looking at her. What a relief not to have his eyes on her. “We got an offer, last minute. It was a good one and I decided to take it.”

  “What about the renters?” she asked. He turned back to her. Those eyes. Damn it. Was that hate she saw in them or disgust? Probably both.

  Nick shrugged. “Things happen. Stuff doesn’t always work out.” Kate was certain that last line was for her.

  “Well, then I’ll just go.”

  “Take the box,” he said, his voice flat. Kate hesitated for a moment, but if she was going to do this, she needed to do it now. She inhaled deeply, then again. As she did, she felt herself calm. Kate ran her hand along the box. “Nick,” she began tentatively, “I want to talk with you about what happened.”

  “Now is not the time, Kate.” There was a thread of impatience in his voice.

  Kate turned to face him. “Then when is, Nick? I’ve tried to reach out to you, to give you time. I want to clear this up between us.”

  “Why? So you can feel better about what you did?”

  Ouch. She wasn’t sure where the blade went in, but it was sharp and she was pretty sure it would leave a mark.

  Kate felt her throat tighten. “I’m sorry Nick. There is nothing else I can say and if you want me to say it a hundred more times, I will. I’m sorry for what I did.”

  Nick did not respond; he just stared at her. Those burning eyes. If this had been a science fiction movie—the ones where the hero or evil villain actually has a set of eyes that can shoot fire—she was sure she would be incinerated by now.

  “Nick, I know I hurt you terribly. But I hope you know that I loved you, too, and you made me happy. I just didn’t love you enough, or the way I should have. So, to an extent, I guess you’re right. I never set out to intentionally hurt you, but in the end I did this horrible thing and I’ll never forgive myself for it.” Nick remained silent, just staring at her. It was almost unnerving. Finally, she said, “I just need to know that you’re okay.”

  Nick still stared at her, not responding. Kate could see he was just not going to have the discussion she’d hoped.

  “Okay then,” she said with a shrug, “I’ll go. When you are ready to talk, please let me know. There is still much to be said, like the fact that I am so grateful to you for getting me through one of the more horrible times of my life. I will never forget what you did for me, and I hope that someday—”

  Nick held up a hand. “If you’re going to say I hope we can be friends, save it. It’s a cliché statement that never works. We both know that it won’t.”

  That was it then; Nick still had too much anger to even absorb what she was saying. Kate slipped her arms around the box and lifted it. She turned back to Nick. “No, what I was going to say was that if you need someone—a friend, a shoulder, whatever—I’m here. I respect you too much to just throw out a statement like, ‘let’s be friends.’ I just wanted you to know that I’ll do whatever I can to help you, if you ever need it. Goodbye, Nick.”

  She turned to leave and for a moment struggled with the old doorknob.

  “Wait,” Nick said, his voice softer. He sounded like the Nick she remembered. Kate turned slowly and set the box down.

  He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and looked around. “This is where we met. Do you remember that?”

  “I do,” she said, in almost a whisper.

  “I think I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. You were—are—this feisty, fiery woman who loved her job, in spite of the industry; who loved my uncle when the world had turned their backs on him. I loved you for that and for so many other things, Kate.”

  Kate felt a tear slip from her eye. She wiped it away.

  Nick continued, “I knew when you came to LA that you were broken and coming off of this relationship, this man you loved, and I knew that there was part of your heart I would never have and I told myself it was okay. That I would take what I could if I could have you in my life.” Nick paused for a moment and walked to the other end of the room where Allan’s living room used to be. Nick stood in front of the window.

  “I knew, Kate. In my heart, I knew you didn’t love me that way. When you broke it off I was incredibly hurt, but part of me wasn’t surprised. I
should have given you more time, insisted that we not rush into our relationship. But, I had this cockamamie idea that we had some destiny to be together because of Uncle Allan and the book. I felt like there was no way we could fail and at the same time part of me always knew we would.” Nick shrugged and turned to face her. “I know it takes two, Kate. And I’m sorry I was so angry with you just now. I just wasn’t prepared to see you today, or ever again.”

  Kate licked her lips nervously. “I wish—”

  “Don’t say it. I know. I wish things could have been different, too. But they aren’t. I need to know though, Kate: Are you happy? I mean, happier than you were with me?”

  She nodded. “I am.”

  “Then that’s all that matters.” Nick thought of Mac, but decided he didn’t feel like asking. Kate was clearly happy and Mac’s name left a bitter taste in his mouth. One he didn’t care to experience again.

  An awkward silence followed. Kate wanted to hug him, but she wasn’t sure it was really right or fair. Nick walked over to her and stood in front of her. Tall, handsome, and a smile that crinkled his eyes.

  “You’re glowing, Kate,” he said softly. “You belong in this city, and I suspect the city is a bit lost without you, too.” A gentle hand reached up and pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

  “I’ve missed you,” he said, and for a moment Kate thought he might kiss her. Nick sighed. “I miss your spirit, Kate. But in case you’re worried, I’m fine. Really. Life does go on, sometimes whether we want it to or not.”

  Kate felt her eyes burning with tears. “I’ve missed you, too,” she said, her voice breaking.

  “I need to go,” Nick said, his voice still soft. “Let me help you with the box.”

  “No, it’s okay, it’s not heavy. By the way, what’s in it?”

  Nick smiled. “Uncle’s computer and all the notes he made from The Fall and After The Fall. I found them and thought you’d want them.”

  Damn, those tears again. They slipped from her eyes. “Yes,” she was barely able to talk, “thank you.” Kate reached up and kissed Nick on the cheek, then scooped up the box and scurried down the stairs. It was the last time she would be in Allan’s apartment and possibly the last time she’d see Nick.

  …

  Mac walked into the Radiance Tea House on Fifty-Fifth Street. In addition to tea, Radiance also served lunch in a quiet and serene atmosphere. When he walked in and up the short flight of stairs, he saw Elizabeth sitting at a table, her hands around a mug of tea. She didn’t look much different from the last time he’d seen her at MD. Her blond hair was shorter and wavier and framed her face. She looked up and saw Mac, a familiar smile greeted him, and for a moment, he was back in that time with Lizzy. They’d had a lot of fun during their year together. Trips to upstate New York and weekends in various elegant B&B’s. Lizzy was fun and easy to be around.

  “Elizabeth,” he smiled as he approached her table, “it’s good to see you.”

  She stood up, clasped his hands, and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for coming; it’s good to see you, too.”

  Mac shrugged out of his coat and draped it over the chair. Pushing it back, he sat down.

  “So, how are you, Lizzy?”

  “I’m good. Well, great actually. I’m getting married.”

  Mac couldn’t have been more surprised or happier for her. He knew the breakup had been really hard on her, too. “I’m thrilled for you.” He smiled and his hand reached out and touched hers.

  “That smile, Mac. I’ve missed that smile.”

  “So, tell me about this lucky man.”

  …

  Kate was still shaking when she left Allan’s. She decided to head home, drop the box, and go back to work. After she left the apartment, Kate decided to head to a nearby teashop for a cup of ginger tea. Kate walked into the Radiance Tea House, but she wasn’t prepared for what she saw. Mac was there with Elizabeth Eberhardt, a former editor at MD. There had been a rumor that they’d been seeing each other and that’s why Elizabeth left. Kate could feel herself starting to shake. There had to be a good reason that Mac was here. Of course there was. Then, she saw him lean forward and drape his hand over hers and smile. They smiled together. Was that a smitten look Kate saw on her face?

  “Miss, may I help you?” The hostess jarred her from her thoughts.

  “N-no, no thank you. I’m leaving.” The hostess frowned as Kate hurried back through the door, her heart thumping in her chest. She was outside, her jacket hung open, but Kate didn’t notice. Mac. What was he doing with Elizabeth, and if it was innocent, why hadn’t he told her he was meeting her?

  Kate raced back to their apartment. Too much. The day had been too much. First, the shock of seeing Nick and now this. She needed to think somewhere quiet. Kate raced back to their apartment as fast as she could.

  …

  “Hey sweetheart,” Mac said, walking through the front door. “Katie?” he called out to her. He walked into the living room. She wasn’t there.

  “Kate?” he said again. Finally, she emerged from their bedroom clad in a robe, her face colorless. In a few quick strides, Mac was upon her.

  “Honey, are you okay? Lu said you went home. Are you not feeling well?” He put his hand to her forehead.

  Kate had spent the afternoon thinking about what she saw and feeling like perhaps Carolyn may have felt a time or two. No. No. It was different. Mac was different. It was all some reasonable misunderstanding.

  “Kate,” Mac said again, the worry evident, “are you all right? It’s not like you to leave work.”

  She nodded. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. I just had…well, a rough day.”

  Mac pulled her to him. “That’s right, Allan’s apartment. Of course, how could I forget? I should have gone with you.” Oh God, Kate thought, that would have been a disaster.

  “No, it was fine. Turns out it’s been sold.”

  Mac kissed the top of her head. “Sold? Wow, that’s a surprise. Did you know anything about that?”

  Ask him! Her mind urged. Don’t be such a coward. Ask him!

  “Mac,” Kate began hesitantly, “I-I need to ask you something.”

  “Kate, listen, I know it’s been a rough day, but I need to tell you something, too. And it’s important that I tell you right now.”

  Oh God, here it comes, her mind screamed. You’re getting the old heave-ho, just like you gave to Nick. Serves you right.

  “Kate, let’s sit down.”

  Sitting is never good. Nothing ever good started with someone saying, ‘Let’s sit down.’

  Mac eased her over to the couches, and against her better judgment, Kate sat down.

  “Kate, I’m so sorry…”

  No. This can’t be happening.

  “I saw Elizabeth today, for tea. She called me and asked to see me, and I told her I couldn’t—that I was with you. But, she insisted and, well, I sort of figured I owed her that. I mean, the way we left it when we broke up, and I was such a chicken shit about the whole thing. Anyway, I went to your office to tell you and you weren’t there, so I went and I’m sorry.”

  It took Kate’s mind a moment to catch up with what Mac was saying; when it did, she thought her heart was going to explode.

  “What?” she said, but it was more of a semi-gasp and the air pushed out of her lungs in sheer relief.

  “I saw Elizabeth, but it was quick and she just wanted to tell me that she was getting married, and, I think, get closure.”

  Suddenly, Kate started to cry. Fuck, she felt stupid. Of course, it was innocent. She threw her arms around him. “Thank you.” She could hear herself sobbing and decided she sounded pathetic. Rein it in, Kate, she thought.

  “Kate, what’s wrong?” Mac was no fool.

  Kate pulled her scattered mind together, took a deep breath, and said, “I saw you two. I went to Radiance after Allan’s, just to grab a cup of tea, and I saw you there.”

  Mac just looked at her. “And you thought that she and I…?”
/>
  “No. Well, I mean, no. I mean, I wasn’t sure. I had just come from the apartment and seeing Nick and I was just frazzled.”

  Mac frowned. “Wait, you saw Nick?”

  Kate nodded. “I was at the apartment, and he arrived after I got there. We talked.”

  “How did it go?”

  “Initially, not well. At all. Actually, that’s an understatement. But then it was just okay. I mean, I think he’s okay.”

  “And then you left there and headed to Radiance and saw me with Elizabeth.”

  Kate nodded; she felt like a child having to admit what she did wrong.

  Mac kissed her softly. “Katie, you had every right to think what you did.”

  Kate blinked. “What?”

  Mac smiled and stroked her hair. “Of course, you wondered. With my track record, who wouldn’t?”

  “Mac, it wasn’t fair. I should have known.”

  “Yes, you should have, but I can’t blame you that you did. I wasn’t faithful to Carolyn, and you and I started this under less than stellar circumstances. I get that we still have a lot to work through, Katie.”

  God, she loved him.

  “But know this,” he continued, his eyes boring into her, “I just don’t work without you. When you were out of my life, it was hell. I was broken; my life is just shit when you’re not around. I wasn’t with anyone else when we were apart. I just couldn’t. They were all a ‘poor man’s Kate.’” He paused for a moment and ran a finger across her lips; she felt a spark in her belly. Electric and hot.

  Mac’s voice dropped, low and husky. “Even when Carolyn and I stopped working and I moved to the city, I never felt the way I did when I was without you. I never want to feel that way again, Katie. I know that my past is a lot to deal with, but know this: I will never, ever stray from you. You satisfy me in ways that no other woman ever has, both mentally and physically.”

  She shifted in her seat; she really wanted to climb him. Slip off her robe, unbuckle his pants, and…

  “I love you, Katie,” he said, interrupting her wicked thoughts. “There will be no one else for me but you, and if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that to you, I will.” Mac kissed her deeply and passionately. He held her face and slid his hands under the collar of her robe.